The Best Laid Plans
by Ryoma
Summary: Who will Shinji end up with, Asuka, Rei or Hikari? And who was the mastermind behind this elaborate scheme?...FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW UP !!!
1. The Katsuragi Maneuver

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:  
  
  
The Best Laid Plans  
  
  
Chapter One "The Katsuragi Maneuver"  
  
  
by Ryoma  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
"Mein Gott in Himmel!" Asuka Langley Sohryu exclaimed, her fork falling to the table with a clang in the process. "This is the worst thing I have ever tasted in my entire life!"  
  
  
Frantically grabbing at her soda, she proceeded to guzzle it down in a futile attempt to wash the offending taste from her palate. Reaching the bottom of the glass she shook it as each drop brought her some semblance of relief. Satisfied that no further liquid could be obtained from the container, she slammed it down to the table.  
  
  
"Based on the law of trial and error, even YOU should be getting better at this." Asuka slowly pushed the bowl away, carefully turning her head to the side, avoiding the pungent aroma.  
  
  
"Now, now Asuka...it's not that bad," Misato Katsuragi replied, reaching for her beer.  
  
  
"Sorry Misato but this time it truly is!" Asuka trumpeted, her face still contorted from the nausea in her stomach.  
  
  
"You just don't like traditional Japanese food, that's all."  
  
  
"I'll agree there, Japanese food isn't my favorite," Asuka started while nodding her head to the older woman. Slowly a wry grin grew on her face as she continued, "but this is about as close to traditional Japanese food as sauerkraut."  
  
  
Misato finished taking a fairly large gulp of her beer. "What's the problem with my cooking this time?" she sighed.  
  
  
"The shorter answer would be what's not wrong," Asuka grumbled. "It still amazes me how you can burn half of the stuff, yet still keep the other half ice cold. It's a frickin' modern marvel. Plus you..."  
  
  
Misato silently sipped her beer as her red haired minion continued her verbal assault. She had become quite used to this weekly abuse, in preparation she always made sure to have plenty of beer on hand when it was her turn to cook. It seemed to help the situation. After a solid minute of Asuka's griping, Misato decided she had enough.  
  
  
"Shut your face!" she screamed, ramming her empty beer can into the table.   
  
  
Misato took advantage of the newfound silence to compose herself as she turned to the other party at the table, who was presently trying to make himself as small as possible.   
  
  
Deep down, she knew it was wrong, but her fall back plan in these confrontations with Asuka had always been the same. Involve the Third Child, Shinji Ikari, any way possible. The net result of his involvement was always the same, the women would both begin to tease him and she would be forgotten about. She gave a slight internal sigh of regret as she decided to initiate the Katsuragi Maneuver. It was cruel but Shinji must be used to it by now, she thought.   
  
  
"Well, Shinji here seems to like it."  
  
  
Becoming enraged Asuka pointed at the boy, "That moron would eat anything you put in front of him."   
  
  
"I would not!" Shinji protested.  
  
  
"Yes you would, you jerk!" Asuka placed her hands under her chin and blinked adoringly. "You would do ANYTHING for Misato."  
  
  
"That's not true and you know it!" Shinji objected as he jumped to his feet, the chair falling away behind him.  
  
  
Asuka edged closer to him, answering his aggressive move. "It IS true, you are so stupid, you'd even eat this sheisse rather than upset your dear Misato."  
  
  
"Well there's nothing wrong with being polite."   
  
  
Shinji turned away from Asuka before continuing, "of course you wouldn't know anything about that."  
  
  
Misato had returned from getting another beer and sat back down at the table. She leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smile on her face as she watched the results of her plan.   
  
  
Opening her beverage, she started to formulate an acceptable plan to end the bickering.  
  
  
Asuka grabbed Shinji's shoulder and spun him around to face her wrath.   
  
  
"Listen here Third Child," she bellowed jabbing him in the chest with her finger. "I know a lot more than you about politeness." Reaching down she grabbed his bowl shaking it in front of his face.   
  
  
"Eating this CRAP has nothing to do...with...it." she exclaimed as her voice began to trail off.  
  
  
Misato picked up the change in Asuka's voice. It seemed a little too early for her to storm off, she thought. She also noticed that the German had been staring into Shinji's bowl for quite a while now.   
  
  
Asuka slowly placed it back down on the table, her face beaming with pride. Shinji on the other hand, looked completely flustered. Unable to face either woman, he decided to carefully observe the ceiling tiles.  
  
  
"Well, well Misato," Asuka started as she carefully placed her hands behind her back, adding a little dance step to her sermon. "It appears that you have hit a new all time low."  
  
  
Misato gazed at Asuka suspiciously, then slowly sat up and leaned over to examine Shinji's bowl. It was still full, he hadn't even touched it. She sunk back into her chair.  
  
  
"Even the Invincible Shinji couldn't stomach your cooking this time," the satisfaction evident in her voice. Asuka was positively exploding with joy, while Shinji shifted his view to the floor now.   
  
  
"My how you must feel now," she added.  
  
  
Misato could only stare at the boy, searching for an answer. Her eyes yearned for an explanation, crying out, as if he had somehow betrayed her. She took a quick gulp of beer and slammed it down, causing the boy to jump.   
  
  
"Shinji, how come you didn't eat anything?"  
  
  
He slowly lifted his head to face her. "I...it was...ah...um..." he stammered, searching for the words.  
  
  
"Great Misato, your food gave the stooge here brain damage!" Asuka chimed in.  
  
  
Misato fired off a scowl at her before turning back to the still mumbling Shinji.   
  
  
"Go ahead, you can tell me the truth. I can take it," she spoke in an almost pleading tone.  
  
  
He took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts. She did ask for the truth, so her feelings won't be hurt he supposed.   
  
  
"Do you want me to be honest?" he asked reluctantly, verifying his hypothesis.  
  
  
"Of course," she replied, then raised the tone in her voice, "now spill it!"  
  
  
Shinji again took a deep breath. "Normally I can at least STAND your cooking, but this time well it was just awful." The words all came out in a rush.  
  
  
Misato's expression went blank as she realized what had just happened. The shy boy who would never express an opinion about anything in life not only complained about her cooking, but he also didn't throw in his standard 'I'm sorry' at the end.   
  
  
If the circumstances were different, she would have picked him up and given him a hug for showing some spine.   
  
  
However, current events dictated that he would have to be punished for his insolence. The girl was right, she had reached a new low. Asuka would also have to be punished for pointing that out.  
  
  
"Awful, huh!" Misato started, looking at the two teens standing side by side across the table. "Well fine, if my cooking is that BAD, Shinji will be taking over one of my nights to cook."  
  
  
She watched as a little smirk appeared on the Second Child's face. "And Asuka, since you started this you'll be taking the other night."   
  
  
Shinji sighed and hung his head, while surprisingly Asuka appeared quite unaffected.   
  
  
Misato achieved her desired response from Shinji, but she couldn't figure out why Asuka seemed so indifferent. A tight grin grew on her face as the Major finally determined the cause of Asuka's reaction.   
  
  
"And no ordering take out on your nights, Asuka."   
  
  
Yes, that did it, Misato reflected as the girl's expression changed to match her companion's, if not worse.  
  
  
Very full of herself for again outwitting her charges, Misato calmly sat back in her chair and guzzled the last of her beer. She started to notice that although the two Eva pilots hadn't said anything yet, Shinji's twitching hand and Asuka's increasingly nasty expression relayed a sense of impending hostility, probably directed at her.   
  
  
It was time to end this game, the Major decided. Even she had to admit that the food was terrible. Her plan all along had been to call Kaji and get him to take her out to dinner as soon as she could sneak away from the Children. Asuka's outburst sabotaged those plans, but she was still hungry and a takeout order was still possible, if she could make her meal a distant memory.  
  
  
She decided to initiate the Katsuragi Maneuver yet again.  
  
  
"I'm surprised to see you two agree on something," Misato causally mentioned as she innocently ran her finger around the top of her beer can. "In fact you two have been getting along much better lately." She looked up to examine their mutual blank expression before continuing.   
  
  
"Do you want me to leave so you can make out?"   
  
  
Asuka's jaw hit the table as her face quickly matched the color of her hair. Her partner didn't fair any better, his jaw completely missed the table and landed directly on the floor, his facial color had long since passed crimson on its way to vermilion.   
  
  
It was all Misato could do to not burst out in laughter, but she kept her straight face as she stood.   
  
  
"Well?" Not content with simple words, Misato added kissing sounds as she started to clear the table, quite happy in her apparent victory.  
  
  
Shinji was the first to regain his senses. "What, er...yes, I mean no..." he stammered out before stopping to catch his breath.  
  
  
His incoherent mumbling broke Asuka's daze. "What, me kiss that pervert! NEVER!"  
  
  
Shinji finally composed himself to the point that he realized he should be taken aback by her comments.   
  
  
"I'm not a pervert." He turned to stare his fellow pilot in the face.  
  
  
"Yes you are," she replied matching his glare.   
  
  
"No, I'm not!"  
  
  
"Yes you are. Besides it doesn't matter because if I did kiss you, you'd faint anyway."  
  
  
"I would not," he said as he moved closer to the girl, in a desperate attempt to intimidate her.  
  
  
"Would too," she responded, sensing his aggressive move she matched it by moving closer herself.  
  
  
"Would not!"   
  
  
Putting on his angriest face, he countered her move by moving still closer, their faces mere inches apart.   
  
  
"Idiot, yes you would, just like last time!" she shouted, her own face bathed in a scowl.  
  
  
"I couldn't breathe because YOU were holding my nose!"   
  
  
Both of them stopped yelling and started to blush as the fact that they just accidentally exposed their little secret to Misato. The pain of embarrassment was evident in their faces as they turned in unison to face their guardian.   
  
  
Much to their surprise she was gone. In the void where she once stood they could only hear the TV blaring in the next room.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Misato decided early in the fight to get out of the kitchen as quickly as possible. After initiating the Katsuragi Maneuver, she grabbed her beer and left the battlefield, lest she be caught in the crossfire. Having moved to the living room, she was relaxing on the couch with her fresh beer in her hand, flipping through the TV channels trying her best to ignore the incessant chatter in the next room. Subconsciously she thought she heard something of interest, her finger desperately finding and pressing the MUTE button. Cocking her head in an effort to listen better she found that the conversation had stopped. The sudden silence that came from the kitchen was a slight cause for alarm, but since she could hear no sounds of a struggle she sunk deeper into her relaxing thoughts as the channel flipping resumed.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Shinji and Asuka listened intently for a remark from their roommate. Although they had both been screaming, Misato was notorious for ignoring their fights and her lack of a response to their highly embarrassing revelation seemed to ease their tension.  
  
  
"That was close, moron, watch it next time," Asuka whispered.  
  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
  
Asuka balled up her fist and shook it menacingly at him. "You will be if anyone finds out!" she hissed while still keeping her voice low enough that a certain Major couldn't hear it.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Misato was growing concerned with the silence in the apartment. She had turned down the TV in an effort to determine exactly what was happening in the kitchen between her two charges.   
  
  
To be honest, most of her concern was centered on the fact that she was becoming quite hungry and was ready to order some take out. Her major problem was the squabble between her roommates didn't seem long enough in her opinion to allow her to safely order food without the danger of bringing back comparisons to her earlier attempt to fashion a meal. It seemed that a quick fueling of the flames was in order.  
  
  
"I don't hear anything in there...are you two lip locked?" Misato giggled quietly at her genius.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Asuka was really beginning to resent her elder guardian's insinuations. She watched silently as Shinji started again stammering incoherently about not being a pervert, when Asuka suddenly thought she could distinctly hear the sound of laughter coming from the next room.   
  
  
Her eyes lit up like a beserker Unit 01 as she finally figured out the true meaning of the Katsuragi Maneuver. An evil smirk slowly grew on her face as she started to put the pieces together. The smirk turned into a frown as the endless drone coming from Shinji's mouth was continually derailing her train of thought. Her hand darted out and smacked him in the back of the head.   
  
  
"Would you please stop your blubbering, I'm trying to think."  
  
  
The boy stood silently, rubbing the back of his head while Asuka paced back and forth in the kitchen. She rested her hand on her chin, her mind deep in thought.   
  
  
"Shinji," she whispered, "say something bad about me."  
  
  
The best he could muster was a bewildered look as he tried to comprehend her request.   
  
  
"Huh, what are you talking about?" he whispered back.  
  
  
Asuka was becoming concerned that the silence in the room would attract suspicion. "Damn it," she groaned, "call me some names or something."   
  
  
Shinji simply cocked his head, unable to understand exactly what he was supposed to do.   
  
  
Drastic measures were in order and with an almost remorseful sigh, she reared back and punched Shinji in his right shoulder.  
  
  
"OW! Damn it! What the hell did you do that for," he yelled while rubbing his upper arm.  
  
  
"Because you're such a dork, that's why!" she screamed, directing her voice towards the entrance to the living room. Asuka began waving her arms, trying to encourage him to continue the verbal exchange.  
  
  
Shinji still didn't know exactly what the girl's plan was, but the pain in his arm convinced him to continue, "I'm not a dork...what the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
  
Asuka nodded approvingly as she moved in closer to Shinji, who cowered back in fear as she approached.   
  
  
"Quit it," she whispered, "I'm not going to hit you anymore."   
  
  
Shinji stopped backing up and moved in closer to her. "Listen carefully, we don't have much time."  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Misato was feeling downright ecstatic at this point. She heard Asuka's punch clearly, even at this distance. A part of her was a little worried that Shinji might be hurt, but deep down Misato knew that Asuka could never bring herself to really injure the poor boy. As the two started another heated exchange, Misato calmly turned to the other occupant in the room, Pen Pen.   
  
  
"I think I'm going to get beef ramen, what about you?"  
  
  
"WWWAAARRRKKK!!" came her feathered friend's reply.  
  
  
Misato frowned and stared down at the bird. "Okay, but if your going to keep ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, your going to have to get a job."  
  
  
"WARK!" the bird squawked as he handed her a 100,000 yen note.   
  
  
Misato hesitantly took the money, first wondering where he got it and then feeling a bit jealous that he had more cash then her.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
The two Children were huddled together in the center of the kitchen.   
  
  
"Shinji, I figured it out."   
  
  
"Figured out what?" he responded while starting to ease away. His defensive reflexes were on a heightened state of readiness. The throbbing pain in his arm and Asuka's unusual behavior had seen to that.  
  
  
Watching him back away, Asuka groaned and put her arm around his neck, pulling him in close to her.   
  
  
"Idiot, stand still for one minute while I explain." She picked her head up and scanned the area, left and right, ensuring they had privacy.   
  
  
"Do you know how we are always fighting?"   
  
  
Shinji simply stared back at her, the mocking expression on his face her answer.   
  
  
"Oh yeah, dumb question...anyway, doesn't it seem odd that we fight this much? I mean sure, you can be really stupid at times. And annoying. Sometimes I don't know WHY I put up with you..."  
  
  
His now livid appearance combined with his rapid clenching and unclenching of his fists caught the girl's attention.  
  
  
"Okay, I guess sometimes I can be difficult to get along with."  
  
  
Shinji nodded his head with an ear to ear grin.  
  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
  
"I didn't say anything," he whimpered.  
  
  
"Well, you were...now listen." She again pulled him in close, only after again checking for an eavesdropper.  
  
  
"It finally dawned on me why we fight so much...it's Misato."  
  
  
"Misato!?!?"   
  
  
"SSSSHHHHH, keep you voice down or she'll hear us. Yes, Misato. I got it all figured out. See whenever someone starts to make fun of her, she changes the conversation to one of us."  
  
  
"ONE of us?"  
  
  
Asuka blushed a bit. "Well...mostly you."  
  
  
"Thanks."  
  
  
"But the point is she is able escape while I torture you."  
  
  
Shinji paused as he reviewed the key points in Asuka's theory. She seemed to make some valid arguments. Even he couldn't understand why they seemed to fight so often. No Angels appeared for months after the 12th and Asuka returned to routinely beating his sync ratio. There wasn't much stress, apart from schoolwork, so it couldn't be that. Aside from that really strange dream in which he thought destroyed mankind, only to be trapped alone with Asuka back on Earth, Shinji's life had been relatively normal. The pieces were starting to fit.   
  
  
Yet still, Misato? She agreed to be his guardian over a year ago so she must be looking out for his best interests. She acted a little immature sometimes, quite immature actually so the possibility was there.  
  
  
"I don't know Asuka...I mean she's supposed to be taking care of us."  
  
  
Asuka sensed Shinji's disbelief. Quickly she formulated a plan to dispel any doubts he might have.  
  
  
"I'm going to prove that she's messing with our heads."  
  
  
Shinji nodded in agreement.  
  
  
"Follow my lead, we're going to give her a little test."  
  
  
He simply continued nodding, drawing a sigh from the red head.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Unable to convince her penguin to get another beer, Misato rolled off the couch and walked toward the kitchen. Stepping through the door, she was immediately confronted by the two pilots. Surprisingly, neither of them looked to upset, although Shinji did appear quite nervous.  
  
  
"So, are you two finished?"  
  
  
"Yes," Asuka replied while elbowing Shinji.  
  
  
"Er...yes," he followed while rubbing his arm.  
  
  
"That's a relief," she responded before switching into a motherly tone. "I just wish the two of you would learn to get along."   
  
  
Misato frowned despondently and changed to her most emotionally upset tone, "I...it's very hard as your guardian to see you fight all the time," she cried, her voice breaking up at the end.   
  
  
Finding it nearly impossible to keep a straight face, she quickly turned away. "I want to help you two, if there is anything I can do..." She hunched over, her faux tears and sobs filling the room.  
  
  
Asuka turned to the boy, her face aglow in triumph as she nodded slightly to him.  
  
  
Twisting his head in disapproval, Shinji signaled he required more evidence before passing judgement.  
  
  
Asuka balled up her fist and shook it at him, complementing that action with a scowl.   
  
  
"If you really want to help, you COULD spend more time at home. You know, providing me and the dork here a good role model."  
  
  
Her request surprised Misato, catching her off guard. After a moment she decided to take a defensive stand as she turned to face them.  
  
  
"Well, things have been real busy at NERV, I am the Operations Director you know. I just can't up and leave at 4:00 everyday."  
  
  
"What do you mean, busy? There hasn't been an Angel attack in months...and the gossip around the cafeteria is that Commander Ikari found a typo in the Dead Sea Scrolls and the HCP project has been scrapped."  
  
  
How had Asuka found out about the end of the HCP project? Misato made a mental note to herself, first thing Monday a complete overhaul of Section 2 was in order.   
  
  
"Your reliable sources aside, Asuka, I still have to deal with all the day to day problems that arise."  
  
  
"Oh please, the biggest problem you've had in the past three months was the Yebisu brewers strike...and you single handedly negotiated their new contract in record time."  
  
  
Misato smiled as memories of her greatest achievement to date flashed through her mind. The papers labeled her a hero. The local bars provided plenty of congratulatory drinks. Strangers stopped her and shook her hand on the street, and if Command Ikari hadn't vetoed it, there would have been that calendar shoot. She was going to be Ms.Yebisu for January.   
  
  
The memories also provided another benefit, they reminded her why she entered the kitchen in the first place, beer.  
  
  
Watching her guardian bend over to grab another can out of the fridge, Asuka sprung the trap.   
  
  
"So, you have no GOOD reason not to be here for the two of us," glancing over to Shinji as she finished.  
  
  
"Er...um...well."   
  
  
It appeared Misato caught Shinji's brain damage from earlier. Caught completely off guard by her minion, desperate measures were required if she was to escape. Mentally slamming her fist on the big red button marked, Katsuragi Maneuver, she spoke.   
  
  
"Well, I figured I'd give lover boy over there a chance to spend some quality time alone with you!"  
  
  
Misato sat back and awaited the inevitable. The blushing, the screaming, the physical violence that always followed her tactics.   
  
  
This time however, things were not proceeding according to the script. Nervousness started to show on Misato's face as the two Children simply stared at her.  
  
  
Perhaps they're finally on to me, she thought as her eyes darted left and right, looking for an acceptable escape route.   
  
  
Finding none, she peered down to her friend Pen Pen hoping he possessed a plan. He simply shrugged his wings and walked out of the room. He hated to be accidentally stepped on during the fights. Webbed feet were fine for swimming, but they provided too large a target for struggling humans.  
  
  
Shinji glanced at Asuka, waiting for her to do something. Normally both of them would be blushing at the mere thought of what Misato said, but the fact that she was so right seemed to overwhelm her. Asuka simply stood frozen, an astonished look on her face her only outward expression.   
  
  
Lucky for her, Shinji was able to keep his wits about him in the increasingly tense situation. Realizing that Misato was still awaiting a reply, and not wanting to arouse further suspicion, he finally spoke up.   
  
  
"It's not like that, I'm not a dork..."   
  
  
He looked longingly over to Asuka although she still appeared to be in a state of shock at Misato's predictability. Kicking her shin he finally broke her trance.  
  
  
"Oh...yeah, I'd never touch this jerk...I mean dork in my life."  
  
  
"I am not a pervert...you are!"  
  
  
Asuka gazed at Shinji with bewilderment, all he could do was shrug his shoulders.   
  
  
"Don't you wish!" she hesitantly bellowed.  
  
  
Try as they might, even after a year of practice, the two of them just couldn't stage a fight. Without the dynamics involved in their usual fights, they were becoming quite nervous as their response's continued to make less and less sense.  
  
  
"Now, now kids, stop this fighting," Misato replied while waving her hand.  
  
  
Asuka and Shinji both breathed a sigh of relief, somehow their ruse had worked.  
  
  
Her hunger pains becoming unbearable, Misato seized her opportunity. "Now that's better. I want you two to stop this bickering."  
  
  
The Second and Third reluctantly nodded to one another, all the while being carefully watched by their guardian  
  
  
"Good, now that's over what do you want to do tonight?"  
  
  
"Well," Asuka started, rubbing her stomach. "I'm still pretty hungry."  
  
  
Misato seized the chance. "Who wants take out?"   
  
  
"Oh, Misato...I think you should order from that place on the east side that you like so much."  
  
  
"But Asuka, you know they don't deliver out here."  
  
  
"Shinji can go pick it up."  
  
  
The dark haired boy was about to speak, but one evil stare from his fellow pilot caused him to reconsider.  
  
  
"Well, I was going to get something delivered...but I do love that place your talking about, and since I'm paying..."  
  
  
"WWWAAARRRKKK!!!" Pen Pen suddenly appeared and began storming around the kitchen. "WWAARRKK, WARK, WWWAA..."  
  
  
His tirade was cut short as Misato's foot punted him out of the room.   
  
  
"Heh, heh, I wonder what his problem was?"   
  
  
Turning to face the boy and switching to her sweetest voice, she spoke. "Shinji, will you please go pick up our food...I'll have Asuka call it in."  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
Shinji and Misato stood in shock as they both turned to face the voice.   
  
  
"No, you call it in, I'm going with the idiot here to make sure he doesn't screw up the order or get lost along the way!"  
  
  
Immediately Misato military instincts sensed something was different here, after all Asuka never helped Shinji unless she was told. Perhaps she was opening up to the boy. Or maybe she wanted to tease him away from her protection. No matter what, she had ulterior motives.   
  
  
However Misato's hunger pains were becoming debilitating so she wouldn't press the issue, for now.   
  
  
"Fine, if you want to go pick it up with him, I'll call it in."  
  
  
Slowly the realization sunk in that somehow the two most important women in his life succeeded in making him traipse half way across the city for take out he really didn't want. The trek to the restaurant didn't bother him as much as the hurt he felt at Misato's betrayal. At that moment he decided to confront Misato as soon as she hung up the phone. As he mentally rehearsed his speech, he felt a strong tug on his ear.  
  
  
"Come on stupid."  
  
  
Asuka pulled Shinji through the kitchen, past a waving Misato and through the front door. As the door closed behind them, she released her grip.  
  
  
"Ouch, that hurt," he cried while rubbing his ear.  
  
  
"I could tell by the look in your eyes you were going to tell her that I discovered her little plan."  
  
  
"So what?"  
  
  
"So, she's not getting off that easy, that's what. No one makes a fool out of Asuka Langley Sohryu...I must get my revenge!"  
  
  
"Fine, I won't tell her."  
  
  
"Good boy." Asuka smiled at him, his blush the reward.  
  
  
Finally breaking her gaze, he started towards the elevator. "So, why did you agree to go pick up the food with me?"  
  
  
"I needed to get out of that apartment and be alone with you."  
  
  
Glancing over she couldn't help but notice the ever-widening grin on her companion's face.  
  
  
"What are you stupid?" she started with an incredulous look on her face. "It's not like that, I didn't want Misato to hear that's all. We have some planning to do!"  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
  
Next Chapter: "Asuka Strikes Back"  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
An so starts the next fic...as you can tell this is much different then my previous fic. I intend this to be a romantic / comedy. Much lighter and fun then NGE: Renaissance. As you can probably tell, this falls sometime well after the 12th Angel attack and never returns to the Eva timeline. I'm not going to mention if it is a Shinji / Asuka or a Shinji / Rei or Shinji / ??? fic. It is simply a story, if you like it read it, if not then don't. Rest assured that Rei, Touji, Hikari and most of the rest of the cast will appear, this is only the beginning. Feedback is always welcome, and be sure to visit darkscribes.org for other fics. I also plan to do an omake for each chapter, and here is the first one...  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************  
  
  
The room is dark, not a sliver of light compromises its emptiness. Suddenly one single beam of light emerges, seemingly from no where. Then a second, and a third. Within moments the 12 monoliths of SEELE are visible in the otherwise pitch black surroundings.  
  
  
SEELE 03: Why have we been summoned?  
  
  
SEELE 05: Yes, what is this emergency that requires the full participation of the committee.  
  
  
SEELE 06: We do not have time for these interruptions, we must discover some way to initiate Third Impact.  
  
  
The sound of bickering soon fills the hall, that is until Chairman Keel speaks.  
  
  
SEELE 01: Quiet everyone, Quiet...Thank you. The reason I have called everyone here is that SEELE 11 has made a formal request of the committee.  
  
  
SEELE 02: What is this request?  
  
  
SEELE 01: The removal of NERV Operations Director Katsuragi.  
  
  
SEELE 04: Why do you require the entire committee to fire her?  
  
  
SEELE 01: No, he requests Agent Rouji to make her removal...permanent.  
  
  
SEELE 05: Why should we risk Rouji's alliance on such a request?  
  
  
SEELE 01: SEELE 11 believes that Major Katsuragi has obtained certain classified documents involving our failed attempt at a Third Impact.  
  
  
SEELE 05: I see, is this true, SEELE 11?  
  
  
SEELE 11: WWAARRKK!!!!  
  
  
  
  



	2. Asuka Strikes Back

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:   
  
The Best Laid Plans   
  
Chapter Two "Asuka Strikes Back"   
  
by Ryoma   
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
"I don't know," Shinji whimpered. "Explain to me again how this is going to help you get revenge?"   
  
  
Asuka stopped in her tracks and swung her book bag around, striking her companion in the shoulder.   
  
  
"We've gone over this a hundred times now!" she exclaimed, her frustration obvious. Asuka watched as Shinji instinctively rubbed his upper arm though the blow wasn't too hard.   
  
  
"Urgh! Believe me this plan is perfect," she said as the corners of her mouth up turned into an evil grin. "Misato won't even know what hit her."   
  
  
The Second Child stepped forward and jabbed her finger into his chest.   
  
  
"Just follow the damn plan and let me worry about the details!"   
  
  
He could only manage a sheepish nod as they resumed their morning trek to school.   
  
  
"Good boy," she added sarcastically.   
  
  
They continued on in silence as both Children carefully reviewed the details of Asuka's plan in their minds. The morning sun was beginning its daily journey across the Tokyo-3 skyline, promising another gorgeous summer day. The pair was oblivious to the sounds of traffic and the hustle and bustle of city life as they worked their way through the maze of sidewalks that would eventually lead them to their final destination. School.   
  
  
"It's never going to work..." Shinji mumbled while turning to check the street crossing.   
  
  
"What did you say?" Asuka yelled as she followed him out into the crosswalk.   
  
  
Receiving no response from the retreating Unit 01 pilot she reached out and grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face her wrath.   
  
  
"What did you just say!"   
  
  
"Nothing."   
  
  
Asuka increased the pressure on his arm, her freshly manicured nails digging deep into his flesh and threatening at any moment to burst through the skin.   
  
  
"I'll only ask one more time...what did you say?"   
  
  
"I said 'it's never going to work,' that's all," he confessed.   
  
  
Asuka closed her eyes and lowered her head in anticipation of unleashing another diatribe against her reluctant co-conspirator. After all, she HAD explained why the plan would work at least ten times now. Even someone as dense as Shinji should have figured it out by now...   
  
  
Her concentration was broken by an incessant tugging as her captive struggled to free himself. Slowly opening her eyes she looked around and took in the sight of a line of cars on both sides of the crossing, drivers alternating between mashing their horns and yelling out insults to the two teens.   
  
  
"Blow it out your ass!" Asuka screamed to no one in particular.   
  
  
The driver in the front of the line seemed to take her comments to heart as he whipped his arm out the window, providing the Unit 02 pilot with his assessment of her piloting skill level.   
  
  
Of course that would have been an optimistic view as she knew the true meaning of pronouncing someone as number one with their middle finger.   
  
  
Asuka turned to face the man, her face ablaze in red and contorted in a very frightening manner. He quickly closed his window in fear as she gave her opinion of his driving skills. In a panic he clicked the door lock repeatedly during her dual single finger salute and fleeting question regarding the man's sexuality.   
  
  
Content that the foe had been vanquished, she turned to face Shinji. The anger on her face turned to shock as she found he had skillfully used the distraction to escape her clutches and was now standing on the far side of the street watching her every move.   
  
  
In a huff Asuka placed her hands on her hips and glared at him as the chorus of insults and honking horns continued. With a sigh she slowly completed her crossing, but not before providing the motoring public with a very loud vocal comparison between them and a certain orifice on the human body.   
  
  
Reaching Shinji she stepped on the sidewalk as the traffic roared by. She began pointing to her temple and smiling as he looked at her curiously.   
  
  
"Got that bastard's license plate right here," she said as the two continued on toward the school. "I'm going to find out where that son of a bitch lives and next Angel battle I'm going to drop my Unit 02's size four hundred right on that piece of shit car of his."   
  
  
Shinji gulped audibly as he realized that she was probably serious. During the battle with the Tenth Angel, the falling Angel, Asuka was able to successfully trample the houses of two classmates who had the misfortune of cutting her in the lunch line. The amazing fact was that the dwellings were a solid kilometer out of her assigned route and she still ended up only being a couple of seconds behind schedule.   
  
  
"Why are you so against my plan?" Asuka continued returning to the previous topic of discussion. "It's better than anything you came up with."   
  
  
Shinji looked up from inspecting the five deep fingernail crescents in his arm. "I never came up with a plan. I wanted to confront Misato but you insist on getting your precious revenge."   
  
  
"Well my honor has been damaged. If you were a REAL man you would stand up for me."   
  
  
"I am a real man," he grumbled.   
  
  
"You could have fooled me," she returned abruptly. Blinking rapidly while turning skyward, her tone lightening a bit. "Now Kaji...he's a real man."   
  
  
Shinji brought his hand up as he prepared to speak, then let it fall to his side as he sharply turned away and continued walking in the direction of the school.   
  
  
Asuka stood frozen as she watched him hurry away, his pained expression still fresh in her mind.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"Rise...bow...dismissed."   
  
  
As soon as the last syllable left Hikari Horaki's lips, Asuka sprang from her desk and sprinted over to Shinji's. Her unopened emails and his deliberate avoidance at lunch were fueling her anger as she pushed against the tide of outgoing students in the crowded aisle.   
  
  
Finally breaking free of the masses, she let out a groan upon observing him talking with the other 2 Stooges, Touji Suzahara and Kensuke Aida. Screwing up some courage along with her most foul expression, she dove into the heart of the testosterone filled trio.   
  
  
"Excuse me Mo, Larry...I need to speak with Curly here for a moment."   
  
  
Asuka began pushing Shinji away from the others when she felt him stiffen and hold his ground.   
  
  
"What?" he flatly questioned holding her stare for just a moment before turning away.   
  
  
"What's your problem?" she said.   
  
  
"Nothing."   
  
  
Any further attempts at conversation were sabotaged by an annoying prattle in her ears. Turning away from Shinji she faced the source of the irritation.   
  
  
"Would you two please shut the hell up!" she barked. Closing her eyes she tightened the grip on the Third's collar to ensure that escape was impossible.   
  
  
"I need to discuss some NERV related stuff with my colleague here," she added through a suddenly sweet smile. "You remember NERV don't you? The super secret agency that saves your sorry asses from the Angels. The same agency that's been known to make eavesdroppers disappear without a trace."   
  
  
Touji stepped forward and started shouting at the side of her face.   
  
  
"You don't scare me, you or NERV!" he yelled, spit falling dangerously close to her shoulder. "Besides," he said, his tone now calmer, "there's nothing you can tell Shinji that you can't tell his two closest friends."   
  
  
"Yeah," Kensuke added, but not before positioning his larger friend between himself and the girl he called The Devil.   
  
  
"Go away," she advised between clenched teeth. "Now!"   
  
  
The two stooges gazed at their helpless comrade. The hurting look in his eyes convinced Touji to make one last desperate stand.   
  
  
"No," he started in his most confident voice. "Why don't you go shove a bratwurst up..."   
  
  
Touji found himself unable to finish that ecchi thought as he crumpled over, his head and upper torso forced over as he was pulled roughly toward the floor.   
  
  
"TOUJI!"   
  
  
Gently easing his head up just a bit, his eyes following the arm attached to the hand that held a firm grasp of his ear. At the end of said appendage he noticed the glaring face of the class rep as she redoubled her efforts to forcibly remove that particular piece of loose skin.   
  
  
"OOUUCCCCHHHHHH!"   
  
  
"Touji," Hikari started in her most deliberate voice. "You weren't going to say anything disgusting to Miss Asuka, were you?"   
  
  
"No," came his weak reply.   
  
  
"That's what I thought," she said while releasing his now crimson and throbbing ear.   
  
  
Mercifully freed from the vise-like hold, Touji stood upright and began furiously rubbing the side of his head.   
  
  
"That really hurt you know."   
  
  
Hikari simply nodded and smiled.   
  
  
Defeated, he decided a tactical retreat was in order. With Hikari now present, Touji knew full well that it would be impossible to respond properly to Asuka's insults. With a reluctant sigh, he turned to Kensuke signaling the withdrawal.   
  
  
"Come on 'suke...let's leave the lovebirds alone."   
  
  
Under the watchful eyes of the class rep, Shinji's two friends sulked away but not before Kensuke was able to fire off one final volley.   
  
  
"They're probably deciding who's going to be on top tonight," he whispered loud enough for all to hear.   
  
  
A slight giggle escaped Hikari's lips before her hands shot up to her face to stop any further outbursts. Glancing over at the blushing Eva Pilots, she quickly turned away as another bout of laughter threatened to overwhelm her.   
  
  
"Come on you two," Hikari said as she ran up behind the boys, "you can help me clean up."   
  
  
Asuka watched as the three left the room, the unmistakable sound of Miss Horaki's laughter filling the air just as the classroom door slid shut.   
  
  
Turning back to Shinji, she started her previous line of questioning again.   
  
  
"What's the problem?"   
  
  
"I told you I don't have a problem," he muttered as he stared down at the floor.   
  
  
"Then why did you ignore me at lunch and not open any of my emails?"   
  
  
Shinji shrugged his shoulders and left it at that, still unable to meet her gaze.   
  
  
"Look," she said grabbing his arm and demanding his attention. "Are you going through with the plan or not? Quit the 'everybody feel sorry for me' act. I hate it when you do that."   
  
  
Gritting her teeth and balling her hands to fists, she continued. "I...need you," she said though the words were barely audible. "I can't do this alone."   
  
  
A few long moments of reflection and his facial expression seemed to lighten just a bit.   
  
  
"That's true...you need me."   
  
  
Asuka watched the easing tension between them and pressed her advantage. "I sure do," she nodded while releasing his arm.   
  
  
"So...can I count on you?" she asked with a hint of almost pleading in her tone.   
  
  
Shinji smiled and returned her nod. "You can count on me."   
  
  
His smile proved infectious as Asuka too found herself grinning like an idiot.   
  
  
"Good," she replied as they both turned and started walking toward the front of the room.   
  
  
Reaching the door, Asuka spun around and presented her book bag to Shinji.   
  
  
"Here."   
  
  
"What's this for?" came his puzzled reply.   
  
  
"It's part of my plan, that's what."   
  
  
Shinji thought for a moment while taking the tote from the redhead.   
  
  
"No it's not."   
  
  
Asuka quickly stepped through the now open doorway and turned to her prey, a sly smirk dominating her expression. "It is now!"   
  
  
She broke into a near sprint as Shinji was left standing stunned at her sudden departure.   
  
  
"Come on stupid," she called from the far end of the hall, "we're late for sync tests."   
  
  
He carefully slid the door shut and smiled as he thought about her playful behavior. It was nice to see her having fun and acting like a teenager for once in her life. The troubled girl he first met a year before was finally lowering her defenses just a bit and opening up.   
  
  
Snapping out of his trance, he quickly ran off after her.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
Shinji finished clearing off the table as all the while Asuka watched him intently. Tapping her fingers impatiently, she quickly glanced over to the clock on the wall and noted that exactly one minute had passed since her last inspection.   
  
  
Her tapping foot now matching her fingers in a futile attempt to burn off the excess energy she was generating, Asuka's head again rose up to check the time as the Third sat down at the other side of the table.   
  
  
"Misato's going to be home any minute," she said. Shinji nodded in agreement as she continued, "You know what to do, right?"   
  
  
"Yes," he groaned, "we've gone over this all day."   
  
  
"Just checking...I don't want you to blow it."   
  
  
"Don't worry about me," he replied in an irritated tone. "I'll be following YOUR lead."   
  
  
"Good," she responded through her fiendish grin. "Very good."   
  
  
Though her outward appearance exuded confidence, the rolling fingers and tapping feet conveyed just the opposite feeling to Shinji. Stealing a quick glance as she again checked the time, he could swear that she was shaking. This from a girl would dive into a battle with a fifty story Angel without thinking twice about it.   
  
  
"What?" she questioned upon catching him staring.   
  
  
"Ah...nothing," he stammered, quickly turning to observe the clock himself.   
  
  
"Shinji!"   
  
  
"Well...why are you so nervous? How do you even know that tonight will be the night?"   
  
  
Asuka had been expecting the second question ever since noticing Shinji's calm demeanor, completely unlike him given his upcoming role in her plan. The first question caught her by surprise but she chose to ignore it altogether rather then show him any signs of weakness.   
  
  
"Oh no, it starts tonight."   
  
  
She watched as her companion started to turn pale, the color leaving his skin right before her eyes.   
  
  
He gulped audibly to clear his now dry throat. "Are...are you sure?" he sputtered out, still hoping for a reprieve.   
  
  
"I guarantee it," she replied through her feral grin, satisfied that her fellow conspirator was now aware of how the night's events would unfold.   
  
  
Shinji sunk lower into his chair as the two stared at each other for a few moments, both coming to the realization that Asuka plan would soon be implemented... and there would be no turning back.   
  
  
Soon the sounds of two sets of rolling fingers and tapping feet filled the apartment. The door to Pen Pen's refrigerator slid open as he stuck his head out to find the source of the incessant rapping.   
  
  
Looking up at the two pale and shaking teenagers, he waddled over to his personal baseboard mounted thermostat. Twice banging it with his flipper he noted the temperature in the room appeared normal as he scratched his head in bewilderment.   
  
  
With a shrug he waddled into the bathroom and slammed the door behind himself.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"Hello?"   
  
  
The call came from the entranceway as the front door slid shut.   
  
  
Within moments a very disheveled looking Major walked into the kitchen and straight for the fridge. Not bothering to shut the door, she pulled out a Yebisu and drank it one long gulp.   
  
  
"Hi Misa..." Shinji began before Misato held her hand out indicating for him to stop as she started a second beer. He could only watch as her throat contracted and released in a desperate attempt to inhale the cherished alcoholic beverage.   
  
  
Throwing the empty can into the sink, she stood with her back to the Children, holding the counter for support.   
  
  
"Hi, Shinji."   
  
  
"Hello Misato," he returned with a cheery smile.   
  
  
"What, no greeting for me?" Asuka said sarcastically.   
  
  
Misato mumbled something to herself as an exasperated sigh left her lips.   
  
  
"Tough day at the office?"   
  
  
Their guardian gripped down hard on the countertop, her fingers desperately trying to rip out the linoleum and jam it down a certain annoying girl's trachea.   
  
  
"You could say that," Misato grumbled as she opened the refrigerator for another beer. "Of course you should know all about that, right Asuka?"   
  
  
"Why Misato, whatever are you talking about?" the Second Child innocently replied.   
  
  
"Don't give me that crap!" the violet haired older woman screamed, violently slamming her beer can on the table. "I don't know what kind of game you are playing, but it needs to stop NOW!"   
  
  
She ripped the can off the table and started to drink it again. Asuka eyed her guardian for a moment before she spoke.   
  
  
"Games? I'm not playing games." She watched as Misato's brow furrowed over the can in rage. "Oh, you must be talking about my sync rate. What happened? Did the dufus over there beat me again?"   
  
  
"Hey," came a meek cry from the other side of the table.   
  
  
"Yes the dufus beat your score."   
  
  
Misato slapped her head as he cried out again. "Sorry Shinji. Your partner over here is driving me crazy."   
  
  
Asuka's smug smile did nothing to reduce Misato's plight as she clenched and unclenched her fists, moving closer to face the source of her current problems.   
  
  
"Dammit Asuka, you blew those test scores on purpose...why?"   
  
  
"I'll admit that I didn't perform that great today, but I guess there's always next time." She ended her statement by crossing her arms on her chest as she smiled placidly up at the Major.   
  
  
The sound of imploding aluminum echoed through the kitchen as Misato pulled the empty can from her lips and threw the mangled container into the sink. Walking over she opened the refrigerator and knelt down, pretending to search for a full replacement while using the break in the action to devise a new strategy.   
  
  
"Ah, here we go," she exclaimed as she simultaneously turned and shut the door. "Well Asuka, a few more scores like today and you may find yourself behind Rei and the Prototype Unit."   
  
  
Misato smiled as she slowly lifted the tab on the Yebisu, letting the pressure gradually escape into the air. "Yup, looks like Rei will be taking point during the next attack."   
  
  
The older woman took a slip of the marvelous ale, enjoying the taste but all the time her eyes were glued on a certain Eva pilot who was trying her best to remain calm.   
  
  
"Please Misato...the only way Wondergirl could stop an Angel would be if it wrapped around her and she blew herself up. Not that I would complain."   
  
  
Normally the thought of Rei doing such a thing would frighten him, but given Asuka's tone and the shear ridiculousness of such an event occurring, even Shinji had to chuckle at her offhand comment.   
  
  
"Better still," she chortled, "imagine that doll saving my ass someday. Tell me more about your drunken fantasy land Misato."   
  
  
"Rei saving you, that's funny," Shinji snorted out through his laughter, "you would go absolutely insane."   
  
  
"And that ought to happen," Asuka snickered while pointing to the boy, "right after that moron stands up to his father."   
  
  
Both Children were soon laughing uncontrollably as images of these preposterous scenarios played in their heads.   
  
  
Misato held the can motionless against her lips, her eyes slowly switching from one Child to the other as the banter continued. Her reasons were obvious. First she really needed a drink, actually lots. Second and more important, she needed to hide her grin behind the aluminum shield.   
  
  
Rei blowing herself up, Asuka depending on Rei's help, Shinji standing up to his father. What was next, her shooting Kaji?   
  
  
"I got one, Asuka...M...Misato giving up drinking."   
  
  
Fighting hard she suppressed her laughter while loudly slamming her beverage container gavel down.   
  
  
"Enough!"   
  
  
Misato leaned over the table as she continued. "You wouldn't think it was so funny if you got your ass chewed out by Dr. Akagi and the Commander for over an hour," she bellowed turning her head back and forth to address each pilot equally as she spoke. She paused as her words broke the revelry, at least for Shinji. Asuka's blissful expression convinced Misato that she was still imagining scenes of Rei's self destruction.   
  
  
"Asuka!" she roared finally returning the girl from cloud nine. "This will not happen again."   
  
  
Standing up straight, Misato stepped back into the center of the kitchen, commanding the undivided attention of both charges. Crossing her arms on her chest she glared down at the two.   
  
  
"To this end you two will resume your previous training schedule, including..." she said as Shinji's groaning and Asuka's torrent of German profanities threatened to drown her out. "Including sync tests each and every day."   
  
  
Satisfied with her work Misato now tried to block out the vulgar comments directed at her by both occupants at the table. Rocking her can back and forth she wiggled out the last drop of beer as she turned to get another.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
The boisterous racket in the next room awoke Pen Pen from his bath. Grabbing a towel he slid open the bathroom door and with a quick check to the left, then to the right and back to the left again he waddled into the entrance to the kitchen.   
  
  
In front of him the redhead and the boy were standing and doing their best Angel alarm impressions as over to his right he noticed the unmistakable rump of his master shaking to and fro as she rummaged on her hands and knees though the refrigerator.   
  
  
Silently sliding the towel off his shoulder, Pen Pen began to twist it as he moved within range of the ultimate towel snap.   
  
  
"WARK!" he exclaimed as Misato stood up and patted him on the head.   
  
  
"Thanks, Pen Pen," she said while grabbing the towel and wiping her sweaty brow with it.   
  
  
"Think fast!"   
  
  
"WWAARRKKK!" the bird cried as the cloth snapped him in his tail feathers.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
The beer wasn't helping her pounding headache and neither was the pair of screaming Children. For a couple of kids they sure knew some nasty language, she mused to herself.   
  
  
She could go in the living room, but they would just follow her. She could leave, but after the day she had that would have required too much energy that she didn't have. Tonight she just wanted to sit back and relax with no surprises. That meant only one option remained.   
  
  
The Katsuragi Maneuver.   
  
  
"Asuka...Asuka...ASUKA!"   
  
  
Finally the Major got her attention over the din.   
  
  
"Asuka, why did you purposely lower your scores?"   
  
  
"I...didn't...lower my...scores," she panted, winded from her previous outbursts.   
  
  
"Are you sure? You can't hide the truth from me you know," Misato proclaimed confidently.   
  
  
"What?"   
  
  
"I know what you're doing."   
  
  
Asuka took a deep breath, worried that somehow despite her best efforts the Major discovered her plan before she even had a chance to implement it.   
  
  
"What am I doing?" she said, closing her eyes and awaiting a scolding from her superior.   
  
  
A wide smile grew on Misato's face as she instituted the Katsuragi Maneuver.   
  
  
"Why, you are letting your boyfriend over there win...it's kind of cute in a way but very unprofessional."   
  
  
This time the grin shifted to Asuka as she slowly opened her eyes, the bait having been taken.   
  
  
It was time to launch the Langley Counteroffensive.   
  
  
"Misato's on to us Shinji, " she said as she stood and silently walked past the stunned Operation's Director. She continued around the table finally stopping next to the trembling Shinji Ikari.   
  
  
"I guess there's no use trying to hide it anymore. She's too smart."   
  
  
Asuka jumped into Shinji's lap and threw her arms around his neck as she took one huge breath and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss.   
  
  
"OH MY G..."   
  
  
That was all Misato could manage to get out before the combination of shock and alcohol caused her to faint, her body hitting the floor with a resounding thud.   
  
  
The Eva Pilots broke the kiss and cautiously peered over the edge of the table at their fallen companion. Vigilantly they watched as Pen Pen approached the older woman with great care, poking at her head with his flipper.   
  
  
"Please tell me she's not dead," Shinji cried out in horror.   
  
  
"No, look she's still breathing."   
  
  
Shinji watched as Misato's body rose and fell in a steady rhythmic pattern indicating that life still coursed through her veins.   
  
  
"Neat and clean, just the way I like it," Asuka commented her face awash with contentment as she finally removed herself from his lap and stood.   
  
  
"You didn't really think she would faint, did you?" Shinji quizzed.   
  
  
"Actually this is more then I hoped for. I just figured she would rant and rave or something."   
  
  
"I have to admit it Asuka, your plan worked pretty well."   
  
  
"What are you stupid? Was there ever any doubt?"   
  
  
Inadvertently Shinji nodded his head slightly.   
  
  
"ARGH, Third Child! If I didn't need you in one piece..."   
  
  
He looked over at her and smiled. "Sorry."   
  
  
Asuka watched as he sat back into his chair, his gaze moving absently about the room. Deciding that indeed her initial strike had been an overwhelming success, she too settled back into her chair and observed her fellow accomplice. She couldn't help but notice the sharp contrast between his current appearance and the pained one earlier that morning.   
  
  
"What are you so happy about?" Asuka asked, her curiosity finally getting the better of her. "I thought you didn't approve of my plan?"   
  
  
"It's not that...it's just..."   
  
  
"Just what?"   
  
  
"Oh nothing."   
  
  
Asuka slammed her palms down on the table as she stood, glaring at her companion.   
  
  
"Dammit Shinji, don't you know that when you say 'nothing' in that tone of voice it practically DEMANDS that people pay attention to you?"   
  
  
"Well," he said as he turned away from her gaze. "You didn't brush your teeth."   
  
  
"Huh?" she replied, befuddled.   
  
  
"You remember last time we...well kissed," Shinji stammered through his blush.   
  
  
"This time was an act...you know for show. It wasn't serious or anything."   
  
  
"Oh," Shinji sighed, his smile now gone.   
  
  
Asuka eyed him curiously as he stared down at the floor below.   
  
  
"On the bright side you were much better this time then before."   
  
  
"This time I could breathe," he replied with a hint of a grin returning.   
  
  
"If you keep this up you'll have all the girls after you. You could be a regular Shinji the Casanova."   
  
  
"Do you really think so?" he asked excitedly.   
  
  
"I mean it wasn't up to the standards of someone like me and of course you are still a boy and have a lot to learn, but it was...acceptable."   
  
  
Shinji reviewed her words carefully. "Thanks...I guess."   
  
  
"Hey, how did you get so much better anyway?"   
  
  
Shinji blushed as memories of a few choice DVD's borrowed from Kensuke replayed in his mind.   
  
  
"I bet you and the doll have been practicing over in her apartment."   
  
  
"No!" came the panicked reply.   
  
  
"Sure you haven't. I see the way you look at her. You make those eyes at her all the time."   
  
  
"No, I don't and you know it."   
  
  
"So you don't like her?" Asuka pressed a hint of excitement in her tone.   
  
  
"I didn't say that. The fact is I like her a lot."   
  
  
It was Asuka's turn to frown. "I see," she said as she stared out into space.   
  
  
An uneasy silence filled the room as the two pilots eyes wandered about the room, taking in the vast intricacies of such items as the clock, the coffee maker, the floor pattern...everything but one another. Both Children fought hard to avoid being caught in the others gaze.   
  
  
"Ice cream."   
  
  
Those words from Asuka broke the edgy silence.   
  
  
"Ice cream?" Shinji hesitantly replied.   
  
  
"Yeah, ice cream. You can buy me some ice cream to celebrate my initial victory."   
  
  
Shinji leaned over the table to look at his still unconscious guardian.   
  
  
"What about Misato? Can we just leave her here like this?"   
  
  
"She'll be fine," Asuka replied, now also looking down at the fallen woman. "Do you want to be here when she wakes up?"   
  
  
Shinji thought for a moment. "No way," he said shaking his head for emphasis.   
  
  
"Good choice, now let's go before she wakes up. I hear two scoops of strawberry calling my name."   
  
  
They walked over to the apartment door and began putting on their shoes. Shinji turned pale as he dug through each of his pockets in a desperate search.   
  
  
"Um...Asuka?" he said meekly. "I don't have any money."   
  
  
Asuka finished tying her sneaker before standing and facing the boy who was still frantically exploring every pocket on the slim chance he might have missed something previously.   
  
  
"You really are useless. Tell you what, I'll loan you the money to buy me some ice cream, okay?"   
  
  
"Thanks Asuka," Shinji replied with a smile, not really understanding the ramifications of her statement.   
  
  
It was Asuka's turn to look ashen as she repeated Shinji's earlier search pattern.   
  
  
"Dammit!" she bellowed realizing the futility of her quest. "I really wish they would just give us one of those stupid NERV credit cards I keep reading about."   
  
  
"Come on Asuka, Misato told us there is no such thing as a NERV credit card. And besides, even NERV isn't crazy enough to put a credit card into the hands of a fifteen year old."   
  
  
"Yeah forget about the damage and Angel can do, image me with unlimited credit at the mall."   
  
  
"You would bankrupt NERV in a month," Shinji quipped.   
  
  
"Not funny Third Child," Asuka growled. "Can't your father do something about this?"   
  
  
He shook his head. "No, he said any money we earn goes into a trust fund that can't be touched until we are either eighteen or are dead in which case it goes to our next of kin."   
  
  
"Your father is jerk."   
  
  
Shinji nodded his approval.   
  
  
"So what are we going to do for money?" Asuka huffed.   
  
  
Her hands grabbed her hips, her foot tapping the ground in disgust. Shinji chose to stare at the floor, awaiting her inevitable outburst. Somehow this must be his fault.   
  
  
"I got it," she exclaimed, jolting him from his trance. "Go grab some of Misato's cash."   
  
  
"What?!" he shouted, surprised by her solution to their monetary dilemma. Playing jokes on Misato was one thing, but this was something entirely different. Petty larceny seemed so beneath her. "Isn't that stealing?"   
  
  
"What are you stupid? Of course it's not stealing."   
  
  
A puzzled stare was his only reply as he eagerly awaited an explanation.   
  
  
"It's simple," she said, "even a moron like you can figure it out."   
  
  
She looked at the Third Child to ensure his undivided attention. "NERV gives Misato extra money because she is our guardian, right?"   
  
  
The slight nod from Shinji allowed her to continue. "Well this makes some of her money, OUR money. So, it's not stealing if you go and take some of our money out of her purse."   
  
  
A triumphant smile was plastered on Asuka's face as she watched her companion stand in silent contemplation, sorting through the details of her supposition. Her theory had some very valid points, but he still felt uneasy about the whole idea.   
  
  
"If anything, SHE'S stealing from US," the Second offered to hammer her point home.   
  
  
Shinji relented. "Fine."   
  
  
Cautiously the pair tiptoed into the kitchen, a quick glance over the table assuring them Misato was still out.   
  
  
"Where did she put her pocket book?" Asuka whispered.   
  
  
Shinji pointed to a chair in the corner of the room. "Over there."   
  
  
Stealthily the pair rounded the table and approached the chair. Gazing down they were both taken aback as they observed the contents of Misato's purse being rummaged through by Pen Pen.   
  
  
Sensing their presence, the bird slowly turned and faced them, all the while carefully hiding a flipper full of cash behind his back.   
  
  
Pen Pen eyed the boy carefully as he bent down for the Children's share of the bounty. Grabbing a sufficient amount of funds, Shinji slowly stood and the three conscious members of the Katsuragi household engaged in a brief staring contest.   
  
  
The unspoken pact assured with mutual nods and winks, the three parted ways. Pen Pen returned to his bath while Shinji and Asuka walked out the front door of the apartment.   
  
  
"That was...strange," Asuka said as she snatched the cash from Shinji's hand.   
  
  
Her newfound wealth providing incentive, Asuka switched from her usual purposeful gait to an excited skip as Shinji struggled to keep up.   
  
  
"Hey Asuka can I ask you a question?" he inquired upon reaching the elevator door and pushing the button.   
  
  
"Sure," came her brief reply. She was busy staring at the ill-gotten gains, trying to determine the best way to destroy the evidence.   
  
  
"Why did you say we are celebrating your initial victory?"   
  
  
"I'm glad you asked Shinji." Asuka turned her gaze from the wad of money to her fellow pilot. "You see in a military campaign you have an initial strike and then the enemy will counterattack in an effort to regain the upper hand. The key to victory is repelling these counterattacks and advancing until victory is secured."   
  
  
"So you're saying this isn't over?"   
  
  
The elevator doors opened and Asuka stepped inside.   
  
  
"No. This is war, after all."   
  
  
The doors began to shut as Shinji jumped through the rapidly narrowing opening.   
  
  
"Don't you think you are taking this a bit too far?"   
  
  
"You're not thinking of backing out now, are you?" She shook her fist menacingly as she backed him into a corner. "Besides, YOU should be enjoying this. You get to kiss this vision of beauty, while I'm forced to lower my standards."   
  
  
The determined look on Asuka's face convinced him to reconsider. "Fine, I'll stick with your plan."   
  
  
"Good," she said as the elevator doors opened. "I knew you would see things my way."   
  
  
The two Children walked out of the apartment complex and into the crowded sidewalk.   
  
  
"I'm going to get a banana split," Shinji said as a vision of the perfect frozen dairy delight danced in his head.   
  
  
"About that, change of plans," she replied nonchalantly. "We're going to the mall instead."   
  
  
"The mall," he whined. "I don't think they have ice cream at the mall."   
  
  
"Of course not silly. I need to get a new dress and really show Misato up. I mean her fashion sense is only slightly better then yours."   
  
  
Shinji frowned as he stopped on the sidewalk, hands clenching and unclenching into tight-balled fists. The frown turned to an evil grin as the image of the banana split was replaced by his favorite vision.   
  
  
Asuka was startled by the glower and maniacal smirk on Shinji's face as he stared off into space. He seemed to strangle some invisible object, the bulging veins in his hands testament to the force with which he was attacking the unseen enemy. Absentmindedly she rubbed her own neck as an uneasy feeling came over her.   
  
  
"Come on stupid," she yelled back to the boy, "if your nice to me I'll let you buy me something at the mall."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...   
  
  
Next Chapter: "Collateral Damage"   
  
  
Well, this chapter went WAY longer then I anticipated. But now everyone can see what Asuka's plan is. Hopefully no one thinks this is too OOC, I tried very hard to keep everyone IC as best I can but dropping the serious tones. Remember in this story the Angels haven't been around for months so the tension and stress have declined greatly from the series. Rest assured that Rei will be making an appearance shortly and will provide some angst for coming chapters. It may have started as all Shinji and Asuka but never assume anything until the last word of the last chapter. It's been all Shinji and Asuka because that was the plan, now the plan's underway I can start to have some fun. Thanks to Random1377, 20eva and Rhine for prereading. And a special thanks to Daniel Snyder, the original Angry Young Paleontologist for providing me with a few ideas and some excellent commentary.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************   
  
  
*Ryoma planned to write an omake, but a guest writer has signed on for this chapter.   
Please welcome Hentai Ryoma !!!!   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Thank you...thank you. Now, without further delay, I present Hentai Ryoma's Chapter 2 Omake Theater. *curtain raises*   
  
  
Finally breaking free of the masses, she let out a groan upon observing him talking with the other 2 Stooges, Touji Suzahara and Kensuke Aida. Screwing up some courage along with her most foul expression, she dove into the heart of the testosterone filled triad.   
  
  
"Excuse me Mo, Larry...I need to speak with Curly here for a moment."   
  
  
Asuka began pushing Shinji away from the others when she felt him stiffen.   
  
  
Glancing down at her hand on his crotch, she slowly and deliberately pulled down on his fly, her soft hands working his zipper, anxious to feel his...   
  
  
*curtain falls*   
  
  
Ryoma: HEY !!!! What are you doing?   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: I'm writing the omake you idiot !!!   
  
  
Ryoma: This is rated PG13 you know. You can't write stuff like that.   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Fine...spoilsport. I will skip that scene...   
  
  
*curtain rises*   
  
  
"Enough!"   
  
  
Misato leaned over the table as she continued. "You wouldn't think it was so funny if you got your ass chewed out by Dr. Akagi and the Commander for over an hour," she bellowed turning her head back and forth to address each pilot individually as she spoke.   
  
  
"It all started when Ritsuko told me they needed a replacement observer because Maya was sick. When I got to the office they both started stripping off their clothes. The Commander told me it was a security measure to ensure that no one was wired. I figured it made sense so I took off my clothes too. So we go in the office and as soon as the door shuts, Ritsuko throws me roughly to the desk, holding me down as the Commander's hands..."   
  
  
*curtain falls*   
  
  
Ryoma: STOP !!! STOP !!! STOP !!!   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: What now?   
  
  
Ryoma: Your doing it again. Geez what's wrong with you?   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Nothing, what's wrong with you? I'll try again...   
  
  
*curtain rises*   
  
  
In front of him the red head and the boy were standing and doing their best Angel alarm impressions as over to his right he noticed the unmistakable rump of his master shaking to and fro as she rummaged on her hands and knees though the refrigerator.   
  
  
Silently sliding the towel off his shoulder, Pen Pen reached down...   
  
  
*curtain falls, much quicker then previously*   
  
  
Ryoma: Do NOT go there!   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: What? The penguin and the Major? Fine you prude...   
  
  
*curtain rises*   
  
  
"She's on to us Shinji, " she started while standing and silently walking past a stunned Operation's Director. She continued around the table finally stopping next to the trembling Shinji Ikari.   
  
  
"I guess there's no use trying to hide it anymore. She's too smart."   
  
  
With that said, Asuka ripped open her dress and jumped into Shinji's lap, throwing her arms around his neck as she watched him rapidly removing his clothes, anxious to consummate the plan fully. Asuka took one huge breath as she dove down on...   
  
  
*curtain falls with a crash*   
  
  
Ryoma: THAT'S IT !!! Get out of here, you hentai!   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Well that's my name, what did you expect? Plus, I don't want to leave and you can't make me.   
  
  
Ryoma: Fine stay if you want...but I heard Random1377 has a new lemon up on his site.   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Really?   
  
  
Ryoma: Yup.   
  
  
Hentai Ryoma: Sorry folks, I have to go...see again you real soon.   
  
  
Ryoma: Not if I can help it.


	3. Collateral Damage

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:   
  
  
The Best Laid Plans   
  
  
Chapter Three "Collateral Damage"   
  
  
by Ryoma   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
"Hey Asuka wait up!" Hikari called upon seeing her best friend walk through the crowded courtyard. The morning sun shone through a few scattered clouds overhead as all across the man made fortress city of Tokyo-3 children trudged into school.   
  
  
And Evangelion Children were no exception...   
  
  
"Hey Hikari. How are you this morning?"   
  
  
"No complaints I guess...Good morning Shinji," she said with a shy grin as she finally noticed Asuka's companion.   
  
  
"Good morning," the Unit 01 pilot returned with a slight nod.   
  
  
"Goodbye Shinji," Asuka interjected wiping the smile off his face.   
  
  
"Huh? What?" came his bewildered reply.   
  
  
"I said goodbye," she grumbled, placing her hands on her hips to demonstrate her impatience. "You know, girl talk...stuff like that." Convinced that despite her best efforts at diplomacy, Shinji was still missing the point, Asuka used a more direct approach.   
  
  
"Go!" she shouted while pushing him away.   
  
  
"Fine," he grumbled after taking a step back to steady himself.   
  
  
Stretching his neck in an effort to look over the crowd of students, he scanned left and right in a valiant search for his friends. Undaunted in his first attempt, he repeated his survey, making careful note of each face he spied, to ensure that he did not miss them.   
  
  
"SHINJI!" Asuka screamed causing the boy to jump. "They're probably over peeping at the swim team."   
  
  
A smile came over Shinji's face as he dove into the mob and took off in the direction of the pool.   
  
  
"Pervert," Asuka mumbled as she watched him disappear out the corner of her eye.   
  
  
"So...," Hikari started anxious to return to the conversation, "what's the story between you two anyway?"   
  
  
Asuka cocked her head a bit as she scowled at her friend. "Story?" she returned, her voice filled with annoyance.   
  
  
"Yes. Are you and Shinji going out?"   
  
  
Asuka's face went completely blank as she tried to respond, however Hikari didn't give her the opportunity. One thing the brown haired girl knew from the many months they had spent together, if you wanted to say something to the Second Child, you needed to speak when the chance presented itself, regardless of proper etiquette.   
  
  
"Because if you are going out it would be so great. I mean two Eva pilots falling in love and becoming a couple. It's the kind of stuff you read about in those cheesy love stories everyone loves."   
  
  
Hikari paused to catch her breath as Asuka raised her hands in silent denial of her friend's question. After all, they were definitely NOT going out.   
  
  
"Hika..." was all Asuka could get out before again the class rep spoke over her, determined to finish saying her peace.   
  
  
"Of course if you were going out you two would instantly jump to the top of the class couple list, knocking off Yurika and her little boy toy Akito."   
  
  
Asuka shook her head, hoping somehow to stop Hikari from further embarrassing herself. Though the thought of moving to the top of the class couple list presented more then a passing interest.   
  
  
"Plus Shinji's cute and all the girls want him," the class rep rambled on. "After all he is famous for fighting the Angels and he's..."   
  
  
This comment seemed to pique her interest even more then the couple statement as Asuka decided at last to assert some authority over her friend.   
  
  
"Wait...wait...WAIT A MINUTE!" she screamed finally ceasing the class rep's monologue. "What do you mean all the girls want him?"   
  
  
"I thought you knew," Hikari said after catching her breath. She turned to face her friend. "A lot of the girls in class have asked me about him. Asking if you two were going out. What kind of guy he is. Stuff like that."   
  
  
"Girls in our class were asking about Shinji? Shinji Ikari? The same moron who I have been stuck living with for the past year?"   
  
  
Hikari frowned as she heard Asuka's words. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I saw you two at the mall last night and just assumed..."   
  
  
"Assumed what?"   
  
  
Touji's deep voice carried over the din around them as he approached. "Assumed what?" he reiterated, "that the devil here has a heart. No way."   
  
  
Asuka turned and leered at the boy. "Look Hikari the lower half of the Bell curve is here. I hope we have a quiz."   
  
  
Hikari instinctively stepped between the two glaring teenagers, assuming her usual role as peacekeeper.   
  
  
"Now Touji, Asuka and I were having a private conversation and you shouldn't have interrupted." The tone in her voice undermined her words as she blinked adoringly at the track-suited boy.   
  
  
"I'm sorry," he apologized, soliciting a blush from Hikari's cheeks before he turned to face his mortal enemy. "But you know how she brings out the worst in me."   
  
  
"I bring out the worst in you?" Asuka screamed raising her personal AT field. "YOU bring out the worst in me. You and your moronic friends."   
  
  
"Hey," Touji said as he inched closer, Asuka mirroring his movement. Hikari found herself the meat in a Sohryu and Suzahara sandwich.   
  
  
"You take that back!"   
  
  
"You're right, I take that back." Asuka said narrowing her eyes, a smug grin now on her face. "You and your friends are morons AND perverted."   
  
  
"ENOUGH!" Hikari bellowed, showing surprising strength for a girl her size as she pushed the two apart. "Both of you stop it."   
  
  
The combatants each grumbled and turned away leaving Hikari alone in the center. "Good, you two need to get along."   
  
  
"Who needs to get along?" Kensuke said as he arrived on the scene, his peddling of pictures finished for the day.   
  
  
Touji felt bolstered by the arrival of reinforcements and acted accordingly. "She's is talking about me and the red haired bitc..."   
  
  
"TOUJI!" Hikari screamed as Asuka balled up her fist and glared at him over her shoulder.   
  
  
"Oh, she's talking about you and the bitch," Kensuke said nonchalantly as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.   
  
  
"That's it," Asuka said as she pushed into Hikari, appearing desperate to fight through her restraints and battle the two Stooges.   
  
  
As she feigned a struggle with Hikari, Asuka used this opportunity to carefully assess the situation. One on one, she could beat either of the boys. Combined they might prove to be a difficult task, but given her current state of rage she deemed that an acceptable risk.   
  
  
However just before she pressed forward with her standard bull rush attack, she noticed the unmistakable images of the two girls she exacted revenge upon with her Eva. Their scowls and clenched fists conveyed the feeling that didn't appreciate the remodeling that Asuka had done for them. Well, not so much remodeling as demolition...   
  
  
The distinct possibility of four on one convinced the Second Child that for now at least, the only battle to be fought was the war of words. Although Touji and Kensuke were dorks, at least she could count on them to keep their mouths shut, but these other girls were an unknown. They could report her to the principal if she beat them in a fight and Misato had warned her about getting into trouble at school. Given the current state of war between herself and her guardian, Asuka knew she could ill afford giving Misato any reason to punish her. And another fight would sure provide a good reason.   
  
  
"Sorry Hikari," Asuka grumbled still trying to cope with the ideas of both apologizing and retreating. "I shouldn't stoop to their level of idiocy," she said while stepping back.   
  
  
Touji and Kensuke glanced at one another and nodded. Asuka's withdrawal from the physical confrontation buoyed their hopes as they silently agreed to press the attack.   
  
  
"Just as I thought, you're not so tough when you're not sitting inside old big red and gruesome," Kensuke commented as he looked away in mock disgust.   
  
  
"Yeah, and what's with red anyway? It's WAY overrated as a color," Touji chimed in taking his partner's cue. "Blue is where it's at."   
  
  
Asuka could only manage a couple of German profanities in response, a weak return and she knew it. Bad enough she had to back down from these morons, but now they were picking on her Unit 02...and that just wasn't fair.   
  
  
"What's with the four eyes anyway? If you can't see Asuka, be like me and get some freaking glasses," Kensuke quipped.   
  
  
The laughter at her expense was becoming unbearable, but a quick check confirmed the two homeless girls were still there, and still looking quite perturbed.   
  
  
"Imagine, glasses on an Eva," Touji snorted, "Oh please Mister Angel, don't chop off my head...I'm wearing glasses."   
  
  
Asuka looked beaten, that was evident as she lowered her head, abhorring the fact she could do nothing. She was helpless and the two circled her like vultures as they continued to launch barrage after barrage into her, each insult piercing her ego like a Lance as her internal clock read 0:00:00.   
  
  
"And while we're at it, stop bothering Shinji all the time."   
  
  
Given the overwhelming success that was to forever be known as the Stooge Offensive, Touji decided to include the missing one in the victory. After all he deserved to enjoy the rewards of a conquered Asuka as well.   
  
  
"What about Shinji?" Asuka meekly replied, never raising her head to betray her look of excitement. Perhaps the Third could again prove useful.   
  
  
"You heard me! Shinji doesn't like the way you treat him. You are always mean to him, picking on him. So why don't you do us all a favor and go back to Russia!"   
  
  
Kensuke shook his head as he whispered something in Touji's ear.   
  
  
"I mean Germany!"   
  
  
Normally Asuka would have jumped on this transgression in a furor, but given her precarious situation, she held her tongue. After all she was devising a far bigger scheme to punish those two.   
  
  
"And Shinji told you this," she said with just the hint of pain in her voice.   
  
  
Kensuke and Touji nodded their heads in agreement, looking like a pair of bobbin head dolls.   
  
  
"I never knew he felt this way," she said as she turned away from the grinning duo. "Maybe you two are right."   
  
  
After a few moments, Asuka finally turned to face them again, her eyes filled with sadness.   
  
  
"Fine, if that's how he feels...well...I'll...I'll leave."   
  
  
A stunned silence fell over the three as it appeared that Touji's greatest wish had come true. Asuka was going to leave Tokyo-3 and his life forever. Kensuke only smiled, his greatest wish involved certain members of Sailor Moon coming to live in his room, but he was none the less quite happy about this turn of events. Hikari was about to implore her to reconsider when Asuka continued.   
  
  
"Of course he has to ask me himself. I don't trust either of you dorks."   
  
  
"You're telling us that if Shinji asks you to go, you will?"   
  
  
Asuka simply nodded and smiled.   
  
  
"Where is he?" Moe and Larry spoke as one. If they hurried perhaps she could be gone by the end of the day.   
  
  
"I think he's over there," Asuka replied as she pointed in the general direction of the pool.   
  
  
With the subtly of a snowplow, Touji parted the sea of humanity as the others followed in his wake.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"Yo Shinji," Touji called out as he spotted the Third Child leaning on the fence watching activity in the pool beyond.   
  
  
"Hello," came Shinji's brief reply as he quickly looked over his shoulder to acknowledge his friend's arrival before again returning his gaze to the swimmers.   
  
  
"Shinji today is your lucky day," Touji boasted. "Today the source of all your pain and suffering will be sent packing."   
  
  
Seriously doubting that his father was leaving NERV or allowing him to leave, Shinji turned and faced the eldest Suzahara child.   
  
  
"What are you talking about?"   
  
  
"One word from you and shinzel puss over there will be gone."   
  
  
"Shinzel puss?!?!"   
  
  
Shinji watched as Asuka stepped out from behind his friend. "Yeah, the old red haired bitch...," Touji started before Asuka flashed the V sign and jammed her fingers into the boy's eyes causing him to crash face first into the chain link fence.   
  
  
"Ahhh," he screamed as Kensuke rushed to his aid. "I'm blind."   
  
  
"Just what are you looking at?" Asuka asked as she stepped over the fallen Suzahara and strained to see what captured Shinji's interest.   
  
  
Shinji tried desperately to block the Second's view as he carefully leaned his body to the left and right, mirroring her every move.   
  
  
The stalemate was short lived however, as Asuka succeeded in faking him out allowing her to assume his vantage point as he fell back against the fence and sighed at his own futility in stopping her.   
  
  
"Figures," she grumbled, "checking out the girls' swim team. Pervert."   
  
  
A nervous smile formed on Shinji's face as he jumped up off the fence. "Yes, that's right. I was checking out the swim team. Come on let's go." He reached out and grabbed at her hand in an effort to pull her away.   
  
  
"Wait a minute," Asuka growled as she ripped her hand free from his grip, carefully avoiding his subsequent attempts to recapture it. "What's the hurry?"   
  
  
She turned back to the pool and searched for the source of Shinji's anxiety. As much as she liked to vocalize it, she knew too well that he was no pervert. No, there had to be another reason for his actions.   
  
  
That reason literally surfaced before her eyes as Rei Ayanami came up for air, flinging her familiar blue mop of hair out of her crimson eyes. Blue eyes tracked the pale girl as she dove back into the water, noticing how the target cut through the pool like an azure torpedo.   
  
  
"Wondergirl," Asuka muttered through gnashing teeth, noting how her rival easily outpaced the other swimmers.   
  
  
"Hey isn't that Rei?" Hikari offered as she caught sight of the object of Asuka's death stare.   
  
  
"Y...yes," Shinji stammered, stepping over to stand next to the Class Rep.   
  
  
"Since when did SHE join the swim team?" Asuka hissed.   
  
  
Shinji hesitated before responding. Determining that Hikari provided an acceptable buffer between him and the soon to be irate German he spoke.   
  
  
"Last week."   
  
  
He regretted his decision as Asuka's burning glare soon bore down on him. With a deep swallow he tried to soothe his now dry throat.   
  
  
"I...I told her to try out for the team and she...she...sort of made it."   
  
  
"Now why would you go off and do something stupid like that?" Asuka protested.   
  
  
"Well," he began, lowering his head as he was unable to hold Asuka's scowl any longer. "With the Angel attacks possibly finished and the training schedule reduced..." Shinji thought for a moment and then fired off his own glower, "for SOME of us."   
  
  
He watched her flinch, the realization sinking in of exactly who caused the discrepancy. Satisfied that his point had been made, he continued.   
  
  
"She was feeling lost without Eva, so I suggested doing something to help pass the time. Since she enjoyed swimming so much, it seemed like a natural choice."   
  
  
Hikari glanced over to Asuka, who looked to be in a state of shock.   
  
  
Shinji forged ahead, taking advantage of the unexpected silence. "Her coach has already named her the number one swimmer on the team. I wish she talked with teammates more, I mean she still keeps mostly to herself, but at least she is trying."   
  
  
The confusion in Asuka was soon replaced by a growing anger as she listened to him gush about her rival pilot. She fought desperately to understand her feelings as she watched the ashen girl climb out of the pool and begin to towel off. Her thoughts were broken as the watch on her hand began to beep incessantly. Time enough later to figure all these developments out, she had a job to finish.   
  
  
"Stooge One, Stooge Two! Get over here," she shouted, startling the two out of their skimpy swimsuit induced trances. "Don't you want to hear this?"   
  
  
Touji nodded and grabbed Kensuke's arm, holding him in place as he whispered into the smaller boy's ear.   
  
  
"We need to remember to come here every morning."   
  
  
Kensuke nodded as he was already finished entering the reminder into his ever present Palm 2600X. "Way ahead of you," he said as he took one last glimpse of heaven as the last of the girls entered the locker room.   
  
  
With a heartfelt sigh he slowly turned around, jumping back as he noticed that everyone was watching him. The disgusted looks he was receiving convinced him to change the subject...quickly.   
  
  
"Ok devil," Touji said, remembering the true purpose of the excursion to find Shinji. "You may begin."   
  
  
Kensuke held up his finger signaling her to wait as he fumbled with the Palm before dropping his finger and holding the device up to her chin.   
  
  
"Remember this is being taped so you can't deny it later."   
  
  
Asuka took a moment to glance down at her watch as she stepped forward to face Shinji.   
  
  
"Your friends over there said that you don't want me around anymore. You want me to leave. Is that true?"   
  
  
She reached out and took his hands into hers', moving quickly before Shinji had a chance to react.   
  
  
"You don't want me to leave, do you?"   
  
  
Shinji glanced down at their interlocked hands and slowly raised his gaze to take in her facial expression. He was shaking like a leaf, but she appeared so helpless and pleading, he found himself unable to look away as he became lost those sky blue eyes.   
  
  
Touji sensed a bit of dirty play at hand as he cleared his throat loudly, first once, then twice. Unsuccessful at breaking the siren's spell, he resorted to brute force as he pushed Shinji's shoulder.   
  
  
"Hello? Tell her to hit the road already will ya."   
  
  
Shinji finally broke free of her gaze and blushed as he stared intently at his shoes, afraid he would be drawn in again if those eyes caught him. There he stood in bewilderment as he tried to figure out exactly what the hell was going on.   
  
  
Asuka glared at the track-suited moron before she continued.   
  
  
"Shinji please explain to them that you would never send me away. After all I am your girlfriend."   
  
  
"GIRLFRIEND?!?!?" Touji, Kensuke and Hikari shouted in unison.   
  
  
"Yes, his girlfriend," Asuka replied smugly as she continued her grip on his hands.   
  
  
An eerie silence settled over the five as everyone awaited his response. For his part Shinji was still reviewing exactly what Asuka had just said. After all, what he thought he heard couldn't possibly be what he heard.   
  
  
"But Asuka...you're not my gi..."   
  
  
His words were halted as she placed a lone finger to his lips.   
  
  
"Shhh," Asuka whispered. "Don't worry about it. I know we were going to keep it a secret, but these people are our friends."   
  
  
Shinji's eyes moved from Asuka's smiling face to focus on the index finger which was still on his mouth. As he struggled to speak, he realized that she was pressing quite hard against him, the finger acting as a deadbolt to ensure his cooperation.   
  
  
Asuka felt Shinji start to struggle as she continued to apply pressure. "It's alright," she said as her smile was replaced with a frown. "There's no need to get all upset, they were bound to find out sooner or later."   
  
  
She took her eyes off him for a moment to glance at her watch which was conveniently located on the same arm which was currently holding the boy in place. "Come on..." she muttered as she noted the time, "it should have rang already."   
  
  
Her gaze quickly returned to Shinji as his movements were becoming more desperate to free himself. Finally his violent maneuvering paid off as he broke free.   
  
  
"But...I'm...not..." Shinji began before Asuka was able to stop him again, this time electing to place her entire hand over his mouth.   
  
  
"Shinji," she said as she worked her way behind him, seeking to gain the necessary leverage to firmly hold him in place. Satisfied that he was trapped, she turned and whispered into his ear, "relax, Shinji dear, you shouldn't get so worked up."   
  
  
Asuka turned to the stunned trio. "You will have to excuse Shinji, he's a little upset that I told our little secret." A wry grin grew on her face as she focused directly on Touji and Kensuke. "He knew how much this would upset you two, that's why he tried to keep it a secret."   
  
  
Shinji screamed helplessly into Asuka's hand, his words of denial being absorbed and converted into meaningless mumbles. Soon he was forced to give up, his oxygen supply rapidly depleting as she continued her grip.   
  
  
The three other children could only stand and watch in awe as Asuka continued to smile and Shinji began to turn blue. Suddenly the bell rang in the background, calling the students in for another day of education. Taking her cue, Asuka began pulling the dazed and confused pilot backwards toward the school, still holding her hand tightly over his mouth.   
  
  
"Come on darling," she said, distinctly struggling with the last word. "We don't want to be late for class."   
  
  
Hikari, Touji and Kensuke watched as Asuka dragged the now limp Shinji towards the school before each looked at one another in shock and started off running after the retreating couple.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
Asuka quickly took her seat after depositing the still unresponsive Shinji in his. Quickly opening her laptop, she glanced over the monitor to catch the arrival of the Stooges and the class representative. All were looking quite pale and disheveled as Touji and Kensuke reluctantly made their way to their seats, leaving the dumbfounded Hikari standing in front of the class.   
  
  
"Ehem," the elderly sensei cleared his throat in an effort to solicit some response from his class representative.   
  
  
"Sorry sensei...," Hikari began all the while staring at her best friend. "Um...sit...bow...rise. I mean rise...sit...bow. I mean..."   
  
  
The entire room with the exception of six students erupted in laughter as the deep crimson blush on her face signaled that she also realized her mistake.   
  
  
"Thank you Miss Horaki," the sensei said as Hikari stumbled into her seat. "Today we will be discussing the Second Impact and it's effects on the global markets."   
  
  
A collective groan permeated the room as the teacher began drawing supply and demand curves on the board.   
  
  
Shinji sunk down in his chair as he struggled to understand the events of the morning. He couldn't figure out what his roommate was up to, but he had the distinct feeling that they weren't going out. At least not in the traditional sense.   
  
  
Then again, nothing Asuka ever did was traditional.   
  
  
He opened his laptop and logged in. Though he rarely paid much attention to the lectures, he at least looked like he was interested. As the mail program started Shinji groaned as his Inbox had twenty five, now twenty six, then twenty seven new messages. He watched as the counter increased by one, each increment corresponding to the audible click of Kensuke's or Touji's ENTER button. The sheer volume of email should have required all morning for Shinji to read them, but he knew he would only have to read one. After all, they all had the same subject line...   
  
  
'You Traitor!'   
  
  
---------   
  
  
Finally finished with deleting all the messages from his computer, except one, Shinji glanced over his laptop at its originator. The Second Child continued to type away, seeming to take diligent notes as the sensei droned along in the background. Deciding that she was not going to acknowledge his stare, he glimpsed back down at that lone remaining message as it read on his screen like an epitaph.   
  
  
'Do nothing, say nothing until I explain. Even an idiot like you should be capable of following these simple instructions.'   
  
  
Shinji thought for a moment, visions of that mornings' events still fresh in his mind. He didn't know what Asuka was up to but he also knew he needed to get word to his friends that they weren't going out. He thought about her warning as he typed a brief message explaining in no uncertain terms that he and Asuka were not a couple. Satisfied with the content he stole a quick glimpse at the Second Child. She was intently watching her display, perhaps engaged in an online chat with Hikari.   
  
  
Hesitating for a moment as his finger hung over the ENTER button, he deliberated sending the disclosure and the possible repercussions dealt out by Asuka. More than a few heartbeats later, a dull 'click' registered in his ears as he pressed the button.   
  
  
Asuka would be upset but she brought this on herself. She obviously had some master plan in mind, but this time she was on her own. After all, these were his best friends and they needed to know the truth. He and Asuka were not going out. At least he thought they weren't going out. They were PRETENDING to be going out, but that was only for Misato's benefit, wasn't it? Everything was starting to make less and less sense as the first reply email arrived to his Inbox.   
  
  
A smile formed on his face as he maneuvered the cursor to open the message. Probably from Kensuke, he pondered, after all he typed faster then Touji.   
  
  
Double clicking the communication, Shinji's eyes naturally gravitated to the portion of the screen that would momentarily display the words of praise and encouragement from his friend for heading off another plot from the 'red menace'.   
  
  
His smile faded as his eyes scanned back and forth reading and rereading the message. The look of fear on his face was becoming evident as he stole another peek at Asuka, she still typing away. Though her back was to him, he knew she was smiling as he lowered his head and returned to the lone message on his screen.   
  
  
'I knew you were too stupid to follow instructions so I took the precaution of diverting all your email to my computer. That dork Aida isn't the only one who knows how to reconfigure the LAN system.'   
  
  
Shinji sighed and clicked on the DELETE button, anxious to remove her mocking edict. Yet the message didn't disappear, rather it duplicated. Clicking furiously he soon filled his entire display before he finally gave up. His only method of electronic communication cut off, he started the word processing program determined to print out the message and have it hand delivered in the event that Asuka's wrath proved to be fatal.   
  
  
Clenching his hands into fists he pounded them into the keyboard, producing an unintelligible collection of letters and numbers. It seems that not only had she intercepted his mail, but she had also reconfigured his computer to only type in German, and in a bright red font.   
  
  
Shinji could swear he heard her familiar chuckle, but he didn't bother to look up. He was too busy watching the little movie she had uploaded to his system. He felt himself cringe as the Third Angel drove its pile driver into Unit 01's head, cracking the armor and sending it flying backwards.   
  
  
Glancing back over his shoulder, he hoped that one or both might be looking in his direction. If he could get their attention, he could whisper the message. Asuka's genius could do nothing to stop such a low-tech form of communication. Waving his hands and fidgeting in his chair, Shinji tried every known method of attracting attention. Yet Touji and Kensuke just sat staring into their respective monitors, oblivious to any outside stimulation.   
  
  
Deciding the task was hopeless, Shinji turned around just in time to watch as the Fifth Angel's particle beam blasted a huge chunk out of Unit 01's chest plate. He groaned and laid his head down onto his crossed hands and shut his eyes in defeat.   
  
  
The red haired girl in the front of the class missed his surrender as she busily typed commands into her laptop. With a click she smiled as she sent off another file.   
  
  
'Misato in the shower, file #2'   
  
  
---------   
  
  
The entire class turned and watched as Asuka enthusiastically extended the antenna on her cell phone. They collectively held their breath as everyone had been through this experience before. A NERV cell phone ringing in class meant only one thing, Angel attack.   
  
  
"Hello," Asuka said after silencing the constant ringing with the press of a button. "Yes Misato...I understand. Right away." She shifted the phone to her other ear and held it in place with her shoulder as she gathered up her belongings with her now free hands.   
  
  
"Grab Shinji and get right over. I understand...we are on the way."   
  
  
She pressed the END button and looked up to see everyone's panic stricken eyes staring at her every move. Standing up she turned and called to her fellow pilot.   
  
  
"Come on Shinji, we have to go."   
  
  
A look of fear swept across his face. "I...is it an Angel?"   
  
  
Asuka cocked her head and looked at him quizzically, watching him tremble as a mixture of fear and adrenaline fueled his movement. A long pause followed as he and the rest of the class hung on her every action, awaiting those dreaded words.   
  
  
"Oh," Asuka gasped as she finally registered the need to reply. "Yes it's an Angel attack. Now let's go."   
  
  
Not content to wait for him, she sprang up and marched over to his desk, yanking him up in one fluid motion.   
  
  
"Would you please hurry...fate of the world and all that stuff," Asuka huffed as she violently pulled him down the aisle by his hand.   
  
  
Reaching the front of the class she started to turn toward the door when she caught something unexpected out of the corner of her eye. The visage of Rei Ayanami was standing at her desk and collecting her belongings.   
  
  
"That's okay Wondergirl, Misato only needs me and Shinji. You stay here."   
  
  
Rei gazed over at the girl and blinked. "I have been given orders in the event of an Angel attack," she said softly. "My place is with Eva."   
  
  
"You would think so, but Misato told me to tell you to stay here." Asuka watched as Rei continued her preparations to leave. "She said she didn't need any decoys or human shields but if she did, she knew who to call."   
  
  
Kensuke let out a short chuckle as Rei continued undaunted. She finally looked up and caught sight of the obviously shaken Shinji as Asuka resumed her tugging on his arm attempting to get him out the door.   
  
  
Rei stared into the frightened boy's eyes. "I will go with you."   
  
  
Asuka turned a bit pale as the First Child walked up behind them, intent on following the Second and Third out the door.   
  
  
She stopped pulling on Shinji and turned to face her rival. "Rei," she reluctantly said, finding the word difficult to pronounce. "Misato thinks it's the Seventh Angel again. She doesn't want you there, she only needs Shinji and I because of our sync training."   
  
  
"No, not the Seventh again," Shinji wailed. "I don't remember the moves, I don't remember what to do!"   
  
  
Asuka ignored his insane ramblings as she slid the class door open. "See, you're not needed," she reiterated and turned to Rei with a smile. "Of course if you want to disobey a direct order from Commander Ikari, don't accuse me of not warning you."   
  
  
Pushing Shinji through the doorway Asuka followed as Rei stood in silent contemplation, her only movement the turning of her head as she strained for one last glimpse of the boy as Asuka quickly slid the door shut behind her.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
Running down the hallway Asuka pulled Shinji out the front door and into the courtyard without uttering a word. Confident that they were now far enough away from the classroom, she finally stopped and hunched over to catch her breath.   
  
  
"Backflip, backflip, jump, turn, kick...or is it backflip, kick, backflip, turn?"   
  
  
"Idiot, what the hell are you talking about?"   
  
  
Standing again she watched as Shinji moved about the area, sliding and kicking about like an actor in a cheap kung fu movie.   
  
  
"Jump, kick, dodge, turn, spin," he mumbled as his body acted out each movement.   
  
  
The corners of her mouth upturned as she watched him prance around in mock battle. It was all she could do not to burst out in laughter.   
  
  
"What are you, stupid?"   
  
  
Shinji opened his eyes and ran over to her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her violently.   
  
  
"How can you be so calm? Don't you understand? I forgot the moves. I can't remember what to do! Please Asuka you have to help me...PLEASE!"   
  
  
The color left his face as he started to tremble again facing the distinct possibility he had seen his last sunrise.   
  
  
Asuka thought about letting him suffer a little longer for his early transgression with Rei at the pool but since his participation was integral to her plans, she decided to tell him the truth.   
  
  
"Moron you can relax. There's no Angel attack. I made it up."   
  
  
Slowly her words sunk in and his appearance changed from one of fear to one of rage.   
  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled throwing his arms up in desperation. "You scared me half to death, never mind panicking the entire class."   
  
  
Asuka crossed her arms and turned away at his outburst. "It's your fault."   
  
  
"My fault?" he screamed, "how's this my fault?"   
  
  
She spun around and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You couldn't keep your big mouth shut, that's why."   
  
  
"What are you talking about?" he said his tone much calmer then his previous outbursts.   
  
  
"I specifically told you not to say anything to those idiot friends of yours until I had a chance to explain. YOU can't follow simple instructions so I had to fake the Angel attack."   
  
  
"This was so you could talk to me about this morning?"   
  
  
Asuka nodded as Shinji continued. "I guess it's too late now. What is going on?"   
  
  
"I want you to go out with me."   
  
  
Again Shinji turned pale and began to tremble although no Angel alarms could be heard. "G...go out with you?" he stammered.   
  
  
"Yes. Go out with me."   
  
  
She paused and waited for any response from the boy. For the next few moments she received nothing other then a petrified stare.   
  
  
"Not for real of course...just so I can teach your imbecile friends not to mess with me."   
  
  
Shinji reviewed her words as he broke from the trance that her initial question threw him into.   
  
  
"I won't do it," he objected. "I'm not going to PRETEND to go out with you."   
  
  
"Why not?" she asked incredulously.   
  
  
"Why not?!?! I can't believe you have to even ask. These are my FRIENDS we are talking about, the only ones I ever had. This isn't like the game you are playing with Misato. I can't do this. What if they never speak to me again?"   
  
  
A sly grin appeared on Asuka's face as she realized that was yet another potential benefit. Now she HAD to get Shinji to go along with the plan.   
  
  
"Those idiots will forgive you," she said, "think of this as the ultimate practical joke."   
  
  
Shinji shook his head. "No, I'm not going to take that chance. What's in it for me? What benefit can your stupid plan have other then upsetting my friends?"   
  
  
"There's plenty in it for you."   
  
  
"Like what?"   
  
  
"You can put those two morons in their place," she bellowed.   
  
  
"No," he replied while shaking his head quickly. "I like Touji and Kensuke. Try again."   
  
  
Asuka desperately searched for an answer. After a minute Shinji turned and began walking back towards the school. Reluctantly she called out the response that she had hoped to avoid.   
  
  
"Well, it will help you with the girls."   
  
  
That last word seemed to pique his interest as he stopped in his tracks.   
  
  
"What?" Shinji said, turning around. "How is this supposed to help me with girls?"   
  
  
"Easy, most girls wouldn't give you the time of day, I mean you are a dork and all. Trust me on this, a lot of them have told me what a loser you are and how they wouldn't be caught dead with you. But once they see you are going out with me, they'll start to take notice of you. Girls will become attracted to guys they wouldn't think twice about because they figure there has to be something about them to make them worthy of boyfriend material. Soon they are fighting for the privilege of being your next girlfriend. Do you see my point?"   
  
  
Shinji thought for a moment before responding. "So you're telling me that the easiest way to get a girl to take an interest in me is to go out with someone else?"   
  
  
Asuka nodded and silently prayed that he understood the convoluted principles of adolescent relationships. Not that she understood them either, but she HAD to know more then him.   
  
  
"I guess it makes sense," he said while scratching his head and eliciting a sigh of relief from the redhead.   
  
  
"I'll do it," he proclaimed after some thought, "but you have to agree to something first."   
  
  
"No way," she instinctively replied as she shook her head in defiance.   
  
  
"Fine," he whispered and started walking back toward the school.   
  
  
Watching him walk away Asuka clenched her hands into fists.   
  
  
"Okay, fine. What do you want?" she relented.   
  
  
Shinji stopped as a hint of a smirk appeared on his face. "You have to be nice to Rei," he said without turning around.   
  
  
"Wondergirl!" Asuka screamed, "you're crazy if you think I'm going to act nice to that damn doll."   
  
  
"She is not a doll...and either you treat her better or the whole deal is off."   
  
  
Asuka stared at the back of Shinji's head wondering what her fellow pilot saw in the First anyway.   
  
  
"Fine," she eventually mumbled after determining he wasn't bluffing.   
  
  
"What?" Shinji asked, "I can't hear you."   
  
  
"I said 'fine'. For this amount of effort on my part you had better make a convincing boyfriend."   
  
  
"I will," he replied as he turned around to face her again. "We should get back to class."   
  
  
Shinji held out his hand for her as she approached, but Asuka turned her head away and walked right past him.   
  
  
"We are only pretending to go out. Don't do all that crap unless someone else is around, got it?"   
  
  
Shinji smiled and mock saluted. "Yes ma'am."   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"I'm going to puke if you two don't stop hanging all over one another," Kensuke clamored as Asuka lay in Shinji's lap. Unfortunately for him, his complaints had been ignored throughout lunch.   
  
  
"As the class rep can't you do something about this?" Touji said as he paced back and forth. "Isn't there some school bylaw or something against this sort of deplorable behavior?"   
  
  
Hikari shook her head. "No, not as long as their clothes stay on and it doesn't interrupt anyone's studies."   
  
  
She blushed a bit as she switched to a much less formal tone. "Don't you think it's romantic Touji? Two souls finding one another."   
  
  
Hikari blinked adoringly at him, but Touji didn't notice as his full intellectual capacity was focused on the problem at hand. A particular red haired problem.   
  
  
"You said you can stop them if it disrupts someone's studies, right?" he said as a revelation overcame him.   
  
  
Hikari frowned in dismay at Touji's obvious failure to acknowledge her not so subtle hint. "Yes," she muttered indignantly, "that's what the rules say."   
  
  
"Fine then I would like to lodge a FORMAL complaint that I can't study because of the horrible mental images of these two...sicko's."   
  
  
Touji crossed his arms in triumph and nodded as Kensuke started typing a formal letter of protest on his Palm 2600X.   
  
  
"Shut up moron," Asuka yelled as she jumped up from Shinji's lap to stare her nemesis in the eyes. "You can't study because you are an idiot."   
  
  
"What did you say?" he returned.   
  
  
"You heard me. You are as smart as a pile of rocks. The only mental images you are capable of involve sex acts with animated characters."   
  
  
"You take that back, uber bitch!"   
  
  
Asuka pointed an accusing finger at Touji. "You're nothing but a pervert. Don't think I don't know about you and the Grandmaster of Hentai over there with your collection of greatest hits."   
  
  
For his part Kensuke silently wondered how Asuka knew his JOL screen name and made a note on his Palm to change it immediately.   
  
  
"You think you are so high and mighty because you're an Eva pilot. But I bet if I became a pilot I could whip you and your Unit 02," Touji bellowed continuing the assault.   
  
  
"In your dreams, dork. NERV would never let a moron like you pilot. Hell, you would make Wondergirl look like a good pilot." Asuka cringed as she realized she broke her earlier promise to Shinji. Hearing no protest she continued on. "The only reason you would become a pilot is if they needed some idiot to sit in the cockpit as cannon fodder."   
  
  
Touji grew tired of her constant putdowns. He had seen Shinji pilot and although the mental stress seemed quite high, he would endure anything to shut the girl up.   
  
  
"I'd give an arm and a leg for the chance to fight you in an Eva. I bet I'd knock you out before you even had a chance to move."   
  
  
"Please," Asuka snickered, "any dummy could plug your sorry ass."   
  
  
Hikari finally felt the need to step in as the tension was reaching critical mass.   
  
  
"Stop it you two!" she said as she put herself physically between the two. Noticing no reduction in the hostilities she called for help. "Shinji, would you please give me a hand here?!"   
  
  
The class rep looked down at the Third Child's previous location only to find he had disappeared during the commotion.   
  
  
"Shinji?"   
  
  
Something in Hikari's tone caused Asuka to break off her attack and respond to her friend.   
  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked as she turned to look for her faux lover. "Where did he go?"   
  
  
Immediately four sets of eyes were rapidly scanning the schoolyard for any sign of the missing pilot.   
  
  
"There his is," Hikari exclaimed as she pointed toward a distant pair sitting under a cherry tree. "He's with...Rei."   
  
  
She instantly regretted finding the poor boy and worse still pointing out his current companion as her friend's face contorted into the most vile of expressions. Of course not everyone was as upset at this turn of events.   
  
  
"Way to go Shinji," Touji yelled as he high fived an equally exuberant Kensuke. "Looks like our boy is trading up."   
  
  
"Hey Asuka," the smaller boy cried out as he adjusted his glasses. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population...YOU!"   
  
  
The Stooges engaged in a hearty laugh at their comments as Hikari moved in to console her friend during this time of need.   
  
  
That comfort soon turned to triage for the unfortunate victims in Asuka's path as she stormed off, tossing people aside like a crimson tornado heading toward the unsuspecting pair.   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"Hi Rei."   
  
  
"Hello Ikari."   
  
  
Shinji glanced down unable to look at his teammate as he struggled to determine what he wanted to tell her.   
  
  
"Sorry about this morning. You probably know by now there wasn't an Angel attack."   
  
  
Rei nodded her head slightly. "I do not understand the purpose of Pilot Sohryu's deception."   
  
  
Shinji finally summoned the courage to look her in the eyes. "Well Asuka gets these crazy schemes sometimes and she needed to speak with me about her latest one...she didn't mean anything personal by it."   
  
  
Rei turned away and ate a small portion of her lunch as Shinji debated whether or not the conversation was over. Just as he stood up and prepared to leave, Rei surprised him by speaking.   
  
  
"What is the nature of Sohryu's plan?"   
  
  
"Well," he started before clearing his throat as it had suddenly become quite dry. "It seems she wants to get revenge on anyone who has wronged her in one way or another."   
  
  
"That would be an extensive list," Rei said matter of factly.   
  
  
"Yes, that's true," Shinji chuckled at her unintentional quip. "Anyway to execute her plan we are going to pretend to go out."   
  
  
"Go out?" she asked, blinking through her obvious confusion.   
  
  
"You know...go out."   
  
  
Shinji's elaborate explanation did nothing to ease her bewilderment with the concept. She simply continued to stare at him awaiting further information.   
  
  
"It's when a guy and a girl decide they would like to move their relationship past the friendship stage and become...well...romantically involved."   
  
  
Shinji hoped that he wouldn't be required to expound further because he probably couldn't. Luckily for him, Rei seemed to either grasp the concept or decide she didn't really care.   
  
  
"I do not comprehend why Sohryu would chose to falsify her feelings and actions," she whispered as her ruby eyes bore down on his deep blue ones in search of an answer. "Is this not confusing? "   
  
  
"For as long as I have known Asuka, most of the things she has done have been confusing to me. I guess I'm used to it."   
  
  
Rei continued to stare intently at him as he paused, catching sight of the approaching scarlet whirlwind as it scattered bodies to the left and right.   
  
  
Looking back with a smile he finished his train of thought.   
  
  
"But I think that something good will come out of this."   
  
  
---------   
  
  
"Have I told you what an idiot you are for that move today at lunch?" Asuka shouted breaking the calm in the living room.   
  
  
"Yes," Shinji groaned as he glanced up from his homework. After all she had already yelled at him at lunch, during the walk to NERV after school, during sync testing, during the entire walk home and during dinner. He searched hard to find an available instance when she didn't yell at him for his 'betrayal.'   
  
  
"I told you already, I didn't want to watch you fight with my friends so I walked away. I ran into Rei completely by accident."   
  
  
Asuka marched over and glared down at him.   
  
  
"I'll believe you this time," she said, deciding he was too spineless to lie to her. "But don't let it happen again. Stop talking to that freak. She's weird."   
  
  
Shinji jumped up forcing Asuka to back up as he stood inches from her face.   
  
  
"First off," he yelled pointing an accusing finger at her, "you agreed to be nice to Rei. And second, there was never any agreement that I couldn't talk to her. She is my friend and as long as it doesn't interfere with your plans then I will talk to her anytime I want."   
  
  
Shinji crossed his arms as a contented smile formed on his lips.   
  
  
Any further argument was curtailed as the sound of the door opening signaled the arrival of Major Katsuragi. In a rush Asuka pushed Shinji to the couch as she listened to the approach of the NERV Operations Director. Jumping on top of the Unit 01 pilot, she quickly pulled him in tight as Misato poked her head into the room.   
  
  
"Hello?...oh shit," she cried catching the sight of the two intertwined teens on the couch.   
  
  
She had convinced herself yesterday was a nightmare. Nothing more than an alcohol and stress induced figment of her imagination. After all the notion of Shinji and Asuka was almost as ridiculous as her and Shinji. Though her lonely heart was sometimes...   
  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" she yelled mentally slapping herself for her thoughts.   
  
  
"Hi Misato. I didn't hear you come in," Asuka said as she picked up her head from Shinji's chest. "I was too busy staring into my baby's blue eyes. I could lose myself in there you know."   
  
  
She leaned forward and planted a little kiss on his lips as he lay trembling beneath her.   
  
  
"This is not happening," Misato screamed as she retreated to the kitchen to start on a Yebisu influenced coma.   
  
  
-------   
  
  
Dropping another empty beer can into the garbage she continued to speak to herself, finding some comfort in the sound of someone's voice, even her own.   
  
  
"A dream, that's it. I'm dreaming."   
  
  
A smile appeared as she reached the conclusion everything was the result of some extended slumber.   
  
  
"All I need is to wake up and everything will be back to normal again."   
  
  
Misato walked back into the living room and watched as Asuka nuzzled up close to her man, whispering quietly yet somehow loud enough for the Major to hear.   
  
  
"I don't care what happens as long as I'm here with you," Asuka said. After pausing for a moment she remembered a line from an old movie she suffered through with Misato. "You complete me."   
  
  
The Major fought the urge to throw up. "Somebody please pinch me so I can wake up from this nightmare."   
  
  
Pen Pen, who up to this point had been quietly observing the situation from the safety of his pillow, took Misato up on the invitation. Rushing across the room, his beak open in anticipation of delivering one massive pinch to his unsuspecting master's calf. Just as he reached his goal, the Major spun around and picked him up, even against his squawking disapproval.   
  
  
"I know Pen Pen, we live in a loony bin. But Mommy loves you."   
  
  
Her comments finished, Misato pinched the penguin's cheek sending instant throbs of excruciating pain throughout his face.   
  
  
Like human grandchildren, warm weather penguins hate to be pinched in the cheeks.   
  
  
That fact was lost on the older woman as she placed the now furious bird back on the floor. The burning pain in his cheeks caused his eyes to well up in tears that soon obliterated his eyesight. Determined to escape from the evil woman's clutches before something worse happened, Pen Pen ran blindly around the room until his advance was halted by the wall. Slowly falling backward, he relished the fact that the pain in his cheeks was gone, replaced by the comfort that only a concussion induced nap could bring...   
  
  
"Guess he's tired," Misato shrugged as she watched Pen Pen lying on his back, the only motion an occasional twitching of his skyward pointing webbed feet.   
  
  
"You two can stop these games."   
  
  
Shinji and Asuka both moved their gaze away from the unconscious fowl and turned it to their guardian. She was standing over them, her hands squarely placed on her hips and she looking quite irate.   
  
  
"Games?" Asuka muttered.   
  
  
"Yes games, Asuka. I don't know what you two are doing, but it needs to stop right now."   
  
  
"For your information Misato," Asuka said confidently, "Shinji and I are very much in love."   
  
  
She let that comment resonate about the room for a few moments. The use of the word 'love' was not only enough to stymie Misato's advance, it scared her quite a bit too.   
  
  
The momentum of the battle now squarely in her favor, Asuka took the offensive.   
  
  
"What's the matter Misato...jealous?"   
  
  
"Jealous?" the older woman said indignantly. "Why should I be jealous of you?"   
  
  
"Oh I don't know," Asuka smiled, "maybe the fact I have Shinji and you have...well...nobody."   
  
  
"Shinji," Misato begged, her pained expression evidence of Asuka's stinging remark. "Are you in love with Asuka?"   
  
  
Misato's plight was not going unnoticed by the Third. Her eyes silently pleaded with him to help her, to provide some comfort for her pain.   
  
  
Asuka watched as her guardian's gaze bore down on Shinji, every passing moment bringing him closer to the point when he would give in and ruin all her plans.   
  
  
She slowly slid forward, effectively positioning her ample bosom within inches of a suddenly very excited boy.   
  
  
Shinji's gaze slowly shifted away from Misato and down to Asuka as she continued to reposition herself upon him. Quickly his eyes locked on the pair of breasts tantalizingly close to him.   
  
  
Watching the shameless spectacle before her, Misato sighed as she realized that the chances of receiving anything remotely intelligent out of the boy were finished. That fact combined with Asuka's smug victory grin was too much to bear as she called for a full retreat.   
  
  
"Fine!" Misato bellowed as she gathered up the shattered remnants of her pride. "I'll leave you two...lovebirds...alone."   
  
  
She turned and quickly left the room, ignoring Asuka's final volley.   
  
  
"Oh, don't go away angry. Just go away."   
  
  
Watching as Misato disappeared from sight, Asuka looked down at the still mesmerized boy. She gazed at him for a moment wondering why he seemed so happy. Then it hit her, and she hit him.   
  
  
"Pervert," she yelled as she quickly sat up and covered herself while sliding to the opposite end of the couch. "Get off of me!"   
  
  
"Get off of you?" he protested as he sat up. "YOU were on top of me!"   
  
  
"I'm not going into specifics with a jerk like you."   
  
  
"Ouch," he said as he attempted to rub some feeling back into his cheek. "What did you do that for?"   
  
  
"Because you were trying to look down my shirt!"   
  
  
"You stuck them out there. What did you expect?"   
  
  
Asuka turned away so Shinji could not see her blush. "You didn't see anything, did you?"   
  
  
"Who me?" he replied innocently. "I didn't see anything."   
  
  
Shinji smiled as he remembered what he did see, not everything but enough to make his dreams quite interesting for the next few nights...   
  
  
---------   
  
  
Misato fell into her chair as she opened another beer. She had decided to battle pull tops and hangovers instead of her Children. After all, Asuka was right, she was jealous. Quickly guzzling she hoped this one would provide the relief she desperately wanted. She wasn't getting any younger and Kaji didn't seem to take their relationship seriously. It seemed too late to start with someone new, especially given the amount of time and effort required. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she wished for just once in her life that she could be the happy one.   
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...   
  
  
Next Chapter: "Misato's Counterattack"   
  
  
Ok, I did it again. Another mammoth chapter. Sorry about that, I was going to combine this chapter and the next and cut them into 3 chapters but I really wanted to get Rei into the picture and didn't want to put it off another chapter. After all she is very important to the plot. Now that everything is in place, I will move forward somewhat quicker as all the plot pieces have been set on the table. In case anyone forgot, the two girls are the same two from chapter 2 that cut Asuka in line. As part of the R3 project that Rhine, Random and myself are doing, I will be doing a chapter of this fic every 3rd week, so be sure to look for the next chapter. Specifics for the R3 project can be found at www.geocities.com/random1377/TheRpage.html Thanks to Random, Rhine and 20eva for prereading and C&C is welcome at jelamoureux@home.com and so without further ado here is:   
  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************   
  
  
Ryoma: Hello everybody and welcome to the chapter 3 Omake Theater. We have a really great show for you so lets... Who are you?   
  
  
Dark Stranger: I'm Dark Ryoma and I'll be doing the omake theater tonight.   
  
  
Ryoma: Dark Ryoma huh? I wasn't expecting you.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: No one ever expects Dark Ryoma! Now time is wasting let's get on to the omake.   
  
  
Ryoma: Well I did have some stuff written, but you seem ok, if a bit...well...dark. Go ahead, what can it hurt?   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: Thanks, now get off my stage. All right listen up, in the event that this omake makes you ill, barf bags are in the seat back in front of you. Roll the damn film!   
  
  
*curtain rises*   
  
  
"Wondergirl," Asuka murmured through her gnashing teeth.   
  
  
She silently watched as the blue haired beauty split the water like an azure torpedo. Darting back and forth across the pool, she swam in a frantic pace, her technique quite unconventional as she splashed around.   
  
  
"Hey is that Rei?" Hikari offered as she caught sight of the object of Asuka's death stare.   
  
  
"Y...yes," Shinji stammered, stepping over to stand next to the Class Rep. "But what the hell is that chasing her?"   
  
  
The three children all crowded around the fence, straining to see exactly what he was talking about.   
  
  
Rei glanced back and noticed the unmistakable image behind her. The large gray triangle cut the water like a knife, rapidly closing the gap between it and her.   
  
  
"What is it?" Hikari screamed as Shinji fought to climb the fence. "Swim Rei! Damn it swim!"   
  
  
"Carcharodon carcharias," Asuka said nonchalantly. "A Great White shark. An eating machine."   
  
  
"A WHAT?" Shinji cried as he fell to the ground. "Do something Asuka!"   
  
  
"Too late now...look," she said pointing to the pool.   
  
  
Shinji stood and watched as Rei thrashed about, trapped in the gnashing jaws of the beast.   
  
  
Struggling to free herself she pounded on the animals head even as it slowly gulped her down whole.   
  
  
Soon engulfed up to her waist she threw her head back as the blood exploded from her mouth, forced out by the sheer..."   
  
  
*curtain falls*   
  
  
Ryoma: Hey what are you doing?   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: I'm telling my story here...why did you stop it, we were just getting to the good part.   
  
  
Ryoma: Good part? You were horribly killing a beloved character in a mean and overly nasty way. Not to mention quite unbelievable too.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: Killing off characters is one of my favorite things in fanfics. And the more gruesome the better.   
  
  
Ryoma: I'm not sure you're cut out for omake. Perhaps I should take over.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: No, I got it now. You want something FUNNY. Cool I can dig that.   
  
  
*curtain rises*   
  
  
"I don't care what happens as long as I'm here with you. You complete me."   
  
  
Misato fought the urge to throw up. "Somebody please pinch me so I can wake up from this nightmare."   
  
  
Pen Pen, who up to this point had been quietly observing the situation from the safety of his pillow, took Misato up on the invitation. Rushing across the room, his beak open in anticipation of delivering one massive pinch to his unsuspecting master's calf. Just before he reached his target the floor shook and began to buckle beneath him.   
  
  
"What's happening?" Misato screamed as she fell over backwards.   
  
  
Looking up she saw a flash of black and white protrude through the now open living room floor.   
  
  
"What the hell?" she muttered as Asuka and Shinji ran over to get a better vantage point for the action.   
  
  
"Pen Pen!" Misato screamed finally catching sight of the little penguin as it was thrashed about in the jaws of the creature.   
  
  
"Mein Gott in Himmel!" Asuka yelled as she pointed to the monster. "Free Willy has got Pen Pen!"   
  
  
The orca whipped the defenseless bird about, not unlike the images seen on nature specials, as he struggled to free himself.   
  
  
"FREE WILLY?" Shinji cried as he fell to the ground. "Do something Asuka!"   
  
  
"Too late now...look," she said pointing to the animal.   
  
  
The three humans could only watch helplessly as the star of two Disney movies tossed the bird high in the air, opening his jaws wide to accept the falling morsel.   
  
  
"WWWWAAAARRRrrkkkkk!!"   
  
  
This was the last thing ever heard from Pen Pen as the killer whale closed his mouth and slowly sank below the floor to the depths of the apartment complex.   
  
  
*curtain falls*   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: Thank you, thank you.   
  
  
Ryoma: Wonderful...do you realize what this is going to cost me? Never mind the cleaning bill, think about the years of therapy these traumatized kids are going to require.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: Therapy for what? I loved that scene. I love scenes like that. I was RAISED on scenes like that. I'm fine.   
  
  
Ryoma: I think you miss the point of omake theater. It's supposed to be something funny based on the previous chapter. The key word is FUNNY, not DEPRESSING.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: Funny eh? Never tried funny before, seems pointless. I'm not cut out for this, I'm going home and put my Death / Rebirth and End Of Evangelion DVD on continuous loop and watch it for 24 hours straight. Man, I love that ending !   
  
  
Ryoma: I thought you would. Sorry for the crappy omake but I was pressed for material this chapter. Good night everybody. Dark Ryoma, wave to the crowd.   
  
  
Dark Ryoma: I feel sick... 


	4. Misato's Counterattack

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:  
  
  
The Best Laid Plans  
  
  
Chapter Four "Misato's Counterattack"   
  
  
by Ryoma  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
  
"Congratulations."  
  
  
"Huh?" Asuka replied, the confusion evident in her voice.   
  
  
The class rep and the Eva pilot were enjoying a relaxing lunch under a beautiful midday sun in the school courtyard as in the distance the Three Stooges frolicked as only Stooges could.  
  
  
"What are you talking about?" Asuka continued, placing her now empty bento box on the ground.  
  
  
"You and Shinji's one week anniversary, that's what." Hikari said excitedly.  
  
  
"Has it been a week already?" Asuka asked aloud. Ignoring the class rep's excited nods, she pondered how an entire week had escaped her attention.   
  
  
"Then I guess it's true what they say about time standing still when you are in love," the class rep said before frowning and turning away.  
  
  
She wasn't quite fast enough as Asuka caught sight of her change of expression. "What's wrong?"  
  
  
"Nothing," Hikari whispered, keeping her back to the redhead as she stared out at the boys in the distance. "Nothing at all."  
  
  
Asuka stood in silent contemplation as she wondered what triggered Hikari's sudden mood change. She had been acting strange ever since the Second and the Third announced their relationship. In the beginning she seemed genuinely happy, but over the past few days it appeared that something was troubling her best friend and bringing her down. "Hey Hikari, do you want to do to the mall with me tonight?"  
  
  
"No," came the soft reply.  
  
  
"How about coming over and studying together?" she said. "We've got that big test next week."  
  
  
Asuka gazed at the back of Hikari's head as she watched the brown-haired girl shake it back and forth, her flopping pigtails exaggerating the movement. "No."  
  
  
"Is there anything you want to do together?" Asuka sighed. She pushed the bento box around with her foot as she awaited an answer. After a minute of receiving nothing other than silence she pressed on. "What's your problem?!?! Jeez, what did I do that you're so mad at me for?"   
  
  
Hikari turned around, the pained expression from before still etched across her freckled face. "It's nothing you did. Honest," she said shrugging the comment off. "I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with you and Shinji right now, that's all."  
  
  
"Shinji?" Asuka exclaimed, "what does Shinji have to do with this?"  
  
  
"I figured you would want to spend your free time with him. He is your boyfriend after all."  
  
  
Asuka thought long and hard on that statement, Hikari giving her a puzzled stare at the long silence. "Yes, that's right," she finally responded somewhat reluctantly. "He is my...boyfriend. But what difference does that make? You used to always come out with both of us before."  
  
  
"But now that you are a couple, everything has changed. Before we were all just friends, hanging out, and stuff. But now I would just be in the way." Asuka prepared to explain how ridiculous that idea was, but was cut short as Hikari turned away before she had a chance to start. "You really are lucky," Hikari said as she resumed watching the students standing under the large cherry tree that dominated the courtyard. Particularly a certain boy wearing a jogging suit.   
  
  
"Lucky?" Asuka questioned as she stepped forward next to her friend.  
  
  
"Yes lucky. You have a great guy who spends time with you, worships the ground you walk on, takes care and protects you from harm." Asuka stared out at the distant image of Hikari's praise as he shared a laugh with his friends. Her thoughts were on the girl's words, attempting to determine if in fact they were as true as they seemed on first review. The class rep took a deep breath followed by a defeatist sigh. "I wish I could find someone who would treat me like that."   
  
  
Hikari's words snapped the Second Child out of her silent contemplation. The hurting tone in her friend's voice was unmistakable and Asuka left her own thoughts to focus on helping her friend. Still, in the back of her mind she made a mental note to revisit the issue of the Third Child. The words about him seemed to clash with the Shinji Ikari that she knew. "There must be somebody you like," Asuka said. "What about that new kid? Hayato. He seems kind of cute."   
  
  
"No," Hikari returned abruptly. She stared down at the ground for a moment before speaking again. "There is ONE person I sort of like."  
  
  
Asuka put her hand on her chin and began putting her genius IQ to work. Try as she might she could not avoid the obvious answer. After a minute of silent denial, she frowned and put her arms on her best friend's shoulders. "Please tell me it's not him," Asuka said as she shook the girl, "not HIM!"  
  
  
"Touji...never!" Hikari said as her face flushed a fine shade of crimson.  
  
  
"Well that's a relief," Asuka sighed as a broad smile formed on her face. She watched as the other girl frowned and lowered her head, obviously upset at her friend's words.  
  
  
"Oh my God, so you DO like him," Asuka clamored. "Have I taught you nothing?"   
  
  
"Yes," Hikari whispered as she nodded her head in agreement. "But...he's...out of...my...league," Hikari stammered, still fighting to contain her blush.   
  
  
Asuka smirked at her friend's modesty. "Well if by out of your league you mean too good for him, I would have to agree." Her grin changed to a frown as she continued, "but since for some strange reason you seem to like the idiot, why don't you ask him out?"  
  
  
"It's not that easy Asuka, " Hikari exclaimed, still shocked that her secret had been revealed. "I just can't ask him out. What if he says no? I'll be crushed."  
  
  
Asuka crossed her arms on her chest. "He may be a moron but he isn't stupid. Of course he is going to say yes."  
  
  
"You don't know for sure he'll say yes, do you?" she asked excitedly.  
  
  
Asuka shook her head. "I don't know for SURE he will say yes..."   
  
  
"See, I knew it," Hikari said through her frown. "It doesn't matter anyway, I'm too afraid to ask."  
  
  
"I guess I could ask him for you," Asuka said grudgingly. "He may be a boob, but you are my friend so..."   
  
  
Hikari reached out and forcibly grabbed Asuka's upper arm. "Don't you DARE!" she exclaimed. Both girls looked down in shock as the class rep's hand was still clutching the German girl's arm. "Sorry," Hikari said as she quickly released it. "If you ask him out for me I'll never speak to you again." Asuka looked into her best friend's eyes, the brown orbs a mixture of fear and shame as they blinked in defiance of the Second Child's will. "I mean it Asuka, don't get involved. I don't want your help."  
  
  
As Hikari watched the redhead nod in agreement to her every word, it became very obvious that Asuka was going to act against her wishes. "I want you to promise me you won't do anything."  
  
  
"Yeah sure I promise," Asuka casually replied.  
  
  
"Asuka!" Hikari said, sensing the insincerity in her voice. "I swear I'll stop being your friend if you break this promise."   
  
  
The Unit 02 pilot gave serious thought to calling her friend's bluff, but eventually decided that the class rep's friendship was too important to lose over something as stupid as Touji Suzahara. "I promise," Asuka said as she raised her right hand. "It's not like I WANT you two to get together. I just thought you needed some help. I have NO problem if you never ask him out."  
  
  
"Thanks," Hikari whispered as she reluctantly returned Asuka's smile. The two stood staring at each other for a few moments before the class rep continued. "I have to stop by to the principal's office before the afternoon session...so I better go." Hikari turned and began walking toward the entrance to the school. "I'll see you in class," she called out as she broke into a faster pace, clutching her bento box leftovers to her chest.  
  
  
Asuka watched as the girl ran off into the school and wondered if she truly had to go to the principal's office or simply wanted to be alone to sulk.   
  
  
The concern for her best friend was short lived as a new image entered her field of vision.  
  
  
She dug her heels into the ground and swallowed hard as the emotionless visage of Rei Ayanami approached. The two held each other's gaze, locked and unblinking. Soon Rei was standing directly in front of Asuka, her vermilion eyes captured in Asuka's sky blue.   
  
  
"Hello, Wondergirl," Asuka said, striking first. She may have promised Shinji to be nice to the First, but she never agreed to call her Rei.  
  
  
"Good afternoon, Pilot Sohryu." She may have promised Shinji to try and open up to the Second, but she never agreed to call her Asuka.   
  
  
Pleasantries now completed the two stood nose to nose, Asuka's glare returned by Rei's blank, emotionless stare.  
  
  
"I would like to have a word with you," Rei reluctantly started.  
  
  
"Sure, why not," Asuka said turning away from the First in mock annoyance. "It's a free country."   
  
  
Rei shook her head. "Actually," Rei corrected her, "given the total authority which NERV possesses over the city of Tokyo-3 in specific and the country of Japan in general, a better classification would be a totalitarian government. With Commander Ikari as the leader, of course."   
  
  
"Of course," Asuka sighed as she slapped her forehead. "What was I thinking?"  
  
  
Rei stared at the redhead curiously as she spoke again. "Given these facts would you still wish to speak with me?"  
  
  
The German girl shook her fists in frustration. "What do you want?" she grumbled through her gnashing teeth.  
  
  
"I would like to inquire about your long term plans," the blue haired girl said unfazed by the other's attempt at intimidation. "Specifically regarding your relationship with Ikari."  
  
  
"What's the matter," Asuka smiled conceitedly, "are you jealous?"  
  
  
Rei cocked her head just a bit as paused to she think about her answer. "I am not sure if I understand exactly what it is to be jealous."  
  
  
"My God," Asuka laughed, "you don't know what jealousy is?"  
  
  
"I...," Rei started as she lowered her head to stare at the ground beneath Asuka's feet. "I am having difficulty sorting through my emotions."   
  
  
Now it was the Second's turn to pause. For the doll to mention feeling any emotions was a surprise. Perhaps she was human after all, and not some evil clone born and raised in a glass tube as Asuka had always suspected.   
  
  
"What relationship with Shinji?" she said, returning to the original question and trying to distance herself from thinking of Rei as a human. Complete with emotions. "What are you stupid? He's nothing but a boring little boy. No way would I get involved with him."  
  
  
"I was under the impression that you were...dating," Rei returned calmly as she looked up to catch sight of Asuka's shocked appearance. "If this information is incorrect I shall inform the others of the truth." That said Rei turned and prepared to walk away before a hand grabbed her shoulder and held her firm.  
  
  
"Wait," Asuka said as she pulled Ayanami around to face her again. "I...I may have spoken too quickly before. Truth be told, Shinji and I are going out...I...I just didn't want to go around telling everybody."  
  
  
"I see," Rei responded with a slight nod.   
  
  
The Second Child was melting under the First's gaze as it seemed to be looking right through her lies and deceptions. Asuka was feeling quite uncomfortable at being the object of scrutiny, and she tried to divert the attention away from herself.  
  
  
"Why do you care?" Asuka said indignantly.  
  
  
"Ikari is a good person," she said quietly. "I would be displeased to see him harmed physically...or emotionally."  
  
  
"What the hell are you trying to say, Wondergirl?" Asuka yelled through her scowl. Rei turned her head away in an effort to avoid the verbal assault. "Are you saying that pathetic, spineless, little dork is too good for me? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."  
  
  
Rei continued to look away as she spoke. "He is not your personal plaything. He has feelings as well."   
  
  
"That's funny," Asuka said as she stepped back from the Unit 00 pilot and bent over in exaggerated laughter. "The doll telling me about feelings."  
  
  
"I am not a doll," Rei whispered as a slight grimace formed on her face.  
  
  
"Sure you're not a doll," Asuka replied sarcastically. "The fact that you can't even figure out if you are jealous or not is completely normal."  
  
  
"As I indicated before," the First said softly, her lips curving down slightly at the corners. "I am having difficulty understanding my own emotions."  
  
  
"Let me see if I can help you," Asuka smiled.   
  
  
She stepped forward and stuck her head around to examine Rei's back. After a few moments, the Unit 02 pilot was again standing in front of the First.  
  
  
"Well I couldn't find the drawstring so I guess you run on batteries," Asuka muttered as her mouth upturned into a wry grin. "And I didn't see any emotions "on" switch, so I guess the reason you can't figure out your feelings because you weren't programmed to have any."  
  
  
Rei watched as Asuka crossed her arms on her chest and closed her eyes, a smile a triumph plastered on her face. Her red eyes narrowed very slightly as she spoke. "I may still have difficulty," she said, her tone startling Asuka with its quiet force. "But concerning Ikari, I understand my feelings perfectly."  
  
  
Asuka looked visibly shaken as Rei continued to stare at her, the grimace never leaving her expression. After a brief pause she finally addressed the First's shocking revelation.  
  
  
"So...so you are saying you like Shinji?"  
  
  
"Yes," Rei nodded as the scowl turned to a slight smile. "I care for him greatly." Asuka could only stand in stunned silence as the other girl continued. "I will be watching him closely," Rei said as she turned and walked away.   
  
  
---------  
  
  
Seven days and seven nights...and seven defeats.  
  
  
The mental scorecard was quite apparent as Misato drove out of the final checkpoint at NERV headquarters. The string of consecutive losses was a testament to her underestimation of the enemy, an unexpected mistake that was inexcusable given her position as Operations Director. After all, how could she successfully devise radical and groundbreaking strategies to deal with an alien menace like the Angels, and yet be completely overwhelmed by a teenage girl?   
  
  
Yet now she drove with a purpose. Weaving in and out of the afternoon rush hour traffic, she glanced up to adjust her rearview mirror. The smiling face that greeted her conveyed her growing sense of confidence as she carefully reviewed each and every facet of her plan, mentally confirming that she had left nothing to chance.   
  
  
A quick toot of her horn warned a careless biker as she continued home, content that after tonight's exchange, Asuka's New World Order would be smashed and normalcy would again reign over the Katsuragi household. Misato almost felt pity for the two Children, sitting home unaware of the fate that would befall them.   
  
  
Her blaring horn trumpeting her return to dominance, Misato veered sharply to the left as she used the sidewalk as a convenient detour around a slow moving police car.  
  
  
---------   
  
  
"This place is really great," Shinji commented as he gazed in awe at the ambiance of the room. Located at the top of one of the city's tallest buildings, its unencumbered views were truly breathtaking. These brilliant views of the city were matched by the elegance of the decor. Though there were quite a few tables, their arrangement combined with the size of the lounge offered the patrons a sense of privacy, accentuated by the dim house lights and flickering of the candles present on each table. The Bistro de Second Impact truly was one of the finest restaurants in all of Tokyo-3. A fact seemingly not lost on the boy nor his uncharacteristically quiet girlfriend as they stood in the large window watching the city lights below.  
  
  
"Why thank you, Shinji," Misato replied, still able to convey some sense of emotion in the statement though she had repeated it for the fourth time now. She sat quietly at the table, sipping her rum and coke as she watched the two Children point to various landmarks about the city, Shinji offering the obligatory, 'Hey I can see my home from here.' She smiled after Asuka whacked the back of his head and admonished him that he was in fact pointing to a ramen stand, on the opposite side of town.  
  
  
"So," Asuka said as she turned away from the view and returned to her seat. "What's with the fancy getup?"   
  
  
"Well," Misato said as she watched Shinji also return to his seat next to Asuka. "One week together is a major milestone. I wanted to help you celebrate."  
  
  
Asuka mentally kicked herself for not noticing the connection earlier, especially after Hikari had already mentioned it. She had felt uneasy about the dinner invitation right from the start, and now it seemed that her apprehension was well founded.   
  
  
"Thanks just the same, but I would have preferred to spend this special night with my special little guy," she cooed as she glanced over at Shinji. She had quickly raised her defenses and in her attempt to return to "loving girlfriend" mode, she overshot and entered "annoying, sugary, syrupy, gibberish" mode.   
  
  
Nausea swept across the table, Asuka and Misato both seemed to cringe and Shinji just shook his head.  
  
  
"How...nice," Misato commented, the bile and rum tickling at the back of her throat. As sickening as it sounded, she decided to add a little romantic mush as well. "You are so cute together."   
  
  
The net sum of all the warm and fuzzy feelings at the table left Misato drained as she polished off the rest of her drink. Much more of this and she was either going to jump out of window or need an injection of insulin. Patience, Misato thought to herself as she glanced down at her watch, Asuka's hour was now at hand.  
  
  
"At first I thought you two were just playing some elaborate trick on me," the Major said without glancing up from the table, "but now I can see I owe you an apology. I'm sorry." She absently fumbled with her fork as she paused for dramatic effect. "Cupid's arrow has found your hearts, I guess you two are truly in love. Tonight is a payback for me doubting you and treating you both so badly the past week "   
  
  
Asuka turned to Shinji as he did the same, both shocked by Misato's comments. Try as she might, the redhead could not hide the contented smile that overcame her. Not a conciliatory speech for the ages, but as an admission of surrender it seemed adequate. She settled back in her chair, putting her hands up behind her head in triumph.  
  
  
Suddenly another thought entered her mind. With Misato now defeated what about her and Shinji? With their guardian now beaten, there would be no reason to continue her ruse of going out with him. The choice seemed simple, end her "occupation" of the Third and continue on as if nothing had happened. Still, what would he do if she suddenly pulled up camp and left him? There were still hostile forces in the area like The Stooge Armies, not to mention the dreaded Blue Menace who might move in if her influence was removed. She was too engrossed in her post war strategy to notice two shadowy figures enter the restaurant and begin walking towards them.  
  
  
"Let's have a toast." Misato lifted her water glass as a subtle smile formed on her face. She had not missed the arrival of the approaching duo. After all she had invited them.  
  
  
Shinji and Asuka held raised their glasses and awaited some meaningful words from their guardian. Misato continued to hold her glass up high as she silently cursed the elderly couple who had the audacity to stand and attempt to leave, thus blocking the advance of her secret weapons.  
  
  
"Um...Misato?" Asuka said, her patience running thin. "Today."  
  
  
"Ah...yes...sorry," Misato stammered, trying her best to stall. "Hey, you two should be holding hands." The teens looked at one another and shrugged, then cautiously grasped hands before again turning toward the violet-haired older woman. She did not return their gaze, instead watching her reinforcements as they were still trapped by the ancient twosome. Contemplating whether a rolling tackle on the old bat would be excessive, she returned to her delaying tactics.  
  
  
"In the quiet moments like this, it's apparent what great kids you are," Misato said as she again looked at the Children. "And as my mother used to say, love is a many splendored thing...of course that was right before she left my father and..."  
  
  
"Dammit Misato, are you going to give us a toast or not !?"  
  
  
"Sorry Asuka." Misato cleared her throat and continued. "A toast...to the best couple in all of Tokyo-3."  
  
  
"Best couple of what?"  
  
  
"KAJI!" Asuka squealed instinctively as she turned to face the source of the voice. "What are you doing here?" she added jumping up and leaving Shinji's hand holding thin air.  
  
  
"I heard there was a party and I never miss a good party." The older man approached the table and smiled. He was dressed in a double breasted dark blue sports jacket blazer and dark slacks, his long brown hair pulled back into its usual ponytail. He took Misato's hand and planted a quick kiss on it before she pulled it away.   
  
  
"You're late," Misato grumbled.  
  
  
"It's fashionable," he said with a grin before turning to face the only other person he had not addressed. "Hi Shinji."  
  
  
"Hello Kaji," Shinji whispered as he acknowledged the greeting and returned his glass and empty hand to the table.  
  
  
"Good evening Ikari." Rei, dressed in her standard school uniform, stepped out from behind the eternally unshaven man. "Hello Major Katsuragi, Pilot Sohryu."   
  
  
"Why Rei what a surprise," Misato said sarcastically as she slapped Kaji hand away. "How nice of you to join us, don't you think so, Shinji?"  
  
  
"I was under the assumption from your earlier message that my presence here was required."  
  
  
"Ha ha," Misato chuckled and quickly looked at Kaji. "Why don't you sit down? Kaji you sit next to Asuka and Rei, you sit over here next to Shinji."   
  
  
"So Kaji, what brings you out tonight?" Asuka said as she eyed Shinji helping Rei into her chair.   
  
  
"NERV intelligence reported some very attractive single young ladies all alone without protection and sent me to investigate," Kaji said with a grin as he ended his comments with a wink at Shinji.   
  
  
"Kaji, I'm a boy."   
  
  
"I KNOW that," the stubble chinned man groaned, shaking his head at just how much the boy needed to learn about male bonding.   
  
  
"And Major Katsuragi should no longer be considered young." Misato cast an evil glare over at Rei, who was carefully arranging her napkin in her lap.   
  
  
"You look ravishing as usual, Asuka," Kaji said through his trademark crooked smile. "It's been a while since I have seen you. Anything new?"   
  
  
Kaji sighed as Asuka began to prattle on about sync rates and test scores. His gaze subtly shifted off the Second Child and onto the Operations Director. Giving himself the mental order to bring the charisma engines online, he prepared to unleash the full power of the Kaji charm to bear on the lovely Major Katsuragi.  
  
  
Misato was far too preoccupied to even notice his gaze. She was busy listening to Asuka's ramblings, or better yet the one subject that she failed to mention. It was time to bring the lambs to the slaughter. Mentally she gazed over the control panel in her mind, skipping over the Katsuragi Maneuver button and depressing the newly installed Misato's Counterattack one. "Sorry to interrupt, but Asuka why don't you tell Kaji the really big news."  
  
  
The Unit 02 pilot looked back at her quizzically as she reviewed in her mind all the Kaji newsworthy events. Deeming none of them nearly as important as her personal best sync ratio she prepared to continue when the truth finally hit her. She suddenly turned pale as the realization of her situation crept in, her mind now ablaze analyzing every possible contingency plan in an effort to stave off a crushing defeat.  
  
  
Misato smirked as she noticed the panicked look in Asuka's eyes. Without mercy she unleashed the dogs of war. "Asuka and Shinji are a couple now. They're going out," she said happily as she turned to Kaji. "We are hear celebrating their one week anniversary."  
  
  
"That's nice."   
  
  
Kaji's attention span being what is was, Misato could have said Asuka was carrying Shinji's child of love and he wouldn't have reacted any different.   
  
  
She's checking me out, Kaji thought to himself as he returned her smile, anxious to try and skip ahead to the bedsheet Olympics that always seemed to follow when his charm was on. And he knew the engines were at flank speed as he navigated through the stormy seas, which comprised his relationship with the Major.  
  
  
Misato continued to smile at the spy, figuring that yet again he was relating his love life to commanding Japanese warships. He was as predictable as a sunrise and the fact that his lower brain was firmly in control again didn't matter. After all, the comment may have been directed to him, but it's true target sat directly across from her and was looking very ill while nervously playing with her auburn hair.  
  
  
"The Children are in love, doesn't it make you jealous."   
  
  
The secret agent returned to his senses as Misato had chosen her words very carefully. Achilles had his heal, vampires had sunlight, and Rouji Kaji had the word 'love.' She was painfully aware of the effect this word had on him.   
  
  
"So, you two are going out?" he said as he smiled over at the two. "I guess congratulations are in order."  
  
  
Shinji returned the smile while Asuka just continued to stare at Misato, a steady flow of invisible daggers flying across the table. "It's so cute Kaji. You HAVE to see them kiss. Come on you two, let's have an anniversary smooch."  
  
  
"Misato," Asuka complained, "I don't think this is the proper place for such displays of affection."  
  
  
"Come on Asuka, don't be shy. Give your man a nice big wet one. You don't seem to have a problem at home."  
  
  
"Yes, Sohryu. Please demonstrate your affection for Ikari," Rei said, providing Misato an unexpected ally. Soon all eyes were on the blue haired girl as she stared blankly back at Asuka. "I agree. I am interested in this...kissing."  
  
  
"Well...um," Asuka stammered trying to regain her composure after the unexpected comment from the First. "Home or not, I just don't think it's appropriate to kiss in public for the amusement of you perverts." She picked up her menu as a shield, pretending to find great interest in the cuisine available for 900 yen and less.  
  
  
"Asuka, you really should kiss. It is your anniversary and all." Kaji smiled contentedly as he watched Shinji ease closer to his girlfriend. It felt good to help out a fellow guy and as long as SOMEONE was getting some action, his mission in life was accomplished. Besides, he thought, Misato might let him do the same to her if he took her side.  
  
  
The three spectators watching for different reasons, the Second and Third closed their eyes and leaned in towards one another, lips puckered in anticipation of the joining.  
  
  
"I just remembered," Asuka said as she opened her eyes and rapidly pulled away. "I don't feel good. I think I have a fever."  
  
  
"You look fine to me," Misato replied skeptically.  
  
  
The Unit 02 pilot shook her head rapidly. "No, I'm sick. In fact I think I might have mono."  
  
  
The Major cast a suspicious eye on the girl, but elected to let it go. Her plan was proceeding as well as she could have hoped, and at this point the kiss wasn't all that important. Misato switched tactics as she spoke again. "How considerate of you to think about Shinji's health. You must really love him...Kaji, Rei, did you both see how Asuka is always thinking about him?"  
  
  
Kaji nodded before he spoke. "Shinji, you sure are a lucky guy. I wish I had someone to care about me like that." The three Children jumped as Misato slammed her fist to the table and mumbled something about him not being worthy of such a relationship. "Anyway," he reluctantly started again, a visibly agitated Misato staring at him and clenching her steak knife. "Asuka, what made you decided to finally start going out with Shinji? It's been obvious for quite a while that you were attracted to him, but still..." he said as a simple frown grew on his face. "I always figured you would save yourself for me."  
  
  
His hung dog appearance and sarcastic tone was abundantly obvious to everyone at the table, everyone that is except for one.  
  
  
"We're not technically going out," Asuka leaned forward and whispered softly praying that only Kaji could hear.  
  
  
"What do you mean, you're not technically going out?" Misato exclaimed. She had heard everything because she had been expecting it all along. "Are you telling me this is some type of elaborate game you two are playing?"  
  
  
"I'm not saying that," Asuka said now sitting up straight and facing her guardian.  
  
  
"Then what ARE you saying?" Misato replied, pressing the attack. She was determined to topple the house of cards that was the Shinji and Asuka "relationship".  
  
  
"I don't know." Asuka tried to hold Misato's glare, but soon was forced to look away in disgust.  
  
  
"Listen. It's a simple question. Yes or no. Are you going out with Shinji?"  
  
  
"I...I...I have to go to the bathroom," Asuka said, her voice threatening to break at any moment.  
  
  
"Bathroom?" Misato asked, quite surprised at the Second's answer. She looked at the girl for a moment then continued forward. "You can go to the bathroom right after you clear up whether or not you and Shinji are a couple."  
  
  
Asuka began fidgeting in her seat, squirming around and placing her hands between her legs. "I have to go to bathroom. I'll tell you when I get back, or do you want me to make a mess?"  
  
  
Misato glanced across the lounge to the restrooms. They were far enough from the front door that sneaking out would be noticed, and being on the top floor of a skyscraper eliminated the possibility of climbing out the window. Still, Asuka was a pretty resourceful girl...an escort seemed appropriate.  
  
  
"Actually, I have to go to the bathroom too. We can go together." Misato smiled as she stood and followed her charge.  
  
  
Kaji watched the pair leave over his glass as he enjoyed a drink. "Good job Shinji," he said while placing the beverage back down on the table.  
  
  
"Thanks...for what?"  
  
  
"For helping Asuka break down some of the walls she has put up around her heart. Deep down she's a good kid and I'm glad to see her finally start to be happy." Kaji took another sip of his drink before continuing his train of thought. "Funny though, I could always see that she had a little something for you, it was subtle but always there, but I figured you were to timid and shy to expose her. I guess I was wrong about you."  
  
  
"I'm sorry," Shinji said as he hung his head in shame. "But we aren't really going out. This is all just some scheme that Asuka came up with to get back at Misato."  
  
  
"Really?" Kaji exclaimed as he stared at the nodding Shinji before turning to Rei. "Did you know about this too?"  
  
  
"Yes," Rei replied with a slight nod.  
  
  
"Wow," Kaji said, shaking his head in amazement. "Some kinda secret agent I am when 15 year old kids can outfox me. I really need to get a new line of work before I get myself killed." He raised his glass to his mouth and began drinking again.   
  
  
"Mr. Kaji, the Second basically admitted it was not a genuine relationship when she refused to kiss Ikari just a few moments ago. Surely you must have picked up on that?"   
  
  
"Actually Rei, I would have picked up on it, but I was preoccupied," Kaji said as he unleashed one of his patented smiles yet again.   
  
  
Rei nodded in agreement. "Understood. Based on the direction and your viewing angle, you were much too interested in Major Katsuragi's breasts to listen to Pilot Sohryu."   
  
  
Kaji cocked his head a bit and stared at the First as she only blinked back in response. "You're mistaken Rei," he chuckled, "I was not checking out Misato's breasts. Even with the plunging neckline on that low cut dress..."  
  
  
Rei shook her head. "I am sorry Mr. Kaji, but you were."  
  
  
"Was not."  
  
  
"You were."  
  
  
"This is silly," Kaji said softly as he rearranged his silverware. "Rei, I was not staring at Misato's breasts. I don't treat women as objects."  
  
  
"You did."  
  
  
"Did not."  
  
  
"You did."  
  
  
"Did not." Kaji said, gritting his teeth much like a certain redhead usually did when dealing with the Unit 00 pilot. "So, Rei," he continued before the girl had a chance to respond, "have you checked out the menu yet? They make a fine prime rib here."  
  
  
"I do not like meat."  
  
  
"Yeah...okay." Shinji could swear he saw the words TILT in the older man's eyes as the ponytailed superspy turned to face him. "So let me get this straight, you get to hold hands and kiss Asuka but you aren't going out?" Watching the boy nod his head, Kaji continued. "You lucky bastard."  
  
  
"Huh?" came Shinji's bewildered reply.  
  
  
"I was commenting how lucky you are. You're making out with a beautiful woman and not having to deal with all the baggage that comes with a serious relationship. I wish more women would do that."  
  
  
"I don't feel lucky," Shinji sighed as he frowned and hung his head. "It's just another person using me for their own gains."  
  
  
"That's true," Kaji said with a smile, "but I say enjoy it while you can." He took a moment to glance over at Rei who seemed to be too engrossed in the menu to be paying any attention to the conversation. Still, Kaji leaned forward as he whispered to Shinji. "If it bothers you so much, I say use them right back." He stole one last quick glance at the First and lowered his volume even more as he continued. "First thing you need to do is determine your ultimate goal. Then figure out how to get there. Next you decide which person or people can best help you reach that goal. Remember Shinji, the key is the goal. Always remember what your goal is and then make it happen."  
  
  
"I don't know Kaji. I've never used anybody in my life. I don't know how."  
  
  
"For you it should be easy," the older man said after leaning in still closer and lowering his voice until it was barely audible even to Shinji. "Your mother and father were masters at manipulating people. Two of the best I've ever seen. So I figure that it's in the Ikari blood."  
  
  
"Mr. Kaji has a valid point," Rei said causing both men at the table to jump. "Genetics may aid in your attempts, Ikari."  
  
  
"Why...why thanks Rei," Kaji stammered as he tried to calmly slip back into his seat. "My grandfather had charm, my father had charm, and well, you know me," he said with a wink as he looked at the blue haired beauty.  
  
  
"Of course the basis of genetics is mutation and variation. That may explain what has happened to you."  
  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
  
"And just because I am currently the only female at the table does not mean you need to examine my breasts as you did Major Katsuragi's. Your actions are inappropriate and appear to be setting a bad example for Ikari. I would ask that both of you look me in the face when addressing me in the future."   
  
  
"Sorry," Shinji blushed.  
  
  
"It is an interesting theory. Your father has very little difficulty using persons for his own gains." Rei paused for a moment of silent reflection. "I know this quite well. Perhaps you also would not."  
  
  
"I'll give it some thought," Shinji replied as he smiled at Rei, "and I think I have a goal. But I would hope that I can achieve it without using anybody."  
  
  
"I hope you can," Kaji said as he turned his head to catch sight of the approaching women. "But keep it open as an option."  
  
  
"Perhaps I will," Shinji said as he too saw Misato and Asuka returning. "Kaji, please don't tell Misato about any of this. Asuka would kill me if she found out I told."  
  
  
"Don't worry Shinji," the older man whispered as he tapped temple with his finger. "Your secret is safe up here."  
  
  
"Thanks," the Third said as he quickly turned determine if Misato or Asuka was yet close enough to hear him. Judging he was almost out of time, Shinji leaned forward and whispered. "K...Kaji, could I ask one last favor? Could you try to get Misato out of here? I think Asuka has been through enough for one night."  
  
  
"I guess you have a point, things can only go downhill from here. I'll try but Misato has been pretty upset with me lately. She keeps saying I don't take our relationship seriously enough. I'll see what I can do." He finished just as the Major and the Second sat back down. "Ah...ladies, everything went well I take it."  
  
  
"Just fine, thanks for asking," Misato said indignantly. She carefully arranged her napkin in her lap and took a long sip of her drink, glancing over the glass at the redhead on the other side of the table. "Now, where were we?" she said as she lowered her glass to the table. "That's right, Asuka was going to tell us if she was indeed going out with Shinji or not?"  
  
  
"Katsuragi," Kaji interrupted," don't you think it's a little immature to keep badgering her all night. I'm sure when you were her age you were just as shy when it came to boys."  
  
  
"For you information," Misato shouted, "when I was her age I couldn't speak because of the trauma of Second Impact. Of course you would have known that if you had paid attention to a single word I've said during the past 9 years."  
  
  
"That's not true Misato, and you know it."  
  
  
"All I know is you have never taken our relationship seriously. Sure, I'll admit that I dumped you in college, and I have apologized for that time and time again. But I wasn't going to take a backseat to your work. My mother suffered through it for years before she finally gave up brokenhearted, and I wasn't about to let that happen to me."  
  
  
"Misato, I..."  
  
  
"No, let me finish. That was the past...ancient history. Times have changed, situations have changed. I've changed. Unfortunately it seems you have not. It's still the same old Ryouji Kaji. It's always some sweet talk and booze and back home to The Love Shack. Well I for one am sick of it."   
  
  
Shinji and Asuka looked at one another. "The Love Shack?"   
  
  
"Shut up!" Misato and Kaji screamed in unison at the two pilots before Kaji addressed Misato's comments. "I'm not the one who always drinks to much and then throws herself at me. You're impossible to figure out. I don't know whether you genuinely care or are using me for a good time."  
  
  
"Don't flatter yourself Kaji," the Major scoffed, turning her head away in disgust. "You're not that good."   
  
  
"That's not what you said last time," he replied.  
  
  
The volume at the table increased as Misato and Kaji continued to bicker. All around them patrons stopped eating and turned their attention on the duo. The elderly woman at the next table whispered to her husband about how petulant the younger generation was. Soon all eyes were on them as their discussion threatened to overwhelm the string quartet located at the other end of the lounge.   
  
  
"This is getting embarrassing," Shinji whispered to the other Pilots.  
  
  
"Yeah even the music stopped," Asuka replied as she watched the musicians put down their instruments. "Though I have to admit I've never liked that song they were just playing."  
  
  
"What song?" Shinji replied.  
  
  
"Air," Rei interjected before Asuka could respond. "By Johan Sebastian Bach. It is considered a masterpiece of classical music."   
  
  
"Masterpiece or not, I still hate that song."  
  
  
"Can you stop worrying about the song and please figure out some way to get them to stop fighting," Shinji said desperately as he looked at Asuka. She however, seemed quite content in the fact that for the time being at least, Misato had a new target. Shrugging her shoulders at the boy she glanced away and explained to the elderly couple at the next table that if they wanted to continue to stare, a photograph would last much longer.  
  
  
Shinji turned to the other Child at the table. Rei met Shinji's eyes calmly. 'What are you asking me, Ikari?' she thought, studying his agitated face carefully.   
  
  
"Umm, so Kaji..." Shinji said awkwardly, trying to change the subject, "do you know anybody with a cat? Dr. Akagi's birthday is coming and my father wanted to know if..."  
  
  
"I do not feel well..." Rei whispered suddenly, "may I please leave?"  
  
  
All eyes at the table focussed on her. "We haven't even eaten yet," Misato said with a frown, "what's wrong, Rei?"  
  
  
"I am... dizzy," the blue-haired pilot replied, "and my stomach is upset..."  
  
  
Asuka looked over at her fellow pilot and smiled. "Oh yeah... you look pale, Wondergirl...then again you ALWAYS look pale."   
  
  
Misato narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Had it been Asuka or Shinji, she would have thought it was a ploy. But Rei would never. Rei COULD never. "Ok," she sighed, "it would have been nice for you to enjoy the meal with us, but if you're not feeling well, it's best you go home."  
  
  
Rei turned to Shinji. "Would you walk me home, please?"  
  
  
"What?" came his astonished reply.  
  
  
"Will you walk me home?" she repeated.  
  
  
The Third Child blushed a bit as he stared into her ruby red eyes. "Um...well, I don't know. I mean...I still haven't eaten and..."  
  
  
Rei cut him off, mid-stammer. "Ikari, please escort me home," she said, nodding slightly as her eyes pleaded with him to obey.  
  
  
Shinji contemplated Rei's curious expression for a few moments before he realized her intentions. Signaling his understanding with just the barest inclination of his head as he turned to address the others at the table. "I probably SHOULD walk Rei home. After all she's not feeling well." He stood and placed his napkin on the table as he helped Rei with her chair.  
  
  
"That's very gentlemanly of you Shinji," Misato said as she smiled at the boy. "It's nice to know that ALL members of the male population aren't assholes." She ended her not so subtle comment with a scowl directed at her one time boyfriend.  
  
  
"Be careful Shinji," Kaji said smiling back at Misato. "You don't want to send the wrong message by trying to be a nice guy. Women are always getting the wrong idea about relationships."  
  
  
"Thanks Kaji, I'll try to remember that..." Shinji replied.  
  
  
"Don't listen to that idiot," Misato said as she kicked Kaji under the table. "Women know exactly what's going on and not going on in a relationship. Especially when they're being used for physical gratification."  
  
  
"And gratified you always are," the pony tailed man said with a smirk as he furiously rubbed his leg.  
  
  
"Not with that thing," Misato said, holding her hand up and positioning her thumb and forefinger about 4 inches apart and smiled. "That's about accurate I think."  
  
  
Asuka gasped when she realized what Misato was referring to. "That's not true, is it?"  
  
  
"No Asuka," Kaji said with a smile. "It's not that small."  
  
  
"It is that small," Misato replied.  
  
  
"Is not."  
  
  
"Is too."  
  
  
"Is not."  
  
  
Shinji and Rei's heads turned back and forth as they watched Kaji and Misato debate.  
  
  
"Well," Shinji said finally deciding to take the initiative, "we had better get going. Goodbye."  
  
  
"Not so fast, Third Child," Asuka clamored over the din. "You're not going anywhere." The redhead's sudden outburst silenced the argument for the moment as everyone watched her stand and approach Rei and Shinji.   
  
  
"Ikari is walking me home," Rei said as she reached down and grabbed Shinji's hand and began leading him away. "We should go."  
  
  
Asuka quickly grabbed Shinji's free hand and halted their retreat. "I KNOW what you THINK he's doing, but he's not going anywhere with you!"   
  
  
"Why not?" Rei questioned.  
  
  
"Because...because," Asuka spluttered before finally settling on an answer, "because he's my boyfriend, that's why."  
  
  
"Is he really?" Rei said quietly.  
  
  
Asuka paused for a moment as she glanced over her shoulder and noticed that Misato and Kaji were both eavesdropping with a keen interest. "What are you stupid? Shinji and I are inseparable."  
  
  
Rei stared at the Second Child for a few moments. "If your relationship is strong, surely you would not worry that someone could come between you?"   
  
  
"Me, worry about losing Shinji to you? I think not."  
  
  
"Fine, then it is settled." Rei gave Shinji's hand a strong tug and pulled him free of Asuka's hold. "Ikari and I are leaving. Goodnight Sohryu."  
  
  
Asuka watched as Rei led Shinji across the restaurant and out the front door. As they disappeared from view she turned and stumbled back into her seat, the look of surprise and shock evident on her face.  
  
  
"So," Misato started, trying to break the uneasy silence at the table, "I guess it's just us three."  
  
  
"So it is," Kaji smiled as he put his drink down and smiled at the two females. "Now that the competition is gone I have you both all to myself."  
  
  
"Give the God's Gift to Women bit a rest, will you," Misato groaned. She glanced over and noticed that Asuka was staring blankly out the window, her mind obviously on other things. "Asuka what do you want?"  
  
  
The red head continued to stare out the window. "Nothing."  
  
  
"Nothing?" Misato pleaded. "Come on Asuka, this is the finest restaurant in all of Tokyo-3. They've got all of your favorite dishes, you must want something."  
  
  
"I'll have prime rib, medium, with a baked potato and green beans on the side."  
  
  
Misato looked over to Kaji and scowled. "I don't care what YOU want."  
  
  
"Sorry," he replied raising his hands in defense.  
  
  
The Major turned to her charge again. "Asuka, are you sure you don't want anything?" The girl's shaking head was her silent reply. "Have it your way," Misato said as she picked up the menu and began looking it over. "You'll have to watch me eat because I'm starving." She scanned the listings of entree's and appetizers for a few moments. "I'm going to get a nice juicy steak, doesn't that sound good Asuka?"  
  
  
"I'm getting the prime rib."   
  
  
"I KNOW what you're getting Kaji," the violet haired woman said before turning back to face the girl. "Are you sure you don't want something?"  
  
  
"The prime rib is excellent."  
  
  
"Kaji, if you don't shut up about the prime rib, I'm going to punch you in the face," Misato growled.  
  
  
"No, I'm not hungry," Asuka sighed and stared down at her silverware, fumbling aimlessly with the fork.  
  
  
Misato turned and watched the Second as she fidgeted in her seat, her confident appearance from earlier in the night long gone.  
  
  
"I'd like a prime rib, medium, with a baked potato and.."  
  
  
"KAJI!" Misato screamed as grabbed her knife and turned to face him. "Would you shut up about the damn..." Her tirade was cut short as the Major noticed the waitress standing next to him scribbling out his order. "Oh...sorry about that."  
  
  
The waitress gave the Major a wry grin while Kaji finished giving his order. "And what would you like Miss?" the waitress said, adding with a smile, "prime rib?"  
  
  
Misato returned her smile with a mocking one of her own. "To tell you the truth," she said, her eyes squinting to read the woman's nametag, "Alice. I think we want the check for the drinks. We are leaving."  
  
  
"Leaving?" Asuka asked.  
  
  
"Yes, leaving. If you don't want to be here, then neither do I."  
  
  
"Who said I don't want to be here?"  
  
  
"It's obvious that you're upset that Shinji's gone so why don't you go find him," Misato said as Alice handed her the check.  
  
  
"That little dork? He can go play with his little doll for all I care," Asuka said indignantly. "I'd rather stay and talk with Kaji."   
  
  
"And I'd like my prime rib," Kaji lamented.  
  
  
"You'll get nothing and like it," Misato snapped. Smiling she turned towards the Second. "And you should go find Shinji."  
  
  
"I told you, I don't care what that idiot does," Asuka said softly through the frown on her face.  
  
  
"But I thought you two were dating?"  
  
  
Asuka gasped as what was left of her cover was finally blown. Looking over, Misato nodded slightly in agreement. "So...you know," the redhead said sheepishly.  
  
  
"I've had my doubts right from the start."  
  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
  
Misato smiled as she spoke. "Well, you will both have to be punished."  
  
  
"Great," Asuka sighed as she remembered previous bouts with the Major's penal system. "This would never have happened if that little moron wouldn't have left with Miss Perfect."   
  
  
"But we'll address that at home later. First I really think you should go find Shinji."  
  
  
"Why? He doesn't care about me and I don't care about him. We were only was pretending to like one another...I think it's obvious who he likes." Asuka lowered her head stared down at the table below. "I can't believe I lost to her," she muttered to herself softly.  
  
  
The older woman watched and listened with great interest. "I know you don't care about him, but I'm ordering you to go find him."  
  
  
Asuka looked at Misato incredulously. "You're ordering me?"  
  
  
"Yes," Misato said in her most military tone of voice. "I'm ordering you to find Shinji and Rei. What if she collapses and Shinji needs help? I need you to be there to take charge of the situation. Strictly in a military way...nothing personal."  
  
  
Asuka thought about it for a moment. "So your orders are to find them and assume command?"  
  
  
"In a way, yes."  
  
  
Asuka smiled as she jumped up from her chair. "Typical Wondergirl and Idiot Shinji. They are always relying on me." She quickly pushed in her chair and started for the door. "I hope they appreciate all the sacrifices I make to save their butts."  
  
  
Kaji watched as Asuka ran out the restaurant. "You did a good thing right then, Misato."  
  
  
"What did I do?" the Major innocently returned.  
  
  
Smiling he turned back to his companion, quite elated that they were alone. "So Misato...now that the kids are gone can I offer you a drink?"  
  
  
"I don't think so," Misato said as she fumbled through her purse to pay the bill.  
  
  
"What's the problem now?" Kaji inquired.  
  
  
"The problem is you refuse to make a commitment. Look, if you can't be mine, all mine, then I don't need you."  
  
  
Kaji pondered her words as he watched her continue to rummage around. For the first time he truly worried about losing her. Perhaps it was time to say those words he had always been too afraid to say before...   
  
  
"Um...Kaji," Misato said stammered as she looked up from her purse, her face awash in embarrassment. "I seem to be a little short on cash. It's funny but recently I seem to be having trouble keeping track of my money. Could you be a dear and pay the bill?"  
  
  
Kaji smiled, as it seemed he would be getting a reprieve, at least for the time being. Still, he wondered as he reached into his pocket and grabbed his wallet; would he ever be able to say those words?  
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Hey Wondergirl," Asuka said as she stepped out from the shadows near the entrance to Rei's apartment building. Rei watched as the Unit 02 pilot panted in a desperate attempt to catch her breath. "Where's Shinji?"   
  
  
"Ikari is not here."  
  
  
"I can see that," Asuka replied condescendingly, "where is he?"  
  
  
"He went to NERV headquarters."  
  
  
"NERV? Why the hell would he go to NERV at this time of night? Is something wrong?"  
  
  
"No." Asuka and Rei stared at one another for a moment before the First reached for the door. "If there is nothing else, I will be leaving now."  
  
  
"One last question," Asuka said as she held the door closed with her foot. "What was with the little charade you and that moron pulled off in the restaurant all about?"  
  
  
"Charade?," Rei responded with a slight cocking of her head. "I know of no deception that Ikari and I participated in."  
  
  
Rei began tugging on the door while Asuka simply crossed her arms on her chest and smiled. "Listen, you're not going anywhere until I get some answers." The First Child ceased tugging on the door and turned away to face the empty street. "Don't play me for a fool. I saw the little signals you and Shinji were exchanging at the table just before you left. So I'll ask you again, what is going on?"  
  
  
"Major Katsuragi's interrogation of you was becoming distressing. I decided to help."  
  
  
"Wait a minute," Asuka said as she grabbed her shoulder, forcing Rei to look at her. "YOU lied to help me. I can't believe it." The redhead smiled and turned away. "I guess I should thank you. I mean it's not like I needed your help or anything but still, I should be polite."  
  
  
Rei stared at Asuka curiously for a moment, an uneasy silence falling over the two. For what seemed like minutes the only sound heard was the rhythmic pounding of the pile driver at the construction site nearby. Finally the First Child prepared to enter her building.   
  
  
"Oh no you don't!" the Second Child yelled as she again blocked the entrance. "You did this out of pity, didn't you? Didn't you?" Asuka raised her hand up and pointed at the First. "I don't want your pity! Do you understand me? I don't want it. You thought you saw me in trouble and you couldn't wait to show off to Shinji and the others how great you are."  
  
  
"You misunderstood," Rei said softly as she lowered her head to escape Asuka's glare. "I did not purposely deceive the others for your benefit. Ikari was the one distressed. I was helping him."  
  
  
Asuka's jaw dropped as Rei walked by her and into the foyer. The Second was speechless as the blue haired girl slowly closed the door behind her. Just after it was completely shut, the First heard the sound of a fist hitting the metal frame...   
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
  
Next Chapter: "Switching Alliances"  
  
  
  
This brings us to the halfway point or so in the story. Still a few twists and turns left before this journey ends. Sorry to be a bit late on this chapter, but I got a little writers block and then my internet provider went out of business so I couldn't get it preread. One thing to clear up, Kaji's name is Ryouji Kaji, his last name is Kaji, not the first. I always thought Kaji was his first name too, but Rhine corrected me on that. Thanks to Random and Rhine for prereading and a special thanks to Rhine for pointing out that I forgot Unit 04 in my original omake.  
  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************  
  
Ryoma: Well another chapter down, so here we are with omake time. I have something really good planned for this Omake Theater so let me get...  
  
  
*sudden loud knocking on the door* BOOM, BOOM, BOOM  
  
  
Ryoma: I wonder who that could be?   
  
  
Ryoma opens the door and a large purple hand reaches through the opening and grabs him, pulling him outside.  
  
  
Ryoma: Oh, hi Unit 01...um...what can I do for you?  
  
  
Unit 01: Myself and the other Units here have some issues with your fic writing. *Units 00, 02, 03 and 04 step out from behind 01. Overhead the Eva Series is circling*  
  
  
Ryoma: Issues? Well guys I don't really know what to say. If there is something you want me to work on , I'll do it.  
  
  
Unit 02: Oh yeah, there's something you need to work on all right.  
  
  
Ryoma: Sure, is it not following canon? OOC? Spelling? Grammar?  
  
  
Unit 03: Shuttuap already! We's pissed you ain't used no Unit's in any of your fics, see.   
  
  
Ryoma: Oh that. I'm sorry but I haven't really had the chance to use any of you guys in a fic yet.  
  
  
Unit 00: Well what about this fic, it's still ongoing, right?  
  
  
Ryoma: *looking nervous* Yes it is still ongoing, but...um...I really don't see any point of putting any of you in the story. It's a romantic comedy and you guys were never supposed to...ah Unit 01, you're squeezing me a bit too hard.  
  
  
Unit 04: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.  
  
  
Ryoma: Excuse me?  
  
  
Unit 02: *draws prog knife* Not going to use us again, are you?   
  
  
Ryoma: Um...I...hadn't planned on it.  
  
  
Unit 03: *extends arms in threatening manner towards Ryoma* Listen here pal. We's Unit's gotta make a livin' too. As members of the Evangelion, Giant Mecha and Pipefitters Union, Local 1377, we's got exclusive rights to all Eva fics. You's gotta use us, and only us, in all Eva fics.   
  
  
Unit 01: Of course if you don't write us in any fics, we don't get paid.  
  
  
Unit 02: I hate not getting paid.  
  
  
Unit 04: *screaming incoherently* WWAWWAWBUBBALLLLAALALLAW.  
  
  
Unit 03: If I's don't get paid, I's can't put food on the table for all my little Units. Then my's kids get mad, the wife starts gettin' mad, then I start gettin' mad. You don't wanna see me's when I get mad. People's get hurt when I get mad.  
  
  
Ryoma: I understand your situation...perhaps I COULD write you in this fic. I had kicked around a little idea. Let me call my assistant for the storyboards. Robyn...could you come out here...please, and bring the storyboard for the scrapped Eva sketch.  
  
  
Robyn: *runs out from the office* Hey boss, here you go. By the way, that Kaworu character keeps calling and asking if you have any work for him in this fic. He's called 20 times already today. Keeps mentioning how much he loves you and stuff and is looking to get out of the yaio.  
  
  
Ryoma: Tell him nothing in this fic, and if he keeps calling change the number.   
  
  
*Unit 03 grabs the storyboards and looks them over*  
  
  
Unit 03: Hey, this isn't bad...00, he's got you painted yellow and me green but other'n that we're all there.  
  
  
Unit 00: I don't mind yellow...but what's with the different horns? Do they shoot some kind of weapons or something?  
  
  
Ryoma: *shakes head* Um...no.  
  
  
Unit 00: They look weird. 01, you have an upside down triangle on your head and appear to be carrying a purse?!?!? 02 you have a small circle and I have what appears to be a lightning bolt.  
  
  
Unit 01: A purse! Let me see that. *quickly scans the storyboards* What the hell is a Tinky Winky?  
  
  
Unit 03: Tinky Winky! Ha ha what a stupid name.  
  
  
Unit 01: Don't laugh, you're Dipsy. 00, you're La La and 02, you're Po.  
  
  
Unit 02: Po? Give me that...Mein Gott ! He's made us into 40 story Teletubies.  
  
  
Ryoma: *struggling to free himself from Unit 01's hand* Yeah...well...you see the plan was to have the Eva's volunteered for corporate sponsorship and stuff, as a way to improve their image to the public. It could have been funny...imagine Asuka inside of Po. *Unit 02's 4 eyes light up* I mean Unit 02...Unit 02. But I scrapped the idea because it wasn't needed for the plot.  
  
  
Unit 03: You's damn lucky you scrapped that. Them's guy's from the Gundam Union would have been gettin' a good laugh over that.  
  
  
Unit 02: Which again means we're not in any of your fics...and we're not getting paid. I say we kill him.  
  
  
Unit 00: I agree. Lets kill him and send a message to other Eva fic writers.  
  
  
Unit 03: I say's we kill um, then we's torture um, then we's break his legs, then we's rough um up...then we's kill him.  
  
  
Unit 01: *looking at Unit 03 and shaking its head* Idiot.   
  
  
Unit 04: No, no...this will never do...no not at all. WAWWAAABBBUBUBUBA !!!  
  
  
Ryoma: *turning to Unit 01 as Unit 04 scoops tons of dirt in it's monstrous hand and begins eating it.* Excuse me, but what's wrong with him?  
  
  
Unit 01: He hasn't been quite right since Anno dropped him from the series. He took it pretty hard.  
  
  
Unit 02: Yeah, he camped out in front of the guy's house for a week. Stepped on his dog, smashed his car...oh man you should have seen what he did to the pool.  
  
  
Unit 03: *giving Unit 02 a high five* That was too funny! Ain't pulling that thing out with no pool skimmer. Man that was nasty.  
  
  
Unit 01: Yes, well as you can see we other Units take care of him now. But that's not your concern, do you have any last words before I kill you?  
  
  
Ryoma: I can change...I can change. I promise on the next fic you will be there. All of you. *crying* Please don't kill me...I wanna live...Asuka, Rei, Misato...father. I don't want to die.  
  
  
Unit 01: Well, I always have had a soft spot in my heart for whiney kids...I'll let you go as long as you promise to write us into your next fic. *pulls Ryoma close and whispers* Be careful with 03...he's not right in the head...if you know what I mean. *Ryoma nods in agreement* Ok all that's left is to gently place you back on the ground and...  
  
  
Unit 02: Hey...there's one other storyboard in here.  
  
  
Ryoma: *desperate* Ah...you don't need to look at that. It's nothing...  
  
  
Unit 00: This one only seems to have Unit 01 in it.  
  
  
Unit 01: Well, that's better...after all I am the most powerful Unit, so I SHOULD get my own fic. You're not so bad Ryoma.  
  
  
Unit 03: Lemme see that...yup it's all 01. Damn big purple bastard. This sucks. Hell, I could handle this part...all you gotta do is run around, jumping and stuff with the kids. One question though...what the hell's a Barney?  
  
  
Units 00, 01, 02, and the Eva Series: BARNEY!  
  
  
Unit 04: Fishy, fishy...fishy, fish.  
  
  
Ryoma's head landed with a soft thunk on the ground... 


	5. Switching Alliances

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:  
  
  
The Best Laid Plans  
  
  
Chapter Five "Switching Alliances"   
  
  
by Ryoma  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
"This is the best news I've heard since Lucas announced that Star Wars Episode Three was coming out next year," Kensuke said as he carefully typed an entry into his Palm to properly record the occasion. A slight breeze washed over the roof of the school as he placed his hand over the display to block the sunlight. Around him the sounds of the lunchtime crowd mixed with the day to day city life to create a steady, yet indistinguishable background noise. "I'm glad you came to your senses," he added while shutting off the device and putting it into his pocket. "What happened? Did the witch's enchantment wear off?"   
  
  
"No," Shinji replied, "Asuka didn't have some magic spell on me."  
  
  
"Did you stop taking drugs? Or perhaps did she stop GIVING you drugs?"  
  
  
"No," the Third sighed.  
  
  
"Were you having an out of body experience?" Kensuke pressed on, completely ignoring Shinji's head shaking rapidly back and forth in denial. "You know, those freaky one's where you're sitting in a folding chair on a dark theatre stage and you step back and analyze your life and stuff. I once had one of those...at the end everybody told me to 'Go to Hell'."  
  
  
"No...No...NO!" the dark-haired boy protested, "it's nothing like that." As he took a deep breath and prepared to explain the situation, Shinji caught sight of the other Stooge as he gazed out over the schoolyard below. His silent reaction to the news was quite uncharacteristic. "Hello, Touji...are you in there?"  
  
  
"Touji!" Kensuke shouted at the track-suited boy as he continued to ignore them. "Didn't you just hear what Shinji said?"  
  
  
An uneasy silence followed as Shinji and Kensuke turned to look at one another, both shrugging their shoulders in bewilderment as Touji stood with his back to them, leaning out just a bit with his hands on the railing.  
  
  
Kensuke prepared to ask the question again when Touji suddenly spun around, revealing a brilliant smile on his face. "Did I hear it? Did I hear it? Of course I heard it." He stepped forward between the two. "It's the single greatest thing these ears have ever heard!" Touji turned and faced the Third. "Could you..." he said as he put his arm on the pilot's shoulder, "please say it again...for me."  
  
  
Shinji cocked his head a bit to the side in bewilderment as he observed a single tear of joy trickle down Touji's cheek. The elation was evident on the jock's face as he silently nodded in encouragement for his request. Shrugging his shoulders, the Third Child complied. "Hello...are you in there?"  
  
  
"No!" Touji exclaimed, "not that one...the other one!"  
  
  
"You mean 'Asuka and I aren't going out anymore, we broke up this morning,' that one?"  
  
  
"Yes," came Touji's exasperated reply. "That one. Now say it again."  
  
  
"Um...I just did," Shinji said hesitantly.  
  
  
The taller boy scratched at the back of his head. "I guess you're right," he said before he pulled Shinji into an embrace. "I'm so happy..."  
  
  
"T...Touji," the Unit 01 pilot gasped," you're...squeezing me...too hard...can't...breathe."  
  
  
The eldest Suzahara child relaxed his grip just a bit. "Shinji?"   
  
  
"What?" came the meek reply as Shinji fought to regain his breath.  
  
  
"Could you say it again?"  
  
  
"Argh...I'm not going to say it again," Shinji groaned as he pushed free from Touji's grip. "You two guys are really sick, do you know that," he said as he turned away in disgust.  
  
  
"It's okay," Kensuke whispered to Touji. "I have it recorded right here," he said softly while pointing to his Palm. "I'll put it up on the website tonight," he added with a smile.  
  
  
Touji grinned and gave his partner the thumbs up before composing himself and stepping forward to address their friend. "I'm sorry, we'll never ask you to say it again."  
  
  
Shinji looked up and smiled. "Thanks. I was worried that you two would make a big deal out of this."  
  
  
"Who us?" Kensuke protested, his expression the epitome of innocence.  
  
  
"Well," Shinji said softly, "when we started going out you guys put up that stupid internet web page listing all kinds of reasons why you hate Asuka and why we would never make it as a couple."  
  
  
Touji chuckled as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "Heh..heh...you saw that?" Shinji nodded in response. "Well it was all a joke really...and...um...how did you find out about it?"  
  
  
"When Kensuke emailed you the address you must have accidentally forwarded it to the entire class."  
  
  
Touji's jaw dropped as an embarrassed blush formed on his cheeks. Looking over he saw a very foul expression appear behind his friend's glasses. "Oops."  
  
  
"Asuka's right," Kensuke muttered as he stared at his embarrassed friend, "you really are a moron."  
  
  
"Soooooo...," Touji said, desperate to change the subject, "why did you break up?"  
  
  
"Yeah," Kensuke said joining his friend in standing in front of Shinji, "what happened?"  
  
  
Suddenly Touji's expression turned irate. "Did she try to force herself on you?"  
  
  
"No," Shinji replied.  
  
  
"Did she beat you up?" Kensuke inquired.  
  
  
"No, she didn't beat me up," the Third laughed.  
  
  
Touji looked at Shinji for a moment, his mind deep in thought. "Did she catch you in bed with...Rei?" he said with a smirk.   
  
  
"No."  
  
  
"Or Misato perhaps?" Touji quickly added.  
  
  
"No, it's nothing like that!"   
  
  
"Well something happened...did you catch HER in bed with Misato?" Kensuke pondered.  
  
  
"What?" Shinji exclaimed as the line of questioning began to take a strange turn.   
  
  
"Maybe you caught her in bed with Kaji?" Touji said remembering the Second's infatuation with the man.  
  
  
"Or with Rei and Kaji?" Kensuke said excitedly as he abandoned the realm of plausible pairings with ever increasing speed. "Or Rei and Misato...yes Rei and Misato would be NICE."  
  
  
"No, No, NO!" Shinji cried. "It was..."  
  
  
"What are you, STUPID?" Kensuke said, cutting him off. "You don't think getting Rei and Misato in the sack would be nice?"  
  
  
"No...I mean yes...I mean...," the Eva pilot stammered as he listened to the others continue to develop random pairings.  
  
  
"Rei, Misato, and Dr. Akagi," Kensuke offered.  
  
  
"Better still," Touji interjected, "me, Rei, Misato, Dr. Akagi, and...that cute NERV tech...what's her name?"   
  
  
"Her name is Maya," Kensuke said quickly as visions of the young woman suddenly filled his thoughts. "Hey Shinji, should a chance be taken on her too?"  
  
  
"Would you guys stop it!" Shinji protested loudly. "Nobody caught anybody in bed with anyone."  
  
  
Kensuke shook his head slowly from side to side. "How boring."   
  
  
Shinji took a few steps forward and gazed out over the busy schoolyard below. Taking a deep breath he decided to end the speculation. "Asuka asked me to do something that I refused to do."  
  
  
"So she did force herself on you!" Touji said loudly, making a fist and slamming it into his free hand. "She is scum to take advantage of someone as helpless as you." He continued to pump his fist as he spoke. "I mean YOU would never take advantage of her if she was helpless...it makes me so mad."  
  
  
"I'd like to whack her a few good ones," Kensuke interjected. "Whack her good."  
  
  
"You've got it wrong," Shinji said softly and then cleared his throat before continuing. "Asuka didn't take our relationship seriously. To her it was all a big game. She wanted to see how upset she could make you guys and get more attention rather then spending time with me."  
  
  
"I told you that girl was all wrong for you," Touji said with a smile.  
  
  
Shinji nodded in approval. "I guess you two were right all along."  
  
  
"Of course we were," Kensuke said. "So what happens now?"  
  
  
"Well we'll still live together and stuff, but the relationship part of it is over. As for me I'll move on and go back to my old self again."  
  
  
"Good, you can start by coming to the arcade with me and Touji after school."  
  
  
"Yeah," Touji said as he turned around and leaned back against the railing next to Shinji. "Who needs girls when you have us."  
  
  
The Eva Pilot hung his head down until his chin rested on the railing and stared down at the ground far below. After a few moments of silent reflection he turned to his left and observed Touji carefully studying something he dug out of his nose. Fighting back the nausea he quickly turned to the right and watched Kensuke clean his glasses, all the while murmuring something about Misato, Rei, and Asuka and whether his bed could accommodate all of them. With an audible sigh, Shinji decided staring at the ground offered the best solution for the time being. "No offense guys," he said without bothering to look up, "but I actually LIKED having a girlfriend. Even if it wasn't real, it was fun."  
  
  
"But that's not reality!" Touji clamored, "you're just running away from the truth!"  
  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry...," Touji replied, "I heard somebody say that during the final episode of my favorite anime series and I always wanted to use it." He paused for a moment as he regarded the puzzled looks on his colleagues. "So...you'd rather have a girlfriend then hang out with us?" he said as he flipped his wrist rapidly in an attempt to dislodge something on his finger. "I'm hurt."  
  
  
"No," Shinji replied as he watched his friend and his futile attempts to clean his finger without touching it, "I like hanging out with you guys, but there are benefits to having a girlfriend too."  
  
  
"Are you saying that you want another girlfriend?" Kensuke said as he too found Touji's antics to be almost hypnotic.  
  
  
"Maybe."  
  
  
"Don't give me that crap," Touji exclaimed as he finally ended up wiping his finger across the railing. "You've got your sights set on someone, don't you?"  
  
  
Shinji paused for a moment as he stared at the biological hazard, waiting for any sign of his friend was actually going to remove it. Deciding that Touji was intent on leaving the booby trap in place, Shinji made a quick mental note never to use the railings in school ever again. "Well...not so much a girlfriend...or anything...um...serious like that," he stammered, "but just...well...maybe...um...someone to talk to or something..."  
  
  
"Who?" the other two Stooges said in unison.  
  
  
"I'd rather not say, just yet..." Shinji replied, "I want to ask her out first." He watched as his friends nodded in agreement, though the looks on their faces conveyed some level of annoyance in his secrecy. "But let me ask you both a question," Shinji said softly.  
  
  
"Sure," Touji said answering for both.  
  
  
"Are either of you interested in anyone? I mean I don't want anyone to get mad at me for asking out a girl that they wanted to."  
  
  
"Nope," Kensuke replied, "I've got over eight terabytes of women in storage, so as long as my computer and Palm holds out that should keep me occupied until my early twenties."  
  
  
An eerie calm fell over the entire region as even the steady drone of the cicadas seemed to come to a sudden stop, the resulting silence giving an almost ethereal feel to the moment. It would forever be known as the Second Day that Tokyo-3 Stood Still. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of two young boy's bodies hitting the floor with a crash.   
  
  
"O...okay," Shinji hesitantly started as he staggered to his feet and brushed himself off. "That's good to know but I was actually talking about REAL girls," he said while turning and looking at Touji. "Maybe even a girl at this school?"   
  
  
Touji continued to stare blankly at Kensuke, his mouth hanging open in amazement at his friend's candor, and the fact he was still struggling to get past the net nanny software his sister had accidentally installed from her Cosmo Ranger Tubbies site. To this point he had only been able to download a GIF file of an old lady in speedos. "What?" he said, finally noticing Shinji's inquisitive gaze.  
  
  
"Are you interested in any girls here at school?" Shinji reiterated.  
  
  
"I got plenty of chicks," Touji said with a smile as he turned to his spectacled friend, "real ones."  
  
  
"Oh really," Kensuke said mockingly. "Where?"  
  
  
The track suited boy held his hand out and began flipping out and pointing to each finger, one at a time as he rattled off his roster. "I got a girl in Tokyo-2, and another in New Kobe. Plus there is this one hottie who works as a massage therapist at the Kodai Resort and Spa, not to mention all the one night stands."   
  
  
"One night stands?" Shinji said.  
  
  
"Sure, you know how it is. I'm fighting them off with a stick." The other two boys watched as Touji began to flex his muscles in front of them. "All the girlies want a piece of the Suzahara!"  
  
  
"Hey...stud," Kensuke called out sarcastically, "how come we've never met any of these girls?"  
  
  
"Oh...um...well," Touji stammered showing none of his earlier bravado. "Like I said they're all in different towns and besides I can't let them see me hanging around with a couple of dorks like you two."  
  
  
"Hey!" Shinji protested.  
  
  
"Sorry," Touji said apologetically, "you know what I mean."  
  
  
"Actually I don't," Kensuke said as he pushed his glasses back up his nose, "but it doesn't matter because I don't believe a word you said anyway...and I don't think Shinji does either."  
  
  
"But it's all true, I tell you!" Touji said loudly. "I have proof."  
  
  
"You do?" the Third Child asked.  
  
  
"Yup, I have an upcoming date with an absolute angel in Matsushiro...I'll bring her to see you Shinji."   
  
  
"Sure you do," Kensuke quipped.  
  
  
Touji's arm shot out and grasped the boy's throat. "I DO have a date with an angel and if you don't shut up I'll snap your little neck."  
  
  
"Ok...okay," he meekly replied as he felt the grip begin to loosen. "I believe you."  
  
  
Shinji waited until his friend seemed to calm down before he asked the question again. "Apart from all these other...girls, is there anybody in class that you like?"  
  
  
"Well," he said as his face started to flush. "There might be one person..."  
  
  
"Who? Who?" Kensuke begged as he gave Touji a curious stare. Realizing that his internal blush was rapidly becoming external, the taller boy quickly turned away to avoid any further embarrassment. "Come on! Spill!"  
  
  
Touji took a deep breath and released it with a sigh. "Nobody."  
  
  
"Huh...did you say nobody?" Shinji said, leaning forward to aid in his hearing.  
  
  
"Yes...nobody," Touji said softly as he hung his head just a bit.  
  
  
"That's what I thought," Kensuke said with a smile. "The great Touji Suzahara wouldn't demean himself by going out with any girls in our class."  
  
  
Touji continued to stare down to the ground below with his back to the others. His head seemed to unconsciously shake back and forth although the pained expression on his face gave the distinct impression that his internal struggle would not be solved so quickly.  
  
  
"Are you sure?" Shinji asked softly noticing his friend's plight.  
  
  
"I told you, he wouldn't be caught dead with any of those pigs," the smaller boy said matter of factly.  
  
  
The Eva Pilot glared at the boy. "Are these the same "pigs" that you sent a mass emailing to requesting a date with any one of them, no questions asked?"  
  
  
"What? ...that," Kensuke said with a laugh, "it was a JOKE...ha, ha."  
  
  
"Funny, you told me you were using the theory of 'They ALL Can't Say No'," Touji said as he turned to face them. "What happened...was your theory proven wrong?"   
  
  
"Hey!" Kensuke protested loudly, "that theory was proven sound in the July 2014 issue of Playboy and besides that I'm not on trial here, you are."  
  
  
"What are you talking about?" Touji said bewilderedly.   
  
  
"The question here is whether or not you like a girl in our class, not my dating methods. Right Shinji?" The aforementioned boy nodded his head in agreement. "Good, now answer the question."  
  
  
"No one," Touji declared loudly, "there is no one in the class that I like or am interested in dating." He crossed his arms on his chest as he gave Kensuke an evil stare before finishing his comments. "Are you happy now?"  
  
  
"I rest my case," Kensuke smiled.  
  
  
"Fine," Shinji sighed as he acknowledged the verdict, "I was only asking."  
  
  
"Great," Touji said as he smiled at the two relieved for now that the questioning was over, "now lets get back to celebrating Shinji's return to bachelorhood."  
  
  
"A potentially short stay," Kensuke reasoned out loud, "or did you forget that he is already looking to get hooked up again?"  
  
  
"That's right," Touji said emphatically, his memories of the original argument returning. "Who's the lucky girl?" he said pondering the potential answers for a moment before offering a suggestion. "Is it Rei?" he said with a twinge of hopeful enthusiasm. "Or maybe Ryoko? She's hot!"  
  
  
Shinji shook his head as in the background the bell rang signaling it was time for the students to return to class. "You are just going to have to wait and see," he said with a smirk as he turned and began walking towards the stairs. "You'll see..." was all he would say before the smile faded into a grimace as he looked down at his hand firmly grasping the railing where Touji had been standing...   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Rise...bow...dismissed."  
  
  
Hikari stood and spoke those familiar words as the school day ended. It was an age-old expression handed down from generation to generation and to each the meaning was the same. 'Ready...set...go.' The class rep barely had time to move aside as most of the class rushed towards the exit, anxious to achieve their freedom after a grueling day of schoolwork. Within moments the majority of the students had funneled out, leaving only six behind as a calm settled over the room.  
  
  
Rei slowly and deliberately packed her books, stealing glances from time to time as the others converged at the front of the room. She continued with her role of silent observer as the drama unfolded before her.  
  
  
"Asuka," Hikari called, pulling the redhead aside. "What happened between you and Shinji?"  
  
  
"Nothing," she frowned, "he's just a big jerk, that's all."  
  
  
"Come on, I'm supposed to be your best friend," she said, then paused and glanced around to ensure they had some privacy. "You can tell me."  
  
  
Asuka hesitated for a moment as she watched Rei continue to arrange her book bag. "Well...okay," she whispered but not before checking one last time that Ayanami was indeed not eavesdropping. "He tried to make a fool out of me the other night at dinner."  
  
  
"He did?" Hikari said softly, "I can't believe Shinji would ever do anything like that."  
  
  
"He did," Asuka nodded, "and right in front of Kaji, Misato and Wondergirl."  
  
  
"Oh my," the freckled girl gasped, "what did he do? It must have been pretty bad."  
  
  
"It was," Asuka said flatly. The angry expression on her face softened a bit as she continued. "He refused me. Can you believe that weak little spineless Shinji Ikari refused ME?"   
  
  
Hikari pondered her friend's statement for a moment. "So let me get this straight...you and Shinji broke up because he REFUSED you?" She watched as the Second Child nodded slightly in agreement. "And you broke up over THAT?" Again the girl waited for her friend to signal her acceptance before proceeding. "That sound's pretty STUPID if you ask me."  
  
  
Asuka's jaw dropped at the comment. "But you don't understand," she protested, "Shinji ruined all my plans when he refused to help me." Asuka took a moment to review her next choice of words, not wanting to accidentally reveal too much information about what those plans actually were. "I don't want to get into the specifics, but suffice to say that he had a good thing going with me and he chose to throw it all away."  
  
  
"Too bad," Hikari said after deciding not to press for more on Asuka's cryptic explanation. "I thought you two made the perfect couple."  
  
  
"Never," Asuka said shaking her head, "I'll never forgive that dork...NEVER." Her face contorted into a sneer as Shinji and his friends approached. "What do you want?" she huffed.  
  
  
"Look Shinji," Touji snickered, "it's your former girlfriend."   
  
  
"Hikari, is it me or did it just get a whole lot dumber over here?" the German girl retorted, eliciting a little smile which her companion quickly turned away in an attempt to hide.  
  
  
"EXcuse me?" Kensuke said, carefully emphasizing the first syllable. "I should have EXpected such an EXaggerated EXpression from someone who has gone through the pain of EXpulsion."  
  
  
"Yeah," Touji added, "you...EX...EX...Ex-girlfriend!"  
  
  
Kensuke slapped himself on the forehead and silently wished his friend would sometimes just shut up.  
  
  
"Wunderbar," Asuka said with a sigh as she pointed to the smaller boy. "This moron is up to 'e' in the dictionary," her arm panned over until it was aimed directly at Touji. "While this idiot is still trying to figure out how to open the book."  
  
  
"Oh the wails of the scorned lover," Kensuke offered, lowering his head and shaking it back and forth in mourning. "It's really quite sad."  
  
  
"That's it!" the Second exclaimed as she gathered up her belongings and pushed past the laughing duo. Reaching the door, she flung it opened and prepared to leave. Standing in the doorway she stopped and turned around, immediately focusing on one person still in the room, Shinji Ikari. For a few long moments the two pilots continued to stare at one another, each seeming to be awaiting the other to say the first word. "Fine," she finally said, then turning on her heal she exited the room.  
  
  
"Asuka," Hikari called out desperately as the Second Child slammed the door behind her. "You're supposed to help me clean...today," she said, her voice trailing off as she realized Asuka wasn't coming back. "Great," she mumbled as she turned back toward the others. "I don't suppose any of you would like to help?"  
  
  
"No way," Touji said shaking his head and holding his hands out in front of him. "We had clean up duty last week."  
  
  
"Please Touji," Hikari pleaded, "for me?"  
  
  
The track-suited boy's throat instantly went dry as he saw the wanting look in her eyes, begging him not to abandon her. If ever there was going to be a time to make his move, this was going to be it.  
  
  
"Come on, Touji...we have to go," Kensuke said coldly as he started toward the exit. "It's not our job to clean this place up and she can't make us." He watched as Touji turned his gaze away from the girl and squarely at him, only to have him break that stare and return to the girl. He repeated this a couple of times before Kensuke decided to press the issue. "Are you coming or not?"  
  
  
"I'm...sorry," he said regretting the words the instant he saw their effect on the young girl. The hope in her eyes now replaced with despair, he was forced to walk away before they wounded him further.   
  
  
"Thanks for nothing," she muttered as she pushed by them and walked to the front of the room. Reflecting on the task before her she sighed. With two people the job took about an hour, but as she knew from experience, alone it would take almost three. And the worst part of doing it alone, she remembered, wasn't the time so much as the loneliness of having no one to talk to pass the time. Glancing over her shoulder she just caught sight of Touji, head hung low as he passed by the out the door. Sure, doing all the cleaning alone was going to seem like an eternity, but at least the added time would help her forget about the big jerk. Without bothering to turn around she heard some whispering, followed by the classroom door opening and shutting, confirming that indeed the cleaning tasks were all hers. Fighting back a tear she slowly dipped a cloth into the bucket and wrung it dry.  
  
  
"Mind if I help?"  
  
  
The rag fell back into the bucket with splash as the startled class rep gazed up to determine the source of the question. "S...Shinji. What are you doing here?"  
  
  
He crouched down and reached into the bucket. "I thought you might want some help," he said with a smile as he wrung the moisture from the rag. "That's okay isn't it?"  
  
  
"Um...yeah...sure I guess," she stammered as she watched him stand and walk over to the board.   
  
  
"Good then it's settled," he said as he started wiping off the day's lessons.  
  
  
Hikari reached into the bucket and grabbed the other wash rag. Her mouth turned upward ever so slightly as she watched her companion diligently working. "Thanks," she said softly as she stood and joined him.  
  
  
She carefully placed the cloth to the board and prepared to begin when she quickly turned around and scanned the empty classroom. "Hey Shinji," she said with a puzzled look in her face, "what happened to Rei? I thought she was standing at her desk?"  
  
  
"Hey you're right," he replied as he stopped and inspected the room for himself.   
  
  
"Funny, I never heard or saw her leave," the freckled face girl offered.  
  
  
A memory resurfaced in Shinji's mind, his first recollection of his time spent so far in Tokyo-3. "Rei has a habit of coming and going like that," he said with a smile.   
  
  
The two continued their task in silence, each occasionally stealing quick glimpses of the other as the afternoon wore on. The sun had not yet started to dip behind the mountains surrounding the city, yet it's angle in the sky was already casting long shadows in the classroom.  
  
  
"Shinji," Hikari said breaking the quiet calm, "how come you didn't go with the others?"  
  
  
He finished the last section of the board and dropped his rag into the bucket at his feet. "I didn't really want to go," he said as he wiped the sweat from his brow with his sleeve. "Besides it's not fair that you have to do this all by yourself."  
  
  
"That's very nice of you, Shinji," she said softly. "Thank you again."  
  
  
"Don't mention it," he replied, his smile soliciting a blush in return from the girl. Quickly turning away, she stared out the window for a few moments.  
  
  
"Well...we better get back to work or we will be here all night."  
  
  
"Yes, you're right."  
  
  
Again an uneasy silence descended on the room as each went about their own tasks. Shinji had just finished sweeping the floor when he felt a presence behind him.  
  
  
"Shinji? Do you mind if I ask you about Asuka?"  
  
  
"Not at all," he responded without bothering to turn around. Placing the broom back into the closet he closed the door and faced the girl. "What do you want to know?"  
  
  
"Well...um...I," she stammered, fidgeting with her hair, obviously quite uncomfortable with talking about personal matters. "I just wondered...well...why did you two break up?"  
  
  
"Break up," Shinji reiterated in a mocking tone. "You actually have to be going out to break up." The confused look on the girl's face convinced him to continue. "Can you keep a secret?" he whispered despite the fact the no one else was present. After watching the class rep nod in approval, he resumed. "We weren't really dating, at least not in the way you all thought."  
  
  
"Wait a minute, if you weren't dating, then what exactly were you doing?" Hikari exclaimed.  
  
  
Shinji lowered his gaze, choosing to stare at the floor rather then be forced to look at the agitated young woman. "Asuka was mad at Misato...and came up with this plan and...well, it sort of got out of control."  
  
  
"What?"  
  
  
"I'm sorry," Shinji said, slowly shaking his head from side to side as he spoke. "It was all just a big joke that she was playing on everyone. It wasn't real...I'm sorry."  
  
  
Hikari stood frozen, her mouth agape in astonishment of his admission. "Why that little...," she huffed clenching her fists and shaking them by her side. "Oooh, that makes me so mad! To think that she claims to be my best friend. Wait until I see her, I'll..."  
  
  
Her tirade was cut short as Shinji placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure that Asuka didn't mean to hurt you," he said staring into her eyes. "You know how she gets."  
  
  
"I know," Hikari nodded in response as she calmed down a bit, "but she could have told ME." Turning around she eased past a desk and began walking toward the front of the classroom. "Wait until I talk to her about this."   
  
  
"You can't do that!" Shinji cried as he quickly strode up next to her. "She'll kill me if she knew I told...and you said you could keep a secret."  
  
  
Hikari stopped and looked at him. "But that's not fair. On the one hand she says she's my friend and yet she goes off and makes a fool out of me...and I'm supposed to let her get away with it and act like nothing happened?"  
  
  
Shinji nodded. "What good is it going to do either of us if you confront her? She'll just deny it and get all defensive."  
  
  
"But it's still not right."  
  
  
"I know that but could you imagine if the others knew the truth? She would be humiliated," he replied. Taking a moment to allow Hikari enough time to review his comments, Shinji continued. "Please don't say anything to her."  
  
  
The class rep thought for a moment. "Fine, I'll keep your secret...but that doesn't mean I have to like it...and," she said with a frown, "don't be surprised if I act a little different towards her from now on."  
  
  
"Fair enough," he smiled, "but deep down even you have to admit that Asuka is your friend and would never purposely hurt you."  
  
  
"I guess you're right," Hikari said softly.  
  
  
"Good," Shinji said as he turned and resumed walking toward the front of the room. "Let's get back to work or we'll be here all night."  
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Thanks again Shinji," Hikari said turning toward her companion as they stopped at the top of the stairs. All around them the halls were darkened and quiet, giving her voice a slight echo. "You're a real life saver."  
  
  
"It was nothing," he replied, taking a step down and turning back to look at her. "Since in a way it was my fault that Asuka ran off and left all the cleaning to you, it was the least I could do."  
  
  
"How was it your fault?" Hikari questioned as her face twisted into a small frown. "Seems to me that this was all her own doing."  
  
  
Shinji smiled, drawing a blush from the class rep. "Well she seems to think it's my fault...and you know how she gets if someone tells her she's wrong."  
  
  
"I sure do," the girl nodded, "but still it doesn't seem fair for her to blame you for something she did."  
  
  
"She'll call me 'stupid' and 'moron' for a few weeks, but eventually things will get back to normal," he said taking a few more steps down the stairs, watching her follow. "I'd think it's better for everyone this way."  
  
  
"Better for her maybe," Hikari said crossly, "but I still hate the fact she gets away with it."  
  
  
"We both know the truth, and that's all that matters," Shinji replied as he reached the last step. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore, can we drop it for now?"  
  
  
"Sure," the class rep said softly, "I'm sorry if I upset you."  
  
  
"No it's alright," he said, shaking his head. A moment or two of awkward silence followed before they both turned and started walking toward the front door of the school.   
  
  
"I still can't thank you enough for staying and helping me," she said glancing over her shoulder as the pair continued on. "I feel bad, I'm sure you would have rather gone to the arcade with the others."  
  
  
Shinji shook his head from side to side. "I already told you it was nothing." Reaching the front door, he jumped in front of the girl and held it open.  
  
  
"Thanks," she said with a smile. "You're a true gentleman."   
  
  
"You're welcome," came his brief reply as he allowed the door to close behind him and quickly caught up to the girl. After a few more steps they were at the front gate.  
  
  
The class rep turned and looked her companion in the eye. "Shinji, are you SURE there's nothing I can do to thank you for the help?"  
  
  
The Third Child placed his hand on his chin, testament to his deep concentration. "Well...um...there is...possibly...one thing," he stammered, lowering his gaze at the sidewalk below. "But...no I couldn't ask you."  
  
  
"No, it's okay...go ahead and ask," Hikari said quickly, "anything you want." As she finished her face flushed a deep shade of crimson at her open ended response. "Within reason," she hastily added, her dignity restored.   
  
  
"Oh no, nothing like that," Shinji said as he glimpsed her obvious discomfort. He smiled and paused for a moment to allow her to regain her composure. Lowering his gaze he began watching as his foot swung around aimlessly beneath him. "I just wondered if...perhaps...you would like to go to the movies tomorrow night?"  
  
  
"The movies?" she returned, startled initially by the request. "I don't know."  
  
  
"That's alright," Shinji sighed, "I should have figured you would be busy." He picked up his head and stared into her eyes for just a moment before turning and preparing to walk away.  
  
  
'Busy' Hikari thought to herself as visions of her past few Saturday nights replayed in her mind. 'Cooking, cleaning, homework...all wonderful activities to pass the time and solidify the fact you were all alone with no place to go.' Reaching out she grasped Shinji's shoulder. "It's not that I'm busy...quite the opposite."  
  
  
"Then what's wrong?" he said as he turned to face her again.  
  
  
"It's Asuka."  
  
  
"Asuka?" he replied curiously, "what's she got to do with it?"  
  
  
"Shinji," Hikari said through the wide smile on her face, "you have a lot to learn about women, don't you?" The Third simply shrugged his shoulders. "Can't you see that Asuka likes you?"  
  
  
"Likes me?" he chuckled, "you must be kidding. The only person Asuka Langley Sohryu likes is Mr. Kaji...and perhaps herself," he added with a frown.  
  
  
"You might be right," she nodded in agreement, "but I think some part of her might like you more then either of you realizes." The class rep turned away and she looked skyward as images of her own unrequited love appeared before her eyes. "You guys never see the signs," she whispered as the visions faded. "Believe me, I know."  
  
  
Shinji watched as the girl slowly lowered her head and after a few moments, turned to face him again. "So...that's why you don't want to go?"   
  
  
"Geez," Hikari said exasperatedly, "don't you understand. Asuka would be furious at me if I went on a date with you. Heck, I'm supposed to be hating you outright as it is. It's a girl thing Shinji. If I'd broken up with Tou-...somebody, I'd expect Asuka to immediately hate my ex too, no questions asked."  
  
  
"Really?"  
  
  
"Yes," she acknowledged with a nod, "it's an unwritten law, sort of like how girls never go the bathroom alone."  
  
  
"I never know that," Shinji replied as his mind drifted off on what other rules he was missing. "But I really don't care what she thinks," he said as he returned to the subject. Stepping a bit closer to his companion, he took a deep breath as he continued. "All I understand is that I wanted to ask you on a date. Not Asuka, you. And if you don't want to go with me that's fine...but please don't say no because of something Asuka may or may not do. Even if she does like me...though I doubt it...even if she does, it does not mean the feelings are mutual."  
  
  
The dark haired girl stood in shock as he finished his remarks. For a more then a few heartbeats she was reduced to staring into his deep blue eyes, her voice stolen by the truth in his commentary, and the emotional tug of war it was waging on her. "I...I...I can't," she sighed and frowned to match his. "I just can't." She contemplated for a moment whether or not to smooth over the situation with a lie, but decided that he deserved better. "Asuka is my friend...I'm sorry Shinji."  
  
  
The Third Child turned and started to walk away. "I'm sorry I brought it up," he said quietly, " I just hope that someday you'll realize that Asuka doesn't run my life." He took a few more steps down the sidewalk before he stopped and abruptly turned around. "Good night Hikari...and please, PLEASE, don't let Asuka know that I told you about the trick she played on you."  
  
  
"Yeah...sure, Shinji," she replied as she watched him turn and continue on his way. "Good night...and thanks again," she called out.   
  
  
The Unit 01 pilot slowly made his retreat down the street, under watchful eye of a freckled faced observer. Hikari hadn't planned standing there, but something was holding her, making her think about all that had happened in the past few hours. 'Poor kid,' she thought to herself, 'being used by Asuka like that. She can be so mean sometimes...not that I'm any better. Telling Shinji no just because I'm afraid to hurt Asuka's feelings. Why does she have to make things so hard?...I wish someone would stand up to her...' A brilliant smile grew on the girl's face as she started taking a few quick steps after the boy. "Hey Shinji!" she called out just before he turned the corner at the edge of the walled schoolyard. "Wait a minute!"  
  
  
Shinji stopped and turned around awaiting her arrival. Her ponytails were bouncing about, hanging momentarily in the air before crashing back to her shoulders with each step. Within a couple of seconds she was standing in front of him.   
  
  
"S...Shinji," she panted trying to catch her breath, "about the...movies tomorrow...I would love to...go."  
  
  
"Really?" he said anxiously, "what about Asuka?"  
  
  
"You were right," she said before drawing one final deep breath. "I shouldn't let Asuka make my decisions for me. If I want to go to the movies with a friend and she doesn't like it then too bad for her."  
  
  
"Great," he replied as his features brightened, "I'll be at your house about five tomorrow night to pick you up."   
  
  
"Five?" she questioned aloud, "that seems a bit early for a movie, doesn't it?"  
  
  
Shinji grinned. "I thought we could get some dinner first...at The Bistro de Second Impact...I heard the prime rib there is excellent."   
  
  
"I don't know," Hikari said her voice laced with apprehension. "That place is expensive...and besides," she continued with a frown, "isn't dinner AND a movie a bit much...I mean is this...well...a date?"  
  
  
"Well," he muttered as he looked away and pondered her words for a moment. "I guess technically it's a date, but if you would feel more comfortable we could call it something else."  
  
  
"No," she replied quickly as she fumbled with her pigtails. "I just...well...l...I...um..."  
  
  
"Hikari," Shinji said finally noticing her flustered expression, "if you don't want to go, I'll understand."  
  
  
"No, it's not that," she protested, taking a deep breath. "It's just that I'm not sure I'm ready for something as serious as a date."  
  
  
"I just want to go to dinner and see a movie with one of my friends. I'm not expecting any more then that. You don't have to worry about sending me the wrong message."  
  
  
The girl let out breath of relief and smiled. "Thanks Shinji. I was worried you were going to assume that we..."  
  
  
"Don't worry," he said, cutting her off, "I plan on enjoying a nice evening out, that's all."  
  
  
"I can agree to that," she said with a slight nod. "But wouldn't you rather go to some place less expensive. Asuka is always complaining how you pilots don't get paid."  
  
  
Shinji shook his head. "Money's not an issue," he said as a smile grew on his face. "I have it all taken care of."  
  
  
Hikari eyed him curiously for a moment. "Great then I'll be ready at five o'clock sharp," she said slinging her bookbag over her shoulder, "I had better get going, good bye Shinji." She turned for home and paused for a moment, allowing thoughts of tomorrow's events enter her mind. "This is so exciting. I've been dying to go to that place!" she exclaimed, "I can't wait."   
  
  
"See you tomorrow," he said as he watched her walk away, a little kick in her step. Smiling, the Eva pilot turned and continued on his own journey home.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Shinji walked briskly through the late afternoon crowds filling the sidewalks and curbside stands. The complete opposite to his first experience in Tokyo-3, he mused to himself as he recalled the way life used to be. During the beginning of the Angel War, he could enjoy almost complete freedom as he wondered the streets of the city. However the lack of any Angel activity in over a year and the increasing possibility that they weren't coming back had breathed new life into the city that was destined one day to be the new capital of Japan. Turning a corner he at last spied the large rectangular building that housed the apartment that he called home. His pace quickened, fueled by the anticipation of finally sitting down and relaxing after the long school day. A day made longer because of a certain fellow pilot...  
  
  
Suddenly a pair of arms shot out from behind him, one crossing his chest and the other covering his mouth effectively muffling his panicked scream. The assailant roughly pulled the struggling Eva pilot down a side alley, away from the watchful eyes of the men sworn to protect him. Fighting back as best he could, Shinji found himself hopelessly overmatched as finally the other person stopped, pulling the frightened boy in tight to eliminate the possibility of escape.  
  
  
"I am Tabris, the Angel of Death, and I am here to avenge the deaths of my brothers. Shinji Ikari, I have come to kill you!"  
  
  
The boy's eyes went wide with fear as he increased his struggle, unwilling to give up his life so easily.  
  
  
"I'm going to kill you," the stranger shouted, increasing their grip to counter Shinji's efforts to free himself. "I'll kill you, I'll kill you, kill you, I'll kill you, kill you..." they kept screaming, shaking him back and forth with each chorus. As this continued, the Third Child began to notice a particular tone to the voice, a distinctly European one at that. He slowly ceased his struggles as he at last recognized the now poorly disguised voice of the Second Child.  
  
  
"What's the matter?" she said while releasing him, "aren't you afraid that Tabris is going to kill you?"  
  
  
"Very funny Asuka," Shinji muttered as he turned away from her mocking grin. "I knew it was you."  
  
  
"Sure you did," she said sarcastically, crossing her arms on her chest. "I'm shocked you didn't wet yourself."  
  
  
Shinji bent down and started gathering his books, which were strewn about the alleyway during the struggle. Grabbing the last book he glanced up he noticed that the girl was still standing over him. "What do you want? he sighed.  
  
  
"Oh nothing really," she said nonchalantly, her eyes wandering about the alley as they took in the filth and garbage. Suddenly her glaze focused squarely on one thing, him. "I was just wondering why you are an hour late coming home."  
  
  
He left her statement hanging as he stood to better survey his situation. Glancing to the left and the right of the girl, Shinji noted there wasn't sufficient room to slip by and escape. She had chosen her trap wisely. Her tapping foot, hands parked squarely on hips and scowl reminded him that she was due an answer.  
  
  
"You were over at Wondergirl's again, weren't you?" she huffed.  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
"Yes you were."  
  
  
"No I wasn't," he said shaking his head in denial.  
  
  
"Yes you were."  
  
  
"I was not!"  
  
  
"Yes you were."  
  
  
"I was not!"  
  
  
"Yes you WERE!" she roared.  
  
  
"So what if I was?" came his indignant reply, tired of the game. "Why do you care?"   
  
  
For the second time in the past few minutes, Shinji's eyes widened in fear as something unexpected happened. The redhead stepped forward, closing the space between them until she was standing directly in front of him, her light blue eyes staring deeply into his own. He could feel the warmth of her breath as she spoke.  
  
  
"I'll bet you were over at Ayanami's apartment, making out with her...or perhaps more," Asuka said softly, her voice very much different then her usual tone.   
  
  
Shinji closed his eyes, unable to bare her gaze any longer as he shook his head in denial. "I...."  
  
  
"Tell me Shinji," she interrupted, leaning in still closer. "Did she show you her panties? Does she let you touch her...there?"   
  
  
"W...what?" the Third Child stuttered as he slowly opened his eyes and noticed that the girl was moving in still closer to him. Fighting to keep a constant distance between them, he began leaning backwards as the she spoke again in that soft, sexy voice.  
  
  
"I'm better then her," she cooed as her eyes again locked on his. "I'll show you my panties AND let you touch me anywhere you like."  
  
  
Shinji gulped audibly. "You would?"  
  
  
Asuka's face brushed by his as she whispered into his ear. "I won't tease you like she does." She pulled back, again brushing his cheek as she resumed staring into his deep blue eyes. He flinched nervously as she ran her hands up his chest and onto his shoulders. "Oh Shinji," she whispered seductively, "please tell me I'm not too late...please tell me you haven't given your heart to someone else."  
  
  
"Um...well...I," he stammered, his trembling lips sabotaging any attempts at speech.  
  
  
"PLEASE tell me," she cried, closing her eyes and shaking her head back and forth in apparent distress. "Shinji I HAVE to know...have I lost you to the First?"   
  
  
"Er...no."   
  
  
"So," she said her tone not quite as silky as before. "You haven't been fooling around with Rei?"  
  
  
"No," he said curiously as he found himself leaning forward, closing the gap between them, his lips becoming dangerously close to touching hers. "Why do you..."  
  
  
His question was cut short as her hand covered his mouth. "You pervert," she clamored as she used her hand to turn his head away from hers. "You're just DYING to check out my body, aren't you Third Child?"  
  
  
Pulling free from her, Shinji stepped back and looked at the girl, a conceited smirk dominating her expression. "But...you...I mean...you...asked me," he sputtered.  
  
  
"Me? Ask you? Never," she growled, flipping her long red hair off her shoulder. "Like I would ever let a boring little boy like you have your way with this perfect body." Her smirk faded into a frown as she sighed, "sometimes I don't know why I put up with you."  
  
  
"You put up with ME!" he shrieked as he felt the anger building. "You put up with ME!"  
  
  
"Yes that's what I said, jeez are you deaf too?" she muttered, turning away in mock disgust.  
  
  
"I...I...ARGH!" Shinji screamed, dropping his books to the ground again as his fists clenched and opened furiously.   
  
  
The Second Child stood and listened, her back to her fellow pilot as his face turned bright red, steam threatening at any moment to burst forth from his ears. Her smirk returned as she listened to his rapid breathing and incoherent mumbling for a few minutes, before the sounds died down and she deemed it safe to continue.   
  
  
"Now that we have that little unpleasantness out of the way," she grinned as she turned around to face him. "Let's return to the original question, shall we? Where have you been for the past hour?"  
  
  
"At school," Shinji grumbled as he bent down to pick up his books.   
  
  
"Really?" she replied, her gaze looking down at the boy. "What were you doing there?"  
  
  
"I think you know," he said as he finished gathering his supplies and stood before her.  
  
  
Asuka stood with her hand on her chin, deep in thought. "No, I actually don't know what you were doing," she said coolly. "Tell me who you were with and maybe I can figure it out."  
  
  
"This is stupid," he said crossly and started to push by her towards the busy street beyond.  
  
  
"Wait," she said, her hand grasping his arm and pulling him to a stop. "Who was it?"  
  
  
Shinji glanced down at her hand and frowned. "Hikari," he said softly.  
  
  
"Did you say Hikari?" she exclaimed, "just what were you two doing all alone in the school?"  
  
  
He glanced over at her wry grin and pulled his arm free of her grasp. "Taking care of YOUR cleaning job," he said, staring at her for a moment before turning and continuing towards the street.  
  
  
"Oh that," she said as she followed him around the corner and down the sidewalk. "Your stupid friends made me so mad that I completely forgot. I hope she's not mad at me..."  
  
  
Shinji glanced over and smiled. "Don't worry, Asuka. I saved you again. The Invincible Shinji took care of everything...as usual."  
  
  
The girl stopped in her tracks, her jaw dropping as she watched him walk away. Standing in stunned silence she wondered what brought about his confident attitude. "Listen here Third Child," she exclaimed as she ran after him, "I don't need you to take care of me...I don't need anybody."  
  
  
"Whatever," he grumbled.  
  
  
The two continued down the sidewalk in silence, occasionally stealing sour glances at one another.   
  
  
"So, Shinji," the redhead started as they walked through the entrance to their apartment building. "What did you and Hikari talk about?"  
  
  
"Nothing much," he replied, pushing the elevator button as they stood in front of the doors. Glancing up he sighed as he watched the numbers counting upward, meaning he would have to tolerate even more questioning before relief arrived.  
  
  
"Really," she said suspiciously, "I mean even someone as inept at conversion as you must have talked about SOMETHING, after all you two were all alone for over an hour."  
  
  
Shinji glanced to his right, contemplating taking the stairs. "Well we talked about the usual stuff, school, homework," he said nervously. "Swapped some cooking recipes."  
  
  
"School, cooking...all pretty boring," Asuka huffed as she watched him fidget about uneasily. "Is that all you talked about?"  
  
  
Shinji stared at the sliding doors of the elevator in front of him. "Stupid thing," he said glancing up and checking the floor indicator again.  
  
  
Asuka watched him desperately mashing the button, sensing his urgency that the car arrive as soon as possible. "So, what else did you talk about?"  
  
  
"Um...well..." he stammered when suddenly the doors parted and he jumped inside. "Finally," he said loudly as he pressed the button for their floor and sulked back into the corner.  
  
  
The doors slowly began to shut, nearly touching before a hand wedged between them, tripping the safety mechanism and reversing their direction. The Second Child silently stepped in the car and the doors shut behind her.  
  
  
Never turning around, she stared directly at him as the car lurched into motion, beginning its ascent. The only sound was the hum of the elevator machinery as it pulled them upward. Asuka's gaze never moved, her eyes holding him as he fought their spell. Glancing down he noticed her hand open as she raised her arm, drawing it back and high over her head. Shinji swallowed hard and pressed himself into the corner as fall as possible as he had seen this before. Realizing that escape was impossible, he closed his eyes and set his jaw, preparing to absorb the imminent slap.   
  
  
Asuka smirked as she watched him cower away. Bring her arm around rapidly, her fingers missed his face by millimeters as she slammed the emergency stop button, shattering the silence of the cabin as the alarm starting ringing. "Now," she said loudly, "what were my best friend and housemate talking about for over an hour?" Removing her hand from the control panel she pointed an accusing finger at the boy. "And don't give me that cooking crap."   
  
  
Shinji stared at the floor for a moment, shaking his head slightly from side to side. "Why do you ask questions that you already know the answer," he sighed.  
  
  
"Because I like to see you squirm," she said with a smile. "So everything went as planned?"  
  
  
"Yes," he nodded, gazing up to look her in the eye. "We're going for dinner and a movie tomorrow night."  
  
  
"Dinner!" she exclaimed, "that wasn't part of the deal. You were only supposed to go to the movies."  
  
  
"She insisted. I had no choice...she said she wouldn't go unless dinner was included."  
  
  
"Great," Asuka sighed as she rolled her eyes. "It figures that I would have to team up with someone who is such a dork that he has to bribe girls with dinner to get them to go out with him. If I knew that I could have used Aida."   
  
  
"Sorry," Shinji replied softly.  
  
  
"Well I never agreed to pay for dinner, that's your problem."  
  
  
"I can't," he said shaking his head, "I don't have any money left. If you don't pay I will have to cancel the date."  
  
  
"Mein Gott," she groaned, "the length's I go to help my friends...fine, I'll foot the bill but nothing extravagant. McDonalds is a great first date spot."  
  
  
"Actually...um...Hikari already decided she wanted to go to...well...The Bistro de Second Impact," Shinji said nervously.  
  
  
"THAT BITCH!" Asuka screamed, "this is going to cost me a fortune! Do something, talk her out of it."   
  
  
The Third Child looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. "She insisted."  
  
  
"I can't believe this," she exclaimed, "Hikari had better appreciate everything I'm doing for her."  
  
  
"I'm sure she will," Shinji said with a smile.   
  
  
"Yeah, well just make sure you stick with the plan," Asuka said calmly. "One date, just to make that moron Suzahara realize how stupid he is."  
  
  
"Yes," he nodded, "I know the plan."   
  
  
"Good," she replied, pressing the emergency button and causing the elevator to start its journey again. "I knew I could count on you."  
  
  
"And don't forget," Shinji said flatly, "you owe me a favor once this is all over."  
  
  
"I remember," Asuka said with a frown, "you have only reminded me about ten times."  
  
  
"Just making sure."  
  
  
"What are you going to want me to do for this favor, anyway?" she inquired.  
  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
  
"You had better not even think about trying to use this body," she muttered.  
  
  
"It's nothing like that," Shinji replied as the elevator rumbled to a halt. The doors slowly opened and he stepped through. "I promise."   
  
  
Asuka watched as he started walking away. "Really, you aren't going to ask me to do something nasty?" she said as she started after him.  
  
  
"No, Asuka," he said as they approached the door to the apartment. "And don't sound so depressed."  
  
  
"Huh...what?" she said, caught off guard as he unlocked the door and opened it. Stepping through the doorway he continued down the hall and out of sight as she stood outside thinking about what his favor could possibly be if it didn't involve her body. "Hey," she cried out finally recalling what he had just said, "wait until I get my hands on you Third Child!"   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Food's here."  
  
  
Asuka jumped off the couch and sprinted into kitchen, narrowly missing the squawking bird at her feet. "Thank goodness...I'm starving!"   
  
  
"Well," Misato said with a smile as she placed a brown paper bag on the center of the table, "since Shinji is out on his date tonight and you hate my cooking, I stopped off at the store and grabbed us something quick and easy for dinner."   
  
  
The redhead watched as her guardian instinctively opened to the refrigerator, fumbled about for a moment and returned to the table with two cans of soda. "Are you out of beer?" Asuka inquired as the purple haired woman sat down across from her.  
  
  
"What? This?" she replied motioning to the can. "No, I just figured I would try to cut back a little." She watched as the younger girl eyed her curiously. "Okay, fine," she snapped, "my uniform is getting a bit tight...happy now?" She watched as the Second nodded in agreement. "Light beer, my ass..." she mumbled almost incoherently.   
  
  
"So what did you get?" Asuka said motioning toward the bag between them.  
  
  
"I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I got a couple of different things. You pick which one you want and I'll take what's left."  
  
  
"Okay," Asuka said as she grabbed the bag and pulled it toward her. Reaching in she could feel something cold and damp. Firmly grasping it she removed it from the bag. "Guido-san's Carbonated Pizza Concentrate," she read off the label, "now with more sausage extract." She frowned and placed the item down on the table before reaching back into the sack. "Ronald's Liquefied Hamburger Paste," she said as she examined the bottle in her hand. "Buns sold separately."   
  
  
"I know how much you like pizza and fast food..."  
  
  
"I used to," Asuka said softly as she pushed the items away and smiled at Misato. "How about we go out and get some real food?"  
  
  
"Nice try, Asuka," the older woman replied shaking her head. "You know you're grounded for your little escapade. What kind a parent would I be if I didn't punish you?"  
  
  
"How come Shinji didn't get punished too? You never punish him because he's your favorite...it's always me!"   
  
  
Misato smiled at her charge. "We both know who the mastermind behind the plan was. He was only following YOUR lead...and besides I'm glad he is finally going on a real date. It might do his confidence some good."  
  
  
"It's not fair," Asuka grumbled, looking away. "That dork is enjoying a gourmet meal and I'm stuck with this crap."  
  
  
"I'm sorry you don't like the selection, but this was all I could afford."  
  
  
"What? How much do they pay you at NERV?" Asuka inquired.   
  
  
"I make plenty," Misato said defiantly, "but for some reason lately I keep misplacing my cash...and you know how bad my credit is. Now pick one...I'm hungry."  
  
  
Asuka carefully weighed her options. After a moments thought she finally spoke. "The pizza I guess."  
  
  
"Fine," the Major replied as she handed the girl her meal before opening her own. The two sat in silence for a few moments, Asuka staring blankly at her "food" while her companion shoveled spoonful after spoonful into her mouth. "I don't know why they suggest using a bun," Misato mumbled, her mouth thoroughly clogged with the pinkish goo. "Tastes just fine straight out of the jar."   
  
  
"Hey Misato," Asuka said cheerily, "wouldn't you like to wash that down with a beer?"  
  
  
"Nice try," the woman returned mockingly, "I'm sure you aren't trying to get me drunk so you can sneak out and spy on a certain young couple?"  
  
  
"Who...me?" the Second replied innocently, "why should I care what that idiot and Hikari are doing?"  
  
  
"Exactly right, you shouldn't," Misato said with a smile, "now take your straw and drink your pizza before it gets flat."  
  
  
Asuka stared down at the can before her and prepared to open it when a ringing phone shattered the evening calm. "I'll get it," she shouted as she jumped up and ran over to the counter. "Hello?" the girl said, expected although not receiving any reply. "HELLO?" she repeated loudly after waiting a few moments, "who is this?"  
  
  
"May I speak with Ikari?" a soft voice finally questioned.   
  
  
The Unit 02 pilot frowned as she recognized the voice. "His name is Shinji, Wondergirl...and no you may not."  
  
  
"Why not?" came the brief reply.  
  
  
"Because he's not here," Asuka said with a smirk, "that's why not."  
  
  
"I see," Rei said calmly, "may I inquire where he is?"  
  
  
"You may," the Second said derisively and waited for the First to pose the question again.  
  
  
The phone line was silent for over a minute before the blue haired girl reluctantly agreed to play the game. "Where is Ika...I mean where is Shinji?"  
  
  
"He's on a date with Hikari," Asuka said matter of factly.  
  
  
"I see," Rei replied.  
  
  
"What's the matter, Rei...jealous?" the redhead said mockingly.  
  
  
"Should I be?" The line went quiet for a moment as the First seemed to ponder that answer. "Are you?"   
  
  
"What are you, stupid?" Asuka screamed into the receiver, "why should I be jealous about that little dork? I don't care what he does!"  
  
  
"If you are not concerned then I will not be either...good night Sohryu."   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"What did you think of the movie?" the dark haired boy inquired to the girl walking beside him. The streetlights providing a guide, the young couple made their way through the deserted park as overhead a bright full moon cast long shadows off the well-lit trail.  
  
  
"I'm not big on sequels, but I liked this one as much as the original," the freckled faced girl said with a smile. "Of course 'Together We Stand' is one of my all time favorite stories, even with its untraditional love story."   
  
  
"I agree," Shinji replied, "it was a good flick once you got over the pairing."   
  
  
"You surprise me, Shinji Ikari," Hikari exclaimed, "I never had you pegged as the romantic type."  
  
  
"Well," he blushed as he brought his hand up behind his head, "around the guys is one thing, but alone I'm a different person."  
  
  
"I noticed," she said with a smile before turning away as her face began to flush.   
  
  
"Thanks," he said as he absentmindedly glanced down at his watch. "Wow, it's midnight already."  
  
  
"It is?" she replied anxiously, her gait quickening just a bit. "I had better get home."  
  
  
"I understand," he nodded as he matched her accelerated pace. "I'll walk you."  
  
  
"Thanks, Shinji," she said with a smile. The two quickly made their way out of the park and back onto the sparsely populated streets.  
  
  
"I had a nice time," the Third said after much hesitation.  
  
  
"Me too," the girl replied, sounding surprised at herself for admitting it so freely.  
  
  
"That's good," he said succinctly as for the first time since the initial few awkward moments of the date, Shinji found himself having difficulty speaking to the young woman. All throughout dinner and before and after the movie the two had chatted almost nonstop, the words flowing effortlessly off each other's tongues. He had learned about her sisters and family, while he shocked himself and opened up a bit about his troubled upbringing. They had even both broached the subject of their respective late mother's, although both had seen fit to keep some secrets just that. The date could not have gone better, except for that nagging feeling of guilt that had been growing all night long. Sure, he was doing this to help her...but still the date had gone so well that he was starting to have second thoughts...  
  
  
"Shinji," the girl said softly as she stopped and hung her head, staring at the sidewalk below. "I have something I have to tell you."  
  
  
"Me too," he said as he turned to face her.  
  
  
"You first," they said in unison, sounding like they had been in sync training. They both broke down and laughed for a moment as the tension eased.  
  
  
"You go first," Shinji said softly.  
  
  
"Okay," Hikari sighed as she took a deep breath. "I can't lie to you Shinji. I didn't just come on this date because you asked me to. I also came because I really wanted to get back at Asuka...for playing that trick on me. I'm sorry."   
  
  
"It's alright," he nodded as he could see the distress in the girl's eyes.  
  
  
"No it's not," she protested, "I used you to get back at her, and that's not fair."  
  
  
"Hikari," Shinji said as he took her hand, "you have nothing to be upset about..."  
  
  
"But I do," she said as she wiped a tear from her eye. "I was hoping to have a bad time on the date and then this wouldn't be so hard. But you had to go off and be charming and sweet and...I'm such a jerk!"  
  
  
"No you're not."  
  
  
"Yes I am," she said, tears flowing as she pulled away from him and turned away. "I wish you would just hate me so that this would be easier."  
  
  
"What would be easier?" he queried.  
  
  
"Well, I really like...Touji," she said exasperatedly, "but then you come in and we have a great time...and...now I don't know who I like anymore."  
  
  
The Third smiled. "Don't worry," he said confidently, "I have a feeling that everything is going to work out for you just fine."  
  
  
"Y...you do?" she said cautiously as she turned and faced him again. "Why?"  
  
  
Shinji took her hand and lead her the short distance to a bench where they both sat down. Leaning forward he carefully wiped the tears falling from her eyes. "First you need to stop crying," he said.  
  
  
"Sorry," she replied, her dress sleeves substituting as tissues as she rubbed them on her cheeks and nose.   
  
  
The Unit 01 pilot gazed into her bloodshot eyes and smiled. "I...well...haven't exactly been honest with you, either."  
  
  
"Y...you haven't?" she sniffled.  
  
  
"No...but that's going to end right now," he declared. Taking her hand he took a deep breath as he screwed up his courage. "Hikari, I'm sorry but you are going to be late because there's something I've got to talk to you about."  
  
  
---------  
  
  
Quietly the boy slipped his shoes off as the front door shut behind him. Though the apartment was dark, his memory was good enough that he was able to successfully traverse the hallway and reach the kitchen. Suddenly his foot hit something soft, and he crouched down for a better look. As his eyes became more adjusted to the dim light he recognized the prone body of Pen Pen as he lay next to an empty jar. Picking up the container he was just able to make out the writing. 'Captain Scurvy's I Can't Believe It's Not Fish, imitation fish type penguin food.' He sighed as the bird rolled about in obvious pain, it's flippers grasping at its stomach. 'Misato went shopping again,' he thought to himself as he carefully stepped over the animal, and made his way through the kitchen and into the living room. He was almost at the door to his room when a light came on behind him.  
  
  
"You're late."  
  
  
It was the greeting that Shinji had been expecting, after all it was well past midnight, but its originator was somewhat unexpected.  
  
  
"Where have you been all night?" Asuka said with a frown as she poked her head around the lamp, her hand still on the switch.  
  
  
"Out with Hikari, you know that."  
  
  
"Till two in the morning? That movie ended over three hours ago," she said loudly.  
  
  
"Would you hold it down," Shinji said as he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. "You don't need to wake up Misato."  
  
  
"Fine," she said crossing her arms on her chest and standing over him. "So what were you doing all night?"  
  
  
"Nothing really. We had dinner, saw the movie and I walked her home."  
  
  
"I don't suppose there was any change?" Asuka asked hopefully. "Or leftovers?"  
  
  
"Sorry," he said shaking his head, "we used it all up on desert. Did you know they make the best German chocolate cake there?"  
  
  
"I've heard about it," she grumbled as her empty stomach groaned loudly. "Enough about food...is everything ready for Monday?"  
  
  
"Monday?" he said perplexed. "What about Monday?"  
  
  
"You know...Monday, the day you dump Hikari and Touji comes to her rescue...that Monday."  
  
  
"Oh yeah," he said as he stood. "About that...there has been a slight change in plan." He yawned and stretched before he continued. "But I'm pretty tired, can we go over this tomorrow?"  
  
  
"We'll go over this NOW," she said loudly, "right NOW."  
  
  
"Fine," he sighed, "Well I've thought it over and I've decided not to break up with Hikari."  
  
  
"You've WHAT?" Asuka screamed, ignoring the fact it was the middle of the night.  
  
  
"I'm not going to break up with Hikari on Monday."  
  
  
"But that was the plan," she protested loudly as she stepped closer and jammed her finger into his chest. "You'll screw up everything!"  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he replied, "I DID intend to follow the plan...but...but..."  
  
  
"But what?" she exclaimed.  
  
  
"But after we had such a great time tonight...I just can't."  
  
  
"You can and you will," Asuka scowled.  
  
  
Shinji regarded her orders and facial expression for a moment. "I can't and I won't," he said flatly, "and there is nothing you can do about it."  
  
  
"But...why...it's...," the Second stammered as the Third pushed by her and started towards his room.  
  
  
"I'm sorry Asuka," he said softly as he grabbed the handle to his door. "The decision is made. I cannot make the clock run backwards, but I can make it move forward with my own hands."  
  
  
The redhead watched in stunned silence as he slowly slid his door shut behind him leaving her alone with her thoughts...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
  
Next Chapter: "Cease fire"  
  
  
  
Didn't see that one coming, did you? I promised that this would have some more twists and turns...and there may be still more. Nothing much more to add although I am sorry this chapter is a bit late and the 'Together We Stand' reference is to Hotwire's fic and was used without his permission, but it's a great fic and if you have read it you know why I used that particular name. Thanks to Random and Rhine for prereading. C&C welcome at ryoma3000@yahoo.com.  
  
  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************  
  
  
Hey there... while Ryoma's off pre-reading my crap, I offer you this preview of Best Laid Plans, part 6. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Monday morning light gave the school a beautiful, almost unearthly glow as Asuka headed towards it, humming softly.  
  
  
Since Shinji had decided to stay with Hikari, it left her only one choice - reveal her true feelings.  
  
  
"Hey Red," Touji said, falling in step at her side, "you said you wanted us all here to make some kind of announcement?"  
  
  
"Yup," the Second Child affirmed, "when Shinji and Hikari show up, I'll tell you all."  
  
  
"What about Kensuke?" Touji inquired.  
  
  
Asuka shrugged, "He's an unimportant sub-character... if he's there, great, if not, no biggie."  
  
  
Touji thought about this, "Yeah, I guess you're right... I mean, honestly - how many episodes was he in, anyway? Six? Maybe seven?"  
  
  
"Hey Asuka," Hikari called, "hey Touji."  
  
  
"Hey class rep," Touji replied, "I heard over the weekend that you and Shinji got hooked up... that true?"  
  
  
"Yeah," the brown-haired girl replied, "this is a fanfiction, after all... who needs canon?"  
  
  
"Which brings me to my announcement," Asuka said, ignoring her previous characterization and smiling like an idiot, "Since Shinji is with Hikari... I'm announcing my love for Touji."  
  
  
Bad romance movie music could be heard coming from the school announcement system.  
  
  
"Never noticed that before," Shinji observed.  
  
  
"I love you, Suzuhara!" Asuka proclaimed, "Kiss me! Kiss me like you've always wanted too! I know you love me!"  
  
  
"I do!" Touji replied emphatically, "I always have... ever since I exposed myself to you and you slapped the bejesus out of me... all I could think about was making you mine."  
  
  
They leaned closer, the music swelling to a crescendo.  
  
  
"Oh Touji!"  
  
  
"Oh Asuka!"  
  
  
As their lips-  
  
  
  
  
  
What the $%# is this $@#@!!!!! This isn't my story!!  
  
  
Ooo... he doesn't sound happy...  
  
  
Raaaaaaandoooooom!!!  
  
  
Well, looks like my time is up... hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. Try the veal.  
  
  
whahaahahahahahahahahaahhaha  
  
  
Damn you ! Get out...get out I tell you !!! Sorry folks for that little...incident. He KNOWS I hate Asuka and Touji pairings. Last time I let a guest author do my omake...All complaints about the crappiness of this omake can be sent to random1377@yahoo.com. I promise next chapter to do my own. 


	6. Cease Fire

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC   
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:  
  
  
The Best Laid Plans  
  
  
Chapter Six "Cease Fire"   
  
  
by Ryoma  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.   
  
  
  
Spring was in the air...at least according to the calendar it was Spring. Though Second Impact had long ago forced the Earth to abandon the fluctuating temperature changes that previously marked the seasons, a part of the human spirit still retained the ability to sense them. A feeling...a sensation...a mood...something about the way a person acted always seemed to change when the season of renewal arrived each year. The flowers were in full bloom, disrupting the normally bland concrete and steel facade of Tokyo-3 with little dashes of color here and there. Mother Nature proving again that her beauty is unmatched by anything created by man.   
  
  
And in this wonderful setting, six students sat at a table, enjoying their lunch as all around them the sights and sounds of nature embraced them.   
  
  
Darting about in the clear blue skies, small birds sang songs of love as they searched for a mate; instincts for companionship and reproduction fueling their desires. Groups of them would gather, each one chirping a little louder then the last...each trying to stand out and assure themselves that their voice would be heard above the rest. This assortment of random tweets and whistles soon degenerated into an annoying racket, the lovely songs now gone...replaced with this clamor.   
  
  
Of course humans are far more advanced then common birds.   
  
  
"What are they trying to do...kill me!" Asuka squawked as she dropped her chopsticks into the bento box. The familiar markings on the outside indicated that it was standard school cafeteria fare. "This tastes like crap."  
  
  
"You get used to it," Touji said as he dug at the corners of his similarly marked container, attempting to capture the few remaining morsels. "Except the smell."  
  
  
"What smell?" she replied, her face suddenly contorting in obvious displeasure as she bent down and sampled the aroma. "Mien Gott in Himmel!" she exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth in an attempt to keep from vomiting.  
  
  
Eyeing his own now empty container, Touji glanced over at Asuka's. "Are you going to finish that?"  
  
  
Still afraid to move her hands away from her mouth, Asuka simply shook her head slightly from side to side.  
  
  
"Thanks," the track suited boy replied with a smile as he reached over Asuka's arm, grabbing the carton and sliding it before him.   
  
  
The girl watched in awe as he began shoveling heaping mounds of noodles into his gaping maw...never pausing to take a breath, his hands moving almost faster then her eyes could follow. As disturbing as that sight should have been, her nausea had faded and been replaced by the familiar pangs of hunger that she had been fighting all morning. Forcing back a sigh, she gazed down at the empty plate before her as her stomach growled its dismay.  
  
  
"Here," Touji said softly as he held out a sushi roll between his chopsticks. "These are actually edible." He dropped it in front of her, not bothering to wait for a reply resumed his voracious attack on her lunch.   
  
  
"Er...um...well...thanks," Asuka stammered as she rolled the deep-sea cuisine back and forth in an attempt to verify his opinion. Picking it up she prepared to smell it, but thought better of it as she caught sight of the boy shaking his head slowly back and forth. Cautiously picking up the roll between her thumb and index finger and taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and took a bite. Slowly she chewed, preparing at any moment to spit out the offending foodstuff if her taste buds deemed it necessary. A slight smile formed on her face as the first tasty morsels found her tongue. "Not bad," she said before taking another bite.  
  
  
"I told you," Touji said before he took a quick drink of his soda. "I guess I should've warned you about the fish and ramen bento when I saw you in the cafeteria. Come to think of it, how come you're buying lunch, anyway?"   
  
  
"Because idiot Shinji didn't make me one," she scowled glancing over to where the Unit 01 pilot was siting, his hand discreetly linked with his new girlfriend's. "Is there anything remotely edible in that place?"   
  
  
"You might like the hamburgers on American food day," he said while taking a moment to tip the box and scrape the remaining food to one side, "chipped a tooth on one last month, though." The ramen was now gathered in one place allowing him to scoop a generous portion into his mouth. "And the pizza's not too bad," he muttered sending bits of food flying, "although the cheese can give you horrible gas." She returned a bewildered look as he swallowed the rest of his food. "But most of all avoid the burritos on Mexican food day," he said with a frown, "or your plugsuit won't be the only thing red for a while."   
  
  
"I...I'll try to remember that," Asuka replied, as silently she wondered exactly how she got into this exchange. It was about this time she realized that all the other conversations that had been going on around the table had ceased. Slowly she glanced around and noted that all eyes were on her and the lead Stooge.  
  
  
"How romantic, giving each other comfort and kindness," Kensuke muttered as he smiled over at the pair. "Would you two like to be left alone so you can continue this sexy chat in private?"  
  
  
"Huh...what?" Asuka said curiously as she hadn't quite heard the boy's comment.  
  
  
"Aida was inquiring if Suzahara and yourself would like some privacy," Rei said flatly, never bothering to look up from the book she was reading. "To allow your courtship ritual to continue without interruption."  
  
  
Asuka and Touji blushed a bright shade of crimson. "Shut up!" they screamed in unison.  
  
  
The entire table erupted in laughter, save the blue haired girl, as the redhead and the jock flushed even brighter. The two slowly turned to look at one another, then quickly turned away as their eyes met for a brief moment. Asuka crossed her arms on her chest and huffed, "Like I would ever touch that dork!"  
  
  
"Yeah," Touji added, "like she would ever touch this dork!"   
  
  
Asuka glanced over at him. "If the future of mankind depends on idiots like you, then sometimes I think we should all just die."  
  
  
"Don't ever say things like that, Asuka."  
  
  
"What do you care, Third Child," the Second exclaimed as she turned to face him. "It's your fault that I'm reduced to talking with this loser."   
  
  
"My fault?" Shinji inquired, "how's this my fault?"   
  
  
"Easy," she replied matter of factly. "If you had made my lunch this morning like you're supposed to, then...hey...where'd you get that?" she said loudly, finally noticing and pointing to the large bento box in front of him.   
  
  
"What...this?" he said pulling the container in a bit closer to himself as Asuka leaned forward to examine it's contents. "We...I...um..."  
  
  
"I made it for him."  
  
  
Asuka shifted her gaze to the girl sitting next to Shinji. "Y...you?"   
  
  
"Yes," the class rep said, returning Asuka's stunned stare with a smile. "Why do you sound so surprised? He's my boyfriend after all."   
  
  
"Yeah...but...well," the Second sputtered before stopping and composing herself. Unable to endure Hikari's smiling face anymore she turned back to her housemate. "You can still make me something so I wouldn't have to..."  
  
  
"No," the freckled-faced girl interrupted, "he can't make your lunch for school anymore."   
  
  
"What do you mean he can't?" Asuka clamored, turning away from the cringing boy to face her soon to be former best friend. "He lives with ME, and if I say he has to make me lunch, then he..."  
  
  
"And I told him NO!" Hikari said loudly, again cutting the redhead off mid-rant. "I don't want my boyfriend making another girl's lunch everyday," she said reaching over and grabbing Shinji's arm and pulling him closer. "And as for the living with you part...well let's just say that's going to change as soon as we're both old enough."  
  
  
"What?" Asuka cried out in shock.  
  
  
The class rep's cheeks were just the slightest shade of red as she spoke. "Sure it's a few years before we are old enough to get married...but I can wait."  
  
  
"Would you listen to this," the red head protested, "you've known each other for what? A year? And you've only been going out for four days...and you're already talking about getting married? What are you, stupid?"   
  
  
"Keep up that attitude and I won't ask you to be my maid of honor."   
  
  
"Maid of honor?" Asuka shrieked, jumping to her feet to ensure she was the center of attention. "Maid of honor? I'm not going even going to worry about being invited because there isn't going to be any wedding!" A silence fell over the table as everyone stared up at the girl.  
  
  
"Rei?"  
  
  
"I would be honored to participate in Ika...Shinji and your wedding ceremony," the blue haired girl said calmly turning to face the class rep.  
  
  
"Great, now that's settled," Hikari said as a smile formed on her lips, "what do you think? Traditional wedding or modern?"  
  
  
"STOP!" Asuka screamed causing everyone to jump, "stop this insanity right now!" The Second Child slowly moved her gaze around the table, making sure to address each person as she spoke through her clenched teeth. "I don't want to hear another word about weddings, bridesmaids, traditional ceremonies or modern, Wondergirl as a maid of honor...NOTHING!" She stood staring at the Third Child, her chest heaving up and down as she fought to catch her breath.   
  
  
"Shinji...can I be your best man?"   
  
  
"You are such an IDIOT!" Asuka said loudly as she spun around and pointed an accusing finger at Touji. "Of all the people here, you should be taking my side on this."  
  
  
"What are you talking about?" he said with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
  
"Shinji's getting married," Kensuke said as he rubbed his glasses in his shirt to remove some spit from Asuka's diatribe that had landed on them. "Can I handle the filming?"  
  
  
"No you can't handle the filming," the Second Child replied in a mocking tone.   
  
  
"If I'm not the best man, can I do the filming?" Touji inquired.  
  
  
"There's not going to be anything to film, you jackass." Asuka clenched her fists and prepared to start pounding some sense into the occupants at the table, starting with a certain track suited moron who she had been depending on to aid her cause. It was at that moment that she noticed him far more interested in the few remaining scraps in his bento box then her glaring visage. -Perhaps I should give him the benefit of the doubt- she thought to herself as watched him. "Moron...you do know all about the wedding...right?"   
  
  
"Yeah, I heard you say that Shinji's getting married and I'm happy for him," Touji said as he ran his finger around the inside of his bento box to capture every possible calorie, "I just missed the part about who."  
  
  
Asuka's rolled her eyes as she let loose a little sigh of relief. Her hunch had proven correct. Touji's first love had distracted him to the point that he didn't know about the impending loss of his second love.   
  
  
That was about to change.   
  
  
"Oh I'm sorry Stooge," she said coolly as she waited for him to acknowledge her. "The lovely bride to be would be none other then Hikari Horaki," she said with a smile.  
  
  
Touji's face instantly went ashen as he struggled to respond. "H...H...Hikari?"  
  
  
"Yes, H...H...Hikari," Asuka replied, barely able to contain her joy as she watched her new ally fidget about in obvious discomfort. "Now would you care to help me put a stop to this?"   
  
  
"Yeah...I guess," he mumbled in dismay before a scowl from the redhead convinced him to try harder. "You two can't get married," he cried out, slamming his fist down on the table as he stood up. Glancing over, he caught the slight nod of approval from Asuka at his actions.   
  
  
"And why not?" Hikari said, her tone sounding a bit annoyed as she stared up at him.  
  
  
Touji gazed down at her. Months...no, years of frustration weighed heavily on the young man's shoulders. All the things he wanted to tell her...all the missed opportunities...all the lonely nights at home thinking about her. And now she was almost gone. Shinji was his best friend, but his desires for the dark haired girl were so strong they were literally causing him pain to think her heart would soon belong to another. Still, the solution to his quandary was at hand. It was time to release the dam of pent-up emotions and feelings and finally tell her all those things he was too shy or embarrassed to say before. It was now or never...he would proclaim his feelings for her and be damned the consequences. Taking a deep breath, he decided to say the first thing that entered his mind.  
  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged.  
  
  
"I don't know?" the class rep frowned. "I don't know...I don't know... "she repeated softly over and over, each time adding a little more volume to the words. "I don't know...what kind of answer is THAT?" she yelled.  
  
  
Touji gulped audibly as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "Um...the best one I could think of?"  
  
  
Shinji felt his left arm go numb as Hikari bore down on it, squeezing with a strength that could only be generated after years of expectation and monumental disappointment. He glanced over and watched as she began shaking uncontrollably, her face contorting into a very pained expression. "YOU ASSHOLE!" she roared, freeing Shinji's arm as she grabbed her half eaten lunch and threw it at the object of her insult. "How can you possibly be so dense?"   
  
  
Touji tried to duck out of the flight path of the airborne bento, but only succeeded in positioning himself directly in its course. With a soft thud the container impacted on his head, resting there for a moment before slowly sliding down, leaving its contents behind. The noodles piled on the top of his head, their curly threads dangling down like beige tresses, completely covering his face as the sauces and bits of seasoning dripped off their bottoms. Using both hands he carefully parted the stringy noodles to allow himself to see if another attack was imminent.   
  
  
Kensuke looked up and regarded his friend. "Bad hair day?" he quipped.  
  
  
Touji reached up and grabbed a hand full of the seeping mass and threw it, hitting the other boy in the face. "Shut up," he grumbled.  
  
  
"Stop it, you guys," Shinji protested as he watched Kensuke pick up his own half-eaten meal in preparation of a retaliatory strike. "Can't we all just get along?" he said, smiling as he watched Kensuke slowly put his bento box back down. "That's better," he chuckled as the ridiculousness of the situation was beginning to get the best of him.  
  
  
"What's so funny, Ikari?" Touji said crossly.  
  
  
"Yeah," the other boy mumbled from behind his ramen-covered spectacles, "what are you laughing about?"  
  
  
"Wait just a minute," Shinji protested, holding his hands out in front of him as the two boys stared at him. "Just stop before you do something you will regret later."  
  
  
"Sorry kid, please don't take this personally," Touji said flatly as he raised up a handful of food and prepared to launch it at the Third.   
  
  
Shinji turned his head away in resignation to the fact that this was the end. He closed his eyes and awaited the cold, damp sensation that would come when the edible mass found its target.   
  
  
"Please don't take THIS personally," Hikari exclaimed as she let loose her own preemptive attack. The handful of table scraps found their mark as Touji recoiled from the impact.   
  
  
"Why you little..." Touji hollered, raising his arm and again preparing to attack. -I can't do it- he thought to himself as he watched Hikari cowering in fear. -She looks so helpless...so vulnerable...so damn sexy...so hot that I just want to...-  
  
  
"Come on...do it...do it you Stooge!" Asuka screamed, "DO IT!"  
  
  
Touji glanced over to the red head as she continued to chant her mantra into his ear. Turning away he again observed the frightened look on the class rep's face as she trembled below him. "I...I can't," he sighed as he placed the cuisine back on the table.  
  
  
"You idiot!" Asuka said loudly as she turned and began berating him face to face. "You're so stupid. I can't believe you had the chance to make her pay and you didn't because you are afraid that..." She stopped short as she felt a stinging sensation as something impacted the back of her head.   
  
  
"What the hell was that?" she said, running her hand across the area. The feeling of dampness was unmistakable as she used her fingers to comb out the offending substance. Bringing her hand back around she noticed the distinct remains of the strawberry projectile.   
  
  
"Who threw that?" she hissed. With no immediate confessions, she began looking around for the culprit. Shinji and Hikari were still wincing in fear, Rei had her head buried in her book, completely oblivious to the outside world and Kensuke was busy trying to clean his glasses. Asuka fired off one final glare and turned around resume scolding the head Stooge again.   
  
  
"You are such..."   
  
  
Again her tirade was shortened as she felt another object strike the back of her head. Turning around she found the other occupants of the table in pretty much the same positions as before.  
  
  
"Wondergirl...what are you eating for lunch?"  
  
  
The blue haired girl looked up from her book. "I have a vegetarian platter."  
  
  
"There wouldn't happen to be any fruit in there?" the Second pondered as she leaned forward and attempted to see for herself.  
  
  
"Yes," the First replied.  
  
  
"Any strawberries perhaps...like the ones you threw at me."  
  
  
Rei looked up as she slowly closed her book. "I dislike strawberries. They are red, the color I hate."  
  
  
"You don't like the color red, eh?" Asuka said with a frown. Reaching down she picked up a large portion of Kensuke's lunch. "Let me give you something else to hate!"  
  
  
"Leave her alone," Shinji cried, "Rei has nothing to do with this."  
  
  
"Fine," Asuka replied as she turned to face him. "You care about her so much...you take the bullet." With that she threw the contents of her hand, striking him squarely in the face.  
  
  
"You cut that out!" Hikari said as she watched Asuka laughing at Shinji. With a deft flick of the class rep's wrist the German girl found herself with a ramen wig.   
  
  
"You bitch!" the Second Child screamed as she began hurling food at the couple.   
  
  
"Stop that," Touji said as he watched Hikari valiantly trying to avoid the barrage of foodstuffs. Her cause turned futile as the first few volleys found their mark. Grabbing his own handful of scraps he proceeded to dump them on the Unit 02 pilot's head. "How do you like that?"  
  
  
Kensuke began laughing uncontrollably. "Good one Suzahara."  
  
  
"What are you laughing at?" he heard Asuka say just before her attack landed. "Eat this."  
  
  
Soon the dialog degraded into random voices. "I hate you." "I wouldn't be caught dead with you!" "Get away from me." "Stubborn bastard." "Your type makes me sick." "Annoying bastard." "It'd be better if you'd never been born." "You're a pain in the ass."   
  
  
"Wimp..." Asuka said loudly, directing the comment to Shinji.  
  
  
Rei silently stood up and gathered her belongings as all around her the air was filled with a mixture of insults and food. With a slight nod to everyone at the table she excused herself and began walking away. As she left a flock of birds that had been gathered near the group finally gave up competing with the ruckus. As they took flight, Rei could still hear the battle raging behind her. Looking over her perfectly clean uniform and relishing the benefits of a personal AT field, her lips almost turned up into a smile as she pulled a strawberry out of her pocket and took a bite.   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Asuka...your sync rate is dropping again...concentrate," Misato said as she watched the readings on the monitor before her. "Or are you letting Shinji win again in hopes that he'll feel sorry for you and take you back."  
  
  
"WHAT?" the Second Child screamed, the LCL in the test plug unable to mask her resentment at the accusation. "Like I would ever care what that moron is doing...or for that matter who he's doing. I don't know where you get off thinking that I would want that dork to win, but let me tell you that..."  
  
  
Misato reached over and hit the MUTE button. The U and T were worn off, testament to its overuse. "I need a vacation."   
  
  
"Maybe if you stopped teasing them, you wouldn't have so much stress," Doctor Ritsuko Akagi said flatly as she looked over a clipboard of printouts. "You're supposed to be the adult after all."   
  
  
"I'm just having a little fun," Misato replied as she stood up and walked over to the other occupants in the room. Taking a sip of coffee, she watched the silent image of Asuka on the large overhead display, her rapidly moving mouth confirming the fact that she was still yelling. "Asuka seems to like it."  
  
  
"Oh yeah, she seems to be thoroughly enjoying herself," Ritsuko said dryly as she handed the clipboard to her assistant Maya Ibuki. "Run these through the Magi, " she said softly to the other woman before turning to face the Major again. "You are cruel, Misato."  
  
  
"What would you know?" she replied indignantly, "you live in an apartment full of cats. I hardly think you would know anything about having fun."  
  
  
"That's not true," Ritsuko said quickly as she placed her eyeglasses into her lab coat pocket. "I've been known to have a good time now and again."  
  
  
"Since when?"  
  
  
Ritsuko glanced up at the silent images of Rei, Shinji and Asuka on the overhead panels. Quickly noting their respective readings she took a sip of coffee as the Major awaited a response. "Although it may seem tame compared to your drunken free-for-all's, Misato, I do know how to have fun." She ended her comments with an every so slight nod and wink that only her assistant could see.  
  
  
"Sitting home stroking pussies is not my idea of a perfect evening."   
  
  
"Says you," Maya mumbled, blushing hard, her hand quickly covered her mouth in an attempt to catch the words as she realized that she might have been a bit too loud.  
  
  
"What?" Misato said, raising her eyebrow just a bit. "I didn't catch that."  
  
  
"Oh...um...nothing," Maya stammered as she began furiously typing commands into her terminal. She could literally feel the heat from her blush as she desperately tried to hide it.  
  
  
"You feeling okay?" Misato said softly, "your face is all red."  
  
  
"She felt fine last night," Ritsuko interjected.   
  
  
"Excuse me?" Misato cried.  
  
  
Ritsuko hurriedly took a sip of coffee, hoping to calm herself. "I mean she SAID she was feeling fine. How would I know what she feels like? And why the inquisition? Not everybody has secrets, Misato....My God, the old men at SEELE could take some tips from you." Her hand began shaking so bad that she threatened to spill her coffee as she tried to bring it to her mouth. "Is it hot in here?" she said nervously as she walked over to the thermometer on the wall, "seems awfully hot."  
  
  
Misato watched with an inquiring eye as Ritsuko paced back and forth complaining about the temperature and the Operations Director's line of questioning.   
  
  
"Can we get back to the issue at hand?" the doctor said after she calmed down enough to resume a normal conversational tone. "What's wrong with Asuka? The Commander is not going to like these results at all."  
  
  
"I think she's having some personal issues," Misato said with a frown. "And I think they involve Shinji."  
  
  
"Shinji?" Ritsuko said curiously, "last I heard they were going steady."  
  
  
"Well let's just say that you were given some incorrect data," Misato said shaking her head. "Shinji is actually dating one of the other girls in his class now."  
  
  
"Really?" the blonde haired woman huffed, "already into the arms of another woman before the body is even cold." She turned away and took a few steps away from the others. "Just like his goddamn father," she muttered to herself before turning and addressing her friend once again. "Poor Asuka, she must be taking it hard. You know how well she deals with rejection."  
  
  
"You're telling me," Misato replied with a forced smile. She took a quick sip of her drink as she looked up at the image of the German girl as she sat in the entry plug, her face the epitome of concentration and determination. "I think she has feelings for him, but she's too proud to let them out."  
  
  
"Sounds like a certain Major I know," Ritsuko said matter of factly.  
  
  
"Oh shut up!"  
  
  
"Sorry," the blonde scientist said sarcastically. Taking a few steps forward she stood behind Maya as the technician typed commands into her computer. Discretely placing her hand on the younger woman's shoulder, she leaned over her to study the data as is flashed across the screen. "So if Asuka won't let her feelings be known, what about Shinji? He seems to like her."  
  
  
"He does...or at least I think he did," Misato pondered aloud. "Right now I don't know anymore. He's been acting different lately."  
  
  
Ritsuko looked up from the computer monitor. "Different how?"  
  
  
"Oh, nothing to get the Magi worked up over," the purple haired woman giggled, "he just seems...different. I can't put my finger on it just yet."  
  
  
"His test scores have never been better," Ritsuko replied, turning her attention back to the scrolling data on the screen in front of her.   
  
  
"Sempai," Maya said softly, "there is some data on the laptop that I think you should see."  
  
  
Sliding from the younger woman's left shoulder to her right, the blonde again leaned forward to study the laptop that was setup to the technician's side. Squinting slightly she was able to make out the words on the display.  
  
  
I NEED YOU.   
  
  
"That certainly is important," Ritsuko smiled, squeezing the younger woman's shoulder gently. "I think we will have to verify this hypothesis later," she whispered into Maya's ear. "So Misato," she said, standing and looking at the Operations Director. "It sounds like you have the situation with the Third Child well in hand. I guess you are not as immature as I thought."  
  
  
"Thanks, Ritsu...I think," Misato said hesitantly, finally deciding that the comment was meant as a compliment, in a round about sort of way. "I don't like to brag but I have to admit that I've done a great job with that boy."  
  
  
"And given the importance of the Children, I would think that the Commander might give you another promotion," the doctor said with a smile. "That is as long as nothing out of the ordinary happens."  
  
  
-Colonel Katsuragi, I like the sound of that.- Misato thought to herself.   
  
  
"Major Katsuragi."  
  
  
-No, no...not Major...it's Colonel- the purple haired woman pondered, smiling from ear to ear.   
  
  
"Major Katsuragi," the First Child called out again over the intercom.  
  
  
The blue haired girl's voice finally registered, returning Misato to the present. "Yes Rei... what can I do for you?"  
  
  
"I need your assistance in a personal matter."  
  
  
"Sure," Misato said confidently, buoyed by her success with the Third. Smiling conceitedly at the other two women she called out to Rei. "What do you need help with?"   
  
  
The image of Rei Ayanami addressed her from the monitor above. " I have been invited to participate as the maid of honor in Shinji and Hikari's nuptials."   
  
  
"You've WHAT?" Misato screamed, her visions of a promotion disappearing as Maya and Ritsuko began laughing in the background.   
  
  
Rei paused for a few moments as she listened to a string of profanities resonate through her com link. She finally broke in when the Major stopped to take a breath. "I am unfamiliar with the process. Could you assist me?"  
  
  
"I seriously doubt there will be a wedding," Misato frowned, glancing over at the two snickering women in the control room. "A funeral or three perhaps."   
  
  
"I can't wait to see Commander Ikari's reaction when he hears his fifteen year old son is engaged," Ritsuko said with a smile as her companion doubled over, trying desperately not to lose what little composure she had left. "And to think, I was worried about you becoming his guardian."  
  
  
"Shut up already," Misato shouted at the lab coated woman before turning back to the monitor. "Rei...let's not tell anybody else, especially the Commander, about this, okay?"  
  
  
"I understand," the likeness of the girl responded, as in previous conversations never bothering to open her eyes or change her facial expression. After a slight pause, she spoke again. "Is this secrecy part of the maid of honor process?"  
  
  
"Huh?" the Major replied, surprised by the question. "Yes...yes it is," she said after pausing for a moment to devise an acceptable answer. "You should never tell the father of the groom anything about his son's engagement, at least not until his son's guardian has a chance to beat some sense into him."   
  
  
"Thank you," Rei said softly, "I will follow your instructions."  
  
  
"Whew," Misato sighed, wiping the sweat off her brow as she turned away from the monitor. "That was close." Walking past the other women she headed toward the door.   
  
  
"Where are you going?" Ritsuko inquired.  
  
  
"To go rip lover boy out of his entry plug."  
  
  
----------  
  
  
"Mr. Kaji?" Shinji said softly as he tapped lightly on the closed door in front of him. "Kaji are you in there?"  
  
  
"Come in," the pony tailed man called from behind the door.  
  
  
The Third Child slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Glancing around the room he noted the stacks of documents, some piled from the floor to the ceiling. Scattered about between the skyscrapers of paper were small pots, some with tiny plants growing in them. Walking into the room he sat down in the chair directly in front of the man's desk. "What are these?" Shinji asked as he picked up one of the planters.  
  
  
"These are my prize melon plants."  
  
  
"Melons?" the boy replied curiously as he placed the soil filled container back on the desk.  
  
  
"Sure," Kaji said with a smile, "growing fruit can be a healthy and worthwhile hobby."  
  
  
Shinji gave the man a puzzled stare. "Really?"  
  
  
"Yes," the eternally unshaven man nodded, "there is nothing more rewarding then nurturing a couple of these plants to their fullest potential." Reaching down Kaji picked up a couple of fairly large melons and began handling them. "See how well these two came out," he said, carefully running his fingers all about their surface. "Notice how perfectly round they are...firm, yet supple at the same time."   
  
  
Kaji continued to rub his fingers and hands over the fruit, however Shinji was beginning to feel uneasy as the motion was taking a more sensual turn. "There is nothing quite like a perfect melon. Some people like them small, others like them huge. Me, I like them large...but not too big. Just enough to get my hands around them and..." The man's voice trailed off as he closed his eyes and began rubbing the fruit along his face and neck, shuddering as he felt the orbs contact his skin.   
  
  
Shinji watched the erotic spectacle for a moment before speaking. "Um...I take it Misato still isn't talking to you?"  
  
  
"Huh?" Kaji replied, the boy's voice snapping him out of his fantasy. A slight blush formed on the spy's face as he stared at the Third Child. "If I can't get my hands on Misato's melons, these are the next best thing," he said as he carefully placed them back under his desk.  
  
  
Shinji was anxious to change the topic and get Kaji's illicit display out of his mind. "What about all these papers and reports?" he said, motioning to the many stacks. "I bet these are top secret documents about the Angels and Third Impact."   
  
  
"They used to be," he said with a smile as he put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "But now they are all soil test data, hybrid seed analysis, temperature and light studies...basically it's all about melon growing."  
  
  
"You're kidding, right?"  
  
  
"Actually no," Kaji said shaking his head back and forth. "Melon growing can be a very competitive hobby. The secrets to growing prize winning plants are even better kept secrets then the Eva's AT field technology."  
  
  
"Wow," Shinji said enthusiastically, feigning interest in the topic. "Are you one of the best?"  
  
  
"I'm proud to admit that I am currently the highest ranked grower in this district," the older man said though his beaming smile. "That old bat, Mrs. Hayashibara was number one until her untimely death a few months ago."  
  
  
"I think I read about that," the Third Child exclaimed, "isn't she the one who died in that accident?"  
  
  
"That's the one," Kaji nodded, "nothing out of the ordinary, just your everyday, non staged car crash."  
  
  
"I thought the paper said she drove her car off of the bridge after being shot five times, stabbed fifteen times and poisoned?"   
  
  
The super spy seemed to turn a bit pale as Shinji related the specifics of the incident. "Tabloid journalism," he said nervously, "those news agencies are always trying to spruce up a story. I can assure you there is no tangible evidence of foul play."   
  
  
Shinji's jaw dropped as Kaji finished his comments. "T...thanks for clearing that up," he stammered, shocked at how innocent chitchat had turned into an exposé on the dark side of professional fruit raising.   
  
  
"Now," the older man said loudly, "what brings you down here...and I'm sure it's not about gardening."  
  
  
The boy let out a sigh of relief at the change of topic. "I...I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow and help me with some...problems I'm having?"   
  
  
"Problems?" Kaji queried, "what kind of problems?"  
  
  
"Oh...the usual stuff...I guess," Shinji said softly.  
  
  
"Sounds like something Misato should be handling," Kaji replied bringing his hands out from behind his head and resting them on the desk. "She is your guardian after all."  
  
  
"But I need YOUR help," the boy pleaded, "Misato can't help me with this."  
  
  
"She can't?" Kaji said with a puzzled expression on his face. "Why not?"  
  
  
Shinji took a moment to clear his throat. "It's...relationship problems." The Eva pilot hung his head down as he tried to avoid the curious gaze the man across the desk was giving him. "I need your advice on some things...man to man."  
  
  
"Then you have come to the right place," Kaji said with a confident smile. "No one knows more about the fairer sex then Ryouji Kaji." The boy looked up and grinned sheepishly. "But wait," the pony-tailed man said, his smile quickly replaced with a frown. "I don't think Misato would appreciate me being there, never mind the topic. She is still pretty mad at me ...how about my place? I have free porn."  
  
  
"No," Shinji said quickly, a hint of panic in his voice. "Wait a minute...did you say free porn?" He watched as Kaji nodded his head and smiled. "No, no, no!" the Third Child cried, his head shaking back and forth in an effort to convince himself to ignore the generous offer. "It has to be at my apartment." The boy paused for a few moments and closed his eyes in deep thought. "Don't worry about Misato," he said, "she won't be there...I'll even cook up a nice dinner."  
  
  
"Okay, as long as she's not going to be there that's fine."  
  
  
"Great, I will see you tomorrow...say around six?" Shinji said as he stood up and prepared to leave.  
  
  
"Six o'clock it is," Kaji replied, standing up and walking around his desk to escort the boy out. "Do you need me to bring any...demonstration material?"  
  
  
"Demonstration material?"  
  
  
"You know," the older man winked, "picture books and magazines. I have one that Misato bought me right after we starting going out. Back then she credited it with saving our relationship."  
  
  
"Um...I don't think I need any books or magazines," Shinji said, "besides Kensuke has already loaned me more then enough...material." The pilot turned and walked toward the door. "Hey Kaji," he said as he stopped and stared at an object partially hidden from view, "what kind of plant is this?" Gazing into the secret compartment he could see that it was dark green in color, and had a distinct five leaf pattern, each with very sharp, tooth-like edges. Leaning forward Shinji noticed a very conspicuous odor emanating for it.  
  
  
"That," Kaji chuckled as he pushed the boy away and out the door, "that's a special type of plant that I starting growing back in college."   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Just look at those two," Asuka exclaimed as she watched her housemate and best friend in the distance. Out in the green grass of the schoolyard, the girl was lying on her back, gazing up at the clear blue sky, while the boy sat astride her, leaning forward just a bit. After a few moments the young woman reached up and gently caressed his cheek, causing him to fall upon her in a tight embrace. "I feel sick."  
  
  
"Did you eat a burrito?"  
  
  
"No I didn't eat a burrito!" she exclaimed, turning and scowling at the track suited boy.   
  
  
"Well you said you felt sick," he replied sheepishly.  
  
  
"That doesn't mean I'm actually sick, you Stooge!" Asuka huffed, placing her hands on her hips in annoyance. "Just because I say I feel sick, doesn't mean I FEEL sick."   
  
  
"And she calls me the 'moron'," Touji whispered to the smaller boy sitting next to him. "I hope I never get stuck with her in a class project."   
  
  
"What Sohryu is implying is that her statement, 'I feel sick', is a metaphor rather then a literal statement."  
  
  
"A metaphor?" Touji pondered, scratching his head in bewilderment. Turning to the blue haired girl sitting next to him, he posed a question. "I thought metaphor's came from outer space?"  
  
  
"That would be a meteor you idiot!" Asuka bellowed, gritting her teeth and shaking her fists menacingly at him. "The only way you are going to get into college is when you come by on Tuesdays to pick up the trash."  
  
  
Ignoring the angry German's tirade behind him, Touji spoke to the girl sitting next to him. "Rei, do you think there might be some radiation from the metaphor making the Devil feel sick?"   
  
  
The First Child bowed her head and shook it slowly from side to side.  
  
  
Touji suddenly found himself being spun around, his image of Rei now replaced by the none too happy visage of the Second Child. "Listen to me you horse's ass. A METEOR falls from outer space. It's made of rock, same as this," she said, making a fist and knocking him on the head. "A METAPHOR is a group of words that have a symbolic meaning...speaking of which," she hesitated, turning her gaze to the silent First Child. "What does a doll like you know about metaphors?"  
  
  
"I'm not a doll," Rei replied flatly, pausing for a moment before continuing. "As for metaphors, I am quite versed on most of the advanced forms of literary devices."  
  
  
"Of course you are," Asuka muttered through her smirk, "what with all the public speaking you do." She waited for some type of reply from the Unit 00 pilot, finally deciding that none was forthcoming she spoke again, this time much louder. "So, Sigmund First...care to tell us what you think my comment about feeling sick meant?"  
  
  
Rei shook her head slowly back and forth. "You do not wish to know the truth."  
  
  
"What are you, stupid?" Asuka chuckled as her mouth turned up into a smile. "Go right ahead and give me your thoughts on the subject. And make sure you speak up so the two Stooges here can see how wrong you are."   
  
  
The First Child looked at Asuka for a moment before breaking the gaze and staring off into the distance. "You become upset upon watching Shinji with another."  
  
  
"WHAT?" the redhead shouted, "why should I be upset that..."  
  
  
"Not at him," Rei continued, silencing the Second, "but at yourself for the feelings you are developing for him."  
  
  
"Feelings?" Asuka exclaimed with an incredulous look on her face. "What feelings?"  
  
  
"For your entire life you have pushed people away, refused to allow them to be close to you out of fear that they will leave you," Rei said turning back to look at her fellow pilot. "Now you are starting to see the error in that logic."  
  
  
"Oh that's rich," the Second replied, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible, "you're telling me that I am mad at myself for liking the idiot and on top of that I have abandonment issues. Interesting diagnosis Ayanami, I needed a good laugh. Is that all?"  
  
  
Rei regarded the other girl curiously for a moment before she spoke. "You are afraid that he does not express the same feelings about you."  
  
  
Asuka stood in frozen silence for more then a few heartbeats, her once arrogant appearance now gone. The First Child had ripped her inner most secrets out and put them on public display. Finally screwing up what little pride she felt she had left, the redhead spoke. "Wrong Wondergirl," Asuka said as nonchalantly as possible, "it was the burrito."  
  
  
"I knew it," Touji said turning toward his friend and smiling. "They never fail."  
  
  
"And you can just shut up!" the Second screamed, turning to face him with a nasty scowl on her face. "For once can you take you stupid mind off food and realize that Shinji and Hikari are serious about this relationship."  
  
  
"Why wouldn't they be? he inquired.  
  
  
"B...because...because," she stammered before deciding that given all then events of the day, perhaps the truth might be best. And she had nothing to lose. "Because Shinji only agreed to go out with her to make you see what you are missing," she sighed, "to make you jealous. I arranged the whole thing."  
  
  
"You did what?"  
  
  
"We staged the whole thing," Asuka said with a frown, "to try and get the two of you together."  
  
  
"So you're saying that you and Shinji were trying to help me go out with Hikari?" Touji replied.  
  
  
"Don't get so full of yourself, moron," Asuka said as she turned to observe the two children now sitting in the distance. "Personally I could care less if you died a virgin, or just plain died, but Shinji is your friend and when I came up with a plan to encourage Hikari he insisted on helping."   
  
  
"Did she know about this?" he asked.  
  
  
"No," Asuka said shaking her head. "She didn't know anything about it. Shinji was supposed to go out on one date, ONE DATE, and then dump her...leaving you to pick up the pieces. It was foolproof."  
  
  
"So what happened?" Kensuke said.  
  
  
Asuka lowered her head and stared at the ground below. "I guess the two of them hit it off and Shinji decided to make it real."  
  
  
"I'm such a jerk," Touji lamented as he stepped next to the redhead and joined her in staring at the ground. "To think you guys had to go through all that trouble because I was too scared to tell her myself."  
  
  
"You don't need her," Kensuke said, slapping his friend on the back. "You've got all those other girls you were talking about. You already said you didn't like her."  
  
  
"Why don't you shut up for once in your life," Touji snapped, drawing his fist back and threatening to unload it on the other boy. "I'm not in the mood."  
  
  
Looking at the pained expression on his friend's face, it was quite apparent that he was telling the truth. "Well excuse me for living," the spectacled boy jeered, stepping back out of arm's length.   
  
  
"That can be remedied," Asuka said, balling her hand into a fist and joining the track suited boy in glaring at the smaller boy. "Give me one good reason."  
  
  
"I've got to go," Kensuke said as he quickly grabbed his books and darted off toward the school.  
  
  
Asuka smirked as she watched the retreating boy run away. Suddenly another thought entered her mind. "Hey," she grumbled as she began rapidly turning her head from left to right in search of something. "Where did Wondergirl go?"  
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Hello Hikari...Shinji."  
  
  
"Hi Rei," Shinji said with a smile as he looked up to acknowledge her.  
  
  
"Why don't you sit down and join us," Hikari said, motioning to the grass beside her.  
  
  
"Thank you," Rei replied as she carefully arranged her dress before gently lowering herself onto the ground.   
  
  
"So what brings you over here?" the class rep inquired.  
  
  
"I regret that I have been lax in my maid of honor duties, although in my defense I must admit I am unsure what I am supposed to be doing," the blue hair girl said softly, provoking a laugh from the pigtailed girl sitting next to her. Turning to watch the giggling girl, she quickly continued, "although I have maintained the secrecy that Major Katsuragi has deemed necessary."  
  
  
"That's alright," Hikari chuckled, bringing her hand up to her mouth in an effort to contain herself. "There's really nothing for you to do right now."  
  
  
"Yeah Rei," Shinji added, fighting his own laughter as he spoke, "don't worry about anything."  
  
  
"I am relieved," Rei whispered, her lips turning up into a slight smile to return the ones the other boy and girl were giving her. "I do not wish to spoil your special day."  
  
  
"We'll take care of that."   
  
  
The three children looked up to see the towering images of Touji and Asuka standing before them. The sun was situated directly behind them, casting a halo over their heads and blocking out their facial expressions and replacing them with blank shadows.  
  
  
"How nice of you to join us" Hikari snapped. "And here I thought you weren't talking to me after yesterday."  
  
  
"I'm not...or more precisely I WON'T be after this," Asuka said crossing her arms on her chest.  
  
  
The class rep squinted as she looked up, quickly placing her hand on her forehead as a visor to block the sun. Edging from left to right she tried to remain in the Second Child's shadow to block the sunlight. "Then I look forward to the end of this conversation."  
  
  
Asuka frowned at her friend's comment. "Since we were once best friends, I thought that I should tell you the truth about your boyfriend."  
  
  
"The truth?" Hikari replied with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
  
"Asuka," Shinji said as he stood to properly address her, "what are you doing?" He took a step toward her as his tone started to sound more panicked. "You don't need to get into this right now."  
  
  
"Let her speak," Touji said loudly as he stepped in front of the Third Child, crossing his arms on his chest and glowering at the Eva pilot. "I want Hikari to hear what she has to say. Go ahead Red."  
  
  
"Thank you, Stooge," Asuka said with a nod. Turning back she addressed her friend. "Hikari, I want to tell you that Shinji..."  
  
  
"Asuka, no!" Shinji cried out, trying to lean around the larger boy and make his point known, but finding his way blocked by an obviously dismayed Touji.  
  
  
"That's okay Shinji," the freckle faced girl smiled reassuringly at him. "I want to hear what she has to say...I don't want any secrets in our relationship." Slowly the girl rose to her feet and stood directly in front of her best friend. "I'm listening."  
  
  
Asuka paused for a moment, her smirk testament to the pleasure she was about to receive once she told the other girl about Shinji's role in their relationship. "I thought you should know that Shinji is only pretending to like you. The only reason he went out on a date with you is because it was part of a plan I devise to get you and the moron here, together."  
  
  
As she finished, Touji turned and grinned, his finger pointing at himself. "I'm the moron she's talking about."   
  
  
Hikari quickly raised her hand to cover her mouth as she gasped in shock. Turning slowly away from Asuka she gazed at the Third Child and frowned. "Shinji, is this true?"  
  
  
Shinji's eyes met hers for just a moment before he lowered them and hung his head in shame. He dug his hands into his pockets as he watched his feet shuffle aimlessly back and forth.  
  
  
"The girl asked you a question," Touji grumbled, stepping forward a bit for intimidation.  
  
  
"I...I should have...but...well," Shinji stammered, unable to properly form the words. Taking a deep breath he continued softly, never bothering to look up at her. "Asuka's right."  
  
  
"Shinji," the class rep exclaimed, pushing Touji out of the way and standing directly in front of the boy. "I can't believe it!" she yelled, pointing her finger at the Eva Pilot as she forced him back, "How could you do such a thing to me?"  
  
  
"I'm sorry," he replied sheepishly.  
  
  
"Don't give me sorry!" she snapped.  
  
  
Asuka and Touji turned to one another, each with a beaming smile as they watched Hikari jabbing the boy in the chest with her finger, grumbling incoherently at him. "So, do you still feel the same about your wonderful boyfriend now?" the redhead shouted, "or should I cancel the band for the wedding?" She watched as the pigtailed girl stopped what she was doing and stood silently facing away from them.  
  
  
"Of course I still feel the same," Hikari said not bothering to turn around, "after all he's never lied to me, unlike you did when you pretended to be going out with him."   
  
  
"But...how...why...", Asuka said in a panicked tone. "How did you know that Shinji and I were only faking it?" She glanced over her friend's shoulder to see the smiling face of the Third Child and imaged that the class rep's face looked much the same way. "He told you...didn't he?"  
  
  
Hikari turned around as Shinji stepped up next to her. "He told me the night of our first date, he felt it was important that I know everything. No secrets. No games. We were only pretending just now to see if you would finally tell the truth."   
  
  
"I see," was all Asuka could manage to say, her mind still trying to formulate what had happened.  
  
  
"Don't worry," Hikari said her mouth turning up into a grin, "I was mad at first because I told you not to meddle, but you did help me find my true love, so for that I am grateful." She stepped forward and gave her friend a hug. "Thank you very much...I'm SO happy."  
  
  
The Second Child gingerly returned the embrace, her face conveying the uneasiness she was feeling. "Y...you're welcome...I guess."  
  
  
The class rep pulled free from the clinch and stepped back, clasping Shinji's hand. "Of course this wasn't your original intent," she said, stealing a quick glance at Touji, "but fate works in mysterious ways. Don't you think so, Asuka?" She watched as the Unit 02 Pilot's gaze seemed to be transfixed on their intertwined hands. "Asuka?"  
  
  
"Huh...what?" she replied, snapping out of her daze, "yeah sure, mysterious ways."  
  
  
"Asuka," Shinji said softly, her sky blue eyes meeting his, "are you alright? Is there something wrong?"  
  
  
An uneasy silence fell over them. For many heartbeats the two Children stared at one another, the other two teenagers reduced to nothing more then mere spectators. "Nothing at all," Asuka grumbled as she turned away.  
  
  
Touji watched as the fiery German took a few steps toward him, unable to mistake the pained expression on her face. "So that's it?" he said, placing his arm out to stop her retreat.  
  
  
She looked at his hand grasping her forearm and frowned. With a quick flick, she pulled herself free and turned to face him. "That's it...game over. I tried to help you, but they win, you lose."  
  
  
"Like hell," he exclaimed, pushing past her and marching toward Shinji and Hikari. "Come on, Ikari," he said, raising his fists in a fighting stance. "Let's settle this like men."  
  
  
"Settle what?" Shinji replied curiously as Hikari quickly stepped in between them. Touji began to circle the class rep, attempting to catch the Eva Pilot as he tried desperately to keep his girlfriend between them.  
  
  
"Settle who gets Hikari."  
  
  
"What are you talking about?" Shinji whined, ducking to dodge his friend's grasp as he reached past the girl and tried to grab him.  
  
  
"Asuka!" Hikari screamed, never taking her eyes off Touji as she fought to counter his every move. His arms periodically shot past her in futile attempts to capture his elusive prey, thankfully never hitting her. "Asuka I could REALLY use some help here."  
  
  
"Why?" the Second Child replied with her trademark smirk as she walked back over to observe the disturbance. "I say let them fight, this should be fun."  
  
  
"ASUKA!" the freckled faced girl screamed, holding her arms out to push the two combatants as far away as possible. Actually Shinji was more then willing to remain at an arms length and Touji was far too scared he might accidentally hit the girl to put up too much of a struggle. She quickly glanced at the track-suited boy to assure that he was contained before turning to address her friend. "Please help me," she pleaded, "before somebody gets hurt."  
  
  
"Alright," Asuka sighed as she walked over and grabbed Shinji in a headlock. "I'll take care of this idiot, you take care of that one.  
  
  
"Um...Asuka," Hikari said softly as she watched the boy struggle in her friend's grip. "I don't think Shinji wanted to fight. You don't need to do that."  
  
  
"Do you want my help or not?" the redhead said as she redoubled her efforts to forcibly remove the boy's head from his body.  
  
  
"Break his neck," Touji clamored.  
  
  
"You be quiet!" Hikari snapped, turning around and pushing him in the chest. "I don't want to hear another word out of you!"  
  
  
"What?" the boy gasped in shock as she continued pushing him, each time a bit harder then the last.  
  
  
"You heard me, be quiet!" she shouted, all her pushing finally succeeding in gaining some distance between themselves and the Children behind them. "What is your problem?"  
  
  
"Shinji's my problem," Touji said loudly. "He's always been my problem!"  
  
  
Sensing that he had been moved as far as he was willing to go, Hikari stopped pushing and simply stood in front of him. "Is this about your sister?"  
  
  
"My sister?" he replied with a puzzled look on his face, "what does Kimiko have to do with this?"  
  
  
Hikari spoke softly, given the seriousness of the situation regarding the Suzahara sibling injured in the battle with the Third Angel. "I...I know what happened to her and how you blamed Shinji for causing it."  
  
  
"Oh THAT," he snickered, triggering a curious gaze from the class rep. "Truth be told, come to find out later she was actually hurt AFTER the Angel attack. She was looting some of the damaged shops and a piece of the roof fell on her. She only said it was caused by the Eva so the NERV insurance company would cover it."  
  
  
"So you punched him in the face for nothing?"  
  
  
Touji ran his fingers nervously through his hair and chuckled softly. "In hindsight, yes, although in my defense we didn't find the truth out until later," he nodded.  
  
  
"That's terrible," Hikari gasped, "I hope she learned her lesson!"  
  
Touji shook his head. "Actually she didn't. Kimiko made so much money from the fake Eva incident that she decided to quit school and make a career out of it. She's been jumping in front of busses and cars for a few months now."   
  
  
"But...but," Hikari interrupted, "you're always visiting her in the hospital."  
  
  
"Hey, I never said she was good at it."   
  
  
"What do you want me to do with this dork?" Asuka called out from behind them. "His face is turning blue and he stopped struggling a couple of minutes ago."  
  
  
"Let him go!" Hikari replied, watching his lifeless body falling to the ground as she released him. After a few moments he struggled to his knees as he fought to catch his breath. "So," she said as she turned to again face Touji, "if it's not Kimiko then what is the problem with Shinji. You guys are supposed to be best friends."  
  
  
"Best friends don't steal from one another," he said crossly as a frown formed on his face. "Best friends don't go out with the girl of your dreams."  
  
  
"I'm the girl of your..." she started to say before he cut her off.  
  
  
"I know I shouldn't blame him...it's my fault. I never told you how I felt, and now it's too late." Touji hung his head, turned and began walking home.  
  
  
"Just wait a minute," she said as she grabbed his arm.  
  
  
"Please, Hikari," the boy sighed, "I want to be alone."  
  
  
"Hey Shinji," Hikari called out over her shoulder. Hearing his acknowledgement she continued. "Touji's pretty upset. I'm going to walk him home and try to sort this out. I'll see you later."  
  
  
"Okay," he called back, wincing in pain as Asuka twisted his arm a bit harder behind his back.  
  
  
"You be quiet," the red head grumbled.  
  
  
"Oh and Shinji," she yelled, turning around to ensure he was paying attention. "I think we are all set for tomorrow."   
  
  
---------  
  
  
"Coming," Shinji yelled into the intercom as he heard Kaji's familiar voice.  
  
  
Moving his boiling pot to an open space on the stove, the boy wiped his hands on the "Add Some Spice to Your Life, Do It With A Cook" apron while he quickly strode across the kitchen and down the hall to open the door. As it slid to the side he caught sight of the grinning man.  
  
  
"I can't object to the premise," he said after quickly read the kanji, "but I have to think your message is lost in the delivery." He grabbed a bit of the lacy fringe that surrounded the garment, running the frilly substance between his fingers as he spoke. "We are here to talk about women, right?"   
  
  
"Very funny," Shinji replied dryly as he stepped back and allowed the older man to enter. "It's Misato's."  
  
  
"I should have guessed by the fact it's still in pristine condition."   
  
  
Glancing down the Third Child frowned as he noticed the stack of books and magazines under the man's arm. "I thought I told you I didn't need any...visual material."  
  
  
"What, these?" the super spy said as he followed the boy into the kitchen. Placing the reading material down on the table, he pulled out a chair and sat down as Shinji began adding and stirring ingredients to the various pots. "This...visual material...as you like to call it, was for the ride over."  
  
  
"You took the train? I figured you'd drive your car over."  
  
  
"I did," the unshaven man replied flatly as he thumbed through one of the magazines. "This city's got red lights you know."   
  
  
Shinji stopped stirring for a moment, prepared to make a comment about the man's obsession, when his better judgement stepped in. Simply shaking his head he finished stirring in the seasoning and was turning off the burners as he heard the man walk up next to him.   
  
  
"So," Kaji called out from the open refrigerator as he fumbled about inside, "what do you want to talk about?" Emerging with two cans of Yebisu he returned to his seat. "You looking for some pointers on how to make the 'big score'?"  
  
  
"Big score?" Shinji replied as he turned and walked over to the table. Pulling off the apron he carefully laid it across the back of his chair before he sat down. "I didn't want a beer, Kaji" he said glancing down at the unopened container in front of the man.  
  
  
"This isn't for you," he said with a grin. "Saves me from making a trip later. Now what were we talking about?"  
  
  
"The big score," the dark haired boy said softly as if trying to distance himself from the entire subject.  
  
  
"Now you know what that is," the pony tailed man chuckled, "don't you?" The boy nodded in agreement. "Good, and I assume you have made one?" Shinji shook his head before the Kaji continued, "how old are you?"  
  
  
"Fifteen, almost sixteen."  
  
  
"Almost sixteen? And you've never scored?" Kaji exclaimed.  
  
  
Shinji thought for a moment. "I don't think so."  
  
  
"When I was your age I had women all over. I had a girl in Tokyo-2, and another in New Kobe. And there was this one hottie who worked as a massage therapist at the Kodai Resort and Spa," he said excitedly, flipping his fingers out one at a time as a running total. "Not to mention all the one night stands."   
  
  
"One night stands?" Shinji said, trying to shake the feeling of deja vue.  
  
  
"Sure, you know how it is. I was fighting them off with a stick." The Third Child was forced to watch as Kaji began to flex his muscles. "Hell, I'm still fighting them off with a stick. All the girlies want a piece of the Kaji-man!"  
  
  
"That's great," the Eva pilot said trying to sound as enthused as possible, "but can we get back to my..."  
  
  
"So you don't believe me?" Kaji interrupted loudly.   
  
  
"But I do!" Shinji protested.  
  
  
"Listen here," the dark haired man began his voice sounding oddly cold. "I AM a stud and don't you forget it. Why don't you ask me about the little angel I picked up while I was in Germany. Go ahead, ask me!"   
  
  
"Fine," the boy said sharply, upset at the direction the conversation had taken. "Tell me all about it," he added sarcastically.  
  
  
"What more can I say," Kaji said as a conceited grin grew on his face. "This angel was hot...HOT, I tell you." He took a sip of his beer before continuing. "Melt the ice cap hot."   
  
  
"So what happened?" Shinji muttered his chin resting firmly in his palm as his eyes wandered about the room taking in the decor.  
  
  
"Well...we came back to Japan and lost touch. Last I knew, it was with your father."   
  
  
"That's wonderful," the Third Child said energetically, "what a great story. Now can we get back to my problem?"  
  
  
Before Kaji could answer the somewhat calm atmosphere of the apartment was broken as the front door slid open and two new voices could be heard. The occupants at the table turned and listened to the exchange at the far end of the entrance hall.  
  
  
"What a colossal waste of time!" Asuka shouted as she slipped off her shoes. "Leave it up to the idiot's father to mistake the Yebisu blimp for an Angel."   
  
  
"Now, now, Asuka," Misato replied, "Commander Ikari is allowed to make mistakes too. It's better to be safe then sorry. I just wonder why he didn't verify it was an Angel before calling us in? Or better yet, why didn't he set off the Angel alarms? And where were Rei and Shinji? Something funny is going on."  
  
  
"The only funny thing was the way it shot across the sky after I popped it with my prog knife..."   
  
  
The sounds of the voices were getting closer as Kaji frowned to Shinji. "I thought you said Misato wasn't going to be here?"  
  
  
"She's wasn't supposed to," he whispered back.  
  
  
"That's what happens when you release all that hot air," Misato said, turning the corner and entering the kitchen, her eyes immediately focusing on a certain individual. "Speaking of hot air..."  
  
  
"KAJI," Asuka squealed, her school uniform becoming a blue blur as she pushed past her guardian to get a better look.  
  
  
"Hello, beautiful," he replied staring directly at Misato. "Care to sit down?"  
  
  
"Thanks," the Second Child replied, quickly sitting in the seat he offered. "I just finished saving the world...again. Do you want to hear about it?"  
  
  
"You destroyed a balloon," Misato grumbled, falling into the sole remaining open chair. "A very expensive balloon." Reaching out she grabbed the extra beer from in front of Kaji and opened it. "The paperwork tomorrow is going to be enormous." She took a fairly long gulp of beer before continuing. "Asuka, didn't you even look to make sure it was an Angel?"  
  
  
Asuka shook her head. "I did look. You know how bad I am at kanji. It's not my fault that Yebisu decided to design their blimp with black and white stripes on it. Sure looked like that Angel that swallowed up the moron here."  
  
  
"Even I have to admit I don't see the logic in designing an advertising campaign around the Twelfth Angel," Misato said as she placed her beer down on the table. "Seems awfully tacky."  
  
  
"It's for their new double alcohol beer, Yebisu Obliterator," Kaji offered. "Their slogan is for those who want to get so drunk they leave this plane of existence and enter a Sea of Dirac."   
  
  
"Besides," Asuka said turning to face the Third Child, "without Invincible Shinji and Wondergirl there to back me up I was scared and, hey...come to think of it, just where exactly were you two!"   
  
  
"What do you mean?" Shinji replied.  
  
  
"Were you and Rei too busy doing it to bother helping me?"  
  
  
"Doing what?" he protested.  
  
  
"Geez...Misato," Asuka muttered as she turned to her guardian. "Throw a bucket of cold water on them, would you? They're like a couple of dogs in heat."  
  
  
"Come on Asuka," the purple haired woman grinned, "you know that Shinji and Rei aren't doing anything. Besides, he's going out with Hikari."  
  
  
"I'm well aware of that fact, " the redhead grumbled, "but he's a man and all men want one thing."  
  
  
"A beer," Kaji said thoughtfully.  
  
  
"Um...No," Asuka said slowly, giving the pony-tailed man a curious look over her crooked smile.  
  
  
"No, I WANT a beer," he replied, tipping his empty can upside down and motioning toward the refrigerator.   
  
  
"Anyway," Asuka snapped, turning back toward her guardian, "men want sex and Wondergirl is just the type to give it up to idiot boy over here." She pointed to her fellow Pilot and smirked. "I bet they've been doing it for a while now."  
  
  
"We have not," Shinji chuckled.  
  
  
"Yes you have," Asuka retorted, sounding quite serious.  
  
  
"No we haven't," he said shaking his head for emphasis.  
  
  
"Have too."  
  
  
"Have not."  
  
  
"Misato," Asuka said fixing her gaze on the NERV Operations Director, "make him tell the truth, because I know that..." She paused as she finally noticed the expression on the woman's face. "What are you smiling about?" the redhead inquired.  
  
  
The Major took a drink of her beer. "I love it when you get all jealous," she said in her light, mocking tone. "It's so cute."  
  
  
"Shut up!" Asuka bellowed. Misato stuck out her tongue and smirked, driving the girl insane with her smugness. She balled her hand into a fist and contemplated the effects of a carefully timed blow to the woman's jaw, deciding instead for a different approach. "Why Kaji," she said standing from the table, "let me get you another beer."  
  
  
"Thank you Asuka," he replied with a smile. "You're so good to me."  
  
  
"I'd do anything for you, Kaji."  
  
  
"I bet," Shinji muttered under his breath.  
  
  
"What did you say, Third Child?" Asuka shouted as she looked up over the open door of the refrigerator. "I didn't catch that."  
  
  
"Nothing," he said, turning away.  
  
  
"Jerk," she said, disappearing behind the metal door again.   
  
  
"Asuka?" Misato called out, "could you be a dear and get me one too?"  
  
  
"Get your own," she responded, emerging from the icebox holding out a beer in one hand and a soda in her other. Using her hip to close the door she place a can in front of Kaji. "Here you go, handsome," she smiled, "when you're ready for another just ask."  
  
  
Misato watched as Asuka edged her chair closer to her on again, off again lover before sitting down. "Shinji," she sighed as she turned to face him. A year's worth of training was not lost on the boy as she watched him return her smile, nod slightly and stand.  
  
  
"You know Misato," Shinji said as he made his way around the table, staring for a moment as Asuka tried to flirt with Kaji. "That guy from the brewery called you today."  
  
  
"Mr. Yamadera?"  
  
  
"Yes, that's the one," Shinji nodded as he grabbed three beers from the cooler.   
  
  
"I wonder what he wanted," Misato pondered aloud, frowning as she stole a quick glance of Asuka and Kaji. "I hope they're not going to strike again."  
  
  
"Oh it's nothing like that," he replied, placing the two of containers in front of her. Bending down he handed the last to a patiently waiting penguin standing below his feet. "He said it was a personal call."  
  
  
"A personal call?" the purple haired woman and her suddenly interested sometime boyfriend exclaimed simultaneously.  
  
  
Shinji's lips seemed to curl up just a bit as he noticed both sets of their eyes on him. "Yes, he wondered if it would be possible for you to join him on his yacht for the weekend."  
  
  
"His YACHT!"   
  
  
"Yes," Shinji nodded at an obviously shaken Kaji before continuing, "he said he could send a car to pick you up and take you to the airport to meet his private jet."  
  
  
"PRIVATE JET!"  
  
  
"Well he is one of the richest men on all of Japan, Kaji," Misato said matter of factly. Popping the top on one of the cans in front of her she took a long sip. "As opposed to being a yen-less bum like you."  
  
  
Kaji gazed over at his one time girlfriend, taking a moment or two to judge her reaction to the news. "You can't seriously be thinking of going, Katsuragi," he said nervously. "Koichi Yamadera is positively ancient. What is he like...sixty?"  
  
  
"Try forty eight," Misato smirked, taking noticeable pleasure in watching Kaji fidget about nervously in his seat. "And quite a looker I might add."  
  
  
"Giving up your principles for money," Kaji said coolly, turning toward Asuka and smiling as if to prove he really didn't care. "I never dreamed you would be so shallow."  
  
  
"Ryouji Kaji calling me shallow, that's laugh," the Major chuckled before slamming her beer can down. "You're so shallow your practically transparent!"  
  
  
"Let's eat," Shinji said loudly, springing up from the table as Misato and Kaji glared at one another. "Asuka can you help me serve?"  
  
  
"Go away," she snorted, enjoying the boy's dejected look as she grasped her neighbor's arm and held on for dear life. "I'm spending time with a real man."  
  
  
"Asuka, please?"  
  
  
"Call Hikari or Rei, maybe they'll come help," she replied bitterly.  
  
  
"Asuka, go help Shinji," Misato said forcefully, narrowing her eyes as she looked at her charge. "Right now."  
  
  
"It's not fair," the Second Child protested, leaning forward and resting her head on Kaji's shoulder. "You're just trying to keep us apart."  
  
  
Kaji made a careful mental note as he noticed Misato's reaction to Asuka's amorous behavior. His years as a spy had taught him how to read a persons thoughts and feelings, a skill that had helped him innumerable times. And right now he saw a good opportunity to use it again.  
  
  
"Don't worry about Misato," he said turning and smiling at the Second. "Soon she'll be off with her millionaire boyfriend and then it will be just the two of us."  
  
  
"Try billionaire," the Major said through her wry smile.  
  
  
"Billionaire?" Kaji gulped, taking a moment to regard the purple haired woman's smiling face before turning back to the girl. "So Asuka, you are looking absolutely ravishing tonight."  
  
  
"Thank you," she said before turning a resentful glare at her fellow pilot. "It's nice to know that SOME people still notice."  
  
  
"Yes...and you're not only getting more beautiful each day, your growing up...and out."  
  
  
"What?" Asuka exclaimed, pulling away from his arm.  
  
  
"How old are you now?" Kaji inquired. "Are you eighteen yet?" he said with a wink.   
  
  
"I...I'm fifteen," she said uneasily inching her chair back a bit from him. "Sweet sixteen in December."   
  
  
"And fifteen will get you eight to ten," Misato chuckled as she popped the top on her second beer.  
  
  
Kaji stared over at the woman, her gloating expression and full of herself tone had finally worn thin. "Nobody wants to hear your opinions, Katsuragi. Maybe you should shut the hell up and go yachting or something with Mr. Moneybags."  
  
  
"You better believe I'm going to speak up when you're trying to pick up my fifteen year old," Misato replied.  
  
  
"I'm not trying to pick her up," he said, crossing his arms on his chest and closing his eyes to appear as uncaring as possible. "I was just having some fun with her."  
  
  
"Kaji...I thought..." Asuka said softly, the warmth flowing out of her smile.  
  
  
"Like that's any better," Misato interrupted, "you KNOW how much that girl worships you."  
  
  
"So what?" Kaji returned, his tone full of bitterness. "I find it ironic that you're concerned about me leading her on when all you do is lead me on."  
  
  
"I lead you on?" the purple haired woman bellowed, slamming her beer can down and in the process sending some of the liquid spraying on the table. "I lead you on?"  
  
  
"You do," he exclaimed, his chair flying backward as he stood and leaned over the table to point at her. "Ever since we met you have been trying to keep things ambiguous between us. Every time I start to figure us out you always run away. First you had to leave me because I reminded you of your father. Then it was the Angels. Now I don't know what it is, but again you are running away. I want to help you in some way...what can I do?"  
  
  
"Don't do anything," Misato snapped, "don't come near me anymore because all you ever do is hurt me."  
  
  
"Please Misato...help me understand, you're the only one that can!"  
  
  
The Major slowly stood and grasped the edge of the table. In one swift motion she threw the table aside, sending plates and glasses falling to floor with a crash and narrowly missing the pair of stunned teenagers who had moved to the far side the room at the beginning of the heated exchange.   
  
  
"This isn't right," Shinji cried as he watched Misato begin to back the other man into a wall. "We have to stop this." He started to walk toward the pair but found his advance stopped as his companion grabbed and held his arm.  
  
  
"Shinji, don't," Asuka said softly, shaking her head slightly back and forth. "This is between them, you can't help."  
  
  
"But it wasn't supposed to be like this," he sighed.  
  
  
"There's nothing we can do."  
  
  
"You lair," Misato growled, getting right into the man's face with her own. "You're trying to pawn this off on me. You're the one afraid of making a commitment and giving yourself completely to another."  
  
  
"That's not true," Kaji whispered, turning his head to the side unable to stand her defiant look any longer.  
  
  
"It is, " she replied, "you're only using me as an escape...because that's easier then facing up to the truth. If you can't see that then I'm through with you Kaji, I never want to see you again."  
  
  
"Misato," the pony tailed man said softly, his head now hanging low, "please help me..."  
  
  
"How dare you keep putting this on me!" she screamed, her emotions coming to a boiling point. Staring for a moment at the man, she reached back and slapped him across the face. "How pathetic."  
  
  
Kaji stood rubbing his cheek as Misato turned away in disgust. "Please," he said weakly, "why won't you help me?" His jaw dropped in shock as she started to walk away. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed her arm, "don't leave me...don't abandon our relationship. Don't kill...us." He watched as she looked back over her shoulder at him, the earlier frown still etched in her face.  
  
  
"No."   
  
  
Ryouji Kaji grit his teeth and using the hand still clutching the woman, spun her violently around, his free hand darting up to catch hers as she tried to slap him again. With a look of sheer desperation and pain he held her arms and began pushing her backwards. After a few hurried steps, her back hit the far wall, his continued pushing, forcing her to slide down to the floor below. He straddled over her, and try as she might, she was unable to move, her arms were still held by his as he looked down into her tear filled eyes.   
  
  
"Kaji...please don't..." she whispered before her voice was suddenly robbed as he leaned down and kissed her. For the first time she could remember, he kissed her hard, not tentative or tempting, but rather of pure desire and longing. She found herself resisting his touch for but a moment, quickly giving in to the emotion and returning his passion with her own. He released her arms as he desperately tried to get them underneath her and pull her in tight. Arching her back slightly she helped him accomplish this feat as she too embraced him as tightly as she could. The two continued to paw at one another, never once breaking their kiss, as their bodies writhed about, the sounds of moaning only being broken by the sound of an occasional broken dish or glass being kicked about.  
  
  
"Misato," Kaji said, pulling away from her lips just enough to say the words. "I give you my heart and soul..."  
  
  
The woman did not respond, but rather pulled him back down on her, kissing him deeply as their bodies began rubbing together. The Eva Pilots stood in the background, speechless as they watched the spectacle unfold before them. After a few moments Kaji finished unbuttoning Misato's flight jacket, and was now desperately tugging at her uniform. For her part, Misato had succeeded in ripping open his shirt and was now working on his belt.   
  
  
"Ahem," Asuka said, pretending to clear her throat. "There are children present."  
  
  
Kaji reluctantly broke the embrace, edging to the side as Misato leaned up on her shoulders, her hair and clothes in complete disarray. Her eyes were still filled with tears, but now they were tears of joy, though they were still causing havoc with her mascara, the two long lines of black running from her bloodshot eyes down her cheeks below.  
  
  
"Sorry," the purple haired woman giggled. Turning to the side she caught sight of her lover and after the two stared at one another for a moment, they threw themselves together and again were kissing passionately.  
  
  
"Sex fiends..." Asuka groaned as she watched the pair make out in front of her. "I guess he's made his choice."  
  
  
"His choice?" Shinji quizzed.  
  
  
"Yes," she whispered, resigned to accept the truth. "I've lost again."  
  
  
The dark haired boy regarded her sad expression for a moment. "You didn't really expect Kaji to chose you? You're half his age."  
  
  
"Of course I did," she said loudly before thinking for a moment and lowering her tone a bit. "Well, I hoped he would."  
  
  
"Did you...honestly?"  
  
  
"Yes!" Asuka snapped, the rage and fury back in her voice. "This is ridiculous," she said, turned away for the boy to address the intertwined couple on the floor. "How long is this going to be...I'm starving."  
  
  
"Why don't you two go out to eat?" the purple haired woman said exasperatedly, her chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath. "Kaji and I have...something to discuss."  
  
  
"But Shinji made all this nice food...seems a shame to let it go to waste," Asuka smirked.  
  
  
"Wait a minute," she replied, giggling as her boyfriend nibbling on her ear. Moving his hand off her waist she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash before placing his hand back where it was. "Take this," she said throwing the money in the direction of the Children.   
  
  
"I don't know if that's enough," the redhead sighed mockingly as she thumbed through the money, "what do you think, Shinji?"  
  
  
The Third Child gazed over and noticed the playful look on her face. "I think you're right, Asuka. That's not enough money to feed both of us. I'll have to stay home."  
  
  
Kaji pulled away from the kiss he and Misato were engaged in. "Here," he exclaimed, grabbing his wallet and throwing it at Shinji. "I don't care if you take it all but just GO!"  
  
  
Asuka opened her mouth as was about to say something when Shinji grabbed her by the arm and led her out of the room and down the hall towards the front door. "You idiot," she said softy as they sat putting on their shoes, "another minute and we could have gotten their credit cards too."   
  
  
"Another minute and we would have gotten a free sex education," the Third smiled.  
  
  
---------  
  
  
"I don't hear anything," Shinji whispered. Standing with his ear to the door of their apartment, the Eva Pilot's face is the epitome of concentration as he listened intently for any movement or sign of life within.   
  
  
"What's that smell?" Asuka said, sniffing the air around her and finally crumpling her nose at the pungent aroma. "Something's burning."  
  
  
"I think it's a cigarette," he offered, taking a moment to sample the odor a couple of more times.   
  
  
"Doesn't smell like any cigarette I've ever seen."  
  
  
"You're right," Shinji said with a bewildered look on his face. "It smells a lot like that funny plant Kaji had in his office." Placing his ear back against the door he again listened for a moment. "It might be safe to go in."   
  
  
"I hope so," Asuka said placing her hands on her hips and sounding quite annoyed, "we've been gone for so long I need..."  
  
  
"Wait a minute," he interjected, holding his hand out in a signal for her to be quiet. "I hear something..."  
  
  
"What?" she replied, leaning forward a bit in an attempt to listen for herself.  
  
  
"Kaji just said that they've been cooped up in there for over two hours and Misato just said that she thinks she getting the hang of it," Shinji said softly, relaying the conversation as best he could. "And that...that...."  
  
  
"That what?" Asuka inquired, "that what?"  
  
  
Shinji sighed and stepped away from the door, slowly sliding down against the wall until he was seated. "Have a seat, Asuka...it's going to be a while."  
  
  
"Why?" she said, standing over him and gazing down with a curious look in her eye. "What did Misato say?"  
  
  
"She said wanted to do it again." As if on cue the sounds of lovemaking began emanating from the apartment.  
  
  
"How idiotic!" Asuka exclaimed, stamping her foot down in protest. "They're just two lonely adults comforting each other."  
  
  
"Really?" Shinji said looking up at her. "I thought they both looked...happy."  
  
  
"It's just an easy way for them to feel like they're worth something."   
  
  
The boy shook his head. "I think you're wrong," he said confidently, "I think finally their feelings toward one another are genuine."  
  
  
Asuka gave him a puzzled stare for a moment. "What are you stupid?" she huffed. "They're just pretending. It can't possibly last forever. It never does." She turned away focused on something in the distance. "Sooner or later they'll betray one another and end up hurt and alone again."  
  
  
Shinji looked over at the girl, her back still to him. "You can't honestly believe that."  
  
  
"I speak from experience, Shinji." She turned to face him, her appearance quite melancholy as she spoke again. "You wouldn't understand, and besides," she said, her expression turning to her common irate one, "why should I listen to you? You're no better then me when it comes to dealing with others."  
  
  
"I...I admit that I'm still afraid of what people think of me," he replied softly. "It scares me to think that no one will care about me, but at least I am trying." He paused for a moment and smiled up at her. "You know, I spent the first part of my life avoiding everyone because of these worries, but now I think that was wrong."  
  
  
"You don't understand anything!" she bellowed, pointing an accusing finger down at him. "Just stay away from me!"  
  
  
"But...I do understand," Shinji said quietly, averting his eyes from the redhead's glare.  
  
  
"No you don't, you IDIOT!" Asuka screamed, drawing her foot back and kicking the wall next to him. "You really think you can understand me? You think you can help me? How arrogant!"  
  
  
"If you would just talk to me, maybe I COULD understand."  
  
  
"Go talk to Hikari or the First. I'm sure they'll listen to you. As for me, you couldn't possibly understand. Face it Shinji, I don't need you for anything."   
  
  
"But if you would only..." he said before the girl cut him off.  
  
  
"Drop it!" Asuka said loudly.  
  
  
Looking up and noticing her gritting teeth and narrowed eyes, Shinji nodded slightly as he decided it was best to heed her advice, or perhaps the next foot would land squarely between his eyes. With a defeatist sigh, he lowered his head and drew his legs up. After a few moments he heard the Second Child slide slowly down the opposing wall as she took up a position opposite his.   
  
  
The two sat without speaking or responding to one another for a couple of minutes, the only sound heard was the rhythmic thumping and occasional screaming coming from the apartment. After a particularly loud vocal exchange between the older couple regarding whether Misato wanted it, and whether Kaji would give it all to her, Shinji began chuckling, unable to hold in his amusement any longer.  
  
  
"I wonder if I'll act like that when I get older?" Asuka muttered to herself as quietly as possible, all the while trying her best not to laugh nor show any signs of finding the running audio commentary comical.  
  
  
"What did you say?" Shinji said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he desperately tried his best to hold back his laughter.  
  
  
"Huh," Asuka replied, looking up at the boy sitting across from her. "I didn't say anything."  
  
  
"I thought I heard you say something."   
  
  
"Well you're wrong," she said shaking her head in denial.  
  
  
Shinji gave her a curious stare for a moment. "Sorry, I guess I was mistaken," he said softly. Drawing his feet under him, he slowly stood. Reaching down to brush the dirt off, he noticed she wasn't looking. "Of course, but you'll be louder..." he said softly.  
  
  
"What did you say?" Asuka bellowed, jumping to her feet and pushing him chest.  
  
  
"I didn't say anything," he smiled.  
  
  
"You said I was going to be just like Misato...only louder!" the redhead protested.  
  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Shinji said defensively as she pushed him again.  
  
  
"Fine, Third Child," Asuka said crossing her arms on her chest. "Play stupid all you want. We both know what you said." Her last push had left pinned against the wall, but rather then press her advantage she turned away from the grinning boy. "You only dream you could find out."  
  
  
"Find out what?" he inquired.  
  
  
She spun around, her face in an almost feral smile. "If I'm a screamer, like Misato." Her smile grew larger and more devious as she watched him blush at her comment. "Who knows...maybe you'll get Hikari to scream like that."  
  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
  
"What do you mean?" she exclaimed, "I've seen you and you're more than big..." Her words trailed off as now she was blushing quite hard. "Never mind that. What do you mean, you don't think so?"  
  
  
Shinji's opened and he prepared to speak, only to close it and think again about the words. After a moments deliberation he again opened his mouth and this time he actually spoke. "Hikari and I are...sorta breaking up."  
  
  
"Breaking up? Really? Why?" Asuka said enthusiastically. "What happened?"  
  
  
"It's pretty obvious that she likes Touji more then me," he sighed. "I think might be best if we broke up."  
  
  
"Touji?" the Second said skeptically, "do you really think so?"  
  
  
Shinji shook his head back and forth. "It's okay...really. I mean he is my friend and besides, I'm not sure I actually want to go out with Hikari anymore."  
  
  
"You don't?"  
  
  
"No. Having spent the past few days with her, I realized that she and I are too different to ever have a lasting relationship." Shinji dug his hands into his pockets and turned away from his fellow Eva Pilot. Taking a deep breath he started again. "I need someone who understands me better. She is a great person...just not for me."  
  
  
Asuka thought for a moment, contemplating his revelation. "You're going to tell her, right?"  
  
  
"Yes," he said without bothering to turn around. "I was going to tell her tomorrow."  
  
  
"Good," the Second Child nodded. "Just be nice about it...she's my friend and I don't want to see her hurt."  
  
  
"I understand."  
  
  
"Well," Asuka said happily, "as soon as you break up with Hikari things will get start to get back to normal."  
  
  
"Yes," he replied, slowly turning around to face her again. "And no more of these stupid games."  
  
  
"You're right," she nodded in agreement, "and I for one will be grateful to get back to the way things were. And you can start by making me lunch tomorrow, I've put on five pounds since I started eating that school food," she said frowning as she looked at her stomach.  
  
  
"You've got a deal," he said, a broad smile forming on his face. "I don't want you to have to use that Type-D plugsuit."  
  
  
"Very funny, Third Child," the German girl groaned, making a fist and wielding it menacingly.  
  
  
Suddenly the door to the apartment slid open, the groaning and moaning sounds of the couple within amplified without the insulation. Quickly a small figure waddled out as the door slid closed behind him.   
  
  
"Pen Pen?" Shinji said softly as he looked down at the bird standing below him. Gone was his distinctive black and white pattern, replaced instead with a completely white one, his eyes unblinking and the size of saucers. Slowly the penguin drew his beer can to his beak, his trembling flipper causing the majority of the amber liquid to end up spilling on the ground. Looking up at the Children, his eyes slowly rolled into the back of his head and he toppled over unconscious.   
  
  
"The poor thing's in shock," Asuka said as she observed the prone waterfowl, the Yebisu can lying on its side bubbling its contents around him. Using her foot she gingerly pushed the bird out of the alcoholic bath.   
  
  
"Um...Asuka?" Shinji said reluctantly. He waited until she finished moving the bird to a less traveled portion of the walkway before continuing. "I was...er...wondering if...um..."  
  
  
"Wondering what?" she replied, sounding a bit annoyed at his hemming and hawing.  
  
  
"Well...um," he started, clearing his throat and loosening his collar before taking a deep breath and finding the courage to continue. "Even though I didn't follow your plan EXACTLY, I did still sorta follow it...so I think you owe me that favor you promised."  
  
  
Asuka stroked her chin a couple of times as she reviewed his logic. "You didn't stick to my plan, and therefore I SHOULDN'T have to keep my end of the agreement," she said matter of factly, the boy's expression falling into a frown at her statement. Taking a dramatic pause to allow him to suffer for his indiscretion, she continued. "However since results are what matters and I suspect that after tomorrow's breakup Hikari will run to the arms of a certain Stooge, I guess I will hold up my end of the deal. Never let be said that Asuka Langley Sohryu doesn't keep her word."  
  
  
"Thanks, I want..." he was all he was able to reply before she cut him off.  
  
  
"Let me guess," she said boastfully, "you want the privilege of escorting me to the music festival this weekend?"  
  
  
"Um...actually, no."  
  
  
"No?" she questioned, sounding somewhat shocked at his reply. "What do you want then?" she said, placing her hands on hips and tapping her foot impatiently.   
  
  
"You see," he said softly, fidgeting about nervously as he spoke. "There is this girl I sorta like. Well, not really sorta, I mean really like. But I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same."  
  
  
"Shinji," Asuka snapped, "I thought we were all finished with these games!"  
  
  
"No," he protested, taking a moment to look deep into her eyes in testimony to his sincerity. "This is real. This girl has everything I want. She understands me. She understands Eva. She's beautiful. She's everything I've always wanted."  
  
  
"After everything that's happened over the past few weeks, you can't honestly expect me to believe you."  
  
  
"Asuka, you have to trust me, this isn't some scheme or strategy, this is how I truly feel," he pleaded. "And if you think about it, YOU have been the one behind deceiving everyone...not me."  
  
  
The girl stood and mulled over his words. "I guess you have a point...but trust me Third Child, if this turns out to be another of your games, I'll kill you!" She watched him cower back a bit her comments, smiling as she reasserted her dominance over her housemate. "Now what do you want me to do?"  
  
  
"I...I don't think she likes me," he stammered, shuffling his feet about aimlessly, "I mean she's gorgeous...too good for someone like me."  
  
  
"Really?" Asuka replied curiously.   
  
  
"Yes," he nodded enthusiastically, "probably the most beautiful girl I have ever met."   
  
  
"Most beautiful you ever met," the redhead reiterated, a slight smile forming on her face.  
  
  
"And she's smart too," he added.  
  
  
"Ravishing AND intelligent," she said, her smile growing as a slight blush was now beginning to form.  
  
  
"And best of all, I think she could really understand me...she even knows all about Eva."  
  
  
"That's great Shinji," Asuka said, turning away before her smile or blush became any more visible. Taking a moment to compose herself she asked him a question. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
  
"C...could you help me find out if she likes me too?" he said nervously. "I'm too afraid she will say no..."  
  
  
"You don't KNOW that," she replied with a smile. "After all, she just might say yes."  
  
  
"But I've known this girl for a long time, and she hasn't shown anything that makes me think she feels as strongly for me as I do for her," Shinji frowned.  
  
  
"You'll never know if you don't ask," Asuka observed smugly. "Now what do you want me to do?"  
  
  
"I have to ask you a question," he said uneasily, "but you have to PROMISE me first you're not going to say no."  
  
  
"I'm certainly not going to promise anything until I hear the question."  
  
  
"Come on, Asuka," he pleaded, "you know I wouldn't ask you to do anything improper...just promise you aren't going to say no to my question."  
  
  
Asuka thought for a moment, taking the time to observe the anxious look on her fellow pilot's face. Whatever it was had certainly worked up the boy, and she found herself trembling as bit as she reached a decision. "Fine," she said trying her best to sound as nonchalant as possible, "I promise not to say no. Now ask your question."  
  
  
Shinji smiled and took a deep breath. Stepping a bit closer to the Unit 02 pilot he stared her directly in the eyes, his deep blue gazing intensely into her own sky blue. "Asuka," he said, glancing down for just a second as he reaffirmed his confidence. "Asuka...could you please ask Rei if she likes me?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
  
Next Chapter: "Victory / Because I Need You"  
  
  
  
Whoa...holy crap, I made this into a R/S fic. I think Random might have brainwashed me or something. No, seriously, I said from the beginning that I wasn't going to give away the pairing or plot, and well, I have made it this far and since the next chapter is the last, all the answers will have to be revealed. All along I wanted to make an entertaining story that everyone could enjoy without any preconceived notions regarding the pairing issue. I also apologize if the cat petting line in there offended anybody. Here I made it almost 6 chapters without resorting to toilet humor, and well...blame my prereaders. I cut and pasted and cut and pasted that line about 15 times. But they thought it belonged and I had to agree so it stayed. There are a ton of End of Evangelion references in this chapter, and for a reason. I wanted to show that the same ideas about life that Shinji learned during Third Impact could be discovered without changing everyone to orange goo. And since there will be no 3I in this fic's world, I needed something to grow the characters. As for why I decided to bash Touji's sister...well she is always portrayed in such I sympathetic light I wanted to throw a wrench in that belief. And the name Koichi Yamadera was chosen specifically and for a very good reason.   
Big thanks to Random and Rhine for prereading, and I am shooting for completing the riveting conclusion to this story in the beginning of April. C&C welcome at ryoma3000@yahoo.com or at the www.Darkscribes.org forum. 20-17 C.T.T.W.C.N.E.P  
  
  
  
  
  
******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************  
  
  
Ryoma: Hello everybody and welcome to the chapter 6 Omake Theater. After taking a chapter off for a much needed vacation, I am back and have a really great show for you. Let me introduce my partner for tonight's show...Self-Insertion Ryoma.  
  
  
*Audience applauds loudly...some hoots and whistles are also heard.*  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Hi everybody! I'm Self-Insertion Ryoma, but you can call me SI Ryoma because it's less to type. I'll be helping Ryoma with the omake theater tonight.  
  
  
Ryoma: Say, SI Ryoma...did anyone tell you that you look a lot like Hentai Ryoma?  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Yes, and I have been know to act like him too.  
  
  
*More hoots and whistles*  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Seriously though, we should get on with the omake, I mean isn't this chapter long enough?  
  
  
Ryoma: You're telling me.   
  
  
SI Ryoma: Perhaps if you didn't pad your scenes so much...anyway for tonight's omake I would like to take a couple of scenes from tonight's chapter and put my own Self Insertion spin on them.  
  
  
Ryoma: That sounds good...and I DON'T pad my scenes, I make them rich with dialog and exposition.  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Sure you do...I can always tell exactly what the characters are wearing, and your descriptions of the atmosphere and scenery are easily on par with a Dick and Jane book.  
  
  
Ryoma: I'm trying to get better, isn't that good enough for you?  
  
  
SI Ryoma: You used to say the same thing in the backseat of your car with your first girlfriend...   
  
  
*Crowd erupts*  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Anyway, enough about your sordid past...let's get the omake underway. Robyn...can you hit the lights.   
  
  
  
  
  
"I need your assistance in a personal matter."  
  
  
"Sure," Misato said confidently, buoyed by her success with the Third. Smiling conceitedly at the other two women she called out to Rei. "What do you need help with?"   
  
  
The image of Rei Ayanami addressed her from the monitor above. "A new student has enrolled in my class. His name is Ryoma and I am in love with him."   
  
  
"You're in love with WHO?" Misato screamed.  
  
  
"His name is Ryoma, and I love him more then life itself," Rei said, showing her feelings by closing her eyes and letting a contented smile form from ear to ear.  
  
  
"Who is this Ryoma?" Misato quizzed, turning around to address the other two women in the room.  
  
  
"You really should read the interoffice memos, Misato," Ritsuko said with a grin as she rifled through some files on the desk in front of her. "Here is his dossier," she said handing said item to the Operations Director. "Quite impressive," she said a hint of desire in her voice. "Easily the best pilot we have. Sync ratio's off the chart, outstanding personality, supermodel looks and a genius on top of that."  
  
  
Misato studied the information in the folder, gazing longingly at the picture attached to the inside flap. "God, he IS incredible looking."  
  
  
"Hot enough to make me go straight," Maya said, ripping the photo out of Misato's grasp. "I want to add this picture to all the other's I have in my Ryoma shrine. Look at his gigantic pectorals," she squealed with delight.   
  
  
"Give me that!" Misato screamed, pulling on what little hair the tech had on her head. Within moments Ritsuko had joined the fray as each woman was fighting to keep the printed likeness of our superhero. And like all good superheroes, when trouble was about Ryoma always seemed to arrive in the nick of time.  
  
  
"Ladies, ladies...please don't fight," Ryoma said with a broad smile and wink. "It will mess up those beautiful complexions."  
  
  
"Ooooooo, it's Ryoma!" Maya shouted, running across the room and jumping into his arms. "Take me...take me NOW! I need you!"  
  
  
"Now, now...Miss Ibuki, they'll be plenty of time for sex later. But first I have to give my report to my commanding officer." Gently placing the hysterical woman down, Ryoma walked over and smartly saluted a surprised Major Katsuragi.  
  
  
"Five Star General Ryoma Nagare, Designated Ultimate Child, reporting for duty, ma'am."  
  
  
"At ease," Misato replied, loosening her collar a bit as she was becoming quite worked up at being so close to the muscle-bound young man.   
  
  
"I just wanted to report that this morning, in Unit 01, was able to defeat the remaining Angels, destroy the Eva Series and rescue Doctor Akagi's cat JoJo that was stuck in a tree."   
  
  
"In Unit 01?" Misato said curiously, "I thought that Shinji was the only one capable of synching with Unit 01?"  
  
  
"That's what we thought, but," Ritsuko said as she continued to walk around the handsome young pilot, occasionally rubbing his massive arms and shoulders. "Ryoma can sync with any of the Evangelions. In fact he doesn't even need an Eva at all. He is able to generate his own AT field that is much more powerful then any the Eva's can produce."  
  
  
"That's true," Ryoma nodded as he smiled at the doctor. Within moments Ritsuko was nibbling on his ear. "To finish my report," he continued, now looking at an obviously smitten Major. "After lunch I developed and built a time machine, went back and saved your father...he's at home making your mother cry, gave Rei emotions, beat the daylights out of some annoying kid named DJ, solved world hunger and hunted down and killed all the members of SEELE. Tonight I plan on polishing my fourteen gold medals, three Nobel prizes, two Oscars, one for best director, my Grammy and shoot a guess role on Dawson's Creek 2016."   
  
  
  
  
  
Ryoma: Okay...stop.  
  
  
SI Ryoma: What's the problem? Everything was perfect. Everyone was in character, I was following the canon and...  
  
  
Ryoma: I'm not complaining about any of that. Everything was believable up until the Dawson's Creek reference. Couldn't you have picked a better show then that? I don't even LIKE Dawson's Creek!"   
  
  
SI Ryoma: Sure you don't...well...Hentai Ryoma suggested Eva-X.  
  
  
Ryoma: Let's move on...I think you have one last clip. Roll it!  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why don't you sit down and join us," Hikari said, motioning to the grass beside her.  
  
  
"Thank you," Rei replied as she carefully arranged her dress before gently lowering herself onto the ground.   
  
  
"So what brings you over here?" the class rep inquired.  
  
  
"I've decided to give my life to pursuing Ryoma. He means more to me then Eva."  
  
  
"Really," Hikari replied her own thoughts now filling with desire for the handsome pilot.  
  
  
"Yup, he's even talked me into telling the Commander to...how did he say it...'shove it'," the blue haired beauty said, her voice full of emotion. "Geez...he's taught me to us words like yup and geez and now I'm using contractions. I want to have his baby."   
  
  
"Not so fast Wondergirl," Asuka said as she walked up on the trio. "Shinji's all mine and you can't do anything about it."  
  
  
"What are you stupid?" Rei replied, "you can have that little dork. I'm going after Ryoma."  
  
  
"I want Ryoma!" Hikari added, "he can tell me to sit, bow and stand anytime he wants."  
  
  
"Who is this Ryoma character?" Asuka asked to the only male present.   
  
  
"He's the new Child...he arrived yesterday," Shinji smiled. "He's the coolest guy I know. Look, he took me to get a tattoo yesterday," the boy added sticking out his arm to reveal a heart with the word MOM in it. "Tonight we're going to the strip club."  
  
  
"Here he comes!" Hikari screamed, pointing in the direction of a large mob of students that were approaching.  
  
  
"Hey Rei," Ryoma said as he broke free of the crowd. Reaching out he spun her around and kissed her deeply. "What's this?" he said, wiping a tear from her cheek.  
  
  
"I...I'm sorry, but I cry every time I see you. Please don't leave me, take me...take me right now!"   
  
  
The stunningly gorgeous muscle-bound mecha pilot watched as the ashen girl began tearing off her uniform, desperate to feel him again. "Hold on," Ryoma said, motioning for both Rei and Hikari to stop removing their clothes. "What do we have here?" he said finally noticing the fiery red head standing in front of him. "What's you name?"  
  
  
"Asuka," the German girl replied, "Asuka Langley Sohryu and I want to have sex with you."  
  
  
"Hey," Shinji cried, "what about us?"  
  
  
"Shut up, dork!" she said before turning back to the statuesque young man, his Greek God-like body glistening in the afternoon sun. "Ignore him, have sex with me."  
  
  
"No, have sex with me!" Rei screamed.  
  
  
"No, have sex with ME!" Hikari squealed.  
  
  
"Now, now girls," Ryoma said in his deep voice. "Being the world's strongest billionaire has taught me many things, and the first is there is plenty of me to go around." Turning around the World's Greatest Pilot whistled and within moments the ground began shaking as Unit 02 came running into view, stopping just inside the schoolyard and lowering it's gigantic hand to the ground. "Come on girls, we're off to my mansion in the Caribbean for sex and nachos."  
  
  
"Ryoma," Asuka whispered as he was helping the other girls onto the hand. "I don't want to do this in front of Mama."  
  
  
"It's alright," he replied, his smile causing the Second Child to be come weak in the knees, her desire for him growing by the moment. "I developed a machine this morning to pull your mother's soul out of Unit 02. I had it implanted into the body of Brittany Spears."  
  
  
"Why Brittany Spears?" Asuka questioned, but not before she had kissed him deeply, "is it so Mama will have a beautiful singing voice?"  
  
  
"No," Ryoma said as he stepped up on hand, signaling Unit 02 to raise them. With Rei under one arm, and Asuka under the other, Hikari found herself clutching one of his massive, powerful legs as she kneeled below them. "I used Brittany because I needed a body with no soul...and I always wanted to get a hold of those really big..."   
  
  
  
  
  
SI Ryoma: Good night folks, be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses and drive safely.  
  
  
Ryoma: And remember, only YOU can prevent self-insertion fics. 


	7. Victory

Nergal Fan Fiction LLC 

A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:

The Best Laid Plans

Chapter Seven "Victory" 

by Ryoma

Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment. 

"So you're really going to break up with her?"

Shinji simply nodded at his friend Touji rather than vocalize the words. Not that the other boy would have heard anyway. Making their way through the crowded halls of the school, the two dodged students walking in the opposite direction, splitting apart to allow others to pass between them, merging back together...only to be split apart again. These constant interruptions made normal conversation impossible.

"Why?" Touji said quickly before a larger boy pushed between them.

"It's a long story," Shinji replied, glancing at his friend and running into a group of girls milling about in the hall. "Sorry," he said, bowing a bit as they giggled at his formality.

"I've got time," Touji said, suddenly coming to a halt as they reached a mass of humanity struggling to exit through the small door leading to the sun drenched courtyard beyond. Leaning up on his tiptoes, he tried to look over the crowd and determine what the delay was. "This is ridiculous," he cried out, bouncing along the outskirts of the horde, hoping to find a clear path to freedom. 

"Hey, kid come here," Touji growled as he grabbed a small boy by the collar, "you're going to help me." Lifting the child off the ground, the track-suited boy thrust the screaming youngster, who appeared to be about eight, into the pack, effectively using him as a human shield. "Follow me Shinji!" 

Pressing forward, the youth now acted more like a plow then a shield. Touji pushing him forward through the mob, the boy's flailing arms and legs effectively parting the sea of humanity while his cries of protest made good impression of a siren. Within a few moments the three of them finally reached the source of the bottleneck, their goal of the courtyard within sight. With one last thrust, they sent the students who had been blocking the doorway sprawling as they fell out into the daylight and cool breeze afforded them outside the confines of the school.

"Thanks," he said, tossing the weeping boy aside, his purpose fulfilled. 

"You really shouldn't do that," Shinji said the two began walking toward the group of tables. "You might get in trouble."

"Who me?" Touji said innocently, "I didn't do nothing."

"Anything."

"What?" the track suited boy quizzed, regarding his friend with a curious look.

"Anything," Shinji sighed, "you didn't do anything."

"I know," Touji nodded, "that's what I said." 

"No," the Third Child said, shaking his head. "You said you didn't do nothing." He glanced over and noticed the blank stare on his friend. "When you say didn't do nothing," he explained, "what you are really saying is you DID something."

The taller boy reached out and grabbed Shinji's shoulder, bring both to a stop. "So you're saying I didn't do nothing in fact means I did something?" He watched as the Eva pilot nodded in the affirmative. "So it's one of those metaphors."

"Um...no."

"Don't feel bad, I made the same mistake," Touji said with a smile. "You see METAPHOR'S are a group of words while a METEOR is the rock thing from space. I can see you confused them too." 

Shinji gave his friend a bewildered stare for a moment before deciding to drop the issue. "T...thanks," he reluctantly replied silently wondering exactly what he was thanking him for.

"I'm pretty up to date on that literary stuff," Touji said as they resumed their trek, "I know all about smiles and those anal things too."

"Similes and analogies?"

"Yeah those," the lead Stooge said thoughtfully. "Though the proper pronunciation is SMILES."

"Err...sure," Shinji said apprehensively. The two continued walking along in silence, the Eva Pilot occasionally glancing over to steal glimpses of his friend. "Did you know that the word gullible isn't in any of our text books?" 

"It isn't?" Touji questioned, "was it some sort of publication mistake or was it purposely left out?"

"I really don't know," Shinji replied with a smirk.

"That's unexcusable!" Touji said loudly as they came upon an open table. He took one side while Shinji continued around to the other. "There needs to be an investigation or something. How are we ever going to learn what the word gullible means if they don't teach it to us?"

"You've got a point," Shinji said apprehensively, "you obviously don't know what it means." His lame attempt at humor an utter failure, and desperate to change the subject, the Eva Pilot decided to inquire about the absent member of their trio. "Where's Kensuke?"

---------

Kensuke Aida ran across the courtyard, fighting through the tide of students attempting to leave the school premises as quickly as possible. For the first time in his life, Kensuke actually didn't want to leave school and start his weekend. No, this time the freckled boy had other plans, and at this moment going home was the farthest thing from his mind. Finally breaking into the clear, he found himself standing on the center of the basketball court, looking up at his ultimate destination. Jabbing his hand into his pocket he pulled out a delicately folded note within. Holding it up to his nose, a broad smile formed on his face as the sweet smell of expensive, lavender perfume radiated from the letter. Gently he held the paper in front of him as he carefully opened and reread the message inside.

I THINK YOU ARE THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE CLASS. YOUR MILITARY KNOWLEDGE TURNS ME ON. I HAVE WANTED TO TELL YOU THIS FOR THE LONGEST TIME, BUT HAVE BEEN TOO SHY TO SAY ANYTHING. BUT MY DESIRE FOR YOU MUST BE FULLIFILLED BEFORE I BURST. I WANT YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. MEET ME AT THE POOL AFTER SCHOOL. I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE SCREWING OF A LIFETIME. NOW I KNOW YOU ARE FAR MORE EXPERIENCED THAN ME ABOUT THESE THINGS AND I'M SURE YOU HAVE DONE THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE, BUT FOR ME THIS WILL BE MY FIRST TIME. I AM AFRAID I WILL BACK OUT AT THE LAST MINUTE, SO I ONLY ASK THAT YOU BE IN THE POOL AND READY TO GO AS SOON AS I GET THERE. I PROMISE IT WILL BE THE MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE. 

SIGNED

YOUR SECRET ADMIRER

PS REMEMBER TO BE IN THE POOL READY TO GO OR I WILL BE TOO NERVOUS AND RUN AWAY.

Though the kanji was incorrect in places and difficult to read, he could tell by the strokes and forms that it was definitely made by a girl. And the powerful aroma more than convinced the boy that this was indeed made by a female member of the species. His hand was shaking quite hard as he carefully refolded the letter and put it back in his pocket for safekeeping. Come tomorrow, with that piece of paper he would have the physical evidence required to validate the upcoming event to his fellow Stooges. His heart threatening to jump out of his chest he resumed his journey, tackling the stairs leading up to the pool two at a time, prepared to face his destiny...

---------

"Hey," Touji said, looking a bit troubled, especially for a Friday afternoon. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."

"Sure," Shinji replied.

"I'm really sorry about yesterday...trying to kill you and all," Touji said softly, looking down at the table in dismay. "I was wrong."

"It's alright," the Third said with a smile. "I knew you didn't want to really kill me."

"But I did," Touji protested, gazing up at his friend. "It was like I was possessed or something. I actually wanted to wring your neck."

"Y...you did?" the Eva pilot stammered, his smile going south. 

"Yes, but Hikari and I talked on the way home last night and now I realize I was going to kill you for all the wrong reasons."

"Thanks," Shinji replied. "I think."

"Don't worry," the jock chuckled as he observed an obviously shaken Shinji. "I mean if I ever DID try to kill you, I'm sure your father would sick Unit 01 on me."

"I doubt that," the Third Child frowned. "I'm the only one who can pilot it and I know I sure wouldn't try to hurt you, especially after what I did to Kimiko." 

"Yeah...what you did to her," Touji said nervously, rubbing his eyes in an effort to avoid seeing his friend's pained expression. "But I'm sure your father could devise some system to force you."

"If he ever did I would quit NERV the next day!" 

Touji remembered something from his Word a Day calendar. "My, aren't you a pendant youth." 

"I think the word is petulant," Shinji sighed after his fourth correction of the day, about four thousandth since moving to Tokyo-3. Each time it made more and more sense that Asuka gave him that calendar in the first place. "Can we change the subject, I'd rather not discuss the various ways Unit 01 could hurt my friends."

"Good idea," Touji exclaimed, "let's talk about something else." He stared up at the sky and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Let me see, what to talk about...what to talk about?" After a few moments of repeating this phrase, he suddenly stopped and slammed his hands down on the table. "I've got it! How about you and Hikari? Are you really going to break up?"

__

'Subtle', Shinji mused to himself, struggling to hide his amusement at the fellow Stooge's predictability. All that was left was to make it convincing, a task made much easier, given his friend's eagerness and intellect. 

"Yes," he said softly, pausing for a moment of perceived remorse. "Hikari is a WONDERFUL girl, and I like her a lot...but just not as a girlfriend."

"That's too bad," Touji said with as much compassion as someone positively gushing could muster, "but you know these things never last." No matter how hard he tried to hide it, his smile was apparent not only to Shinji, but anyone within thirty feet. "Have you told her yet?"

"No," the Third Child replied. "I was going to tell her this morning but I was late and didn't really get the chance."

"Why were you late?"

"Asuka," he sighed, "she had me up half the night." 

"You stud," Touji exclaimed, raising his hand and awaiting the other half of the high-five.

Shinji gazed over at the grinning boy, his arm hoisted in anticipation of consummating the male bonding. "Um...it's nothing like that," he said softly watching as his friend's expression began to fade. "In fact the complete opposite. She spent the better part of the night alternating between ignoring and yelling at me. On top of that, Misato locked us out of the apartment so I had nowhere to go."

"That's nice," Touji said proving his attention span was not capable of following Shinji's explanation. Or more precisely, his mind was too focused on someone else. "So..." he said, anxious to get back on his subject, "when are you going to tell her? Can I watch?"

Shinji gave his friend a puzzled look. "You want to watch?"

"Sure," he replied with a smile. Noticing that the Eva Pilot still had the same questioning expression, he elaborated further. "I mean I want to be there in case Hikar...I mean you...in case YOU need support."

"Sure," Shinji said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "What about Kensuke? I'm sure he could offer some support."

"No," Touji said quickly, his tone almost panicked. "Not him...I don't need his wise-ass remarks."

"You don't?" 

"I mean YOU," the larger boy snapped, "YOU don't need his remarks. Why would he make remarks to ME? It's not like I'm going to be saying anything to Hikari. Unless she breaks down and stuff, in which case I probably SHOULD console her...if that's okay with you. I'm not thinking of moving in on your girlfriend...but if she talks to me, then it's not my fault, right? Not that I really want to talk to her or anything but..."

"Stop," Shinji said effectively interrupting his friend's rambling. "Just stop. You are more then welcome to talk to her, I don't mind. You even have my complete approval to start dating her..." He watched as the track-suited boy let out a deep sigh of relief. "But can I at least break up with her first?"

"Oh yeah," Touji said, a slight blush forming on his face as he ran his fingers through his hair and scratched at the back of his head, "that probably should come first." He stared off in the distance, gazing around trying to find something remotely interesting. Failing at that Touji put his head down on the table, feigning sleep as he attempted to act as nonchalant as possible. Finally he could bear the anticipation no more. "Let's go find her!" he said excitedly as he jumped up from the table.

"Touji," Shinji replied as the boy began tugging on his arm in an effort to lift him out of his seat. "Why don't you sit down...I have a feeling Hikari will find us."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," the Third nodded as he motioned for the boy to sit back down. Slowly he returned to his seat, but not before scanning the immediate area. 

Shinji smiled as he watched Touji fidget nervously. He alternated between straightening his clothing, checking his fly, breathing into his hand to ensure freshness and using his fingers as a comb. 

"Hey Touji," he said in an effort to get the boy's mind off the impending meeting before he passed out. "What do you think Kensuke is doing?"

---------

The water was cold. 

Even though the thermometer dangling loosely from the stainless steel ladder claimed a temperature of twenty-four degrees Celsius, it had to be wrong. Kensuke sighed as he dropped the measuring device back into the depths. What other explanation could there be for his shaking arms, racing heartbeat, and goose bumps? His trembling hand barely able to grasp the frames, he removed his glasses and placed them upon his folded uniform next to the pool. His arms supporting him, the boy hung tight to the edge of the pool as his legs kicked every so often, just to experience the freedom they were afforded. His nudity only broken by a jungle camouflage pair of Fruit of the Loom size thirty-one briefs, he felt a strange mixture of both arousal and fear as he heard the gate at the bottom of the walkway stairs open and close. 

"Are you there...lover?" he heard an unfamiliar voice call out. Squinting hard, he was only able to make out the girl's silhouette as she approached the final gate leading into the pool. Silently he cursed the fact that laser eye surgery had been banned in the year 2004 because of intense political pressure from LensCrafters and the Consortium of Glass Producing Nations. Their strong armed tactics had lead to the passage of the National Eyesight Restoration Declaration, also known as the NERD initiative, because of which, he was forever condemned to a life of aided vision or none at all. 

On the positive side, at least he was sure it was a girl, her long hair playing lightly in the breeze as she stopped just inside the fenced in area. "Are you...alone?" she said softly, her voice sounding vaguely familiar but still not one that he could immediately recognize.

"Y...yes...I...a...am," Kensuke stuttered, the excitement of the situation getting the better of him.

"But you didn't follow my instructions," the girl pouted, placing her hands on her hips, "you're supposed to be naked."

"I...I'm pretty close," the boy protested, lifting himself up a bit higher out of the water as he continued to try and get a better look at the female. "It's just my underwear."

"You have to be naked before I'll come in," she said as she started to slowly walk around the perimeter of the pool, still maintaining a considerable distance between them. "I'm too shy."

"Nothing to be shy about," Kensuke said, trying to sound as manly as he possibly could, and failing miserably as his voice cracked. "Just jump right in." 

The girl hesitated for a moment, then swiftly turned and began walking away. "If you don't want to do this my way, then you can just forget it." 

"NO WAIT!" he shouted, absently holding his hands out to protest her departure and slipping under the water. Quickly resurfacing he wiped the liquid from his eyes. "Don't go...I'll take them off...it's just that I want to make sure you are serious."

"I'm serious," the girl replied turning to face him again, not that he could tell as his poor vision, the combination of chorine from the pool water, and the fact the girl had chosen to stand directly in line with the sun had effectively blinded him. "Too prove it, I'll start stripping myself."

Narrowing his eyes as much as possible, Kensuke was able to just make out the image of the shadowy figure beginning to unbutton her uniform. Even with his terrible eyesight and vantage point, he could make out the fact that the girl was quite petite, long legs which didn't look like they could support her and either reddish or light brown hair. Best of all were the large breasts that seemed to block the sun each time she turned just the right direction. His heart threatening to burst free from his chest, he reached down and kicked off his last shred of modesty. "Here you go," he said loudly as threw the dripping cloth up next to her. "Naked as the day I was born." 

He watched as the girl carefully picked them up, pinching them between her thumb and index finger as she held them out at a full arm's length. _'She'll probably want to keep them to show her friends,_' the boy thought as he observed her walk around the pool toward the ladder. His nakedness fueling his ego, Kensuke contemplated doing the backstroke to further entice his prey, but thought better of the idea as he remembered a similar stunt last summer and the laughter that the cold water shrinkage had incurred. Rather then repeat the incident from the Hello Kitty 13 and Under Summer Fan Camp, he chose instead to doggy paddle after the girl and as she continued walking around the pool. 

Placing the underwear on top of his uniform, she gathered up the entire bundle, clutching them tightly to her chest. "Why hug the clothes when you can just jump in and have the man," Kensuke said trying his best to be smug, but failing miserably as he gazed up at the girl from the base of the ladder. The thought of those luscious breasts pressed against his skin convinced him that shrinkage would not be a problem this time.

"In your dreams," the girl snapped.

Kensuke's mouth fell open as he immediately recognized her voice. Reaching up he grabbed his glasses, which she had so kindly left behind. "It's you!" 

"Yes, it's me," Asuka said, a triumphant smile on her face as she buttoned her uniform. "And YOU are a pervert." 

Kensuke finished adjusting his glasses and reached up to start climbing the ladder, determined to retrieve his clothes. "Not so fast," she said with a smile, "unless you want pictures of your little sausage posted all over the school." Glancing down he noticed the small minicamera, complete with NERV logo in her hand. "Now you get the idea," she said as she watched him sulk back down beneath the waves. "Of course without a zoom I doubt much would show up." 

"Very funny...bitch," Kensuke grumbled, gritting his teeth as he watched the girl start to walk away, carrying his entire outfit with her. 

"Now don't get all excited," she quipped as she opened the chain link door leading to the stairs. "You might poke somebody's eye out with that thing." 

"I'll get you for this," he screamed, defiantly shaking his fist in the air at her.

"You've got the motion," she said with a smile, "and I know about your jerk-off fantasies of me. Do it again like usual...I'll even stand here and watch. I've got thirty seconds to kill." 

"Just leave me alone," Kensuke said dejectedly, quickly pulling his hand under the water. "I can't believe you lied to me."

"Lied?" Asuka frowned, curious at his choice of words. "How did I lie to you?"

"You said if I came to the pool and followed your instructions...which I did...I would get screwed."

A broad smile appeared on her face as she addressed him. "Kensuke, you may call me many things...and in fact you have, but never...I repeat NEVER, let it be said that Asuka Langley Sohryu is a liar. I promised you would be screwed and dammit all I'm going to keep my end of the bargain." That said she turned and addressed the figure walking up the stairs. "Good afternoon Rei." 

"Good afternoon, Pilot Soh...Asuka."

Kensuke felt his anger dissipate in a moment as he watched the blue haired beauty walk past the redhead and into the pool area. The towel slung over her shoulders perfectly framed her breasts as she made her way around to the diving board. Kensuke swallowed hard as she carefully placed her towel on one of the deck chairs. He couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked in her one-piece swimsuit, her red eyes and pale skin contrasting perfectly with the black fabric… the fabric that left just enough to his suddenly fevered imagination.

"Wondergirl," Asuka called out as she watched the girl prepare to dive. "I'll leave you two alone...play nice." The First Child didn't respond but rather gave her fellow pilot a curious stare as the Second turned and prepared to walk away. Stopping short and not bothering to turn around, she called out in a much less jovial tone, "and I need to talk to you tonight after the sync tests."

"I understand," Rei said, even though Asuka had already disappeared from view.

Kensuke gazed up as he watched the First fly effortless through the air, parting the water without so much as a ripple forming from the entry. Surfacing next to the shaking boy, she turned and regarded him with a curious stare. "Are you ready?"

"Y...y...yes," Kensuke stammered, words failing to come easily as the chain of command in the rational part of his brain was being hijacked by a far more primal instinct. Easing a bit closer to girl he stared deeply into her crimson eyes. "I...I'm...r...ready." 

"Good," Rei replied, readily giving up the distance between them as Kensuke approached. "I trust you are in good enough shape?"

"S...sure," he said, surprised he was still conscious at being this close to a semi naked girl while nude himself. "I can do it."

"You will be the first."

"T...the...f...f...first?" Kensuke said nervously as he pondered his own virginity. "I...isn't this a bit, sudden?"

"It is time to begin," Rei said flatly as stared into his eyes. Or more precisely stared past them. "They are here."

"They?" the boy said curiously as he finally noticed the girl watching something behind him. Slowly he turned to find out, deep down already knowing what was happening as he heard the chatter of the other members of the swim team approach. 

In another place and time, the sight of ten scantily clad girls would have been a wet dream come true, unfortunately in this place and time they were an all-too-real nightmare.

"We have always desired an experienced training partner," Rei said as she edged by him and climbed the ladder out of the pool. "And according to Sohryu," she said grabbing her towel and drying herself off, "you are quite adept because you practice your stroke each night." The other girls made their way over and as a group they began stretching and chatting amongst themselves in preparation for the day's training. 

Kensuke realized that, for the moment at least, he had not been observed by any of the other members of the team. Keeping his head as low as possible in the water, he silently worked his way around the edge of the pool, all the while reviewing possible escape routes. Spying a discarded towel lying within arm's reach, he let out a little sight of relief and prepared to grab it. Springing out of the water, he made a desperate lunge for the cloth only to realize that like many men, he had greatly exaggerated the length of an appendage on his body. Now halfway out of the water, the naked boy groped desperately, stretching his arms as far as they would go, his fingers tickling the soft white cloth but not enough to grasp it.

"Hey, what are you doing?" one of the girls called out, finally noticing the commotion at the far end of the pool. Observing his swimming attire, or lack thereof, she quickly screamed, only to be joined by a chorus of screaming as the rest of the girl's swim team was clearly not as comfortable with the concept of nudity as the Eva Pilot. Sliding back into the water, the boy dove to the bottom of the pool and sat there contemplating as to exactly how he ended up in this position. 

__

'Asuka's right,' he thought to himself, dreading the fact he would eventually have to surface for air. _'I'm screwed.'_

---------

"Hey Asuka," Hikari called, raising her hand and waving it to ensure she was noticed. The redhead had finished dropping some items into a garbage can as her friend came up next to her. "Where have you been?"

"Let's just say that I had a little problem to take care of," she replied with a smirk that proved there was much more to that comment then she let on. "A very little problem."

"I don't want to know." Hikari had been friends with the German girl long enough to know what that look meant, but she also knew enough not to ask. Whenever she acted like this, it wasn't long until the truth came out anyway…usually in the form of some type of destruction, be it physical or mental, followed by lots of crying or swearing. Such was the nature of the Second Child. "Come on," she said, taking a few steps toward the courtyard as the Eva Pilot fell in next to her. "We were supposed to meet Shinji ten minutes ago."

"What's the hurry?" Asuka said as the two walked at a brisk pace across the empty basketball court. 

"Nothing," the class rep replied.

"Really?" the Second Child said curiously as she glanced over to the girl. "What's the matter?"

"I told you, nothing."

Asuka reached out and grabbed her friend by the shoulder, pulling her to a stop. "Are you okay?"

"Actually, I'm doing great...wonderful in fact," Hikari said quickly as she tried to start moving again though Asuka held her firm. "I don't want him to leave before I get there."

A slight frown inadvertently formed on the redhead's face as she lamented the fact that the unsuspecting girl was about to be cast aside like last night's leftovers. "Shinji's not going anywhere," she said, knowing full well that he was going to be at the table, as per the plan discussed that morning. 

"I just wanted to make sure, that's all," the pig tailed girl replied, "today is a very important day."

"Can I ask you a question?" Asuka said, even as the first pangs of guilt began to eat at her. Watching her friend's cheerful expression she began to worry how her friend would take the impending breakup. Would she simply cry? Would she slap his face and get angry? Would she do both? Asuka knew what she would do, but her friend was a completely different story. She figured Hikari would most likely break down and require near constant support to overcome the crisis. Which begged an even bigger question...was toying with people's emotions such a good idea in the first place? Not only did it get her in trouble with Misato, now her best friend was going to be an emotional wreck for weeks, and on top of all that, she still had to set up a date between Rei and Shinji. All this because she wanted to prove a point to Misato...that was the real reason this whole saga began...right?

"What do you see in him anyway?" Asuka said, attempting to break down her friend's image of the Third Child to soften the blow. "Shinji is nothing but a miserable little boy. I can't see why you should make such a big deal about it."

"You really don't know him," Hikari said sharply, "do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

The class rep shook her head slightly back and forth. "It pretty obvious to me...if you understood Shinji in the slightest, you wouldn't say half the bad things you do about him."

"I live with the idiot," the Second protested loudly, "don't tell me I don't know anything about him. I can tell you for a fact he's annoying, spineless, immature, weak...

"Caring, compassionate, loyal, handsome..." Hikari said as she interrupted her friend, "and most of all he is a good person that I am proud to call my friend."

"Even if he's about dump you?" Asuka smirked, determined to stem the tide of compliments.

The redhead stopped short as her friend reached out and grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around to face her. "Who told you that!"

"Nobody," the Eva Pilot said defensively, "I was just saying that IF he dumped you...your attitude toward him would change, that's all." 

"It might," Hikari said, still eyeing her friend curiously over her previous statement. "Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes people do rotten things for the right reasons." She paused a moment, searching her friend's face for some sign of hidden knowledge. "Are you SURE Shinji didn't say anything to you?"

"He didn't mention anything to me," Asuka said innocently, waving her hands in protest of the accusation. 

"Fine," Hikari sighed, knowing the girl wouldn't crack. "Let's get going." 

"Sure," Asuka replied as the two resumed their trek. Walking along, the Second Child couldn't ignore the fact her conscience was in overdrive, riddling her ego with constant reminders of the pain she was putting everyone through. "Hey, Hikari?" she said to break an uneasy silence that had fallen over them. "How about tomorrow night we go to that festival downtown?" 

"Um...I can't."

"Why not?" the Second asked, then realized the girl must be thinking that Shinji was going to take her. An event destined not to happen once they finally reached her roommate. "Forget about Shinji," Asuka said, anxious to quell her rising inner voice, "you can do something without him for once." 

'_And it will give you a chance to get used to it after he dumps you,'_ the German girl thought to herself, proving her sardonic wit was insurmountable.

"Oh, I'm not going with Shin..." Hikari said quickly, her expression fading as she realized she had said something wrong. "What I mean to say is that I don't want to go."

Asuka gave her friend a questioning gaze, but simply shrugged off the unusual exchange as they rounded the corner of the school and spied Shinji and his fellow Stooge sitting at the predetermined meeting ground. 

--------- 

"Here she comes," Touji said excitedly as he caught sight of Hikari and Asuka approaching. Like a puppy watching his master's arrival, the boy began twitching and gyrating enthusiastically in his seat. 

"Calm down," Shinji sighed as he watched his friend's animated behavior. "This is a very delicate situation that needs to be handled with care and tact."

"Care and tact, got it!" he replied with a nod. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just sit there and don't say a word," the Third said, looking quite serious in the process. "Let me do the talking."

"Don't say a word, I can do that," Touji said, running his finger across his mouth to simulate a zipper. "If there's one thing I know, it's when to shut up. In fact, one time my father had worked late and told me to keep it down so he could sleep. I did just like he said. I didn't say a word even though the toilet started overflowing and my sister had snuck a boy into her room. But did I make a peep? No way. In fact Dad was able to sleep all the way until the firemen broke in the door." 

"What were firemen doing there?" Shinji quizzed.

"Do you know you can't put metal in a microwave?" the lead Stooge said awaiting an affirmative nod from the Eva Pilot before continuing. "Well, apparently the same is true for Tupperware and a convection oven."

"So you called them to put out the fire?"

"Actually it wasn't me," Touji said shaking his head, "the police called the fire department."

"The police!" Shinji cried out.

"Yeah," his friend said with a smile, "they got there shortly after the first shots were fired."

"Shots?"

"Kimiko doesn't take rejection well," Touji said nonchalantly, as if his sister's temper was common knowledge. "But the key thing is that I never said a word the whole time. You can count on me to shut up. I'll be so quiet you'll never even know I'm here. You'll think I'm dead, except the fact I will breathe every couple of minutes, but other than that…" 

"You could start NOW!" Shinji said as he glanced up and saw that the girls were standing over them.

"Hello Shinji," Asuka said giving the boy a slight grin. "What the hell is THIS dork doing here?" she said after turning and pointing toward the other boy at the table.

"I could ask the same of you," Touji replied defiantly.

"Can we sit down? Hikari said, already slipping into one of the open seats.

"Sure," Shinji said as he watched Asuka take the final unoccupied spot. 

"What were you talking about?" the class rep said, looking at the track suited boy.

"Nothing really important," Touji said, smiling back at her. Something in his earlier story was sticking with him, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy about Shinji's task at hand. "You don't own a gun…do you?"

"Guns?" Hikari frowned as if the word had left a sour taste in her mouth. "I hate them! They are so dangerous. I would never use one." She could hear the sigh of relief that the jock let out at hearing those words. 

"Knives are much better. You can see your victim. In fact…" she said, pausing as she slipped her hand up the skirt of her uniform she whipped out a shiny silver object. Handling the butterfly knife with the expertise that could only be honed after years of practice, she rolled it about in her hand, the stainless steel blade periodically reflecting the rays of the sun as she flipped it about faster than human eyes could follow. With a final thrust she jammed the cutting instrument into the table, mere inches from Touji's hand. "I have that one in case someone doesn't rise, bow, or sit down when I tell them to," she said, her tone whimsical, but with just enough seriousness to prove she might use it. 

"Shinji…you're on you own," Touji said softly as his eyes followed the pendulum like motion of the knife handle as it rocked slowly in front of him.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Hikari smiled as she turned toward the Third Child, his eyes also transfixed by the shining killing instrument imbedded in front of his friend.

"Y…yes," Shinji replied, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the images his girlfriend's surprising display had left. "Yes, I have something to I need to talk to you about."

"Sure," she said, reaching out and extracting her knife from the table and repeating the elaborate spinning and flipping motions as she returned the object to its original concealed location. "What's up?"

The Eva Pilot leaned in towards the girl, attempting to provide them the most privacy possible given the fact that Asuka and Touji were hanging on his every word. Inching still closer, Shinji glanced to his left and right and noticed that the closer he got to Hikari, the closer the other two got to him. "I just wanted to tell you that," he whispered, the redhead and the jock now almost on top of him. "I just wanted to tell you that…" he said softly, "A LITTLE PRIVACY WOULD BE NICE!" 

His unexpected outburst sent the two unwanted observers scattering. Asuka leaned back and tried to act indifferent to the whole situation, while Touji, who had fallen off his seat, was busy using his finger to probe the depths of his ear canal in an effort to ascertain the extent of his hearing loss. 

Shinji cleared his throat and carefully held Hikari's hand within his own. "H…Hikari," he stammered, obviously struggling to formulate the words he wanted to say. "T…There comes a time in every relationship when tough choices have to be made…and we have reached that point." 

"What are you saying?"

"You're such a jerk," Touji said, jumping up and putting a comforting arm around Hikari. "I can't believe how you dragged his poor girl's emotions through the mud, tossing her aside like…"

"I didn't break up with her yet," Shinji said through his clenched teeth, pretending to smile as he tried to stop his friend's premature proclamation.

"Oh," Touji smiled and reluctantly pulled his arm off the very confused young woman's shoulder. "Never mind."

"Now, where was I?" the Unit 01 pilot sighed before remembering where he left off. "Oh yeah…Hikari, I think that it would be best if we…"

"You jerk!"

"SHUT UP!" Shinji and Asuka screamed in perfect synchronization at the Stooge.

"Sorry," Touji mumbled as he sat back down in his chair.

"Shinji," Hikari said staring into his deep blue eyes, "just come out and say it."

"Hikari," the Third Child said, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I think it would be best if we didn't go out anymore."

Asuka, Shinji and even Hikari glanced over at Touji awaiting his response. However he was far too engrossed watching a pair of dogs mating in the distance to hear his cue. 

"Touji?" Shinji called out softly, raising his voice just a bit as he called again. "Touji?"

Asuka groaned as she noticed the hypnotic effect the amorous dogs had on the Stooge. "IDIOT!" she shouted, "looking for pointers… or are you hoping if you bring them a bone they'll let you join in?"

"Huh?" Touji said, tearing himself away from the canine spectacle and realizing that everyone was looking at him. "What happened?"

"Shinji broke up with me," Hikari said calmly.

"That jerk!" Touji said loudly, "I can't believe that…"

"We know," the class rep interrupted, ducking her head under Touji's arm and forcing him to hold her. "Just comfort me in my hour of need," she wailed. 

"What should I do?" Touji said baffled at what to do next. The entire 'weeping girl on the chest' experience was new to him. "I could punch him in the face again."

"No," Hikari said quickly, looking up at him. "Let's sit and talk."

"O...okay," he replied, cautiously patting her shoulder as she wormed her head in tightly against him. 

"Thanks for being here for me," she said.

"Um...Hikari," he whispered, "I was wondering if...well...you wanted to go with me to the street festival tomorrow?"

"Why Touji," she said excitedly, "I just broke up about a minute ago and you are already asking me out on a date?"

"I...I...I...I'm sorry," Touji stammered, "I thought that you might...I didn't think that..."

"I'd love to," Hikari smiled, squeezing the jock's arm tightly. "I was afraid no one would ask me to go."

"Hey," Asuka protested, her words falling on deaf ears. Glancing over she noticed her roommate motioning for her to follow him as he slowly backed away. 

"Let's leave them alone," Shinji said, motioning to the young couple now in a tight embrace behind them.

"I have no idea what she sees in that moron. Another minute and I would have punched HIM in the face," the redhead grumbled as the two began walking toward the entrance to the schoolyard. "And what exactly just happened? Either you and Hikari are the two most emotionless people in the world...and that IS a possibility. Or that was the worst staged break up in recorded history."

"Was it that obvious?" 

"That's the worst acting job I've seen since Misato made us watch that old movie, Glitter."

"That was some awful punishment," Shinji replied with a frown, "talk about 'cruel and unusual.' I'll never get her that mad again." 

"I think Geneva Convention specially lists viewing that as torture," Asuka said matter-of-factly. The pair enjoyed a joint chuckle before she continued. "That would have been funny if it wasn't so pathetic," the Second smiled, "but luckily for you, that Stooge is so dumb he could get lost in an elevator. Now I can see why you wanted me to keep the little pervert Stooge occupied. He would have blown the whistle on that debacle in a second."

"You're right," Shinji said, nodding knowingly. "Did you tell him to meet me at the arcade like we talked about this morning?" A feral grin formed on Asuka's face, making the boy feel uncomfortable as her realized she had decided on a difference plan – one that was without a doubt far more drastic and degrading than the one previously agreed upon.

"Let's just say that your friend got to live out one of his greatest fantasies."

"I don't want to know," Shinji said, shaking his head. Evidently Asuka got that response a lot when she was scheming. "But thanks for helping me."

"I told you," she said, "I was helping Hikari. I wasn't doing it for you."

"Well, thanks anyway," he replied, digging his hands deep into his pockets and hanging his head.

The Eva pilots continued down the concrete walkway, neither saying a word until they reached the gate that dictated the bounds of the school, beyond which the hustle and bustle of a typical Friday afternoon in Toyko-3 awaited them. Stopping just inside the ingress, it seemed to be Asuka's turn to mope, as she was more interested in staring at her shoes than continuing on their journey.

"About Ayanami," she said softly as if hoping he wouldn't hear. "Do you still want me to...well you know."

Shinji turned and regarded the brooding Second Child. "You did make a promise," he replied with a frown. "But since you helped me with Kensuke and you didn't let on that you knew we were faking just now, I'll understand if you are afraid to talk to her." 

"Afraid?" Asuka cried out, "I'm not afraid to talk to her."

"You aren't acting like it," Shinji said coolly. "If this is going to be too hard, I'll get someone else."

The redhead balled her hands into fists, her arms shaking violently as she spoke. "FINE...I'll set up a date with your precious doll. Never let it be said that Asuka Langley Sohryu doesn't keep her word!"

"Great," the Third Child smiled broadly. "Some time tomorrow afternoon would be perfect."

Asuka raised her hand, finger pointed squarely at the boy, and was about to enter into a long monologue about why he and Rei shouldn't go on the date, when she found herself focusing on something else. It first appeared in the distance, catching her eye only because the sun seemed to almost reflect off its whiteness. Noticing that Asuka was not focused on him anymore, Shinji turned to also view the approaching object. 

At first glance it appeared to be nothing more then a bright white streak, almost like lightning, darting back and forth using whatever cover was available. Finally reaching the last tree in the courtyard, and thus the last opportunity for concealment, it made a desperate dash to freedom. Now out in the open, it became clear to both that the phenomenon was neither Angelic nor supernatural. But rather a boy, about their age, trying his best to outrun an unseen foe. The only thing that set this particular boy apart from any other was the fact that he was not wearing any clothes. 

"ASUKA!" Shinji cried out as he finally recognized the nearing image of his friend Kensuke. "What did you do?"

At that moment the members of the girls swim team, adorned in nothing but their swimsuits, rounded the corner of the building. Quickly catching sight of their prey, the posse took off in a mad dash after him. Kensuke looked back over his shoulder and immediately knew he had been spotted. Pumping his arms furiously as he ran, he looked the part of an Olympic sprinter on pace to win the gold as he drew near the pilots.

"Hide your shame!" Asuka called out as she couldn't help but notice the flopping appendage on the boy. 

"And run faster!" Shinji yelled as the other boy hastened past them without so much as a greeting. "They're gaining on you!" 

Turning right, the nude Kensuke continued running down the sidewalk, eliciting hysterical screams and catcalls as he fought through the crowd. Within seconds of his flashing by, the horde of upset young women ran past Shinji and Asuka, their bare feet slapping on the concrete as they continued the pursuit. As they passed, the teens could distinctly hear about the consequences if they caught their quarry, most of which involved removing and hanging his testicles on the flagpole. After a few moments the excitement was over, a steadily retreating chorus of honking horns, screams and car crashes the only evidence that the chase was still on.

Shinji looked over at Asuka, who was doing her best not to double over in laughter as she noticed the shocked appearance on her roommate. "What?" she said angrily. "I suppose you think I had something to do with that!"

---------

"Asuka, these test scores are an abomination!"

Ritsuko paced back and forth in front of the girl in question, trying to think up other putdowns to accurately describe the Unit 02 pilot's slipping sync ratio. "For the past month your test scores have been varying widely, and I have given you the benefit of the doubt. Believe it or not I was fifteen once and I know how difficult that time in life can be." The blond scientist gave the girl a slight nod and smile before bringing her clipboard up and reviewing the day's data contained on them. "But for the past week your scores have steadily fallen…and now we reach this," she said crossly, flipping the clipboard down so the girl could see the charts and graphs for herself. "Just look at these!"

Asuka slowly lifted her head and gazed at the brightly colored lines and numbers, immediately noticing the preponderance of one color and downward sloping trends on each of them. Not that she knew exactly what each criterion meant, and not that she really cared either…but the point was clear. Her lips turned up ever so slightly as she thought about the irony of despising the color red for the first time in her life. Her failure sufficiently documented and on display for all to see, she turned away and caught sight of the third occupant in the changing room, the First Child. She had finished buttoning up her blue school uniform and was preparing to put on her shoes as she sat a few feet from them. Normally Asuka would have lashed out at the Doctor's comments, especially being dressed down in front of Rei, but for some reason lately, she found herself having less and less will to fight.

This fact was not lost on the good Doctor Akagi, as she immediately noticed some of the fire had left the Second Child. "I don't know what the problem is…but you need to get it squared away and soon. Just because the Angels haven't appeared in a year does not mean they won't return. The Commander has been very forgiving of your problems, in fact I'm surprised he has let it go this far. But rest assured, this is not a game, pilot, and if you don't start improving I may have to look for a replacement." 

"I understand," Asuka said softly.

Ritsuko's mouth dropped as she watched the redhead droop her head and frown. Something was obviously troubling the Unit 02 pilot. Normally the mere mention of replacing her would have sent Asuka screaming at the top of her lungs, always with the potential for physical violence. But here she was almost accepting the fact that she might lose the one thing most precious in life to her. Given the girl's current state, further discussions would have proven meaningless, the Doctor mused. She would have to work the problem out for herself. "Tomorrow is Saturday, why don't you take the weekend off from Eva and just relax."

"I'll be fine," Asuka replied.

"It's an order," Ritsuko said with a smile. "In fact," she added turning toward Rei, "that goes for you and Shinji too. I want all three of you to take the weekend off."

The blue haired girl didn't reply but rather turned and nodded before resuming her previous task of arranging her uniform.

The Doctor regarded both girls for a moment, before turning and walking toward the door. "I guess I better let Major Katsuragi know she has the weekend off too…God help us all," she said as the door slowly closed behind her.

Asuka watched as small drops of LCL randomly fell from the bottom of her plugsuit, landing on the Type D suit carelessly lying at the bottom of her locker. Grasping the door she prepared to slam it closed when she caught sight of a tattered picture hanging there. She had seen it a hundred times before, but for some strange reason she found it captivating. The image was of her as a young child, large red ribbon holding up her hair and holding a large stuffed toy, with her mother and father standing behind her. She remembered it was one of the only pictures she still had of her real mother. It was as if it was the first time she was looking at the picture as she carefully studied each and every nuance and expression of the three. Although the exact circumstance and date of the photo were long since forgotten, she did remember that it was before any of them had ever heard of NERV, much less an Evangelion. Taking careful note she realized for the first time how happy the three of them looked. 

"She is quite…beautiful," Rei said, startling the redhead as the blue-haired girl peered over her shoulder. 

"Was," Asuka said softly, throwing the locker door shut. "That's ancient history now."

"I am…sorry," the First replied, uncomfortable with how to express her feelings toward the loss of a loved one.

"I don't need your pity," Asuka said sharply as she turned and glared at her fellow pilot. 

"You looked quite pleased," Rei said flatly as she returned the stare.

"What?" the Second Child snapped.

"You appeared to be enjoying yourself in the picture."

"So what if I did," Asuka said, breaking the gaze and turning away. "I can be happy every once in a while."

"Can you?" Rei quizzed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the redhead exclaimed as she turned to face her nemesis. "Make your point."

"Are you happy?" the red eyed girl said calmly.

"What are you, stupid?" Asuka chuckled, "of course I am. I'm an Eva pilot."

Rei stared at her for a moment, viewing the forced smile on the other girl's face. "Is that only thing that gives you enjoyment in life?" 

"No. I don't need Eva," the Second Child exclaimed, raising her hand up and pointing at the blue haired girl standing beside her. "I don't need anyone or anything to make me happy. I can do it all by myself."

"Is that true?" the First Child said, her eyes sliding down to gaze at the floor below.

"Yes," the Second said as she nodded her head slightly for emphasis. Deeming that for once she was finally winning one of these pointless arguments with the strange girl, she grinned broadly.

Rei slowly raised her gaze until she was staring directly into the gloating visage of the Unit 02 Pilot. "Then why are you waiting for someone to bring you happiness?"

"Shut up!"

"Why are you are trying to find yourself within others?" Rei added.

"Shut up, shut up!" Asuka screamed. She turned and started to walk away, only to spin around and march back to roughly her original position. "I don't want to be told that by an emotionless windup doll like you!"

"I am not a doll," Rei said, her mouth turning down ever so slightly. "And I would appreciate you not calling me that again." Pausing for a moment she continued. "Unlike you, I am not afraid of happiness. I just have not discovered it...yet."

Asuka watched as the First's mouth seemed to form a grin, a sight that she never thought she would ever see in her entire life. "Why are you still here?"

"Because you told me you had something to talk about," Rei said, her appearance never changing as she seemed to be almost enjoying the exchange. "Are we finished?"

"No," the Second Child said dejectedly. She paced back and forth in front the lockers, contemplating whether or not to keep her word. With a sigh she walked up to her teammate. "Follow me."

Rei fell in step behind Asuka as she walked out the door and headed down the dimly lit hallway. "What do you think of Shinji?"

"Ikari is an excellent pilot," the pale skinned girl said quickly.

"Not that," Asuka groaned, "what do you think of him on a personal level. Do you like him?"

Rei thought about the question for more then a few heartbeats before answering. "I…like Ikar…Shinji very much."

Approaching the elevator, the German girl reached out and pressed the up button. "Exactly how much?" she inquired, a slight frown now present on her face. 

"I do not know how to quantify it," Rei replied, a bit surprised at the nature of the question. "I enjoy the time we spend together. How would you categorize it?"

"Never mind," Asuka said realizing she didn't want to pursue this line of questioning anyway. Taking a deep breath she decided to stop delaying the inevitable. "Would you like to go on a date with him?" she said, expressing no relief even though the question had been haunting her all day. 

With the ring of a bell, the elevator opened and the two girls entered. Asuka pressed the ground level button and then walked to the back corner, while Rei took one step and turned around, her body narrowly missing the sliding doors as they shut just in front of her. 

"I thought he was betrothed to Hikari Horaki?"

"They broke up today," the Second said softly, still fighting with the realization that she had actually asked the question in the first place. "He was wondering if you would like to go on a date with him."

"Why did he not ask me himself?" Rei inquired. 

"How the hell should I know?" Asuka barked, becoming frustrated with the fact she not only had to ask once, but now twice. "What's it going to be?"

Rei did not reply, but rather stared intently at the door of the elevator. Asuka stood in the corner and crossed her hands on her chest, not looking at the other girl as she awaited some response from the First Child. Seconds threatened to drag into minutes, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic clicking of the floor indicator as each number decremented. 

"What the hell are you doing? Asuka said impatiently, "trying to build up the scene with some kind of dramatic pause?"

"No," Rei said quickly, "that would be childish and cliche."

"Wait a minute," the redhead said, her tone a bit hopefully for the first time in the conversation. "If it's taken you this long to decide, you must not want to go."

"I did not say that…I am just unsure."

"Let me give you some friendly advice," Asuka smiled. "Shinji's not your type. You could do much better then him. What about Kensuke…you seemed to hit it off in the pool today."

"I am not interested in Aida," Rei said quickly. "And he is a pervert." 

"I'll agree with that," Asuka nodded approvingly, "but Shinji isn't any better. He's annoying, boring, stupid, and not much to look at."

"I find him…attractive," the blue haired girl said, a slight blush forming on her face as she said it.

"Whatever," the redhead muttered as she noticed Rei's reaction. "I'll tell Shinji you're not interested in him." 

"On the contrary…I would like very much to go on a date with Ikari."

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" Asuka cried, throwing her arms up in protest.

"I did," Rei nodded in agreement, "but other's perceptions are not my own." 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I desire to find out the truth," the First Child said softly. "To do that I need to spend time with him."

"Fine," Asuka said, frowning and staring down at her shoes. She remained like this for a few moments before suddenly looking up, a conceited smirk now dominating her expression. "How about a nice lunch with him tomorrow?"

"I was under the impression that a usual date involves dinner accompanied by some type of entertainment," Rei said matter of factly.

"Well you're wrong," the Second Child retorted. "Listen here, Wondergirl…I promised to set up a date between you two…and that's what I'm doing. Lunch, take it or leave it."

"That will be acceptable." 

"Great," Asuka said, letting out a sigh of relief. "Noon at the food court in the mall." 

The elevator lurched to a halt, it's ascent to the surface now completed. Slowly the doors slid open, and not waiting for a reply, Asuka pushed past Rei, still standing like an ashen statue in the opening. The blue eyed girl was almost out of earshot when she heard the other girl speak.

"Ikari and I both dislike crowds. A private lunch in my apartment would be more…intimate. Please tell him to arrive at eleven."

Asuka didn't respond but quickened her pace to a sprint as she darted out of sight, not stopping until she was sure the First was far behind. Falling back against the wall, her legs gave out and she slowly sunk down until she was seated on the floor. Her deep breaths interrupted now and again with sobbing as she pulled her knees up to her chest and watched the steady stream of tears fall below.

---------

"I'm home," Shinji called out as he kicked off his shoes and proceeded down the entrance hall toward the kitchen. "Not that anyone cares," he whispered after he heard no reply. 

Rounding the corner he stopped short as he caught sight of the Second Child sitting at the table, reading a magazine. She didn't bother to look up or acknowledge him, finding the upcoming summer fashions apparently more interesting than anything he had to say. Pausing for moment to watch her, he walked over to the refrigerator and took out a soda for himself. Popping the top, he contemplated sitting down at the table, after all he was a resident there, but thought better of it as Asuka quickly flipped a page, nearly ripping it out in the process. Leaning back against the countertop, Shinji decided to finish his drink there, rather than get within the redhead's range. Guzzling as fast as he could, he watched out of the corner of eye as the girl continued flipping pages, obviously not even looking at the pictures, much less reading them. Throwing the now empty can into the garbage, the Third Child was nearly out of the kitchen when a voice broke the silence.

"So, how was your...date?" Asuka seemed to struggle greatly with the last word. 

"Fine," Shinji replied turning and smiling at the seated girl. Satisfied with his response and anxious to leave the potentially hostile situation, he turned again and started to walk away when he was stopped again. 

"You have been gone for..." the Second Child began, glancing over to look at the clock to ensure she had the correct passage of time, "two and a half hours, and all you can say is, fine?"

"I don't know," the boy said shrugging his shoulders. "What more do you want me to say. We had a nice time together." 

"Details," Asuka said closing the magazine in front of her. "Give me some specifics on your wonderful rendezvous with the ice princess."

"You promised to be nice to her," Shinji protested.

"All right," Asuka snapped. Clearing her throat she began again. "How about some specifics on your date with...REI?"

"That's better," he smiled, receiving a sarcastic grin in return. "Not much to tell. She had made a nice lunch and we sat and talked about school and stuff."

"That's it?" the redhead sighed, standing up and walking to the refrigerator. She opened the door and began rummaging around. "That sounds boring even for the likes of you two." Emerging with a candy bar in one hand, a soda in the other and a sandwich crammed in her mouth, she used her hip to slam the door closed. "Y...f can dof betfer then thft."

"Huh?" Shinji replied.

Asuka placed the soda can down on the table and pulled the sandwich out of her mouth. "I said, 'you can do better then that'. Are you deaf in addition to being stupid?"

She stared at him for a moment, her face an emotionless blank. Using one hand she popped the top to her soda, the hiss from the escaping can the only sound in the room as she gazed over at him, searching his expression for any clue, any hint of what really took place in Rei's apartment earlier. In the past the boy was as easy to read as the morning newspaper, but lately he had a certain air of confidence around him, a new way of carrying himself around others that made obsolete her earlier methods of detection. "There must be more to the story than that," Asuka smirked as she stepped forward and approached him. "I mean, did you make out before lunch...or after? Better yet did she do something like greet you wearing nothing but a towel...and then the two of you tumbled to the floor in the heat of passion." 

Shinji gave her a bewildered look before replying. "That's exactly what happened," he said with a not too subtle amount of sarcasm. "You figured it out. In fact I spent the afternoon tying Ayanami up and having kinky sex with her." 

"Pervert!" Asuka screamed, throwing her sandwich at the boy. "You men are all the same!"

"I'm kidding," Shinji chuckled, quickly dodging to his left to avoid the flying bread and meat combination. 

Asuka fell back into her chair. "Why don't you just move in with her and get it over with?"

"What are you talking about?" 

"You know exactly what I mean," the redhead exclaimed, taking a quick sip of soda to cool her inflamed vocal cords. "I knew it was only a matter of time before the two of you got together," she said knowingly, "it's so obvious. I bet you only pretended to go out with Hikari to make Rei jealous. You will do anything to get the girl of your dreams...won't you!" 

She glared at her fellow pilot, grinding her teeth and clenching her fists in a fit of anger. "Hell, you both are so much alike I would swear you are related somehow." 

"And what's so wrong with that?" Shinji replied sharply, having heard enough. 

"It's called incest, you moron!" Asuka cried.

"Not that," the Third Child grumbled before taking a deep breath to calm down and allow the situation to defuse slightly. "I meant what's wrong with caring enough about someone to do whatever it takes to be with them?" he said softly.

"You're pathetic, Shinji!"

"No, I'm not," he protested loudly as he watched the redhead cross her arms on her chest and look away. "Listen," Shinji said, his tone much softer and calmer than before, "for the first time in my life I really think I know how to find happiness." 

"Enlighten me…" Asuka said coldly without bothering to turn around.

Shinji looked down her and smiled, though she could not see it with her back to him. "I don't want to be alone Asuka. I've spent most of my life like that and I hated it. Now I've realized that I can't be happy if I'm alone." 

"Being a little insecure, aren't you," Asuka said, turning around and raising an eyebrow as she cast a probing gaze on her roommate.

"I don't think so," Shinji said, shaking his head a little for emphasis. "What if one of those Angels kills me someday? I don't want to die all alone."

"You're the Invincible Shinji Ikari, famous pilot of Evangelion Unit 01," Asuka said derisively. "You have nothing to worry about, it's only us lowly girls who have to worry about dying."

"What if you were hurt really bad," he questioned, "wouldn't you want someone to care enough to come and visit?"

"Shinji," Asuka said, her expression matching the seriousness of her tone. "That would never happen because I'll fight to the death before I accept defeat."

"You can't mean that," Shinji gasped, not wanting to believe it but realizing from the look on her face that it was probably true. "Do you really think your life is that worthless?"

"I can't believe this," Asuka said loudly, slamming her fist down on the table for effect. "First I have your girlfriend, Rei the emotionless Wonderdoll, try to tell me how to be happy and now I have you, the Original Lonesome Loser, explaining to me that MY life isn't worthless." Looking skyward, she cried out in apparent agony. "Please, Angels, please...cause Third Impact and take me away from this crazy place!" Turning, she gazed over and smirked at the boy.

"Okay, fine," the Third said knowing his current approach was going nowhere. "What if the Angels never come again…what then?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What if the Angels never come back and you have to become just a normal person again?" Shinji said, returning her grin with one of his own.

"But that's never going to happen," Asuka said nervously.

"Why not?" Shinji returned. "There hasn't been an Angel attack in a year. You've seen the way my father is acting. Isn't it obvious to you that something isn't right?" Judging by the concerned look on her face, he deemed that she had also noticed the signs. "So I'll ask you again, what if there were no more Evangelions, no more NERV, no more Second Child…just you."

Asuka put her hand on her chin as she thought about his words. For the first time in her life she actually began to think about life without Eva. What would she do? Where could she go? Since she was seven, her entire life had been focused on one purpose and one purpose only. Pilot the Eva. What if that purpose was taken from her? 

"It's a tough question," Shinji said softly as he observed her introspection, "and not something that can be answered very easily." Pausing for a moment he watched as the blue eyed girl seemed to nod almost imperceptibly at the comment. "Personally, I don't know what life will bring me but I know that I don't want to be alone when I face it."

"So that's where the good Miss Aya-nopersonality fits in," Asuka grinned knowingly. "She's going to fill in the gaps of your pitiful little life."

"Maybe," he said, lowering his head to avert her mocking stare.

"What do you see in her, anyway?" the Second Child quizzed. "That albino skin and crazy eyes? She looks like an escapee from some test lab. You know the type with the giant tanks filled with bodies and stuff." 

"Why do you always have to put Rei down?" Shinji frowned. "She's never done anything to you."

"I'm not putting her down," Asuka objected, "I'm just pointing out a few things. If I wanted to make fun of her I would comment about something like her fashion sense, a personality one notch below the Magi or her atrocious piloting skills." She grabbed at her soda and prepared to take a drink when a broad smile appeared on her face. "Or her choice in men."

"Whatever," he sighed shaking his head. "Are you finished?" he asked while taking a couple of steps back out of the kitchen and beginning his retreat.

"No," she replied sharply, halting him in his tracks. "I want to know why you like her." 

"Why?"

"Call it curiosity if you wish," she said smugly, looking up at him. 

"I don't know," Shinji said shrugging his shoulders, "and I really don't have time for this."

"What's the matter?" Asuka said coyly with a smirk matching her tone. "Another big date tonight?"

The Third Child lowered his gaze to the floor and stared at his shoes for a moment before again looking at her. Clearing his throat he spoke very softly, "well…um…actually…yes." 

"Isn't that just grand," the redhead exclaimed, "you and that bitch are just about inseparable now, aren't you!" Asuka jumped up and stood in front of him menacingly. "You disgust me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't believe you picked her," Asuka said loudly.

"Who would you rather have me choose?" Shinji replied quickly. "Huh?"

The two Children stood toe to toe, staring intently at one another, neither expression changing in the slightest as their eyes locked on one another. For more then a few heartbeats they each waited for the other to make a move, a sign of some type to signal what the next step in the confrontation would be. Finally Asuka blinked and ultimately turned away in defeat.

"I'm going to take a nap before tonight," Shinji said as he began walking toward his room down the hall. "Try to keep it down."

He hadn't taken more then a few steps before she called to him. "It's all going to change after tonight, isn't it?"

"Excuse me?" he said puzzled by the question.

"I realize that after tonight you and Rei will be together," Asuka said softly, "and that you and I will never be the same." He could both see and hear the hurt in the girl as she spoke. "I guess I should have expected it…everybody is different since this all started a year ago. Misato, Kaji, Hikari, Touji, you…Rei. Everyone moving on and leaving me behind." 

"We're not abandoning you," Shinji said as he reached out to grasp his door. "I'm not abandoning you. We're all just…living."

"But I liked things the way they were."

"Did you?" he said as he slid his door open. 

"Of course I did," Asuka replied immediately, "I was piloting Eva and battling the Angels. Because of that everyone respected me, everyone needed me…everybody liked me."

"There is more to life than piloting Eva," Shinji said, "If you can't see that then I'm afraid you may end up alone for the rest of your life." With that he slowly slid the door shut behind him. Standing there for a moment he heard a few choice German swears and the distinct sound of a pair of A-10 Neural Connectors hitting the wall at the far end of the hall.

--------

Shinji's image stared back at him from the mirror as he made one final check. Teeth brushed, hair combed, face washed, deodorant applied…he mentally checked off each item the same way he ran through the prelaunch routine in the Eva. Straightening the collar on his white shirt and tightening his belt one more notch, he smiled and turned away from the mirror. '_All systems go,'_ he thought to himself as he prepared to open the bathroom door. Taking one final deep breath, he slid the door open and walked down the hall.

Standing in the entrance to the kitchen, the sight that met his eyes was beyond anything he could comprehend. Sure, Asuka was prone to outbursts and the occasional broken dish, in fact the last thing he heard was one of these eruptions before his SDAT and sleep drowned out the rest. But he could never have imagined this. Looking down he saw her magazine had been ripped to shreds, pieces strewn about on the floor. The chairs were upended and broken and the table looked as though it had been kicked to the far side of the room. Turning around he quickly glanced into the living room and noticed it hadn't fared any better. The cushions on the couch were thrown about the room, the entire CD collection was in shambles and the wall appeared to have several foot shaped holes in it. Stepping back into the kitchen, Shinji picked up a torn piece of paper off the table. Holding it up he realized it was part of a picture and flipping over a couple more, it became clear he was looking at the remains of a picture of himself and Asuka that Misato had recently taken. Piecing the photo together like a jigsaw puzzle, he frowned as the enormity of the situation set in. As temperamental as his roommate could be, she had never come close to this level before. It was clear that she was very upset, and he knew why. The only question left unanswered was what would happen next. She was right…things were going to change after tonight, that was certain. His silent deliberation was broken by the sound of the doorbell. Noticing the clock on the wall was broken and hanging by its cord, he glanced down at his watch and smiled as he saw it was exactly five o'clock.

"That's for me," he called out, more out of habit than worrying if anyone was there to hear it. "It's probably Rei." Pausing for a moment he waited for some type of response, feeling a bit surprised to get none especially how he knew that name affected his fellow Eva Pilot. "I'm going to the festival…I don't know when I'll be back."

Getting no reaction other than continued silence, Shinji walked down the entranceway and prepared to open the door. Reaching up his finger was just about to push the button, when he noticed a hand reach over his shoulder and turn the lock. "What are you doing?" he said as he turned to face its owner.

"Don't go," Asuka said, her voice sounding quite reserved and hollow. She looked almost as bad as the rooms she had destroyed earlier. Her usually perfect crimson locks were now stringy, half of them drooped over and covering her face. Her eyes were red and puffy; the mascara stains on her cheeks testimony to the many tears had been shed. The light yellow tee shirt had spattered bloodstains, no doubt from her torn and battered knuckles that even now still had touches of fresh blood on them. The girl, who had fought and won battles with Angels, had finally found an opponent who was her equal. 

Herself. 

"Please don't abandon me."

"Why?" Shinji said quickly, "you're only doing this because you hate Rei."

"That's not true," Asuka protested, taking a deep breath as she fought back her tears.

"Yes it is!" he replied, sounding frustrated with the entire situation.

"No," she said, her trembling mouth barely able to form the word. "This is not about her. This is about…"

"What Asuka?" Shinji said staring into her bloodshot eyes. "What do you want?"

"I can live alone," she said hastily, "I don't need you. I'll live alone. I won't cry anymore."

"Then why are you crying?" he said softly as he listened to the redhead suck back the tears.

"NO!" Asuka screamed, wiping the moisture off her cheeks. "I don't like boys. I don't like you. I don't like mommy and daddy. I don't like ANYBODY!" 

"Then what do you want?"

"I'll live alone," she whimpered, tears again freely flowing down her cheeks. She looked into his deep blue eyes and searched for her answers. "No," she said shaking her head back and forth, "I don't want that."

"Then what DO you want?" he reiterated, never moving his gaze as their eyes remained locked on one another. As if by some divine providence, the doorbell rang yet again, adding yet another factor of desperation to the situation.

The girl took a deep breath, gathering up all the strength she had left for one last desperate act. "I don't wanna be alone," she cried, the weight of eight years of denial and self-persecution falling off with those five words. Suddenly the fear was gone, the walls had been broken, and she was free. "I don't wanna be alone," she repeated, falling forward and embracing him tightly as she began sobbing onto his shoulder.

"Asuka…I…" he stammered as she squeezed him as if her very life depended on it. He never got a chance to finish his comment as she started again.

"If you go, then nobody will protect me," she sobbed, "nobody will be with me."

"I will protect you," Shinji smiled, pushing her back so he could look into her tear filled eyes. "I will be with you. You will never be alone again."

"B…b…but, you…" Asuka stammered, her emotions flowing out at an uncontrollable pace after years of repression. "Why?" she was all she could say before she pulled him back into an embrace, tears of pain replaced with those of joy.

--------- 

Touji glanced down at his watch and groaned. "It's been five minutes since we rang, where is he? I don't want to miss the food."

"Well what did he say?" Hikari said as she looked up at him. The smartly dressed pair stood in front of the Katsuragi apartment, arms entwined as the girl rested her head on his shoulder. She was wearing an elegant white spring dress, cut a bit lower then she would have liked, but not low enough in her new boyfriend's opinion. Her hair was not in its usual pig tail configuration, but rather was pulled up into a tight bun, giving nice exposure to the white choker she wore.

The tall boy fidgeted nervously as she held him close. Surprisingly his turquoise blue pant and suit combination was not the source. Nor were his bright red shoes and white socks. "He told me to be here at five o'clock on the button. Not one minute before or after."

"Then I'm sure he'll be out in a minute…he's probably finishing getting ready."

"Let me try again," he replied, pressing the doorbell.

"Hello?" a voice called out behind them. Turning around the pair saw Misato and Kaji walking toward them from the elevator. "Oh, it's you, Touji…Hikari," the Major said with a wave of her hand. Within moments the two couples were exchanging pleasantries in front of the door.

"You look gorgeous!" Misato said, holding the class rep out an arms length as she studied her from head to toe. "Shinji is a lucky man."

"Actually," Hikari blushed, "we aren't going out anymore. I'm with Touji now," he said motioning toward her new boyfriend.

"You...Touji...Shinji…" the purple haired woman started before shaking her head in distress. "I need a damn scorecard to keep track of who is going out with who." 

"I'm sure he'll explain it to you," the girl said confidently, "it's really ok between us."

"What brings you here?" Kaji said, shaking Touji's hand as he spoke. "Hey, I have that same ensemble at home," the older man said as he noticed the boy's clothes. "Of course SHE never lets me wear it in public," he said pointing at the Operations Director.

"We're supposed to meet Shinji here at five," Touji said, "but he's not answering the door."

"I'll take care of that," Misato smiled as she pulled her key from her purse. 

Like the curtain at a theater, the door slid open, its retreating form slowly revealing the scene beyond. And on that stage, there stood the two Pilots, locked in an embrace and so captured in the moment they didn't even notice the audience. 

Or they didn't care. 

"Shinji? Asuka?" Misato called out, not really sure what was happening but feeling the need to make some connection with her Children. When they didn't immediately respond she prepared to step forward when Kaji grabbed and held her arm. Turning her to face him, he shook his head slightly and smiled. 

Reluctantly Asuka broke free, taking a long hard look into Shinji's eyes before wiping the newly formed tears out of her own. 

"Sorry," Shinji said as he and Asuka stepped aside so the others could enter. Touji gave his friend a frown as he stepped by, but Hikari's expression was much more supportive. She smiled first at the boy, taking a long look in his eyes, unspoken words obviously passing between them. Shinji smiled back as the class rep stepped over and hugged her best friend. 

"That was…unexpected," Kaji smiled as he addressed the Third, "good job." He turned toward his partner. "I think you are going to need a beer," the pony tailed man said as he followed Touji down the entrance way into the kitchen. "I know I do."

"Tomorrow we are going to have a LONG talk," Misato said loudly, speaking to Shinji but making it all too clear that Asuka was going to be part of it also. "I need to find out exactly what the hell is going on." 

The boy gulped loudly as she glared at him. "Y…yes," he nodded.

The violet haired woman started to walk away, but stopped and whispered into his ear. "I always knew you two had feelings for one another. The real question was whether or not my apartment could survive you two denying it much longer." She winked and took off down the hall after her boyfriend before Shinji had a chance to reply. "OH MY GOD!" she screamed upon entering the shattered remains of the kitchen. 

"You aren't going to the festival looking like THAT," Hikari said as she continued to hold her trembling friend in an embrace. "Bad enough I have to be seen with that…outfit…Touji has, I don't need you trying the 'haggard' look as well." 

Asuka broke free and wiped the last remnants of saline from her eyes. Forcing back her last fit of tears, she turned them into laughter at her friend's comment. 

"Let's go get you dressed to impress."

The two girls turned and started down the hall when they found their way blocked by their respective Stooge boyfriends.

"I was here at five o'clock, just like you asked," Touji said, grinning as he finished. "Why'd it take so long to open the door? Were you getting some action?"

Shinji glanced over and noticed that the girls were standing behind them. "Never mind," he said nervously, calling out in the direction of the kitchen he tried to summon his guardian. "Misato…Kaji, are you ready? We don't want to be late."

"I still have to get ready," Asuka said, giving the Third a very curious gaze as she spoke. Finding him surprisingly elusive, she turned and set her sights on the more vulnerable of the targets. "Nice suit," she said to Touji with a sarcastic smile, "raiding the lost and found at the homeless shelter again?" The larger boy clenched his fist and brandished it menacingly, Hikari and Shinji forced to immediately step between them.

"Don't worry," Asuka joked to her friend as the girl fought to hold her boyfriend back. "I just wanted to ask the used car salesman here what he was just saying to Shinji."

"Nothing," the Third Child interrupted as he and Hikari did their best to force the larger boy down the hallway. "Would you like a beer Touji?"

"Hey, I'm talking to him," the Second protested as she followed them. "What about being here at five?"

"It's really not important," the Unit 01 pilot said uneasily as they finally reached the kitchen. Misato was on her hands and knees crying in the center of the room, while Kaji gently rubbed her back and mentioned that insurance would cover most of the damage. 

"Shinji told me and Hikari to be here at five on the dot, not one minute early or late," Touji yelled to the redhead. "Now where's my beer?"

"He told us the same thing," Kaji added, looking up at them while his soon to be fiancée swore never to have children of her own. "Get me one," he yelled to Touji before glancing down as the woman at his feet amended her earlier statement by deciding to kill the Children she already had. "Better make it two." 

"Wait a minute," Hikari said as she reviewed the facts. "How come you were late then? You were nowhere to be seen at five, you got here at like five oh five."

"I know," Kaji replied, "we were late because I have all my clocks five minutes fast."

"In that case," the class rep continued, "you should have been here five minutes EARLY, not late."

"Hold on," Touji said as he handed two beers to the eternally unshaven man. "The way I figure it," he said thoughtfully, pausing for a moment to check his mental arithmetic with his fingers. "He set his clock five minutes FAST, so really he was like ten minutes early." 

"Check your math again," Hikari admonished.

"Fifteen minutes early?" he said quickly, cracking open his beer can in the process.

"Shut up," Hikari snapped, "and give that beer to Mr. Kaji. You're not old enough to be drinking."

"Oh man," Touji sighed, giving his best despondent look as he argued his case. "Come on, its only ONE beer. And it's with the guys."

"I hate the taste of beer," she replied, frowning as she spoke. Pausing for a moment she turned the frown into a smirk as she continued. "And I would never think about kissing anybody with beer breath."

"Here," Touji said quickly, shoving the open can into Kaji's face. "I hate beer."

"Can we get back to the original question?" Asuka shouted, grabbing Shinji by the arm as the boy tried to slip away. "You stay right here with me."

"Shinji told us all to meet him here at five o'clock," Misato said as she rose to her feet, leaning on Kaji for support. "Now can someone please explain what the hell happened to my kitchen?"

"Wait a minute," the redhead exclaimed, choosing to ignore her guardian's request. "Where is Rei?"

"Rei?" the Major questioned, "what would she be doing here?"

"Because she and Shinji are supposed to be going on a date right now."

"We really need to get going if we want good seats," Shinji whined as he struggled to free himself from Asuka's grip. 

"A date?" Misato said bewilderedly, "that would be kind of difficult since she is in Okinawa with the swim team." She took a long pull of her beer before continuing. "I had to do all kinds of paperwork to get her permission to go."

Asuka turned and faced her new boyfriend, who was trying his best to look away from her glare. "So you're telling me that Rei is not in the city."

"Not even in this country," Touji said smartly, "didn't you hear? She's in Okinawa." Hikari tugged on his arm as a signal to shut up.

"She put in the request over a week ago," Misato said nonchalantly. "Ask him," she said pointing to Shinji, "he was with her when she handed it to me."

"A week ago!" Asuka grumbled, "that's it!" Modifying the grip she still held, Asuka twisted the Third's arm behind his back and began pushing him across the kitchen, completely disregarding the boy's panicked struggles. "You will have to excuse us for a moment," she said, looking back and smiling as she shoved Shinji toward her room. "We need a moment or two alone."

Within seconds the sound of a door slamming shut resonated throughout the apartment. The four remaining members of the party stood frozen in stunned silence at the turn of events. "Well," Misato said softly, "this may be a while." Looking around at the disaster area formerly known as her kitchen she continued. "I'd offer you a seat, but it appears all of mine are broken."

"That's okay," Hikari smiled. 

"Come on," Kaji said motioning for Touji to follow him. "Let's carry this junk out to the dumpster."

Touji prepared to protest, but noticed that the older man was discretely pointing to a beer can he had stashed in his pocket. "Sure Mr. Kaji," he smiled, picking up a shattered chair and following the former spy towards the doorway. 

"Tell me," Kaji whispered to the boy when they were safely out of earshot of their mates. "Have you ever tried smoking?" 

"What do you think is going to happen?" Hikari said, sounding quite concerned.

"I have no idea," the violet haired woman returned, placing her now empty beer can on the counter top. 

The two stood in the quiet stillness, straining to listen for any sound coming from Asuka's room but hearing nothing but the sounds of their own heartbeats. After a minute of waiting, Misato broke the calm.

"Let's go in the other room," she said to the girl, "then at least we can sit down."

"And we might be able to hear something," Hikari smiled as she fell in behind the older woman. 

"OH MY GOD!" Misato screamed as she stepped into the living room and caught sight of Asuka's redecoration efforts. "I'm going to kill that girl!" She turned and grabbed the class rep by the shoulders. "Can Asuka go stay at your place? PLEASE?"

"No way," Hikari said shaking her head in objection as she stepped cautiously over a broken vase. "You know how she is. Once you let her stay over for one night, you can't get that girl to leave. Plus she hogs the tub, just lying around in it for hours on end." 

"Well, I know for sure that I'm not cleaning this mess up," the Major said coolly, "she and Shinji can do it and I'll stay at Kaji's until they finish."

"That is if he is still alive," the class rep frowned, "I haven't heard a sound come out of that room."

"I know," Misato nodded, "even if she was killing him we would have noticed a scream or two."

"Maybe we should check on them...just to make sure they are alright."

"My, my aren't you nosy," the Operations Director smirked.

"No, I'm not," the girl protested, "I figured that..."

"Me too," Misato smiled as she motioned for the class rep to follow. Tiptoeing as quietly as possible across the floor they soon found themselves standing in front of Asuka's door. Holding their ears against it for a moment, they looked at one another curiously.

"I still can't hear anything," Misato whispered, the girl nodding in agreement. "What should we do?"

"I don't know," Hikari said softly, shrugging her shoulders at the comment. "You're their guardian."

"That I am," Misato frowned, "and as such I need to make sure one or both of them isn't seriously injured or dead." Reaching down she grasped the handle to the door. "One...two...THREE!" she said, flinging the door open on the last numeral.

Much to their surprise, neither Child was injured or dead. In fact much the opposite was the case. The Eva Pilots were lying on Asuka's bed, she on top of him, holding his arms up above his head though he showed no signs of resisting. They were so immersed in their kiss that neither even noticed the two observers now watching their every move from the doorway. It was apparent to everyone involved that Asuka showed no signs of finishing any time soon.

Misato smiled and slowly shut the door and she and the girl walked back into the kitchen.

"That was so romantic," Hikari gushed before noticing the exasperated look on the Major's face. "What's the matter? I thought you would be happy?"

"In a way I am," Misato sighed, opening a small cupboard door and rummaging for something in the back. "But in another way, I'm not."

"What?" the class rep questioned as she watched the older woman pull a large bottle out of the cabinet and remove the cap.

"You see," Misato said as she held the container up and smelled the clear liquid within. Scrunching her nose in obvious displeasure she held the bottle out and prepared to drink it. "It was bad enough the past year with them hiding their feelings toward one another." She took a very long drink of sake, pulling the bottle down and shaking violently from side to side. "WOOOOOWWWW!" she screamed. "Now try to imagine," she continued, her voice strained and a bit hoarse, "what my life is going to be like." She took another long guzzle. "I am going to be in charge of two kids, who live in the same house, and are madly in love with one another...two hormone filled TEENAGERS no less." 

Misato started to lift the bottle yet again when Hikari ripped it out of her hands. "Give me that!" she shouted and began swigging it herself. 

"What are you doing?" Misato protested, "you don't drink!"

The younger girl pulled the container from her lips, her face instantly contorting as if she had drank gasoline, which might have tasted better than the low grade, low cost, sake that Misato bought. "I know," she wheezed, fighting hard to keep the contents of her stomach in place. "But I thought about what you said and remembered that I'm Asuka's best friend. Do you think MY life just got any easier?" The two shared a laugh, and passed the bottle between them as they waited for the others to return. 

The laughter permeated the room, escaping out an open window and mixing with the sounds of the bustling city of Tokyo-3, joining with the rest in creating the symphony that was life. Sure, nothing special had happened that night, and in the grand scheme of things, nothing really did. The street vendors set up their wares for all to see. The bars and restaurants began filling as patrons shuffled in; anxious to put the past weeks troubles behind them. Arcades were filled with the sounds of happy children, each glad for two days of freedom; and the malls burgeoned with shoppers all to eager to relieve themselves of their hard-earned pay. Nothing very different then any of a thousand other cities in the world. And yet, in this city, at this time, six lonely people found the truth within themselves that they had each so desperately avoided. And for that one shining moment, all seemed right in the world.

Deep within the cavernous Geofront, buried far within the confines of NERV, the dimly lit Evangelion hanger remained silent. The workers had long since departed, their work finished as they rushed home to friends and family. The light hum of electrical equipment the only reminder of their earlier presence. On one side the stoic visage of Unit 01 stood, staring endlessly at the bright red visage of its counterpart, Unit 02. For an instant, and Doctor Akagi was never able to understand why, nor even confirm it ever happened, both biomechanical beasts activated without the benefit of a pilot. Sensing something wonderful had happened, they expressed their relief the only way they knew how. Eyes lit up in a brilliant display, burning off the excess energy they had generated before dimming and returning to normal, as they awaited a call to defend their Children. A call that may never come again... 

And several hundred miles away, a beautiful young girl, sat in a plane as it began its final approach to land. She gazed out the window, her red eyes searching for home as she looked out over the sea. In the dim reflection that is cast back to her, she noticed that she was smiling. 

THE END

Authors Notes: (Epilogue immediately after)

And so it ends…They say you can't please everybody, and I know that some people probably aren't happy with the way this ended. But the funny thing is I had the ending of this fic finished long before I had anything else written. Watching episode 9 one day, I began to think about what would happen if Asuka was pushed to her breaking point, not in terms of battle training like the series, but what about life in general? What if she had her back to the wall and thought she was about to lose Shinji. What would she do? Then it was only a matter of getting her into that position, a problem solved when I thought about the fact that Shinji's mother and father were schemers, why not him too? I tried to keep an episode 9 feel to the fic, hence the humor and lightness as opposed to seriousness seen towards the end of the series. Anyway, that's the history. I'm did my best to keep the characters true to the series, I kept the same problems they had, just tried to think about how things would have changed if the Angels stopped coming and they slowly returned to normal lives. And I tried not to bash or treat any characters unfairly, well; I did beat up on Kensuke. And as many people have noted, there are a lot of references to other fanfics and also references to events that actually happened in the series, but in this timeline will never happen. If anyone wants, drop me an email and I will count all the references. Finally let me say that I could not have done this story without the help of Random, Rhine and 20eva. They are the best prereaders / idea suppliers / motivators anyone can ask for and I can't thank them enough. 

In lieu of the usual omake, I have included an epilogue to hopefully answer some questions and give just a bit more of the story. One last thing…in writing this fic I came up with some good ideas for a sequel. Let me know if you would like to see this story line continue. As always, C & C are welcome at ryoma3000@yahoo.com and on darkscribes.org

Epilogue- "Because I Need You"

Sweet sounds filled the air in the Tokyo-3 Municipal Park, as all around happy people moved and swayed to the rhythm of the music. The expansive lawn had been transformed into an open-air arena and a large, well-lit stage now dominated one end of it. Directly in front of it, large groups danced, their shifting bodies looking like waves in an ocean each time the spotlights scanned the crowd and illuminated them. Set back a bit from the crowd and somewhat out of range of the deafening music, large tables and vendor booths had been set up to provide a place to rest, along with food and beverage for the night's festivities. 

Of course the term 'sweet sounds' did not necessarily represent the opinions of everyone in attendance.

"I can't believe we have to listen to this crap!" Touji lamented as he took a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"I know," Shinji nodded, "this is just bad."

"You two can't appreciate the classics," Kaji smiled, his own body swaying in time with the music as he took a long sip of his beer.

"Classics?" the Third questioned, giving the man a bewildered stare. "If this stuff is classic then your generation had some pretty awful music."

"Retro shit sucks!" Touji clamored, sending bits of cheeseburger spraying on the table. "Who the hell booked N'Sync anyway? These clowns are practically fossils." Any further complaints from the boy were squelched as he jammed a handful of french fries into his mouth.

"They seem to be enjoying it," Shinji observed, gazing over to where their respective girlfriends danced a short distance away. A more accurate description would be that Misato gyrated like a crazed, drunken fangirl, while Asuka and Hikari stood in the background and laughed at the older woman's display. 

"Katsuragi always loved these guys," Kaji explained, "in fact she credits the words in their songs with giving her the courage to speak again." 

"Half the world's population dies during Second Impact and these losers survive," Shinji grumbled, "life's not fair."

"Life's not fair?" Kaji replied curiously, "Shinji Ikari, I would have expected you to say something like that a few months ago...but not now."

"What do you mean?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" the older man smiled, "you're truly happy for the first time in your life. You have the girl of your dreams, your friends and loved ones are no longer on a path of self-destruction and the future for everyone could not look brighter." He lifted his glass and polished off the rest of his beer before placing it back down. Staring at the empty container as the foam slowly slid down the sides, Kaji's mind raced as he reviewed what he just said. 

"And all within the space of a month," he mumbled softly, more for his own edification than anyone else. 

"Mr. Kaji," Hikari called out exasperatedly as she ran up to their table. "Misato ripped her bra off and threw it on the stage." The girl doubled over as she fought to regain her breath from all the excitement.

"Again?" Kaji frowned, shaking his head back and forth. "I thought she would outgrow this when she hit thirty. Was anybody hurt?"

"Asuka is keeping the crowd back," the class rep panted, "but it hit the lead singer in the head and knocked him out." 

"So that's what all the cheering was for," Touji said, straining his neck to see if he could catch a glimpse of the unbound Major. 

"But she's still dancing like crazy, Asuka and I are worried she's going to knock herself out," Hikari said, her elbow finding her boyfriend's stomach as she noticed his keen interest in Misato's predicament. "Or anybody walking by within five feet." 

"Here," Kaji said, pulling a large, bright red bra from the inside pocket on his jacket. "Give her this."

"Thanks," Hikari said, grabbing the lace trimmed item and running back into the crowd. 

The pony-tailed man noticed the astonished looks on the two boy's faces. "When you go out with someone long enough, you learn to be prepared," he smiled. 

"I'm starving," Touji sighed as he rummaged through the pile of empty food containers in front of him. "Do you guys want anything?"

"Get me a couple of beers," Kaji replied, passing the boy a handful of cash in the process.

"But Mr. Kaji, I'm not old enough to buy alcohol."

"Try this," the super spy winked, handing the jock a small, laminated object.

"A fake ID!" Touji shouted with joy, "you're my hero." He read aloud the specifics of the person he would be imitating. "Tomokazu Seki, age twenty two, blood type B, ...kind of a stupid name, but I ain't complaining."

"Keep it," Kaji smiled, "I have a whole bunch."

"Thanks," Touji said as he ran off to the beer vendor.

"Shinji," the older man said seriously as he turned to face the Third Child. "Now that he's gone there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure," the dark haired boy nodded.

"Something about the past month has been bugging me...and I couldn't put my finger on it until now." 

"What's that?" Shinji replied curiously.

Kaji pulled a newspaper out from his jacket and slid it in front of the boy. "Read me that article on top."

Shinji did as he was told. "Body discovered. Thursday morning Tokyo-3 police discovered the body of Yoko Miyamura floating in Lake Ashino number 2. Forensic evidence gathered at the scene indicate that Miss Miyamura had been strangled with a bright red cloth object that, based on the forces exerted, was capable of supporting a great weight. Miss Miyamura had recently been elevated to rank of Master Melon Grower in the district. Police had no comment on the recent rash of melon related violence..." 

"Give me that!" Kaji bellowed, ripping the paper out of the boy's hands. "This one," he said, returning the paper and pointing to the article in question.

"Billionaire wed." The Third Child cleared his throat before he continued. "Local billionaire and man about town, Koichi Yamadera, was married this past weekend. The bride, Megumi Ogata, and Mr. Yamadera exchanged vows on the Yebisu Brewery owner's personal yacht. Unconfirmed reports claim the ceremony did not go off as planned. Sources say that Miss Ogata repeatedly chanted that she 'mustn't run away,' on the altar before jumping over the side of the ship and almost drowning because she could not swim. After she was rescued and heavily sedated, the service continued unabated. They will be honeymooning in Fiji for the next month."

"Notice anything unusual in that piece?" Kaji questioned sternly. 

"Yeah," Shinji replied knowingly, "wouldn't Fiji be underwater because of Second Impact?" 

"No!" the older man said loudly, "not that." Kaji leaned back in his seat, placing his arms behind his head as a confident smile grew on his face. "Don't you think it's strange that Yamadera would be asking Misato out for a romantic rendezvous on his yacht the same weekend he was getting married there?"

"Yes," the boy nodded in agreement, "that is strange."

"And?" Kaji pressed, frustrated with the Third's stalling tactics. "Care to explain what's going on?"

"I can't believe that Mr. Yamadera would be cheating on his wife so soon after getting married," Shinji said dejectedly, "and he sounded so nice on the phone too."

"Don't play games with me," Kaji said sternly, "Koichi Yamadera never called Misato, did he?"

"Yes he did."

"Fine," the unshaven man said smugly, "then we should call his new wife and inform her about her husband's infidelity." Pulling out his cell phone, he held it out in front of him and prepared to dial. "What's the number?"

"I don't know," Shinji shrugged.

"That's because you never had it," Kaji smiled, "did you?" The Third Child returned a blank stare to the man as the interrogation continued. "Tell me something...that night when you left the restaurant, why did you go to NERV and not straight home?"

"I...I forgot something," the boy stammered.

"Are you sure it wasn't to talk with someone," Kaji said coolly, "someone who could help you figure out a way to right the wrongs in your life?"

Shinji looked down at the table as he hung is head in apparent despair. Slowly he pulled his hands out and placed them in front of him. Interlacing his fingers he brought them up, ultimately resting his chin on his steepled hands. Shifting his gaze to stare directly at the man, Shinji spoke, his tone soft yet deliberate. "Are you implying that I went to visit my father and that together we devised this intricate plan?"

"Y...yes," Kaji gulped, the image sitting across from him too familiar, if not quite as menacing.

The Unit 01 pilot smiled, the corners of his mouth just visible his hands. "I am pleased with the outcome. Everything went according to the scenario." The two stared at one another for a moment before Shinji continued. "As for this matter, I trust that nothing will ever be heard again, much like a bell which does not ring."

"Beers here!" Touji said excitedly as he slammed the containers on the table, spilling some of the amber liquid in the process. "What bell? And what's with the creepy pose, Shinji?"

"Who me?" Shinji said innocently as he dropped his hands back to his side. "I was just doing my impression of my father. Pretty good, huh?"

"Remarkable," Kaji said softly, shaking his head as he tried to clear the image of the Gendo from his mind. 

"Mr. Kaji!" Hikari called out as she approached from the raucous crowd. "Misato's done it again."

"She threw her bra up on the stage again?" Touji said excitedly, eliciting a frown from the girl as she stormed over and stomped on his toe. 

"No!" the class rep exclaimed as she watched her boyfriend hop around in pain in front of her. "Actually...yes," she said turning to Kaji as he guzzled one of the beers. 

"Oh great," he sighed after placing the glass back on the table. "Based on what happened last time, I brought three pairs of panties but that's it for bras." He took another sip of his beer while contemplating a solution. "Anyone have some masking tape?"

"I've got good news and bad news," Asuka said as she sat down next to Shinji at the table. "Which do you want first?"

"The good news," Kaji replied.

"Well the good news is Misato has her bra back," the Second smiled. "The bad news is she went up on stage to get it."

"WHAT?" Kaji screamed. 

"There she is!" Touji said, pointing at the stage beyond the mass of humanity. "And she's attacking the band."

"Looks like she didn't put her bra back on either," Hikari said matter of factly as she discretely slipped her arm through his to ensure that he would not join the inebriated Major onstage.

For the next few minutes, the five of them watched Misato run back and forth across the stage, dodging security officers and roadies as she attempted to molest each member of the musical group. The crowd was fervently behind her endeavors, cheering loudly each time she succeeded in kissing or groping one of the band members, or each time she successfully evaded capture, one time resorting to punching out an overzealous security guard. But they saved their loudest cheers until after her eventual capture, seven men carrying her kicking and screaming off the stage.

"Kaji!" Misato's voice boomed out over the loudspeakers as she yelled into the cordless microphone she had swiped. "I love you!" The sounds of a struggle came over the sound system before the Major's voice returned. "Let go…get your hands off my ass, buddy…Kaji…will you marry me? Watch those hands, Mister!" The next sound was that of a microphone hitting the pavement below.

"I'll go post her bail," Kaji said nonchalantly, "and meet you back at the apartment." He noticed that everyone was looking at him. "What?" he whined, knowing immediately why they found a sudden interest in him. "Fine…I'll marry her." 

"That's great," Shinji replied as he and Touji shook the older man's hand. Hikari and Asuka each gave the man a congratulatory hug.

"Not exactly your traditional proposal," Kaji chuckled as he turned and began walking away. "Nothing like getting a proposal from your drunken wife to be as she is being arrested for rushing the stage of an N'Sync concert."

"Goodbye," Shinji called out as the man walked off in the direction of police station.

"We had better get going too," Hikari said, her arm wrapped around Touji's waist. "Good night."

"Good night, Hikari...I'll call you tomorrow," Asuka said, "good night moron...and don't get grabby with my friend."

"Good night, Devil," Touji grumbled, "and don't YOU get grabby with my friend." 

The Children watch as their friends walk away, hand in hand, at the last moment detouring to the pizza line for a quick snack. 

"So..." Shinji said as he turned back toward Asuka. "What do you want to do?"

"This music sucks, but it's a beautiful night," she replied, "let's go for a walk." She reached over and gently took his hand in hers, pulling him along. 

Within moments the music had faded into the background, along with the din of the as they made their way through the streets of the city. "Where are we going?" Shinji questioned.

"It's a surprise," Asuka said, tugging on his arm as she quickened her pace. "Come on we're almost there." The pair ran through the crowded street, dodging in between the slowly moving cars as they made their way across. Finally they reached their ultimate destination. Shinji gave the girl a curious look, but she only smiled and pulled him through the revolving front doors of the lavishly decorated lobby and into the closest elevator.

"Top floor please," she told the uniformed operator. 

"What are you doing?" Shinji said, receiving no reply. Instead, the redhead simply tightened her grip on his hand as she stared up at the floor indicator as it incremented. 

The trip took less than a minute, as fate would have it they had taken the express line to the top. As the doors parted they stepped out into the dimly lit lounge of the Second Impact Bistro. 

"Wait here," she instructed the boy as she walked over and spoke to the hostess for a moment. "Come on," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him through the busy restaurant. The band was playing a soft tune as they reached the windows over looking the city. Taking his free hand with hers, she gazed into his deep blue eyes. "I wanted to say…thanks." 

"For what?" Shinji replied.

"For not giving up on me," she whispered, pulling him into a tight embrace as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't promise it's going to be easy from now on."

"That's alright," he said softly, hugging her even tighter as he spoke. "We'll get through it together because you mean everything to me."

"That's the corniest thing I have ever heard," she chuckled.

"I'm sorry," Shinji sighed, "I won't say anything like that again."

"Like hell you won't," Asuka exclaimed as she pushed out of the embrace. "Corny or not, I WANT you to say things like that to me. Every day." She smiled at the dark haired boy as she continued. "Just don't say them in front of anyone else, especially your dorky friends." 

"I'll try to remember that," the Third smiled, "but why did you drag us up here to tell me that?"

"Oh, I came here for a different reason," Asuka said, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him a bit closer. "I need to fix a mistake I made."

"A mistake?"

"Yes," she said, blushing a bit as she spoke. "I should have kissed you that night Misato found out we were faking." 

"It's alright," Shinji said softly, "I understand why you didn't."

"But I wanted to…I really did," Asuka protested, "except my damn ego got in the way. I want to make up for that right now." With that, she pulled him to her and kissed him deeply. It started out slow… neither of them wanting to rush, but before either of them knew it, it had grown from a simple kiss into a fiery, passionate embrace, their lips and hands trying to say everything that their mouths had wanted to for so long.

"That was incredible," Shinji breathed as they reluctantly parted.

"Come on," Asuka said quickly as she took his hand and began leading him through the tables.

"Don't you want to stay?" he cried as tried his best to keep up with the girl.

"Are you stupid?" the redhead replied, "I'm not giving these old geezers a free show. We're going to continue this at home." 

Shinji nodded, a dazed, happy smile lighting his face as his girlfriend led him out of the bar. As they got into the elevator, he noticed that her hand was still linked with his. He stole a glance at her from the corner of his eyes, but she was looking away. He began to turn, but stopped as he caught sight of her face, reflected in the mirrored surface of the elevator's wall.

His heart seemed to stop beating as he noticed that Asuka was smiling, not her usual forced expression of joy, but rather a heartfelt and sincere manifestation of the true feelings within her heart. Something the boy had never seen in all the time that he knew her.

But she had. It was the same expression she had in the picture that hung in her locker.

Silently… the elevator continued its descent…

END OF EPILOUGE

Coming Soon: The Best Laid Plans Lemon OVA (co-authored with Random)  



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